Chapter 70: Lost in the Darkness

??? POV

My name here… is irrelevant.

How I act here… is irrelevant.

Who I am here… is irrelevant.

Because I know the truth. I remember what was, and I can predict what will be. For somebody like me, these trials should be a cakewalk. But for some reason, I’m afraid.

I’m afraid of the unpredictable.

I’m afraid of the unknown.

While the rest continue mindlessly lurking in the dark, I’m the lone person capable of seeing everything clearly. But as time passes, I feel like I’m slowly fading away, and things that once made sense are now starting to blur.

I’m no longer the person I once was.

Is this the curse of being omniscient? Or perhaps… do I long for the blessing of ignorance?

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Maybe I shouldn’t have done that back then… if I didn’t, could I have avoided this altogether?

No! I can’t think like that! They would’ve killed me! I… I would’ve been sentencing myself to death!

I had to do it… I had to! What’s done is done! There was no other option! I had no other choice!

All I wanted to do was to protect myself. Yes. My choices and actions extended my life, but they also brought dreadful consequences. Consequences that I could not possibly foresee.

But that’s not my fault! It’s theirs! I shouldn’t be here! This never should’ve happened!

How could this happen…?

Arrrghhh…! Damn it! What the hell am I thinking?! Who cares about the past!!

All that matters is what happens now. I can’t afford to lose focus. I have a purpose, a duty!

I’ve made it this far already. I can’t give up now! I just can't!

But when the dust settles and these trials draw to a close… what will be left?

Of me?

Will the outcome be worth all of this torment? Or would it have all been for naught?

I- I can’t foresee the answers to those questions.

Sigh.

Even though I possess far more knowledge than the rest… I’m still somehow the most blind to the truth... and the future.

Heh.

Maybe it’s not so far-fetched to think…

That I’m lost in the darkness too.