LEMON
I thought things would be weird with Axel after our confrontation at the inn. I didn’t sleep much that night because I couldn’t get his words out of my head. At first, they made me anxious. After all the partying in high school and a few close run-ins with the law, I changed and focused on building a career. I never looked for a boyfriend or thought about anyone in that way, but somehow I got Axel’s attention.
For a small second there, I got angry with his words. His words were a borderline romantic confession! How dare he just do that out of nowhere?
That anger didn’t linger long before a warmth replaced it. I never realized he felt that way. I didn’t know Axel was thinking about me. I thought he was just a flirty guy, that it was his personality.
The following morning when I stepped outside, he was leaning against his car. He smiled and stood to his full height, waiting for me to join him. He walked with me to the inn, leaving me at the front door. The silence was comfortable, and then I was at work.
He came into the inn twice before lunch. At lunch, I asked if he was hungry, and then we ended up in my office eating together. He left after lunch, coming back later to wait in the sitting room until I was ready to leave. Then, he walked me home and waited until I was inside before he left himself.
And things continued similarly for the next couple of days. He would pick me up and drop me off from work. He would be at the inn throughout the day, sometimes for a few minutes and sometimes for hours. We usually had lunch or dinner together, and we didn’t talk a whole lot.
Every once in a while, I would sneak a glance at him and catch him smiling at me, usually an adoring look in his eyes. As the days went on, I realized he was right. I felt safer when he was around. I wasn’t on edge when the bell over the door rang, and I looked over to see him stepping through the front door. I was at ease with his sitting across the table from me; I looked forward to my walk to and from work because I was right by his side.
I even found myself looking for him. I would step out of my office, and my eyes would laser in on the guests in the sitting room. I wondered what he was doing when he wasn’t hanging around the inn. He was consuming my thoughts, and it was dangerous.
Whenever my mind strayed to the slim possibility of ever dating Axel, I reminded myself that he isn’t a human. He is a werewolf, and he has a mate somewhere out there. If I were to open my heart to him, she could show up one day, and he would completely forget about me. I could fall in love just to be left without a second thought. That wasn’t a pain I wanted to entertain.
I gathered my stuff and got ready to leave. I scooped up my phone and paused, looking at the screen. I was leaving early before lunch today; I needed to go to the grocery store, and there were a few things around the house I had been neglecting. Would Axel be mad if he came by and I wasn’t here? Would he want to go with me to run menial errands?
I sighed, shaking my head. This was very confusing. What were we even doing? He was just always there, but he didn’t have to be. He has a life; I have a life. I left my office and stopped at the front desk to double-check the to-do list I left for the staff.
The bell above the door rang, and on instinct, I looked. Axel was walking in, and I felt tiny butterflies in my stomach. He smiled at me, coming over to the counter.
“Why do you look like you’re leaving? It’s not even lunchtime yet?” he asked, leaning against the desk.
“Because I am leaving,” I told him. I tried to keep my voice even so I could judge his reaction.
“Oh, okay,” he said, standing up straight again. He looked at me expectantly.
I sucked in a breath. “You don’t have to come,” I told him. “I am just going to pick up groceries and head home to get some chores done.”
“Sounds fun,” he said, not wavering.
“Alright,” I said. “I can’t stop you.” I filed out from behind the desk and headed to the front door. Axel followed, grabbing the door to hold open as I got to it. I offered him a smile as I headed out the door.
As we walked the couple blocks over to the small grocery store in town, I felt a bit nervous. We had been spending time together but with no expectations so far. When would that change?
Axel grabbed the cart when we got to the store, giving me a big grin. “After you,” he said.Content rights belong to .
I tried to hide my warming cheeks and led the way inside. Axel followed me as I went through the aisles, grabbing some things to stock my fridge and pantry. I usually ate at least one meal at the inn every day and sometimes took home leftovers, so I didn’t have to cook at home much.
When we got over to the single checkout, Axel started unloading the basket before I could grab anything. “I can do it,” I said.
“I want to,” he said. The cashier gave us a mushy look, and my eyes went wide. I quickly pushed him out of the way and finished putting up the items. She kept looking between us as she slowly rang up all the groceries and bagged them.
She handed me the couple of bags once I was done paying and Axel immediately grabbed half of them from my hands. “Have a nice day,” he said sweetly to the girl as we turned to leave.
He led the way back outside and headed straight for my house. I followed, catching up to him. We walked quietly. I chewed on my l*p; should I invite him over for dinner? He did help me carry everything home, and he has been there, no questions asked, since those creeps came to the inn.
If he stayed over for dinner, maybe I could ask him about this whole mate thing and why he didn’t care. There was also the possibility that I misread what he said, and he was waiting for his mate. That would be so embarrassing.
“You’re gonna bite a hole through your l*p,” Axel said, jarring me out of my inner panic.
“What?” I asked.
“You’re biting your l*p. If you don’t stop that, your teeth will go right through,” he laughed. “What are you thinking so hard about?”
“Nothing,” I said quickly.
“I think you’re lying,” he said with a smirk.
I pursed my lips and looked away from him. I guess I could never know what was going on in his head if I didn’t talk to him. “Axel?” I asked softly.
“Yea, Lemon?” he responded. We were only a couple of houses away from mine now.
“Would you like to, uh, stay?” I asked. “I could make us some dinner here in a bit. Or maybe a late lunch?”
“Yes,” he said almost before I could finish speaking. When I looked back at him, he gave me the biggest smile.
When we got inside the house, Axel took the bags to the kitchen and unloaded everything onto the counter. I grabbed the groceries and put them away. We made quick work of the couple of bags.
“Uh, would you like something to drink?” I asked.
“I’m alright,” he said.
“I can start cooking something,” I said. “You can make yourself at home.” He moved over to the small dining table I had off to the side of my kitchen and sat down. I busied myself in the fridge, looking for something to cook. I pulled out some chicken breast, figuring it would probably be the easiest.
“You look really pretty today,” he said from his seat. I laughed.
“I dressed entirely casual today,” I said, looking down at my jeans and old graduation shirt.
He shrugged. “It suits you,” he said.
“Well, um, thanks,” I said. I grabbed the cutting board and got to work prepping the food. It was quiet for a few minutes before he decided to break the silence.
“Sorry if I made you nervous the other night,” he said. I looked over to see him scratching the back of his head. His shirt rode up on his stomach a bit, revealing just a peek of the muscles beneath.
I swallowed the dryness in my throat. “Oh, no, it’s fine,” I said.
“I hope everything is okay between us,” he said.
“Yea,” I told him. “Why wouldn’t it be?” I offered him a smile and got one right back. “So, I was wondering something.” I turned around, having a hard time looking at him while I asked.
“Sure, what’s up?” he said.
“Well,” I started. This was harder to say out loud than I imagined. “I was just wondering about your… mate….” My voice trailed off with the last word.
“Oh,” he said, letting out a breath. “Well, I never found her. I’m 25 now. I waited eight years now, and she still hasn’t come along. I guess I gave up on waiting.”
“But, your mate is like your true love, right?” I asked.
“That’s what they say. When I look at people like Liam and Azalea, I get it. But then I look at others, and I am not sure,” he said.
I bit my l*p. It felt like I was digging my own grave at this point. “What if you do find her?” I asked.
I snuck a glance at him, and he had a thoughtful look on his face. “I’m not sure,” he said. “But I don’t think its fair for me to patiently wait my whole life for someone who may never come along.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, confused now.
“I know that Azalea told you the basics, but not all wolves actually find their fated mates. We are taught to believe that everyone has a mate and when we find them, we form a bond without even trying. But some wolves never find their mates. Some go their whole lives waiting alone. We are pack creatures; we need companionship,” he explained.
“So you don’t think you’ll find her?” I asked.
He shrugged his shoulders. “I could, but it’s not promised that I will. And I am not going to wait to live my life for a possibility that might not happen.”
“That sounds a bit jaded,” I commented. “You have a built-in mechanism to tell you who is your perfect match supposedly, but you just don’t care?”
Axel sighed. “I do care. I would like to find my mate. Have you ever waited for someone for eight years? It’s a long time.”
“I have never waited for anyone,” I admitted. I wasn’t exactly the best girlfriend to the few guys I dated back in high school.
“Exactly. So I am going to choose to live my life. If I find someone I want to be with, I will be with them,” he said.
“But what about them? What if you fall in love with someone our way and then your mate comes along?” I stopped cooking now, turning my full attention to him.
“Is that what this is really about?” he asked with the shadow of a smile on his mouth. He stood from his chair and walked towards me. He stopped mere inches from me, so close I could feel his breath fanning my face. “Are you worried about a hypothetical girl or a real one falling in love with me?”
“I, uh, I don’t know,” I said, looking away from him.
His finger came under my chin, and he pushed it, so I was looking at him again. “If I choose to open my heart to someone other than my mate, I wouldn’t let anyone else come through and stop me. If I did find my mate, I would probably reject them.”
“Reject?” I asked, furrowing my eyebrows. Lea hadn’t mentioned that.
“It means she wouldn’t be my mate. I would be free of them,” he explained gently.
The slight smell of smoke wafted through the air, catching my attention. I jumped as Axel released his hold on my chin and stepped back. “No, no, no,” I said quickly, trying to flip the chicken in the pan that was beginning to burn.
LILY
Damien was worrying me. He spent a lot of time in the shower while I waited on our bed. My wolf was calmer now, but she couldn’t tell me what was wrong. I picked at our bedspread while I waited for Damien to finish. Finally, I heard the water stop.
A few minutes later, Damien emerged from the bathroom wearing just a pair of shorts. He looked tired, and I couldn’t tell what he was feeling. “What happened during training?” I asked.
He sighed. “Can we talk about this later?” he asked.
“No, we can’t,” I said. “Azeron had to help you up the stairs, and Liam had a look. Dai, what happened?”
He slumped down on the bed next to me and leaned forward, resting his arms on his legs. “I am just way more out of shape than I thought. I went too hard. It will be fine,” he said.
“You’re lying,” I said, shooting to my feet. “Goddess Damien, tell me what is going on? I couldn’t even link you!”
“Lily, please, calm down,” he begged, looking up at me.
“Not until you tell me whatever you are hiding from me!” I shouted.
“I will fix it, so it doesn’t matter,” he said.
“No, Damien. This isn’t you. You don’t keep things from me. What is it? Did you lose your wolf?” I demanded.
“No,” he said, looking away.
“Damien, tell me now!”
“I can’t connect with Cage. He is there, but I can’t talk to him,” he said quietly. “Liam and I shifted, and I lost all control. Cage took over, but Liam said he was feral. I was just in a void. I couldn’t hear or see. I didn’t know what was going on until Liam forced Cage to shift back.”
“Oh Goddess,” I gasped, covering my mouth. My mind went entirely blank; I thought he was fine after everything. Lea healed him.
“I just need time to figure out how to connect with Cage again,” he said. “I’ll fix it.”
I could feel tears in the corners of my eyes. No, this couldn’t be happening. Damien looked over at me. “Please don’t worry, Lily,” he asked softly.
“I will be back,” I said. I was on autopilot. She fixed him once, and she could do it again. I don’t know what she did, but something went wrong, and she had to put it right.
Azalea was sitting in her office, looking solemn when I barged right in. “Fix him,” I said with no preamble.
“Lily,” she started.
“Azalea, you have to fix him. He isn’t all the way better. Please, fix him,” I begged her.
“Lily, I’m not sure-”
“You did it once. You’re my best friend, and I know you can do it again!” I was almost shouting at her. She stood up, looking me in the eye.
“Lily, I don’t think I can. I don’t think it works that way,” she said softly. Her voice was shaky, and I could feel myself crumbling inside. Damien would never be okay without access to his wolf. His whole life was being a Beta.
“You woke him up. You brought him back to me. You can get his wolf, too. Please, just try,” I said, my voice cracking now. The door opened again behind me, and I felt Damien’s arms encircle me.
“I’m sorry, Lily,” Azalea whispered before Damien pulled me out of her office.