1
Sometimes I feel like a paper boat, a boat made up of paper. A boat that
started from somewhere but had nowhere to go. It was moving somewhere, but the
place where it was moving was determined by the sea as it was being wheeled by
the sea. Sometimes whirling it left sometimes whirling it right sea took full control of
the voyage.
The boat lacked weight, it was too light. Being light was the reason for being
under the control of the sea. Sea was heavy and powerful compared to the boat, and
the powerful dominating the weaker was the law of nature.
If only it had some weight on it, the sea could not have total control of it.
Though he had to be in control of the sea even if it had weight, it could have little
freedom, it could have resisted some decisions made by the sea like the order to
turn left or right.
But having weight will do nothing good to it as it has no purpose. Its existence
lacked any resolutions. It was not made to solve any problems or create any
problems like any other things. Most of the other things had some kind of purpose
behind their creation. But it had no purpose for its existence. It was just made to stay
in water for some minutes and tear into pieces of that. Its existence had no other
meaning as it was made to be destroyed.
“Bro, mom is calling for dinner.” the writer's brother said standing at the door.
The writer got up from his desk, crumbled up the paper, and threw it in the dustbin
which was at the left corner of his room by his bookshelf.
“Why are you throwing it?” the brother asked.
“I didn't like what I wrote.”
“So, can take it.”
“You can, but just don't make a mess.”
The bro took that paper and strode into his room. In his room, he took out wax
and melted it, along with melting he was making a paper boat from that paper. He
had just read the 1st chapter of It from his brother's bookshelf and a desire to play
with a paper boat rose in him.
After the wax was melted he smeared the wax on both sides of the paper
boat. Carrying that boat he went to the road and left that boat on a small stream
created by the rainwater. Without stopping a single minute the boat floated on and
on. The boy got bored and he went home leaving that boat. The boat didn't stop and
went into a gutter.
2
Like any other day, I am here waiting for a bus. I don't like school buses as I
have to move according to the school buses timetable. I used to take the school bus
when I was in 6th standard during that time I had to get ready and be at the bus
station exactly at 7 am. Eating breakfast at 6 am, and lunch at 1 pm was hard for me.
That timetable got hectic for me so, after reaching 8th standard I left the school bus.
And now at 12th I am here waiting for a local bus. Traveling by a local bus is
not at all exciting but it is better than the school bus. We can at least follow our
timetable. Besides the timetable, we can also meet new people and different kinds of
people on local buses.
She was also one of the people I met on the local bus. I don't know her name
and don't know where she is from but I know that she is a weird person and she had
one grandma who died due to negligence of a hospital.
It was Monday and I was running late for school, on top of that there were
Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.
scarcely any buses on road. I hung there for 10 minutes and then a bus came. It was
a crowded bus and I usually don't take crowded buses but I was getting late so I took
that bus and she was there in the last seat, beside her was a balding man.
At Boudha that balding man got off and I got that seat. We asked a little bit
about each other and our conversation ended there. After that, I saw her every day
on the bus, I sat beside her and we used to talk about some random topics, but
every topic we talked about reached a certain ending. Every day the ending was the
same. That ending was related to her grandma's death and she starts crying.
Once we were talking about the new upcoming movie KGF 2 but after some
minutes the talk reached her grandma's death and she began crying.
“My Grandma got COVID 19 while she was in the village.” She said “We
brought her here to treat her and admitted her to a hospital. But, the doctors were so
scared of getting it that they didn't even see her they just kept her in a room. We
used to send her food but they never gave her that food on time. After some days of
keeping her there, she died and we got a phone call from the hospital.” she stopped
talking and started weeping.
She once said that she never had a close relationship with her grandma.
Other cousins of her were close to grandma but she was not. She said she didn't
even cry when her grandma but she was never able to explain why her chats
reaches her grandmother's death and why she cried after reaching that point.
Her chat didn't have a fixed set-out point but, had a fixed reaching point. It
was just rivers, starting from different mountains but joints in a sea. It might be
showing that she had some kind of purpose in her life. She had something that she
wanted to do in her life.
It was never the same for me. I had a set-out point, but I usually get lost
mid-way. I didn't have anything to achieve in my life, I was just moving ahead as my
mind told me to. I was studying, and working hard but for what I had no idea. I just
didn't have any load on me. Having a load may have resulted in some purpose in my
life, but the load was not there. Not having a load made me feel like I had a void
inside me. It used to be small when I was small but as I grew the void inside me
grew with me, consuming everything that was inside me making me an empty shell.
A shell that was floating traveling in a void like a paper boat floating in an ocean
which was ought to be destroyed.
There was a bus in front of me, as I got on the bus my eyes strolled around
searching for her, but she was not on the bus. I got to the seat where she used to
seat and sat there. Sitting there made me feel that she would not be here from now
on. The feeling just came from somewhere inside the void but I knew that it was true.
I can feel it. It was not that I like her, she used to fill small portions of the void inside
me. But now she was gone, lost somewhere inside my void. Filling the void absorbed
her inside that void, making her irretrievably lost.
3
The paper boat was in the sea. It somehow was able to reach the sea but, it
was near its end. Most of the parts were soaked, the pointed part was tattered, and
the streamlined structure was lost. The wax was somehow able to protect it. But it no
longer could protect it.
As it was near its end it reached land. In that land, a lady picked up that boat
and undid it. The ink was smeared all over the paper, making some letter, combined
it said thank you.
“You did a great job,” she said smiling and looking at the paper. “Even though
you were made to be destroyed.”
The End