Mouse wandered through the stables. On either side of him, horses snuffled, chomped hay, and wandered around their stables. He patted the nose of a particularly curious horse before it could nibble his hair and peered ahead. “Spar? Are you here?”

A stable boy blinked up at him from the next stall. “You lookin’ for the unicorn, miss?”

“Er… yes,” Mouse said. He glanced at the boy. Does he know Spar can talk, or do I look like a lunatic right now?

The boy stared back, poker-faced. “Sparklemuffin’s at the far end, in the big stall at the back.”

Mouse spluttered. “Sp… Sparklemuffin?”

Serious as ever, the boy nodded. “The unicorn, aye?”

“Ay… yes. Thank you.” Mouse swept down the aisle. His lips twitched, but he managed to keep a straight face as he walked away.

At the back of the stable, the wall between two stalls had been knocked down to create one larger stall. Overhead, a mangled sign, declared it as belonging to Spar in curly pink cursive. Tooth marks marred the splintered wood where the sign had snapped. Spar stood inside in horse form, leisurely chewing a mouthful of hay. At the sight of Mouse, he tossed his head, flicking long white bangs out of his eyes.

Leaning casually against the stall door, Mouse smiled. “How’s it going, Sparklemuffin?”

A wall of white rushed at him. He jumped back, yanking his head back, just in time to avoid Spar’s teeth as they clashed shut inches from his nose.

“Don’t ever call me that,” Spar growled.

“And you said I had the stupid name. Yours is equally impressive, don’t you think?”

“It should be illegal for young children to name animals,” Spar grumbled.

White light flashed. Unable to look away in time, Mouse was left blinking away the afterimages once more. Bipedal Spar stretched and let himself out of the stall. “So what’d you stop by for? Just to tease me?”

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

Mouse followed as Spar led him out of the stables and into the yard. “That was incidental to the visit. No, I had two reasons. First, to thank you for fetching the Mage-Emperor during that duel.”

Spar nodded. He plucked a clover flower from the grass, gave it an appraising look, and shoved it in his mouth. Stem bobbing on his lips, he spoke as he chewed. “Unicorns are sensitive to dark energy. I was taking a nap, but that nastyness woke me right up. Think nails on a chalkboard, but all over your skin. Pure yuck. I went straight to the big guy. I didn’t know you were there until I arrived.”

“Well, I appreciate it regardless.”

Spar gave him a glance. “A few apples wouldn’t be amiss.”

“I’ll find you some juicy ones,” Mouse promised.

They walked on in silence. Mouse’s skirt trailed over the wildflowers, collecting pollen. Spar plucked a few and played with them, occasionally popping one into his mouth. At last, he hooked an eyebrow at Mouse. “Second?”

“You fetched the Emperor. You know where his quarters are, correct?”

Spar gave Mouse a long look. “Should I ask?”

“He’s inviting all the princesses there, one at a time. I want to know what he’s doing before I get called.”

“I mean… it’s obvious, isn’t it?”

Mouse looked him in the eye. “Spar. Please.”

Spar sighed. “Alright, I’ll help you be a creepy voyeur. But just this once. And it wasn’t me, if anyone asks.”

--

Spar led him around the castle. Mouse cast him glances until Spar finally caved. “What?”

“Wouldn’t it be faster if I… er, if we rode?”

“I don’t want to be seen letting a woman ride me.”

Mouse gave him a look. “Why not?”

“I told you, I don’t like it.”

“You’re a unicorn.”

Spar sighed. “The princess owns me, technically. If I let any woman… or anyone who looks like a woman, ride me, she’ll want to ride me, and I don’t want her to ride me.”

“Why not?”

“Because she has sticky, nasty little grabby hands and makes my mane all dirty,” Spar grumbled.

“You know she’s an adult now, right?” Mouse peered at Spar from the corner of his eyes. “She’s the one that named you Sparklemuffin, isn’t she?”

Spar grunted.

He’s holding a grudge against an entire gender because one girl gave him a shitty name? “Remind me to never piss you off.”

“It was traumatizing,” Spar muttered defensively. He crossed his arms. “All the horses made fun of me. I spent my whole childhood being bulled because of her! Do you know how awful it is to be the noble unicorn, king of horses, and have no one take you seriously? Everyone laughs when I tell them my name, even the gimpy old donkey. And he was named Biscuit. Biscuit! Now that’s a dumb name. Why doesn’t anyone laugh at him?”

Warmly, Mouse patted him on the shoulder. “I understand.”

Spar batted him off. “Shut up.”