Homeless Bunny 26

Cinder Fall

I knelt alongside Watts and Rainart before the queen. She wasn't truly here, small mercies, but Watts had managed to set up a CCT link to Evernight Castle in the Land of Darkness. Though I knelt at the "head," with both men flanking me, I could feel their judging eyes on my back. It was no true authority. I felt like a lamb before the butcher, front and center to face my mistress' wrath.

Just the fact that these two were here at all was a testament to my failure. Watts needed to hack the prison's internal security network. Rainart had to stealthily assault the guards from the outside, giving me the opportunity to conduct my own escape.

I hadn't even been able to call for help on my own. I had missed a report and Salem had used the grimm to determine my location before mounting this rescue.

How humiliating.

"Tell me, Cinder, why my two subjects had to be reassigned to Vale? You had assured me of your success," the queen of the grimm asked. Her voice was soft and melodic, if I closed my eyes, I could almost picture an angel, but I wasn't fooled. There was danger there, power lying beneath that I feared and craved in equal measure. "You, a Maiden, however incomplete, was arrested by a sole huntress."

"I was not, my lady," I said. I had to tell her the truth, that was the only way I got out of this alive. "Glynda Goodwitch was powerful, but I could handle her."

"Oh?" her crimson eyes narrowed in implied threat. It was suffocating. She was entire continents away, but her mere displeasure made me feel as though I was breathing in a thick fog. "Please, enlighten me."

"There was an unforeseen variable, my lady. Glynda Goodwitch did not defeat me, someone else did. He was a short, white-haired rabbit faunus with red eyes. He was impervious to magic and though I stabbed him, my swords could not pierce his aura at all."

"A second huntsman? I suppose with prodigious aura reserves?"

"No. It was… It was as though the magic itself fizzled out against his skin. At one point, he even plucked a fireball from my hands and swallowed it as if to prove a point. No amount of aura should have protected him from that explosion," I said. I felt beads of sweat run down my back. This would be… tricky… "My lady, he… he knew I was a Maiden."

"One of Ozpin's pets perhaps?" Salem hummed in thought.

"No, my lady. At the very least, I am sure that Goodwitch did not recognize him. She scolded him as if he was a student."

"Ozpin has always loved his secrets. It is not out of the question for him to keep a card or two hidden, even from his supposed most trusted. However… you are certain that he ate magic?"

"Yes, my lady."

"Intriguing. I had thought the Maidens and I were the sole remaining sorcerers."

"Is… Is it possible for a man to wield magic?"

"Of course, child, though why it resurfaced, or how, I cannot say for certain. A name. Did he have a name?"

"I apologize, my lady. A huntress-in-training recognized him but I was too far to hear his name clearly. It sounded Mistralian."

"Perhaps I ought to test him… No matter. Ozpin will want to keep this new variable close now that he has been revealed. Arthur."

"Yes, my lady," Watts said from my right.

"Look for new additions to Beacon's staff. Investigate any white-haired rabbit faunus. Cinder, you and Hazel are to recruit heavily. If your plan is to succeed, you must subvert the White Fang in its entirety."

"Yes, my lady," we chorused.

I knew what she wasn't saying: Failure was not an option. The queen of the grimm was not a forgiving woman and it was only the investment she'd already placed into my body that kept her from simply killing me off to try again.

This… This wasn't bad. I would have to share the glory for the fall of Beacon, but the Fall Maiden's power would be mine. Neither of my two compatriots could wield magic after all. And, with a little more support, I felt sure we could defeat Ozpin's newest chess piece. There was a certain irony in this, using the White Fang to battle a faunus.

Yes, this wasn't bad at all.

X

Tianyu Yue

I put the finishing touches on twelve bento boxes. RWBY, by virtue of my "kid sister" got a share. VALN, what with them eating with us often, looked pitiful enough that I ended up making them some as well. Truly, I was a most gracious and merciful rabbit.

Today's lunch was simple, plain, even. I made white rice sprinkled with sesame seeds for crunch, cucumber kimchi I'd allowed to marinate for several days with a basic application of time magic, and silken tofu with a small packet filled with a sweet soy sauce and sesame oil glaze. A second packet of freshly chopped scallions, kept separate for maximum crisp, finished the box. It was light, fragrant, and a departure from Vale's more European-themed fare.

This menu was partially for the twins, who were originally from Mistral and grew up eating food similar to this, and Ren, my sole island of bromance amongst our three teams. We didn't get to hang out often, what with my cooking, the twins' training, and Nora's Nora-ness, but I cherished what few quiet evenings we had.

We did not train or study together. Rather, we luxuriated in doing nothing at all. He was knowledgeable about many different types of teas and expressed an interest in the finer art of brewing, something I was delighted to teach.

He sat still and listened as I went on about the various types of teas in my collection, their brewing methods, and flavor profiles. We tasted various snacks and got to discuss the limitless pairing options for optimal serenity. The experience reminded me of the times I'd showed up at Totsuki Academy to teach. It was called the "Totsuki Tea Ceremony and Culinary Academy" after all.

My partner pranced into the kitchen, her schoolgirl uniform making her look even younger than she normally did. Despite all the initial whining, Militia had taken to school life unexpectedly well and seemed to be enjoying herself. Amber followed behind, dragging Melanie by the hand. Though Miltia managed to make her own entertainment, Melanie was far less enthusiastic about becoming a student again and seemed happy to flunk out of school.

Rumors abounded. We were spoiled brats with platinum spoons, each of us becoming huntsmen for the glamor and fame rather than a sense of civic duty. This was given credit by the fact that half the school believed I was a Schnee bastard.

Another rumor said we were Amber's entourage and that she descended from an extremely powerful line of huntresses. The twins served as her bodyguards and I was her personal chef, which was why I was excused from combat class.

A third rumor said I'd somehow discovered "aura cooking," whatever the fuck that was, which gave Ozpin such a massive orgasm that he'd do anything for my food.

The hilarious part of it all was that the third rumor was closest to the truth. As the Cooking Campione, my mastery of the culinary dao was transcendent. There was very little Ozpin wouldn't do for my coffee.

"Ready to go?" I smiled, handing out their bento boxes.

"You didn't need to make us bentos, Tianyu," Amber said with a grateful smile. "We won't starve if we have to eat cafeteria food for a day."

"Speak for yourself, farm girl," Miltia said, cradling her bento like a newborn child. "Food is like the main perk of being on this team."

"Not the training?"

"That's the price we pay to get phenomenal food."

"You two have shown marked progress, you know, and in only what? Five weeks?"

"We have, haven't we?" Melanie preened, sliding up to her twin.

"Yes, the Moon Bunny's Hippest Hops are clearly a transcendental martial art," I said, nodding proudly. "I'm glad you're finally recognizing its worth."

"I'm pretty sure it's the increased gravity that's really to thank for their improvement, Tianyu," Amber said.

The author's content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

"You're right. More gravity sounds like a good idea."

"What? No! We don't need more gravity, bun-bun!" Miltia squawked.

"Come on! That's not fair," her twin added.

I cackled and walked to the door. The twins swore vengeance upon Amber. They still couldn't pose a challenge to her, even working together, but they were vicious and cunning in a way Amber was not. They'd make their displeasure known.

Hilariously, my training sessions had gotten them to bond with my "sister," something about shared misery. For her part, Weiss had been forced to reconsider her opinion of the twins when she realized that the reason they lost so badly in every combat class was because they were so dead tired from my sessions.

Truly, the blood of hardship was thicker than the water of the womb.

X

We were seated around a table in the cafeteria. The silken tofu was delicious, light and smooth with a sweet-salty glaze. The crispy cucumber kimchi perfectly complemented the tofu without overpowering it with sourness like a more fermented cabbage kimchi might.

My food wasn't orgasmic this time. I'd be a rather poor chef if that was all I could do. Instead, the goal of this meal was to leave my Mistalian friends with a sense of fulfilled nostalgia. Everyone else got hit with a dose of tranquility, like listening to the rain and sipping a warm mug of hot chocolate.

"Ow! Stop it! Please, let go," a brunette bunny faunus yelped, thoroughly ruining the experience. I didn't need to turn around to know what was happening. Cardin Winchester, leader of CRDL, was bullying a faunus.

I took a deep breath and forcibly quashed my irritation. I would not become a tyrant like my eldest brother. Murdering every moron who dared interrupt the sacred ritual that was the dining experience was socially unacceptable. And, for all my many quirks, I took some measure of pride in being one of the more reasonable Campione. More importantly, it went against the Fivefold Confucian Virtues and my lovely wife would be disappointed with me.

Punishment was fine. Exaggerated punishment was not.

If I told myself that enough times, maybe I wouldn't feel the need to punt Cardin to Menagerie. Beacon could always start a cultural exchange program, right?

A few seats away from me, I saw Ilia stand, hands balled into fists. She'd been a target of Cardin's bullying a few times, only for her to rip him a new one. She was a former White Fang operative who was comfortable fighting for her life. Cardin was a meathead "knight" with delusions of grandeur and zero real world experience. It didn't take long for her to convince him quite thoroughly that she wasn't a valid target.

That said, her team had closed around her to drive home the point. Ren always put himself between her and her ostensible bully. Pyrrha had called him out in combat class every chance she could, and with a viciousness that was atypical for the gentle girl. I thought the little chameleon appreciated Nora's offer to break his legs most though. Given the way they grew closer together because of Cardin, I hadn't felt the need to intervene.

Similarly, Cardin didn't dare mess with me in the halls. Being the team leader of the only person who regularly handed Pyrrha Nikos her ass, this poor bunny wasn't an easy mark. If nothing else, I was rather well-known for my speed and powerful Semblance, however undercut that reputation might have been by my apparent cowardice.

After that mess with Ilia, he'd stayed away from faunus altogether for a week or so. It seemed he'd found his courage again.

Blake looked conflicted. I'd gathered that she was the one who preferred to fade into the background, an introvert who'd rather surround herself with young adult novels than other people. She also possessed a strong sense of justice and often got in passionate debates with Weiss about the latter's father's corporate policies.

She looked at Ilia, then at the bunny girl, Velvet was her name, and finally stood to back up her friend. That was good. The two had obviously been close, but there had been some friction between them, presumably because Blake abandoned the Fang.

"Are you not going to join them?" Miltia asked me.

"Hmm? Why would I?" I shrugged. "Those two are perfectly capable of handling CRDL their collective asses."

"Well, yeah, but I thought you'd be mad. You know, faunus pride or something."

"I keep telling you I'm not a faunus; I'm a Campione. We're kind of our own thing. I reject the notion that I must feel some misplaced pride with faunus simply because I happen to also have animal ears."

"So how about for disturbing our meal then?"

"That's a much better reason. But the key is proportional punishment. Nothing I do to them will be proportional, at least in Ozpin's eyes, and this is still his school. It's important to show the landlord some face."

"Huh."

"Although," I added, "you do have a point. It's a travesty what that Velvet girl's doing."

"You can't blame a girl for being bullied, Tianyu," Amber chided.

"I can if she's blatantly stronger than them. I can tell; that bunny can wipe the floor with all four of those idiots whenever she wants."

"Wait, so she's pulling a Tianyu then?"

"What does 'pulling a Tianyu' mean? I'm not sure how I feel about my name becoming a process."

"You screamed like a girl and ran out of combat class," Miltia deadpanned.

"After making Cardin nail Goodwitch with his mace," Melanie giggled.

"Yup. Do you just like pretending to be weaker than everyone? Like one of those shitty light novel tropes with a badass janitor."

"Oh, nah, I just wanted more time to cook and combat class is a waste of time, that's all," I chirped happily. "I even got around to making a new cookbook and started revising a few alchemical recipes lately. Oh, and just the other day, I ran out along the coast so I could find a reef. I got myself some fantastic groupers. They're under preservation spells in my trunk. Really, I don't think Vale benefits from the bounties of the sea enough."

Weiss, my lovable little sister, drawled, "Perhaps that's because of the excessively large aquatic grimm, like feilong. Shipping of any kind is costly, Tianyu, never mind industrialized fishing."

"I'm starting to think the grimm aren't worth keeping around. If I ever decide to claim Remnant as my protectorate, I shall see about expanding these industries further," I said with an imperial nod.

No one at my table reacted. More than a month into the school year, they weren't surprised by such declarations anymore.

"Glad you're having fun while the rest of us are getting our asses kicked," my partner drawled.

"Anyway, she's not 'pulling a Tianyu.' She's genuinely bothered by the bullying. She's just taking it for some reason though and that's a travesty. One sec." So saying, I vanished from sight. The next thing anyone knew, Velvet was seated to my left, eyes still scrunched shut in pain. "Talking about it made me curious so there: bunny solidarity. Say, choco-bun, why are you letting them bully you?"

She looked around in a panic. "H-Huh? What? How did you-"

"Don't worry about that. You. You're stronger than them. Why are you letting yourself get pushed around?"

"Pft, choco-bun," Melanie giggled next to her. "She probably thinks they'll leave her alone once they're satisfied."

Now that Velvet was with us, the entire table summarily ignored the ass kicking going on across the hall. Beacon's staff wanted budding huntsmen to solve their own problems. As it so happened, there was only one real way superpowered teenagers resolved conflicts.

A few people looked like they might interfere, though on whose side was unclear. Amber looked around, met them eye to eye, and tapped the table with her finger. Each time she brought her finger down, the air seemed to solidify and grow heavier around their shoulders, pressing them ever more insistently back into their seats.

As much as the twins had improved, Amber had grown all the more. Unlike the twins, she started with a background in magic after all. She made me proud to call her my student; in both power and control, she wouldn't fall short against a great knight of a famed mage association.

Wisely, no one else tried to stand.

Message sent, she turned back to Velvet with a kind smile. "That won't work, Velvet. Cardin is the kind of trash who feels superior by putting others down. He won't stop leaving you alone because letting him walk all over you is exactly what he wants."

"H-He does," Velvet pointed at me accusingly. "He just runs."

"Ignore our team leader. Seriously. It's better for your sanity."

"Just assume the universe doesn't have rules where he's concerned," Melanie added.

I nodded enthusiastically. An idea was forming in my mind, percolating like the most aromatic of coffees. "Exactly. And that's because I am a bunny."

"I'm pretty sure most bunnies don't warp reality for shits and giggles, Tianyu."

"Well, obviously not choco-bun here. She's doing it wrong."

"I-I'm… being a faunus… wrong?" Velvet asked in her adorable Aussie twang. Where did a faunus pick up an Australian accent, anyway? Wherever it was, I wanted to visit.

"No! You're being a bunny wrong!" I exclaimed. I placed two hands on her shoulders and stared her down intently, my ruby eyes peering into pools of deeply confused chocolate. "Hear me well, Velvet Scarlatina. Before you are a faunus, you are a bunny. The bunny is the apex predator of this world. It is your divine inheritance to rule over all, as decreed by me, the Jade Rabbit who is clad in lunar splendor."

"I-It's not. You're crazy."

"He is," Miltia drawled, "but we love him anyway."

"Is it really insanity when he can back up his bullshit?" her twin asked. She then proceeded to steal Ilia and Blake's bentos while they were busy.

"It is. It just means he's a very dangerous kind of crazy."

"True that, sis."

"Anyway," I cut in with a faux cough. "We have a saying: The dragon is the king of the seas. The tiger is the lord of the jungle. But the stars? The stars belong to the Jade Rabbit!"

"I-I don't know what that means," the shy bun stammered.

Oh, this poor, sweet child. The more I heard of her, the surer I became. "Unacceptable! I shall teach you the way of the bun-bun. You will become the greatest of heroes, the champion of all that is fluffy and pure. You will hop across mountains and listen to the song of the cosmos! From this point on, as the sole bunny disciple of the Jade Rabbit, you are the Young Mistress of the Lunar Palace. Conduct yourself with dignity befitting your station!"

Miltia swallowed another mouthful of Blake's silken tofu. "Joy, another training buddy."

"I didn't choose this!" Velvet yelled.

"Silly choco-bun. No one chooses Tianyu."

"I need an adult."

I gave her a headpat. As one who had received the platonic ideal of headpats from the Ruler of the Martial Realm, I considered myself quite the connoisseur of this sacred dao. And, like the novice faced with Mount Tai, Velvet shivered as pure, concentrated comfort and acceptance radiated down her body. "I'm over a hundred years old."

"S-Stop lying," she struggled to say. Her eyes were narrowed in unwilling pleasure. Her hands twitched towards her head but her own body betrayed her and would not permit her to stop this most sacred of rituals.

"I don't lie. You know, I don't think I've ever lied since coming to Remnant. It just so happens that the truth is stranger than fiction sometimes. Or constantly where Campione are concerned."

"You can't just draft me into your training sessions!" Velvet thought desperately for an excuse. "I-I have my own team, you know!"

"Lies. They are not here in your time of need. Don't you know? A bunny requires at least one hug per day or they'll die of loneliness."

Amber snorted. "You'd know, wouldn't you? Is that why you let the twins give you headpats?"

"Precisely."

"You're impossible."

"Don't worry, Velvet Scarlatina. When I'm done with you, you'll make for a worthy Young Mistress of the Lunar Palace."

Author's Note

Choco-bun get!

Animal fact? Sure. Koala bears have fingerprints so similar to human fingerprints that they can potentially interfere with crime scene investigations.

While no one in Australia has been framed of a crime committed by a koala, that is probably because they are literally too stupid to eat anything but poison. Those evil bastards are plotting something. Or they would be if they weren't fucking idiots.

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