THEM – SNOWLESS CHRISTMAS

Tyson’s brows twitched lightly as he stared at Aya. She stood at the bathroom’s entrance, stark naked, currently holding a lighter in one of her hands and a pair of socks in another. One of the socks had a thumb-sized round hole where a toe was supposed to be, and even from nearly a meter away, Tyson could feel its stench.

“Oi, oi, drop the fucking lighter, woman!!” Tyson cried out. “If you want to throw them out, just throw them out!! No need to endanger the entire fucking building!!”

“I told you that the next time I see a fucking sock with a hole in it in the bathroom, I’ll set it on fire! Did you listen?! Hell no!” Aya replied in kind. “Do you know how much I hate myself right now?! It took me nearly five minutes – five whole minutes – to smell this stench!! It means I’m growing accustomed to it! Do we live in a fucking Jabba hut or a human dwelling, you damn bastard?!”

“Love the reference.” Tyson said casually.

“Thanks.” Aya replied in kind.

“Look, I’m sorry, okay? You know that my brilliant brain is too occupied---oi, oi, don’t!! Don’t fucking burn it you lunatic!!” Tyson cried out when he saw Aya bringing the lighter closer to the pair of socks. “What do you want me to do?! Go back in time and throw them out?!”

“Yeah.”

“Fuck you!!”

“No, fuck you!!”

“Fuck, now I really want to fuck you!! Can you just go and take a shower?! If you keep threatening me any longer, we’ll be late!” Tyson cried out as he tried his damn hardest to ignore the fact that she was completely naked.

“Humph, do you think I’ll let you go that easily?”

“You never let me go easily!! That’s literally the only thing you never do!!” Tyson cried, feeling injustice at its best.

“What do you mean I never let you off easy, you asshat?!” Aya cried right back, feeling the very same injustice herself. “Every Friday, I watch you walk into this damn apartment in your filthy shoes, then stammer over to the bed, and sleep without taking off anything!!”

“… aii, let’s just… let’s just stop…” Tyson said, feeling weak in his lungs. “Burn them, fucking burn them for all I care. Burn the entire complex down. You know what? Why stop there?! Let’s burn the entire fucking world and make it our bitch, what do you say?”

“How about I just burn you and call it quits?” Aya said, smirking lightly.

“Ai, go take a shower woman, you stink.” Tyson said as he suddenly sprinted out of the apartment.

“YOUR ANCESTORS STINK!!” Aya shouted from behind, but she still didn’t dare leave the apartment completely naked.

Outside, Tyson snickered lightly as he leaned over the fence and looked down onto the busy street. Even though it was Saturday noon, the city was as lively as ever. He took in a deep breath as he shivered slightly. Even though there was no snow in sight, it was still Christmas, late December. The temperatures have long since dropped below zero, and were it not for the fact that Emma and Jared asked them over for the dinner, Tyson wouldn’t even dream of leaving the warm apartment.

Thanks to Aya’s mom and his own parents, the two have somehow managed to shake up enough money to pay for heat. Both also agreed that being warm was more important than being full, so if they were to ever lack money again, they’d simply fast for a few months. A faint sound of footsteps shook Tyson out of his thoughts as he looked sideways. Approaching him was a familiar face; it was a man in his late twenties, with well-shaven face and a scholarly glasses. He wore the full winter equipment: thick coat, even thicker boots, scarf, hat and a pair of winter gloves. His name was Jeremy, and he moved into the complex a few weeks ago with his wife and kid after transferring over for work.

“You and the lady got into another fight?” the man asked, stopping next to Tyson and leaning against the fence as well.

“Aii, you know how she is,” Tyson said. “A beautiful rose… with thorns outnumbering the stars…”

“Ha ha, do you dare say that in her face?”

“Fuck off.” Tyson said. “Where are you off to? Don’t you usually throw yourself into the fireplace when it’s this cold?”

“Lina wants some milk. I gotta buy some milk.” Jeremy said simply. “Wanna come with?”

The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

“Ai, let’s go.” Tyson said as the two began descending the stairs. “How’s work?”

“I’m used to it by now,” Jeremy said, smiling lightly. “You?”

“Ah, don’t ask. This past week, I graded some mid-terms and posted the results. Lo and behold, ten pairs of parents came to me to say how brilliant their kids and how my grade didn’t reflect their actual knowledge.” Tyson complained.

“Eh? There are still idiots like that?”

“Hah, you don’t know the half of it,” Tyson said, chuckling bitterly. “Apparently, some have… khm… ‘helped’ our faculties. So I obviously should ‘help’ them out in return.”

“… tsk, tsk, what a disgrace,” Jeremy clicked his tongue, sighing lightly. “No wonder idiots keep popping up everywhere like mushrooms. What did you do?”

“Kept my job.” Tyson said casually.

“Good call.”

“Heh, my pride is worth less than a warm room.”

“Eh, your job is to teach them,” Jeremy said, shrugging his shoulders. “If their mommies and daddies think their kids brilliant geniuses, let them. You did your job.”

“Ha ha, you’re right, that’s exactly what Aya said,” Tyson laughed lightly, looking sideways. “But… I still feel bitter. Truth be told, I don’t care much for grades. They’re archaic way of measuring up someone’s knowledge. Knowledge doesn’t have a price, and some random number shouldn’t be attached to it. While I was grading papers, I was mainly going off the effort. Even then… ah…”

“Don’t let it bring you down,” Jeremy said, patting Tyson’s shoulder gently. “Just teach them properly. That’s all you gotta do.”

“… yeah…”

The two walked slowly to the nearby grocery store and returned, conversing while laughter would echo from time to time. Bidding goodbye to Jeremy, Tyson took a deep breath before entering the apartment. He soon discovered Aya sitting in the living room on the couch, drying her hair. She turned off the dryer and glared at him lightly before sighing.

“Where have you been?” she asked.

“Went with Jeremy to the grocery store.” Tyson said, sitting down next to her.

“What’s he up to?”

“Buying milk.”

“Isn’t his wife already a cow? What do they need milk for?”

“… god, you’re cruel.” Tyson said, sighing.

“What? You’ll tell me that I’m wrong?” Aya said, smirking.

“Fuck, even I’m not that thick-skinned.” Tyson cursed; indeed, whatever pretty words could one use, Jeremy’s wife was still rather… large. “Hurry up and dry your hair. You don’t wanna catch cold, do you?”

“… aii, I still remember how tender you were with me last time I caught it,” Aya said, sighing. “Somehow, I miss that feeling.”

“Are you trying to say I’m not tender with you?!”

“Of course you’re not! All you do is curse me! Half the women in the fucking complex are asking me when will we break up all the time!! Hey, I’ve got thick skin, but even I have my limits!” Aya complained.

“Just tell them we won’t be breaking up, what’s hard about that?”

“They don’t believe me!! Look at us, who would believe us?! We just keep yelling at each other all the freaking time!”

“And whose fault is that?!” Tyson cried out. “You always drag me down this spiral of insanity!! I swear, you know some weird magic!”

“Pu, if I knew magic, why the hell would I be dating you?! I’d find me some nice, hot piece of ass—I mean prince, and live life of grandeur!”

“Are you saying that I’m not a prince?! Humph, look at me! How am I not a prince?! Handsome, smart, charming… I’ve got it all!”

“You’ve got nothing, Tyson.” Aya said.

“… wow, that was terrible. Can that even be considered a reference?” Tyson asked.

“I know… I regretted it the moment I said it.” Aya said, sighing. “I don’t know, it sounded good in my head.”

“Everything seems good in that damn place.”

“You don’t.”

“Fuck, I’m pretty sure eighty percent of your brain is occupied by me already! Don’t try to lie to me, woman!” Tyson said.

“Huh, what do you mean eighty percent?! I’ll have you know that you’re still to reach even seventy-five percent, you bastard!”

“W-well, you’re still to reach seventy percent in mine! Ha? What now?! I win!”

“… win what?” Aya asked, tilting her head slightly in confusion.

“… uh, something?” Tyson spoke in the same tone, mimicking her action. “Whatever, the point is, I win.”

“Fine, fine, you win. Right, did you prepare the gift for the two?” Aya asked.

“… weren’t you supposed to prepare it?” Tyson asked right back.

“……..”

“…….”

“SHIT!!” two exclaimed in unison as they jumped onto their feet.

“You braindead moron!” Aya was the first one to speak. “I’ve been telling you for like a month to prepare something!! Are your ears closed up from all the wax you forget to clean?!”

“Who’s a braindead moron, you senile idiot?!” Tyson followed up immediately. “I kept telling you that you should choose it because you have better taste!! What do you mean wax in my ears?! Even if there ever was any, you’d eat it all up considering how much you chew on my damn ears for some reason!”

“… wait, what?! You don’t like when I play with your ears?!” Aya exclaimed, seemingly shocked.

“IT HURTS!! WHO ENJOYS THAT?!”

“… I do.”

“… fuck. Walked right into that one.” Tyson sighed. “Rewind, rewind. The key point is… we’ve got no present, right?”

“Right.”

“… uh, should we just play it cool and be shameless?” Tyson asked.

“Good idea. Do you think they’ll hate us?” Aya asked.

“Uh… they shouldn’t?”

“Do you want to risk it?”

“Do you?” Tyson asked.

“Why do you keep bouncing all my questions right back at me?”

“You’re the problem-solver in this family.” Tyson said casually.

“So you’re the trouble-maker then?” Aya asked, smirking.

“…aii, why do I keep setting you up?! You’re already ruthless even without it. What’s wrong with me?”

“Do we have any cookies or did you eat all of them already?” Aya asked.

“Hmm… I think there’s one more pack,” Tyson replied. “Let’s just wrap that up, throw in some coffee, and we can get some of your nail polish for Emma. You’ve got like twelve billion bottles of that shit.”

“Why don’t we instead take one of your ties for Jared? Ever since you started working, you’ve been buying at least two every month! What the hell do you plan on doing with them? Scaling the building?!”

“Oi, don’t touch my ties woman! They’re my lifeblood!”

“YOU WEAR ONLY TWO ALL THE DAMN TIME!!”

“So what?! You just keep using whatever shade of red suits you for your nails! You never touch any other color!!”

“UGH!”

“UGH right back!” the two glared at each other for a moment before sighing.

“How about we just take both?” the two spoke at practically the same time, looking up at each other and bursting out into soft laughter.

“Yeah, let’s just do that…” Tyson said, smiling.