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Hobo Warrior Bunny (Season 1)
Hobo Warrior Bunny & Bazooka Bunny- Pt 4

Hobo Warrior Bunny & Bazooka Bunny- Pt 4

A bell dings with a delightful charm above the entrance of Samantha's Spa's. The lobby is brightly lit, with pink and fluffy furniture, healthy plants, up-to-date magazines, and a TV playing a home improvement show. The lobby is populated with lots of female rabbits of various shapes and sizes waiting in comfy chairs, and Lexia couldn’t be happier of being in such a wonderful place.

With a bright smile and a skip in her steps, Lexia goes to the counter, dressed casually, and rings the counter bell as she coolly leans against the polished wood. A moment later, the secretary approaches with a clipboard and pen. The secretary is a female lop eared rabbit with white fur, long brown ears, curly black hair, and a permanent done-with-life expression that matches her grayish blue eyes. Her name is Mariana Cross, and she wants to go home.

“The usual?” asks Mariana.

“The usual,” replies Lexia.

“Cash?”

“Cash.”

“Now?”

Lexia takes out a crumpled wad of bills and drops them on the counter. “Now.”

Mariana keeps her bored expression as she stiffly grabs the money and drags it off the counter without breaking eye contact with Lexia. Once she has the money secured in the drawer, Mariana drops a ticket in front of Lexia and writes her name on the clipboard.

“You’ll be number seventeen,” says Mariana.

“What happened to ‘now’?” asks Lexia.

Mariana stares at Lexia, and Lexia snatches the ticket off the counter.

“Actually, never mind. I’ll wait. I like waiting. I’ll wait right over here. Patiently.” Lexia sits next to the TV and stretches out her legs, hands folded on her lap, and her smile strained. Her thumbs twirl against each other, and her eyes dart around before looking at the rabbit next to her, who is reading a magazine about popsicle stick crafts. “Patience is my middle name, you know.”

“Your mom said it was Gertrude,” says the rabbit without looking up.

“Lies and deceit! … I changed it to Xenia… Court pending approval.”

“Hmhm,” hums the rabbit, flipping the page.

“Number seven,” calls Mariana.

Lexia gasps and perks, and Mariana looks at her.

“Just number seven,” says Mariana.

Lexia slouches, and the rabbit she was talking to puts the magazine on the table next to her and walks away.

“Say hi to your mom for me,” she says.

“Uh huh, sure… whoever you are,” grumbles Lexia.

***

On the streets of Bliss Town, Claribel is studying her copy of the local map while chugging an energy drink (brand is Road Runner Rampage, and it tastes like kiwi). Her hat protects her eyes from the sun, and people stare at her and slow their walks as they give a wide berth to pass her. Even a police car passing by slows to a crawl while the cops look at her. Fortunately, Claribel is not interested in their antics; after all, it is not often a snake makes an appearance, much less a snake with a Tommy gun who looks like they crawled out of a 1920s mobster den. No, her annoyance is with the map.

“Where the hell is Samantha's Spa?” wonders Claribel, her tail rattling and her hand crushing the now empty energy can.

Then a shadow looms over Claribel, and she stiffens and looks over her shoulder to see a tall ram reading her map. This also makes her tail rattle.

“Can I help you?” asks Claribel.

The tall ram points down the road.

“Miss, I believe Samantha's Spa is down that way,” he says.

Claribel looks down the road, then at the map.

“It won’t be on that map. Your map is ten years old, and Samantha’s Spa is five years old.” The tall ram reaches into his coat pocket and gives her a neatly folded map. “Here, have mine instead. It was printed earlier this year.”

Claribel hesitantly takes the map. “Thanks…”

“No problem,” says the tall ram. He pulls out a protein bar and starts eating. “Enjoy your day at the spa. You look like you need it.”

Claribel is speechless about this claim, so rather than trying to find words, she just leaves. Her steps are quick, and the pedestrians moving out of her way are quicker. And as she runs, the ram waves farewell to her and then he looks across the street. There, he sees Mortimer with his case ducking into a public bathroom. Which is near Arty's Arcade.

The tall ram smiles and pulls out a small notebook.

“Nice…” he says.

***

Inside the public bathroom, Mortimer pushes open each dirty stall. All of them are empty, have brown water, and vile graffiti desecrating their green walls. With the coast clear, Mortimer locks the bathroom door and opens his case, pulls out a large battery pack, a pair of gloves, and lots of wires, and he begins assembling his gear with haste.

***

Inside Arty’s Arcade, Jayson sits on a vibrantly decorated half wall, watching kids play a fighting game. The flashing lights, chaotic noises of buttons clacking, explosions, gunshots, lasers, and low quality screams mixing with loud music from the other games are hell on his ears, but he watches with great interest and has his cosmic-wood sword held close to his chest. As Jayson watches them, an older, fat rabbit approaches him and leans on the wall next to him. This is the owner, Owen Owenheim.

“Hey,” he says.

“Hey,” replies Jayson. “You really turned this place around.”

“Yeah, it was a good investment. If things keep up like this, I’ll have it paid off in three years.”

Jayson nods, smiling thinly. “Good… good.”

The two are silent for a few more seconds, watching the patrons play the arcade games or control their children with various degrees of success. Then Owen breaks the silence with a sigh and a quick drum on the wall.

“So... I heard you Lexia got into a fight again,” says Owen.

“It happens,” says Jayson.

“You do know Lexia is going to kill you one day?”

“That'll be the day.”

“I'm not joking, Jayson. She's a freak. Stay away from her.”

“I'm not scared of her.”

“You should be.”

“Fear is a weakness that is easily exploitable. So, I live fearlessly, even when dealing with Lexia. It is the way to go.”

Owen scoffs and pulls away from the wall. “Yeah... Okay. I'm just going to do prize inventory… Weirdo.”

Owen walks away and Jayson smiles to himself as his grip tightens around the hilt of his cosmic wood sword. But the serenity is ruined when a car screeches and his ears perk up. In one swift motion he whips around and dives off the half-wall, tackling a kid onto the ground. An unseen force flings a car through the arcade entrance, spraying the lobby with shattered glass and splintered brick. People scream and scatter as Jayson scrambles to take cover behind another half-wall with the kid, who is quivering in fear. The car skids along the floor until it slams into the wall Jayson was sitting on just seconds ago, sputtering out smoke and crackling its engine. After a few seconds of heavy silence, Jayson releases the kid and shoos him away.

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“Find your parents and run,” says Jayson.

The kid scampers off and Jayson peeks out from the corner. His ears droop and his eyes widen when the car is shoved to the side by an invisible force, destroying the prize booth and nearly hitting Owen. Then a shadow stretches across the floor, and Jayson narrows his eyes.

“What the hell?” says Jayson.

In the doorway is a red fox with the right portion of his face burned and his right ear mangled. A battery pack is strapped on his back, and he is glowing mechanical gloves. He is also dressed like a magician with a sparkly jacket and fancy vest. Mortimer Walters has arrived.

“Come on out, Hobo. I know you’re in here,” says Mortimer.

Mortimer steps further in, passing rabbits cowering and shivering in fear.

“Wheeeere aaaare youuuu?” sings Mortimer. Then he suddenly stops, slowly turns to Jayson and grins. His gloves spark, glow and hum, and a metal pole is ripped off the wall and flies into his hand while metallic debris rises to surround his other hand. “There you are.”

***

At Samantha’s Spa, Lexia is still sitting in the lobby, but now she has moved near a display of lotions, shampoos, and dyes, all of which are locked in their cases. Her foot taps the floor, her fingers tap her hand, and she looks around anxiously while occasionally reading a label. While she's alternating between reading labels and scanning the lobby, her spine starts to tingle and her fingers twitch as she looks around some more. While she looks around, her eyes catch something outside. She didn't mean to look outside, but what she sees gives her pause. Then her eyes widen, and she throws the nearest rabbit to the floor.

“Everyone duck!” yells Lexia.

Suppressed gunfire rattles, and wood and glass shatter, and bottles of shampoo and care products explode, showering the area with fragrant goo and debris. The bullets destroyed the area Lexia was sitting at just a split second before, and Lexia flips the display table and crouches behind it while the customers scream and scatter. When the shooting stops,

Lexia peeks around the table and growls.

Claribel enters the building with a fresh drum in her gun, and her eyes are focused on the upturned table as she takes careful steps towards Lexia, her tongue flicking out and tasting the air.

“Lexia Hartwick let's not make this harder than it has to be,” says Claribel.

Claribel walks further in, and Lexia reaches for her knife sheathed on the back of her belt. Claribel's tongue flicks the air again as she continues her careful approach. Then she shots. The bullets tear apart the floor and table, and Lexia leaps away, jumps and dodges bullets, and when she reaches Claribel, she swipes at her.

Claribel blocks the knife with her rifle and continues to do so as Lexia continues slashing at her. What’s left of the crowd scatters, and Claribel whacks Lexia away.

Lexia rolls to her feet and throws the knife when Claribel fires. The knife goes in her shoulder and Claribel hisses in pain. Then Lexia charges her and rams her into the customer service counter, which is still being occupied by Mariana, who calmly moves to the side, still bored out of her mind, while the two females battle to the death.

Lexia attempts to punch Claribel, but her punch is deflected. Claribel slams Lexia on the counter and yanks out the knife in her shoulder. Then she lunges at Lexia and-

***

Jayson leaps and rolls while Mortimer launches jagged metal bits at him with swift flicks of his hand while his other hand holds his pole tight. The metal pieces are impaled in the walls and arcade games, and Jayson draws his cosmic-wood sword, becomes engulfed in a faint aura, and bats away a long, sharp piece of metal that slows down by a fraction when entering the space.

“I haven’t seen you in these parts before,” says Jayson after whacking away the last piece.

“Yeah, no shit. I just got here,” says Mortimer.

“So, who are you supposed to be?”

“I'm your dad sent from the future to the past to kill you in order to save the world!”

Jayson’s mind freezes. “... What?”

“Forget it. Mama Bear sent me to kill you.”

Mortimer extends his hand, his glove glows, and forks, butter knives and spoons rise in the air. Then he launches them at Jayson.

***

Back at the Samantha’s Spa, Lexia crashes through a door and rolls across the floor of a massage room. Claribel stomps after her, hissing and tail rattling. Lexia gets up and wipes blood from her face and grins.

“Okay... Playtime's over,” says Lexia.

Lexia charges and delivers swift punches and kicks, which are expertly blocked and countered by Claribel. And while Lexia is focused on trying to strike Claribel, Claribel uses her tail to grab Lexia's leg and throws her into the wall.

***

At Arty’s Arcade, Jayson uses his shoulder to push open a door and he stumbles inside with forks all over his bloody, scratched, and bruised body. He closes the door with his foot and winces as he pulls over a shelf to block the door.

Jayson stumbles away and pulls out the forks, growling painfully as each fork leaves small holes on his body. The door rumbles and rattles. Jayson looks behind him, and recoils when the door and shelf is blasted into the wall across the room. Broken brick and dust rolls through the air, and Mortimer strolls through the gaping hole.

“Jayson! Stop running! You're just wasting our time that way!” says Mortimer.

Jayson's eyes narrow and everything darkens as he goes to tunnel vision. He charges Mortimer, leaps and punches him in the ear. Mortimer stumbles, holding his ear and cursing up a storm. Jayon deals swift, hard blows to Mortimer and finishes with a kick that sends him rolling down the hall. Jayson growls, adjusts his grip on his cosmic wood sword, and approaches Mortimer. The world is dim around him and a white-eyed figure in the darkness watching him, slithering through the void for a better view of what is to come.

***

At the spa, Claribel holds Lexia up against the wall, using her tail. Lexia grunts and gags for air as her lungs burn and her eyes roll back. She kicks the air and tries to pry the tail off, but it is no use.

“What was that about playtime being over?” says Claribel.

Lexia lifts enough of Claribel’s tail to sink her teeth into it, and Claribel shrieks painfully and throws Lexia through the wall across the room. Lexia rolls across the floor, but quickly leaps back up. She staggers a bit before she gets her footing, and she giggles madly as she wipes her mouth.

“Alright, this is a bit tougher than I thought it would be. I’m going to need to change it up a bit,” says Lexia to herself.

Claribel climbs through the hole, and Lexia flips her off and runs down the hallway. Claribel gives chase while un-slinging her rifle, and Lexia looks over her shoulder and dives around a corner when Claribel shoots at her.

Lexia ducks into a storage room and seeks cover behind a rack full of scented oils and other spa products. A few seconds later, Claribel opens the door and cautiously enters with her rifle raised.

Claribel's tongue flicks as she scans the area for any sign of Lexia.

Meanwhile, Lexia silently creeps around the racks, a bottle of scented oil in her hand. When Claribel’s back is to her, she hurls the bottle at the snake and it smashes open against her back, staining her coat, hair, and hat in pink. Claribel hisses and shoots blindly at Lexia, destroying everything around her, filling the air with the intense scents of gunpowder, lotions and oils.

As the bullets fly, Lexia stays low and grabs the nearest shampoo bottle, unscrews it, and throws it as hard as she can at Claribel, hitting her shoulder.

Claribel staggers from the impact, Lexia takes advantage of this, charges and tackles her. The pair tumble violently, rolling over each other across the slick floor until they come to a stop with Lexia on top. In one smooth motion, Claribel draws her pistol and Lexia scrambles for control of it.

She uses her larger size and strength to manipulate Claribel’s aim. Shots ring out in rapid succession until the magazine is empty; then they grapple and wrestle some more, both cursing and screaming. Punches and kicks fly between them until Lexia finally manages to get behind Claribel and put her in a chokehold. She squeezes tight, slowly cutting off Claribel's breath until the snake's thrashing gradually fades away.

Lexia's heart races and she waits a few more seconds before she releases Claribel and scampers back. Then she uses the racks for support to help her stand and she staggers towards the door. But before she can make it out, her ears twitch from some stirring. She turns around and sees Claribel rising and grabbing her rifle with an icy stare.

Lexia's eyes dart around until they fall on a fire extinguisher nearby. She lunges for it as bullets whiz past her body and Lexia swings the extinguisher at Claribel with vicious yell. The impact of metal against bone thunders through the room and knocks Claribel off her feet. The snake slides across the floor and comes to a stop when hitting a rack, and Lexia sprints out the door, leaving Claribel limp on the ground.

***

The world is still dim around Jayson in the hallway of Arty’s Arcade, and the dark figure with white eyes still watches him, clinging to the ceiling with thin red bands on their wrists.

Jayson and Mortimer are engaged in a furious close-quarters combat, both using their skills in an attempt to gain an edge over the other. Jayson wields his cosmic wood sword with precision to parry, block and fend off Mortimer's violent strikes with his metal pole.

With each deflection of Jayson's weapon, Mortimer unleashes another relentless onslaught of fast swipes. But with both fighters being stuck in a perpetual stalemate, Mortimer extends his electromagnetic glove towards a nearby metal door. The glove hums, his battery pack glows, and sparks of power surround it as the door is ripped from its moorings, taking part of the wall with it. He yells out a war cry and slams the door into Jayson, sending him hurtling into the wall with a thunderous crash. The door falls to the ground with Jayson, leaving behind an imprint of the bunny’s body embedded in the plaster. Mortimer then approaches the battered form of Jayson and slowly unsheathes claws, staring down at him with pure annoyance pulsating in his eyes.

“Well then. It's been fun, but I gotta kill you, so... Yeah,” says Mortimer.

Jayson pushes himself up and wipes blood off his face.

“It's nothing personal. But a guy's gotta eat,” continues Mortimer.

Mortimer lunges, and Jayson grabs Mortimer and uses the momentum to slam him into the wall, and then he yells and throws Mortimer into the room that the door was yanked from. The room contains soda syrup and C02 canisters that lay neatly stacked. Mortimer pushes himself up from the floor, just to be kicked in the chest by Jayson. He hits the wall of soda syrup and the safety valves break, spraying him and his equipment with a cold, sticky mess.

Mortimer's gloves and battery pack spark, smoke, and dim, and Mortimer inspects himself, grimacing at his filthy situation. Then he looks at Jayson and offers a small smile.

“Huh... This is an interesting way to go. Kudos to you, bro,” says Mortimer.

Jayson runs up with his wooden sword, yells, and whacks Mortimer's head. Mortimer crumbles, and Jayson whacks him a few more times. When he is done, he is panting heavily, and bits of blood are on his sword.

Then Jayson stumbles back. The world brightens, showing the carnage of the fight, the specter disappears, and Jayson looks around, panting heavily. After that, he runs out of the room, leaving Mortimer to soak in blood and soda.