Two months later and Sparrow was still a tree.
And even worse than that - he was still an angry tree.
Firstly, there was the fact he hadn’t slept in two months. Trees never sleep - but they do have rest periods, bits of time when growth is slower. But Sparrow just couldn't tune out the scuttle of the beetle, which had since laid eggs, and had kids who had also laid eggs and were about to have a third generation of biting, scratching beetles. A bird had also built a nest in a fork in his branches. Sparrow had named the stupid thing Demon because of the unearthly scream the bird made every morning when the sun rose. Beneath the soil, worms and other slithering creatures gnawed at his roots, and pooped on him.
Secondly, there was the fact he didn’t seem to be growing and stronger or taller. The trees around him grew, their branches lengthened and reached higher into the canopy. But if anything Sparrow’s branches seemed to sag and lose leaves.
The ground didn’t seem to be doing anything for him.
But worst of all was the fact he still had these images of Maddie and Don in his mind. Everything they’d talked about, everything they’d done together melted into this weird nightmare that ended with her lying on the floor of her house, blood leaking out onto the floorboards. Then the dream would start over. And over. And over.
One day clouds began to grow on the horizon. Clouds were common. But these weren’t just any clouds, these were grey mega death clouds. The sort of clouds Sparrow had never seen before.
When it started to rain it was torrential. Like someone had teleported an entire ocean into the sky and just let it drop. The bugs in Sparrow’s trunk were ripped from their holes and drowned in the rising water. Ant colonies were swept away.
Next was the wind. Galeforce. It ripped through the trees like a knife, in front of Sparrow a tree was torn in half by a giant gust. Bits of bark smashed into Sparrow’s trunk. A branch somersaulted towards him and Sparrow tried to duck. But his trunk wouldn’t move.
The branch smashed into a few of his lower branches, ripping them from the trunk. Pain shot through Sparrow’s entire being and sap began to leak from the broken limbs.
He watched as an entire tree came crashing down beside him. Part of its trunk hit his branches and the little nest a bird had built there was obliterated.
And that was just the beginning. For three days the wind rocked Sparrow. It ripped and broke his roots until he had just a central taproot left clinging to the ground. One by one his branches were smashed into compost. When the wind finally calmed he was a barren tree. Not a single branch or pine needle dotted his scarred trunk.
As the sun rose over him Sparrow started to cry - not tears, but just that deep feeling of loss and awe at the power of nature that all creatures share.
And that was when he heard it - for the first time he heard the other trees sing.
Sparrow had heard the sounds before - creaking and groanings and whispers of air through branches, but he’d never understood them. He’d never understood the language of the trees. The reaching out to each other, and the appreciation of still being alive.
Through whispers of wind, Sparrow heard news from hundreds of kilometres away. The news passed from tree to tree, and valley to valley. It told stories of the storm and fires, and woodcutters and flash floods.
Sparrow listened in awe as the trees discussed their experiences. Their love of life. How hard they’d clung to the earth just to live another day and their sadness of the loss of those that had fallen.
Sparrow spent all day and all night just listening to the trees. The next day the sun came out and warmed his bark and he decided that maybe the forest life could work out.
Sparrow focussed all his energy on growing a single branch on the tip of his trunk. He’d been lucky - because he hadn’t been growing over the past few months he’d been smaller than most trees when the storm hit. All of the forest’s tall trees had been decimated.
By the end of his first day trying to grow a branch, he had a tiny little knob in his bark.
Wow, Sparrow thought, all that effort and energy for just a tiny knob.
The next day he pushed harder, he found he could control the flow of sap and water inside his body. Instead of focusing on healing the cuts in his bark, he decided to focus his energy on growing leaves. He had a clear patch of sky above him - and the more sun he could collect the faster he’d be able to grow.
By the end of three weeks, Sparrow had one small leafy branch sticking out from his trunk. When the sun shone on it Sparrow felt a small rush of energy enter his trunk.
Good. He thought, this is how I begin to grow.
Three weeks later and that branch was three times the size. He also had four little branches emerging from the trunk. A month later and he had a solid base of needles to channel the sunlight into energy. But by that point some of the trees around him had started to shoot upwards, shading Sparrow from the sun.
There was one conifer tree in particular. It had recovered from the winds faster than any other. It stood almost twice as tall as Sparrow and its branches stretched out - cutting off his sunlight.
Sparrow pushed his energy into growing upwards rather than outwards. It was a kind of battle - but a battle played much more slowly and elegantly than any Sparrow had fought in before. The Conifer tree was putting its energy into spreading outwards. Blocking the sunlight out from potential competitors, and stunting their growth.
Sparrow tried to force as much energy as he could into growing upwards. The hope was if he could catch up he’d be able to pull in more sunlight.
Eventually, the tip of Sparrow’s trunk pushed through the branch the conifer had put up in front of him. The sunlight above tasted glorious to Sparrow- and he was determined to push even further through, to claim more of the air above him.
But then a whisper came through the trees.
The dry is coming.
It was an almost music groan of branches twisting and leaves rustling. But for days it didn’t stop as the trees passed the message near and far.
The dry is coming.
And from somewhere within him Sparrow could sense it as well - the slight extra heat from the sun, the lack of moisture in the soil, the warmth of the wind.
Sparrow felt his roots. He’d neglected them in his battles with the conifer. His taproot was strong, but it didn’t go down very far. Sparrow took one last glance at the open air that the tip of his trunk had shot through and then began to push his energy into the roots.
He dug deep and wide. Through the burrows of worms and beetles and centipedes and through hard clay and scraps of metallic sand.
Above him the conifer tree shot upwards, cutting the amount of sunlight Sparrow received in half. Sparrow found he had less energy to grow downward with. The bird that had built its nest in Sparrow’s branches before the wind returned and pooped on his trunk.
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Sparrow decided to name it Hellbird - just because that’s where it belonged. In Hell.
Every morning the bird would give a loud cry as the sun rose, disturbing Sparrow from his semi-slumber.
Despite the lack of sun, and the hellbird’s distractions, Sparrow’s roots were growing strong. He’d reached the water table, and snaked his roots further and further into it. His roots also spread out wider, pulling in more nutrients and minerals from the ground around him. Sparrow felt himself growing stronger and stronger the more minerals he pulled in.
The days got longer and warmer, Hellbird had begun to build a new nest of twigs, mud and feathers in a fork in Sparrow’s branches.
The leaves of the trees around Sparrow began to grow brown and crisp under the hot sun. The trees went days, and then weeks without water.
The heat also brought bugs with it - thousands and thousands of tiny biting insects that laid their eggs in cracks in Sparrow’s bark. A week later, the eggs hatched and little wood grubs began to gnaw at Sparrow’s trunk.
The pain was intense and never went away.
Hellbird began pecking at Sparrow’s trunk. Not you too. Sparrow thought.
But then Hellbird came up with a beak full of wood grubs. The little bird chomped down on them with glee and Sparrow cheered for his former enemy.
Soon, the lack of sun stopped being a problem for Sparrow - in fact it was an asset. The sun was so intense it penetrated through the conifer’s branches and gave light to Sparrow. Because his branches were shaded, they lost less water and were a healthy green, while beside him the conifer’s leaves had started to wilt and die. Even its branches were looking sickly.
The conifer tried to dig its roots down to the water table, but because so many plants were sucking from it the water table dropped lower and lower and the conifer got weaker and weaker until it was a feeble tree with just a few low branches that had any leaves on them.
Sparrow, on the other hand, had more than enough light and water and was able to shoot his roots deeper and grow his trunk higher.
Hellbird disappeared for a few days, then came back with a female Hellbird. They settled in the nest together and cuddled up at night. They made Sparrow smile, but they also reminded him a little of Maddie.
A whisper in the trees and a giant patch of clouds let Sparrow know that a large rainstorm was coming. The land was bone dry, and dust, as well as crispy leaves, blew through the forest on warm winds.
Sparrow spent some of his precious energy growing a tiny branch above the Hellbirds’ little nest. He fanned his pine needles out to make a tiny umbrella. In return, the little birds worked extra hard at digging the bugs from his trunk.
The rains came and it came hard. The ground was so dry and hard that the water pooled on top, causing waves of water to wash the soil away from Sparrow’s roots. He laughed in the rain though, because it felt so good to finally feel some coolness.
Streams sprang to life and the water table grew higher. From then on the rains returned more regularly. The soil returned to life, and the bugs lessened.
Sparrow started to grow upwards once again. He was now part of the canopy - the tallest trees in the forest. He healed the places where branches had been broken, grew his roots further, and watched as Hellbird’s eggs hatched.
The eggs were small, blue and speckled. The little chicks inside had tiny bodies and large black eyes that stared in wonder at the world around them.
With fewer bugs eating at Sparrow, Hellbird and his partner flew to the forest floor, scratching up worms and centipedes that they dropped into their hungry chicks’ mouths.
Flowers blossomed in Sparrow’s leaves, and humming bees arrived to collect the pollen. Pinecones grew at the ends of his branches.
The baby birds grew feathers, then stood at the edge of the nest. Peering down at the ground below.
Go on Sparrow thought you’ll love it. You’ll love to fly.
One little brown Hellbird shuffled right to the last needle, took a deep breath, and then stepped forwards. The bird fell in a flash of brown and orange. It smashed through a patch of pine needles, then came to a stop on one of Sparrow’s lower branches.
Maybe not today little one, Sparrow thought.
But the tiny bird didn’t hear. It waddled over to the edge of the branch and threw itself off again. This time its wings arched and caught the rushing air, and the little bird sailed through the forest.
Sparrow felt himself crying as the rest of the tiny birds took flight. Hellbird cheep cheeped excitedly.
Sparrow’s pinecones fell to the ground, then dried, cracked open and spread their seed across the forest floor. The little baby Hellbirds flew every day.
Then one day, as tiny pine trees were beginning to shoot through the floor of pine needles, the Hellbirds left their nest.
One by one the babies - who were now almost as big as their mum and dad knocked their beaks against Sparrow’s trunk in farewell.
Then Hellbird and his wife stared at Sparrow’s trunk.
You’re going too, aren't you? Sparrow thought.
The little bird nodded.
Well take care, Sparrow thought, But go far. There’s so much to see out there.
The two little birds rubbed their beaks against Sparrow’s trunk, then turned, gazed out into the horizon, and flapped their wings.
Sparrow watched them disappear beyond the canopy with sadness and joy in his heart.
He was glad they were going on to other adventures, and new places. But he felt sad he couldn’t join them. He loved the forest. He loved the songs of the trees and the feel of the wind through his branches. But deep inside of him. In his very soul, he missed the road.
You seem happy. A voice said. It was a soft voice - but deep and rich like the earth.
Sparrow beamed, I am.
I’m glad, said the Forest God, this is my favourite part.
What do you mean?
This is the part where I get to reflect. Look back at who you were when you came into the forest, and look at you now. How you’ve changed Sparrow.
Sparrow felt his strong branches and his deep roots. He breathed in the pure air and he thought about who he had been.
I was lost. Angry.
And now?
Now I am… well… I just am… I’m me. I’m enjoying the feeling of the sun, and the dirt between my roots. The wind that blows through my branches.
Good. Sparrow could almost feel the Forest God smiling, Now it’s time for you to decide. Do you want to stay forever? Or go out into the world?
Sparrow loved the forest. He knew he’d been happier there than perhaps any other place in his life. But… but there was still so much he had to see, to experience.
I want to go. I want to walk the world once more.
The Forest God blew up a small gust of wind, and as he did Sparrow felt a jerk in his roots. They started to shrink. Around him, his pine needles started to fall. As the needles spun around him his branches shrunk. His trunk grew thinner and fell lower and lower and lower until he was lying on the ground with his feet sunk into the dirt.
Sparrow opened his eyes. Everything seemed so large. His movements were insanely fast, but ungraceful compared to a tree’s. Even the air seemed less pure.
A tear rolled down Sparrow’s cheek.
A falling pine needle swooped in and wiped it away.
If you ever need, you may come back. The Forest God said, You spent three years as a tree in this forest. These plants are your brothers now. The forest your home. You can journey a million mountains away and still be a part of the great forest.
Sparrow nodded, he stretched his fingers. Thank you. Thank you so much.
You are a guardian now Sparrow. A guardian of your family. Never forget that.
Sparrow nodded, ‘Any final…’ He frowned - it felt weird saying words out loud, ‘Any final advice?’
Don't wear shoes, The Forest God said, I know it is very common for you people. But don’t break your link to the earth unless you have to.
Then there was a rush of wind and Sparrow was left alone.