Whoever says that they are not scared of death, they are lying. Before this incident, I

used to say that I was not scared of death, but the incident that took place caused me to be

scared of dying.

I am a cave explorer, I explore caves around the world. I have entered many big and

small caves but have never been stuck. This is my first being stuck in the cave and I think it

will be my last.

I don't believe anyone will come to my aid since only my wife knows that I’m here. My

previous explorations lasted for two-three weeks, so my wife won't search for me for

three weeks, and only after two or three weeks she will start worrying.

I could have phoned my wife but this is a signal-proof cave. You might be thinking, my

friend might get worried about me and come to save me. Sadly, I don't have any friends or

loved ones. The only loved one I have is my beloved.

I used to have friends when I was in school. Innocence used to drive me during those

days so, it was easier for me to make friends. But, as I grew up my friend circles shrank

down and down to just a few people. All of the people started getting away from me like the

same poles magnet getting repealed from each other.

If I could have asked them, I would have asked them, why are you going my friends? But

it would be of no use as they won't reply. And don't need to be answered as deep

down I knew why.

I was a selfish kid, I only cared for myself. When I was in second grade, I had a best

friend. I used to be a brilliant student at that time, but he was not that brilliant. One day the

teacher checked our homework, I had done it but he hadn't, so, the teacher took him in front

of the class and punished him. Seeing that I felt ashamed of myself for being the best friend

of such a person. I broke my friendship with him, we never talked again.

After that, I became best friends with another boy. We both liked to sing. We used to be a

duo that the teacher asked to sing in front of the class. As our life coursed by, our bonding

became stronger. One day a singing competition was held, and we both took part in that

competition as a duo. I was singing well but his singing was crap at that time, so, we were

not selected.

Not getting selected filled me with grief. It created a kind of hate inside me against him.

But I didn't break my friendship with him instead he left the school after one year.

But as I grew up, most of my selfish traits dwindled. I became less and less selfish. And

then I met him. He became one of my good friends immediately after the meeting. He was

Nepali but studied in India. We became close friends. As the school years continued I got to

know that he did not have a mother or father. He was cared for by his grandparents.

He was a very innocent person. But, one incident changed his life. He shifted from his old

house. And in his new house, he made a new friend. After changing houses, he started

getting far and far from me. Not really far but there was a thick wall between us. Later I found

that he started taking cigarettes, marijuana and drugs.

He used to bunk school for months, and even if he came he either used to be sleeping or

used to be high. Most of the time we used to find him sleeping. If anyone tried to disturb him

he used to quarrel with him.

We were still friends, but not that close.

Up to that point, my friend circle had dwindled to just some people. I did have some

friends to hang out with but the close connection was missing. I used to call that friend

whenever I wanted to go out and he would come. But I never went when he called me. So, he

stopped visiting places with me. And then that incident happened which made me lose all my

friends.

2 days and as I assumed, no help has arrived yet. My back is hurting, my neck has dried,

and my stomach is growling. And I don't have anything to satisfy my needs.

As I was lying hopeless, a spider crawled up to me. It is a hairy, reddish-black, thick

spider with many feet. It just stayed near me as if looking at a sleeping patient. I used to fear

spiders a lot. I still fear it but, a spider is better than being alone.

“Hello buddy,” I said to the spider. He said nothing just kept on staring at me. “I am a

sane man. I just want someone to talk to. Being stuck here is kind of boring. There is a very

line between sanity and insanity, I know that. But, I just feel like talking to you.”

It said nothing just keep staring. “ Do you know buddy? There is a thing called memories.

You might not know what memories are so, let me explain them to you. Memories are

something that is inside your brain that keeps on reminding you of your deeds of the past. It

can be good or can be bad but it is what makes you, you.

Memories are something that you can latch on to when you are feeling low. It can make

you laugh, it can make you weep, it can tear you apart and it can join you like a heap.

Whatever it does, it will always be with you. As it is what makes you, you.”

“I see that you are liking my talks buddy as you have not moved from here. Let me tell

you about one of my memories. It was during my school trip it was about 8:30 pm. I, my 2

friends and the other 2 girls were in the last seat of the bus. One of the girls was the girl I

liked. All of them were sleeping, only I was awake.”

“I was looking at the scenery outside, but as the bus was moving at a fast pace I was not

able to see the scenery properly. Inside my friend played a cosy song on his Bluetooth

speaker. It was a very cosy song. Let me play it for you buddy.”

I picked up the mobile that was lying near me, battery meter read 15%. I went through my

Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation.

playlist and played the song name “Until I Found You.”

Georgia

Wrap me up in all your—

I want ya

In my arms, oh, let me

“Do you know what happened then? I was just looking outside at the sky. Then suddenly I

felt a weight on my shoulders, I turned my head to see what happened and saw that the girl I

like was resting her head on my shoulder. As I was seeing her, she turned her head a little

toward me and smiled at me.”

Three days and no help yet. I’m dying of hunger and thirst, The spider is still here. I don’t

know what it is doing here. But one thing is that I don't feel any kind of fear.

I heard somewhere that you will be scared of the things you don't know about, but when

you know about them you will start loving and caring for them. I don't fear, instead, I care for

it now.

“Buddy get out of here,” I said to him. “You do not have to accompany a looser like me.

I’m a selfish person buddy. I know that I will betray you. Deep down you know that too. I

don't want to see, you being my food ”

But he did not move. “As your wish buddy,” I said closing my eyes.

When I woke up from my sleep I barely had any energy left in me. My stomach groaned

continuously, it was rolling as if there was a creature inside who would come out if I did not give it

something to eat.

It was then my eyes fell on the spider. Buddy, I had warned you.

I stretched my hand toward it and slowly ran over its body. “It's the time buddy. You

became my support body. If I survived I will remember you. And if I die, I will be happy to be

born as your friend or your prey.”

I kept it in my right hand and brought it near me. Even though it was dark inside, I could see

tears in his eyes and a smile on his face. It's okay buddy. I felt as if he was talking to me.

I slowly took it close to my mouth and bit it. I can feel him running his legs inside my

mouth as if he was drowning. He ran his legs for some minutes and then stopped. I can feel

his slimy, blood coming inside my mouth. It feels as if I am drinking a cup full of mucus.

I slowly chewed his body and tried to swallow it. As my throat was dry, it was getting

difficult to swallow it. I can feel its hairs poking at my throat. If I had water I would have easily

swallowed it. But sadly there is no water. It was going down just too slow. I feel as if a hairy

snail is getting down my throat.

It's the fourth day, and thanks to my buddy I’m still living but, I don't think I will survive

another day. Diahorrea just attacked me. Whatever I have eaten all has come out. Nothing is

left inside me. All the water inside me has come out. All the food has come out. I fear that my

organs will come out with the stool.

On top of that, the smell of stool and pee has caused me a headache. The only thing I

can do to divert my mind from the stool is closing eyes and sleep. And luckily sleep comes to

me easily nowadays.

It was 1 month before my final exams. I still had some friends left. I told one of my friends

to tell my crush that I liked her. He did and she called me near the tree.

“Why did you send him?” she said. “Can't you tell that yourself?”

“I…I…” I said. “I just fear what you will say.”

“Man up kid and then come to confess your love. I thought you were a bit mature person.

But I’m disappointed. Grow up, kid.”

After hearing that I was stunned, and I was unable to for several minutes. And then one of

my friends help me to regain consciousness.

It had a deep impact on me. Even when I was on the bus. I was thinking about what she

said to me that day. It was just too difficult for me to digest. It was just then I met that

woman on the bus. She asked me what happened and I retold everything that happened on

that day.

Rape her. She said and got off the bus.

Rape her. These two words kept on roaming inside my head. I knew it was wrong. I knew

that I should not do it. But somewhere inside my heart, it felt right. That woman's voice was

so compelling that it felt right.

I tried too much to control myself but I concluded to rape her.

After I finished raping her I came to realize what I have done. Fear enveloped me from

deep inside. I had no idea what to do next.

When I turned back to look at her, I saw the emptiness in her eyes. There was nothing

but a vague reflection of nothingness. She had become a body without a soul.

Looking at her eyes I can feel mixed feelings of grief, sadness, fear and breakdown.

Looking at her I knew that she had mentally broken down. Looking at her I came to realize

that due to me she won't be able to return to her original self ever again. Due to me, she will

never smile again. Due to me, she will never cry again. She will just be a living dead.

And all of this was due to me.

I knew that I would be taken to the police if they found me. So, what I did was I ran to a

place far away where they would not find me. And I took her with me. She did not say anything,

she just kept on walking with me. Later on, I got to know that she had lost most of her ability

to think due to that incident. She was only able to make small decisions, that's all she could.

Due to that, I have been taking care of her without leaving her. But the money I had was

getting low and low. So, I started cave exploring. And Whenever I went to cave exploration I

would leave with a neighbourhood aunt.

I don't know what will happen to her now, I should have left her there, her parents would

have come and picked her up and taken better care of her.

She will probably die too, but she will die a better death than me. I know for sure.