Camilla thought that the gardens of Varde Castle had always been beautiful. Even now, in the middle of winter, she saw an immense beauty in every tree, shrub and vine that grew in the gardens of her home. Outside of the castle, flora and fauna slumbered and wilted, waiting for more pleasant weather to return so that they could re-emerge and once again brighten the land, but the gardens inside the castle’s courtyard were different. The plants here were alive and still vibrant in both colour and texture. The neatly trimmed hedges seemed almost fluffy and they were covered in a thin layer of frost and snow. When the sun touched them, Camilla thought that it looked like they were almost glowing ever so faintly. Many of the small tree’s leaves had turned to a deep red, and when their leaves fell to the ground, they painted the tiled, patterned floor and dirt of the courtyard in a wonderful sea of reds, greens and whites. She couldn’t have imagined a more beautiful sight, yet her attention was not on the beauty surrounding her, but on the book in her hands.
Camilla sat idly upon a comfortable chair that sat in the middle of the gardens. She was completely ignorant of everything around her as she hungrily devoured the contents of the book Kaewyn had given her. She had never understood his fascination with books. She had always found them dull and unexciting, until now. The book followed one of the Founding Emperor’s first military campaigns, and more specifically, his first and one of only a few military defeats, against a tribe of warrior women. Camilla loved learning about their struggles to resist being conquered. In particular, she loved how fearless they were in battle against their enemy and how they didn’t allow others to control their fate. She even found herself cheering for them as she continued to learn about their victories, both large and small. And now that she was nearing the end of the book, she found herself becoming emotional on more than one occasion. She had even come to tears when she learned of the warrior women’s final stand and ultimate defeat in battle against the Founding Emperor. She had become so invested in their story that she had forgotten what Kaewyn had told her outside of Taneby. He had told her that they had all died, every one of them. Still, she had come to discover a new appreciation for books that she never thought she would have, and she had Kaewyn to thank for it.
Camilla sighed and closed her book. It had been five months since she had last seen him. Five long months since her brother Rhys and Kaewyn had led their combined armies to battle the barbarian invasion of her home. She missed him dearly and wondered often what he was doing that day. Had he been thinking of her as she was of him? She thought to herself. She had sent a letter to him roughly a month after he had returned to Greystone Province and he had sent one back, but it wasn’t the same as speaking to him directly. She missed his warm smile and kind words. The way he looked at her made her feel wanted. She craved that feeling, she dreamt of it often, but it had been her own decision to stay in Varde Castle. Despite everything, she did not regret her decision. Alina was certainly grateful to have her by her side during her rather difficult pregnancy and thanked her every day for her help. And with Rhys still wounded, much of the responsibility of the day-to-day affairs had fallen into her lap. The officials of the Vinum Province court discussed matters with Rhys in the rare moments when he was lucid, but every other time the burden of decision-making fell upon her. And she loved it.
Camilla rubbed her eyes and yawned. She had been reading all morning and had completely lost track of time passing her by. She stood up and stretched out her arms and then remembered that she had promised Alina that she would stop by and check up on her before her midday meal. She looked up at the cloudy grey sky and guessed that noon was fast approaching.
Camilla left the gardens via the western walkway which connected the gardens to the courtyard. Usually, General Falke and his newest recruits occupied the courtyard with their drills and practice. Today, however, the wide-open space was near empty, save for a handful of guards that stood by and protected the entrance into Varde Castle’s great hall. The General had been recruiting and training a large number of recruits since the barbarian invasion five months ago in an effort to replace the many who were lost. Vinum is weak, her brother had said in one of the few times he was of sound mind. And while she agreed the losses had been great, she didn’t believe Vinum was weak, not when it had allies like Kaewyn and Greystone Province to call upon.
The guards bowed their heads as Camilla walked up the short steps and through the large doorway and into the great hall. Varde Castle’s great hall was easily twice the size of Xu Castle’s, though Camilla preferred the latter when it came to decoration and colour. Where Xu Castle’s great hall was warm, inviting and covered with sculptures, paintings and other forms of artistry, Varde Castle’s great hall was huge, grey and bland. The only colour was the enormous banners of her house that hung from the walls in dark green and white, but that did little in her mind to break up the grey monotony.
She quickly made her way through the great hall and up the dais, the elevated platform from which the lord sat and received guests or visitors. She then passed by a wall of decorative wooden screens that were set up to create a private area at the rear of the great hall. There were three doors here that led to various parts of the castle. One of these doors led straight to the kitchens and Camilla could hear the angry shouting of the kitchen matron even now. Another door led down into what Camilla suspected was perhaps the largest wine cellar outside of the capital city of Atahlan. She couldn’t even imagine how many bottles of Vinum Province wine were kept down there, though more were delivered to be stored every other week. The wine was renowned throughout the entire Revaryn Empire and was the pride of the Callidus family, but in truth, she didn’t really care for it.
The final door led to a spiralling staircase that led straight to the family area of the castle. Camilla climbed the stairs effortlessly as she had done a thousand times before and found herself in the Great Chamber of House Callidus. The room was one giant room, about as big as the great hall in Xu Castle she believed. All of the family’s personal chambers were connected to the Great Chamber, including her own, as well as a spare room that Alina now used. The whole space was filled with decorative woodwork and sculptures that had been collected mostly as gifts over the years. A few of them were even from Greystone Province, including Camilla’s personal favourite, a handcrafted wooden bottle of wine about three times the size of an ordinary bottle. Tapestries and paintings hung from the walls and a great fireplace sat at the far end of the room. She could remember sitting by that fireplace as a child during the winters of her youth, listening to stories her father and mother would tell them to keep her and Rhys occupied and more importantly, still.
Those fond memories brought a smile to her face, but the joy was short-lived. The only family she had now was her brother, Rhys. His chamber door beside the fireplace seemed cold and uninviting, and she knew that inside was dark and depressing. The physician treating her brother had ordered Rhys to avoid the light while he still recovered, and therefore Alina, still pregnant at the time, had been moved to a different room for the time being.
Camilla tip-toed past his chamber door and made her way over to the room in which Alina was currently staying and knocked. She heard a mumble of acknowledgement from the other side of the door, so she slowly pushed it open and stepped through.
Alina sat slouched in a chair beside the bed with a drowsy expression on her tired face, but the moment she saw Camilla, life seemed to return to her.
“Oh, sister!” Alina said. “I thought you had forgotten all about me today.”
Camilla forced a smile. She hated being called sister. Alina had begun using it as a term of endearment after her marriage to Rhys, but she didn’t like it. They weren’t true sisters, only in-laws by marriage. She wanted to tell Alina to stop, but the poor woman had suffered a difficult pregnancy and didn’t need the one she looked to for support to be so petty over a simple nickname.
“I could never forget about you, Alina.” She said warmly. “How is…”
“She won’t take milk,” Alina said frantically. Camilla saw the fear in the new mother’s tired eyes. “I keep trying, I swear I am trying.” She stammered. “b-but she just won’t take.”
Camilla walked over and gently placed her book on the bedside table and sat on the edge of the bed. Beside the bed was a large wooden cradle gilded with green and gold. She looked inside and saw that within was a baby, swaddled in cloth with a single band tied around to keep it compact and warm. She reached into the cradle and gently lifted the baby out and held it against her chest. Just like her mother, the child seemed stressed and uncomfortable.
“Hey little one,” She whispered. “I’ve got you now.”
Camilla leaned down, kissed her niece on the forehead, and cradled her in her arms as she rocked back and forth. When that didn’t work to settle her, she decided to hum a tune she recalled from her own childhood. Gradually over the next few minutes, the child calmed down and seemed finally to be content.
“You need to worry less and stay calm, Alina.” Camilla said as she carried the baby over to her mother. “She knows when you are stressed and it affects her. I think if you stay calm and dote on her, you will have an easier time feeding her.”
“Where is the wet nurse!?” Alina asked suddenly. Camilla wasn’t sure if she had even heard what she had been saying. “Oh, sister, please fetch the wet nurse.”
“You sent her away yesterday.” She said. “You don’t remember?”
“Rhys didn’t like her…” Alina said tiredly.
“Rhys doesn’t like anyone,” Camilla said, but then she feigned a smile. “Except you, Alina, of course. And my little niece here!”
“Lucilla,” Alina said bluntly.
“Lucilla?” Camilla repeated the name. “You named her already?”
“Rhys and I have always loved that name…” Alina said faintly, and Camilla noticed that her sister-in-law was staring off into nothing. “Or Lucullus, for a son.”
“I thought the custom was to not name a child until they are a month old,” Camilla stated. “It has only been two weeks since you gave birth, Alina. Isn’t it too early to give her a name?”
Alina didn’t respond. The way her sister-in-law was slumped in her chair told Camilla that Alina was out of it. The pregnancy had been rough on her and she hadn’t yet recovered. Some days were worse than others. Oddly enough, Camila saw similarities between Alina and Rhys in how they were coping with their simultaneous recoveries. One day they would be out of it like Alina was today, but sometimes they were remarkably lucid and normal. She began to wonder what sort of day her brother was having, and quickly decided she’d rather not find out if she could help it.
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Camilla spent the next hour playing with her niece, Lucilla. Alina fell asleep and then woke again regularly, often to fret over her child’s wellbeing, before falling back to slumber. Occasionally, when Alina slept, Camilla would speak to her niece as if she were fully grown and could understand everything she said to her. She told her of her adventures in Greystone Province and about all of the people she met along the way. She’d even put on a voice and pretend to be her niece asking herself a question, before answering it with her regular voice again. She told Lucilla all about Kaewyn and how brave and kind she thought he was, as well as her friend General Falke and his heroic deeds.
Soon, it came time for the midday meal. A servant knocked at the door and brought Alina her food, a small selection of various fruits and a piece of cheese and bread, but Camilla’s sister-in-law had little appetite and showed no interest in eating. The servant then asked if Camilla would like her own meal brought to the room to which she reluctantly answered yes. She’d much rather have taken the opportunity to leave, but she was worried about leaving her niece with Alina in such a state.
When her own food was brought, Camilla delighted in seeing her niece giggle and watch her eat with interest. Lucilla must be hungry, she thought. Camilla then gave her niece to Alina and encouraged her to try to feed her again. Alina wasn’t enthusiastic and professed that she had been trying all morning with little success, but as she spoke, the child began to suckle eagerly. A visible wave of relief swept over Alina’s tired face as her worry and fear gave way to elation. Camilla watched with a smile as saw, for the first time today, a truly content mother and child. Alina’s own appetite was then reignited and she too, began to eat.
Just when she began to ponder whether she could leave now or not, there came a hesitant knock at the door. Not wanting to disturb Alina, Camilla quietly made her way to the door and opened it. At the door was a young man with short, brown hair. He wore a long, drooping grey robe with large sleeves. He looked at her nervously and kept averting his eyes whenever they met with hers.
“Forgive the intrusion, milady.” Said the young man. “The servants from the kitchen told me you were here and I have a favour to ask of you.”
“Who are you?” She asked.
“Oh, I… apologies.” The young man stammered. “I should have introduced myself. I am the court physician’s assistant.”
“And what is this favour you wish to ask of me?”
“Well, uhh... as you know milady, Lord Rhys takes his medicine for pain each morning.” The physician’s assistant said. “Only this morning, and many others before mind you, he refused. And now he has quarrelled with my master. Now my master refuses to go to Lord Rhys and sends me in his stead.”
The young man fidgeted and played with his fingers. “It is very important for Lord Rhys to take his medicine, milady. My master said that you have been the one making all of the decisions while Lord Rhys recovers, so I was hoping if you were to deliver it to him, perhaps he’d be more willing to listen.”
“Then you do not know my brother very well,” Camilla said with a sigh.
The physician’s assistant pulled out a small vial from his sleeve and held it in his hands. “Will you help me, milady?”
The vial held a cloudy, thick substance that did not look at all pleasant. Rhys has to drink this? She thought to herself. For once, she felt some pity for her brother. Camilla took the vial and nodded. The young man smiled as a wave of relief swept over him. He thanked her again and again before she dismissed him and closed the door. She then returned to Alina and her niece who had barely noticed the brief disturbance.
“Oh, sister,” Alina said. “Is everything okay?”
“Everything is fine.” She said calmly. “I just need to attend to a matter elsewhere.”
Alina’s eyes widened in fear. She began to shuffle and disturb the baby.
“But you cannot leave! You have been so helpful.” Alina said. “With you here, I feel much more at ease. And so does Lucilla.”
“I haven’t done much of anything for the past fifteen minutes, Alina.” She said. “You have been doing it all on your own.”
Alina looked at her in thought but said nothing.
“You don’t need me… but do not worry.” She said reluctantly. “I will return soon.”
“Do hurry back, dear sister.” Alina replied. “Lucilla and I cannot bear to be parted from you for long.”
Camilla leaned down, kissed her niece on the forehead, and then took her leave. Once she was back out in the Great Chamber, she walked over to Rhys’ chamber door and paused outside. She could feel her apprehension growing at the thought of seeing her brother. Her mind went back to when he had struck her and she could almost feel the sting of the blow return.
She swallowed back her fear. She was determined that if Rhys acted up, she would stand up for herself. Camilla knocked on her brother’s door and waited. When no response was forthcoming, she took a breath to steel herself and then gently opened the door, then stepped inside.
It was incredibly dark and the room smelled of dust. No candles burned and the windows were covered by curtains that had been pulled and tied shut. Only the faintest of light emanated from behind them and gave her some small measure to navigate by.
She made out a figure lurching awkwardly in a chair in the centre of the room. It was facing away from her with his back to the door. With the vial in her hands, she stepped closer until the figure raised a hand.
“I have your medicine from the physician.” She said, uncertain whether or not she was going to get a response. “Will you take it?”
Rhys, like Alina, had good and bad days. Sometimes he was as he had always been, other times he was unresponsive and quiet. There was no way to tell what version of her brother she was to deal with today.
“It addles the mind.” Rhys finally said. “The poison in that vial you bring. I want none of it.”
“Are you not in pain?” She asked. “The physician says you need to take it.”
“Is the physician the lord of this castle? Must I do what he says?” Rhys said tiredly, his voice was coarse and he spoke slowly as though simply speaking exhausted him. “I will bear through the pain if it means my mind remains my own.”
“It has been so long since the battle…” Camilla said. “Does it still hurt so much?”
Rhys lowered his head, but he did not reply. Camilla etched closer to his chair and played with the vial in her hands. She didn’t know what to do. If her brother was suffering so badly, then perhaps he should take the medicine. Though she could not fault him for not wishing to do so.
Camilla made her way around Rhys and stood in front of him. She looked at her brother and saw a tired, despondent figure. His head drooped low and he looked as though he would struggle to even stand without support. To her, it seemed as if her brother had aged ten full years. She decided at that moment to allow him to decide for himself and placed the vial on the small table beside him.
“I will leave it here for if you change your mind then.” She said.
Rhys looked up at the vial and after a brief moment of contemplation, he reached out and grasped it with his hand. He then slowly placed his hands on the sides of his chair and lifted himself up, staggering in the process. Camilla quickly offered her support, but her brother pushed her away defiantly. She then watched him with worry as he hobbled across the room to one of his windows. Rhys pulled aside the curtain and shielded his eyes from the light with his off hand, before opening the window and—
“Rhys, don’t!” She shouted, but it was too late.
Rhys tossed the vial with all his remaining strength straight out of the window, then closed the curtain and stumbled back to his chair as slowly as he had risen. She didn’t know what to say to him, but it was obvious to her he had no intention of taking any such pain medication any time soon.
“Why did you do that?” She asked him.
“Vinum Province is weak.” He replied. “I cannot remain in my chambers addled on medicine while our home is vulnerable. The barbarian invasion proved that.”
Rhys sighed and succumbed to a momentary coughing fit before continuing.
“This newfound clarity has me pondering the future of the Callidus family, Camilla. And I must act to protect it at any cost. I must protect Alina and my daughter, at any cost. Would you agree?”
“Yes, but we are safe here. Allow yourself to recover first.”
“I will recover, in time.” He answered. “In the meantime, I have made plans for the future to safeguard our family.”
“What plans?”
“I have been in talks with Lord Sudrow of Karikhan and proposed a marriage between our families to create an alliance. One we will need if our family is to survive the chaos of the land.” He finally said, producing a letter from his pocket and holding it in the air between two of his fingers. “This letter arrived this morning. Lord Sudrow has agreed to the match.”
Camilla felt anger surge up within her. She balled her fists and prepared to shout.
“She is too young to be betrothed, Rhys!” She said angrily. “She isn’t even a month old!”
Rhys coughed again. “…She is not the one of whom I speak.”
A sudden realisation dawned upon her. Her brother meant for her to be married. She opened her mouth to voice her protest, but her mind was racing so fast she couldn’t even speak. She was furious and emotional. She felt betrayed and frustrated, but above all, she was terrified.
“…Nothing? Really?” Rhys said after a period of silence had passed. “I expected shouting and arguing.”
‘Rhys…” Camilla said flatly. “I… after everything we have been through, and after everything you have done, I thought at the very least you… you’d allow me just one thing.”
Rhys looked at her, his face unreadable.
“You know how Kaewyn and I feel about each other. And yet…”
“You would do well to not mention his name in my presence, Camilla.” He said sternly. “You would also do well to forget your brief entanglement with him.”
“I will never just forget him!” She said defiantly.
“You are lucky I allowed you two to have your fun without interfering, but all that is over now.” He said to her. “You have always wanted to be taken seriously as a member of this family? Then you will stop playing your games and do your duty as a Callidus, as I have always done.”
“As you have always done!?” She shouted angrily. “You get away with everything and do as you please!”
“How dare you!” Rhys shouted, with none of the slow tiredness with which he had spoken up until now. “I have always done what was required of me!”
Camilla shook her head as tears flowed down her cheeks. “You are a liar!”
“I was married at the age of seventeen against my will!” He shouted. “I never had a say, never had a choice in the matter. I have been married for five years, Camilla, while you dallied to and fro without a care in the world. For too long you’ve been wild, and now you will do your duty as I did mine.”
As angry as she was, she did see some truth in Rhys’s words, but she was too emotional to care. She hated her brother at that moment. He knew about her and Kaewyn, he knew. And still, he secretly organised her betrothal to some Sudrow she had probably never met. She felt the anger boiling in her blood. She wanted to hit her brother, as he had done to her five months ago, but instead, she swallowed it back and cursed him with her words over and over again.
“I suggest you return to your chambers, sister, and prepare for your new life.”
Camilla cursed him a final time and began to storm out of her brother’s chambers, but she paused in the doorway when she heard him call out for her to wait, an urgency in his voice. A small part of her held out hope that he had changed his mind.
“Camilla…” He said softly, pulling himself to his feet to face her directly. “I… have come to regret what I did to you that day. I haven’t forgiven myself for it. I just wanted you to know that.”
“What you have done today,” She said with a low voice. “…has hurt me more than any physical pain you could ever inflict upon me, Rhys. I hope you know that!”
Camilla turned to leave, but then another thought struck her. She turned back to face him and said her peace.
“Is this the fate Lucilla has waiting for her when she comes of age?” Camilla shouted at her brother. “To be sold to another and be sent far from everything she has ever known, and loved? I will never forgive you.”
Camilla didn’t wait for Rhys to respond. Instead, she turned and stormed off. She didn’t go to her own chambers, instead, she made her way down the stairs as the tears came unbidden and unwelcome. She rushed through the great hall and into the courtyard and ran all the way to the gardens before collapsing upon the ground, surrounded by the most beautiful of winter’s flora. She cried for a time, and when the tears faded, she became so angry that she destroyed the plant nearest her with a violent lashing, until that too, faded. All that remained then was an immense sadness that she knew would never fade, and a fear of the future only this morning she was so excited to experience.