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Hit The Road, Jack!
Hit the Road, Jack! : Hit ‘Despicable!’

Hit the Road, Jack! : Hit ‘Despicable!’

- Say, that grenade… how many more do you have with you?

Max asked Lillian, who had just put her grenade back in her inventory.

- Uhm? Around five thousand, why??

There was a moment of silence as the cold wind licked everyone faces.

‘Five thousand?! Really?! Just how much chocolate did you eat?!!!’ - was roughly what Max, Yrwin and Raphael were thinking.

- Don’t look at me that way. I’m still growing up! Besides, young half-elves can choose any one elf racial skill they want, and I choose heightened taste! It tastes so good!

- Wait, shouldn’t your taste buds have become insensible after eating so many sweets? Also, shouldn’t you haven gotten fat?

- I won’t go fat! I can take care of myself! Besides, I just need the “connoisseur” skill from the “taster” skill tree to be able to keep them clean. Every bite is as if it were the very first ones! Delicious!

‘The “taster” skill… was that on the “chef” skill tree? But then, the “chef” skill tree was a derivative of the “cooking” base skill tree, soo… Just how many levels did she waste on this?!”

Yrwin was beginning to feel his liver hurting a bit.

- We have gone stray from the topic. What do you want the grenades for? - He reminded the group, which was happily chatting about the best grinding forms for getting the “calorie burner” skill - which would allow one to burn the fat on their bodies, and then their HP after that, in order to power up.

- So, if you keep eating sweets, you can get a permanent buff… oh, right, sorry. Do you know about the “easter failure event”?

- What about it? - Yrwin would, obviously, know about it. Something went wrong during the first easter event, and a huge bug gave the admins a lot of trouble. In the end everyone received compensations - even the ones who hadn’t been directly affected, like him.

Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

- Well, it turns out that if you detonate holly grenades in order to count from 10 to 1 and then detonate ten thousand of them at once, you can bug the game and disable the scaling damage. Everyone will suffer the same damage as if they were a level 100 player…

- Wait, that is what happened back then? Who would be stupid enough to make a countdown using grenades and then detonate ten thousand of them at once?! - Yrwin was baffled. A single ‘cute bunny’ set didn’t cost much. Around half a dollar in squeam money. But 10.000 of them… that was five grand! Just who would expend that much on that?!

- It was the Republics’ foundation, so…

‘Nevermind’ - Yrwin gave up. Were all players from the FarCry republic a bunch of crazy people?

- Anyway. We need ten thousand and fifty-five holly hand grenades, and we can level the whole city. At least I think this bug wasn’t corrected… the easter event had been over already.

- Unfortunately, Lillian only has about five thousand, we are still five thousand and fifty-five short… - Yrwin sighed. It was another lost chance.

- Actually… I have around a hundred - Raphael said so - … it’s nice to have a bit of chocolate to eat after your meals, you know…

Yrwin could barely believe.

- I have around two thousand left from that day… the king actually wanted to make a re-scaled version of the “foundation fireworks” this year, so I gathered it from people all around…

The team leader could only imagine the weird party in front of him, all of them wearing the ‘cute bunny’ set and joyously jumping around…

- A shame we can’t just produce another three thousand then.

- I can give some sets to you guys, but you have to give the chocolates back to me!

The ‘cute bunny’ set would replace all of their current gear and equipment with a cute bunny outfit and a carrot-shaped rod. It would be as sturdy as their armor and the rod would give the same damage as their equipped weapons. Ranged classes such as arches would receive carrot-shaped arrows and a cute bunny bow.

For Lillian to produce three thousand Holly Hand Grenades she would need to wear 3000 suits, and, with a 5 minutes cooldown between one and the other, that would take almost two weeks to be done.

But if the five of them were to do it, then the time needed would be reduced to a little bit under three days.

Five little bunnies on a cave. There are corpses all around and a pit full of heads.

‘IS THIS BRITTAIN OR SOMETHING?!’ - Yrwin screamed inside his head, but still took his portion of the ‘Cute Bunny’ suits.

Thankfully they had an auto-equip function, so he would be able to sleep with them.

Not so thankfully, he had to activate that function by chanting “Bunny bunny transform, make me cuuuute!”.

A manly tear left his eyes in disapproval of his actions.