I was a little girl again. I was wearing khaki overalls and a red t-shirt. My shoes were red sneakers with white toes.

My surroundings were like the table where I played the game with Emi’s tea kettle, but it was much bigger. The ceiling was not the wallpapered ceiling of a tea room, but dark clouds that swirled in the atmosphere overhead. A checkerboard floor spread out in front of me. Half of the checks were gray concrete and the other half were carpeted in dark green moss. Topiary trees lined the edges of the checkerboard world. In the distance, there was a fountain spraying water. A network of colorful tubes filled out the horizon but seemed very far away through the haze.

I took one step forward onto the moss check and my foot pressed the whole thing down. I caught myself after I’d soaked my foot. The green checks were floating in a square pool of water. I put my foot back on the cement square. That was when the green plant I had stepped on flipped over and showed me two black, gleaming eyes.

I jumped. What was it?

It had no mouth, no nose, no other features except for two black eyes. They were very expressive. It looked at me pleadingly, but I had no idea what it wanted.

“What is it?” I asked.

It didn't speak. It had no mouth. It hummed and pointed its eyes toward the fountain. I put my hand down and pet it. It felt like cold, wet fur, and it jiggled when I touched it. It looked at the fountain and hummed again.

Since I knew Salinger had written this book for children, I didn't think the thing would suddenly open a giant mouth with razors for teeth, so I bent to pick it up. It mushed itself into a ball and hopped in my hands. It was cold but more shocking than that was how heavy it was as it snuggled into my cupped hands.

I took a few steps toward the fountain. The moss creature was carrying so much water, it spilled from between my fingers. As the water seeped out, the droplets hit other green patches. More black eyes appeared. The one I held, didn't seem very happy about losing his water. He looked anxiously toward the fountain and squealed urgently.

I hurried there as fast as I could, but it wasn't easy. The cement squares had sharp edges and the square pools of water were deceptively deep. If I slipped, I would get hurt, and I was dripping water everywhere.

Finally, I dropped the moss ball into the fountain. Once in the water, he immediately went back to being a square and tucked one corner down. This gave him the shape of a stingray. He flipped his corners like fins and swam down into the underbelly of the fountain. A second later he was a middle cylinder. Turning himself back into a ball, his eyes looked excited.

What was I supposed to do?

That was when I got a better look at the colorful tubes all topped with funnels. It looked like the greatest, smallest, water slide park. The fountain had a set of controls for me to use, and I suddenly understood. All the little green moss monsters wanted to go for a ride on the slides. If I used the levers, I should be able to shoot them into the funnels. The moss ball was already in the cannon. I took the lever in my hand, aimed it, and pressed the button.

The moss ball shot through the barrel, but I had no idea how to aim it and he missed the funnel. For a moment I was horrified as to what would happen to my little friend, but he turned himself into a four-cornered parachute and landed in a pool.

It was a game, so I reached down by my feet and picked up the nearest clump of moss I could grab. I threw him into the fountain. He was obviously pleased about his selection and gave me a delighted little eye-squeeze before he dropped his corner and swam up the barrel.

I aimed better with him and got him into a yellow funnel. He traveled through the twists and turns of the yellow transparent pipe until he shot out the other end. He flew through the air doing little cartwheels before he landed in the pool.

I bent my knees to get another moss ball, when I saw that the space I had pulled the last ball from was full again. What was going on? I picked one from that same square and watched. It was filled because the moss square from the spot behind it jumped into it as soon as it was empty. Then another moss ball jumped into the one he vacated. It started a ripple effect that went all the way to the place where I started.

I started throwing the moss balls in the fountain at full speed. After I had shot about ten directly into funnels, I realized that if I won, then I might not be able to read the book again. I wasn't sure that was what I wanted, so instead, I shot them directly into the pool where the first moss ball landed. I didn't finish all of the waiting moss balls before I got kicked out of the book and found myself sitting next to Salinger in the hidden library.

“What did you think?” he asked eagerly when he saw I had returned.

“I liked it,” I said, betraying only a tenth of the enthusiasm I felt.

His face dropped.

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“I didn't beat it.”

He did a double-take. “What do you mean, you didn't beat it? Everyone beats it.”

“I didn't. Maybe then, I can read it again sometime.”

He smiled. “Anytime you like.”

“Thanks.” I got up and put the book into an empty spot beside one of Emi's books. “There. Thank you for giving us the pleasure of housing your work.”

“You sound like a publishing company letter. You know, the ones where they try to sound nice when they're rejecting you.”

“I always sound nice.” I carefully stepped out of the circle of trees and stood beside Salinger.

“Do you want to go for a walk?”

“Sure.”

That was the only correct answer because even though he told me that the ceremony where we added his book to our library was to be private, with only him and me, it was nothing of the kind. Outside the room, staring in, was my entire family. All the cousins my age were there, all their parents, June, and all the teachers at the school who were relatives. The only notable people who were not there were my mother and every single member of Salinger's family. It would have been beyond rude if I had turned him down when all he was suggesting was a loop around the school's property.

As Salinger guided me out of the library, I glanced over the group to see for myself how everyone was affected.

I noticed Pearl first. She had stars in her eyes and a brightness to her face I’d never seen before. She was like a light bulb that had never been turned on before. I knew what that illumination was powered by. Antony had asked Pearl to go to grad with him. She was delighted beyond comprehension. She thought I was her saving angel for refusing him and had been visiting my house regularly to do favors for me. She replanted my herb garden, brought me a shocking number of sapphire rose sprouts she had started from seeds, carded a fleece I particularly hated and made four trays of apple tarts, which mostly had to be put in the freezer. I was mostly surprised because I hadn’t thought she was useful before. She was also friendly, which she had never been before. She had taken me online and shown me a ball gown with black and white horizontal stripes. I cringed at the sight and then melted. I did want her to outgrow her stripes, but the dress was very pretty. If only she could look good in it! I remade my vow from getting her to grow out of stripes to getting her to dye her hair before the graduation ceremony. The color of nothing did not look good with black and white together.

Next to Pearl, a challenging stare came from the pointed white and black face of Fair Isle. She looked straight in my eyes and her expression read, “It is on!” She thought she needed to compete with me for Salinger? What a joke! She could have him. Her having him would have worked perfectly. Probably for him too, if he had any sense.

Intarsia looked delicately out of sorts. It made me wonder what kinds of hopes she had strung together for grad night. I needed to remind her that she had every right to try to win Salinger, and I wouldn’t stand in her way.

A little further behind, Clementine tugged on Salinger's elbow and made a 'call me' sign with her hand and Salinger nodded.

Antony stood near the exit. He didn't look at either one of us. I didn't blame him. I planned to talk to him later about what a star I thought he was for taking my advice and asking Pearl to be his date.

Outside, no one followed us.

I thought about the general murmuring amongst the family that would take place as soon as Salinger and I were out of earshot. It was already well known that Salinger had decided on me. I knew there was a lot of headbanging about it. Not head-scratching. It wasn’t confusing. It was infuriating. I did not spring from a distinguished branch of the family tree because of my mother and her non-presence. Before he arrived, the general opinion seemed to rule that Salinger ought to have chosen Intarsia or Fair Isle. Funny how a young man should do exactly what he wanted. Unheard of!

“Was that everything you hoped for?” I asked him as soon as I was certain no one was listening.

“Yes and no,” he said slowly. “Your family is everything I wanted. Everyone was impressed, but you don't seem impressed at all.”

I was merely annoyed that he managed to write a spell book and have it be included in our library before I did. I would have been more annoyed if he put it out when he was fifteen and said that he had no trouble writing it. Since I found him so annoying, it was a relief that he said his next spell book would only be for me. That meant he couldn’t receive any honors for it, because I would be the only person to read it. Even though I didn’t want to admit it, I did find the idea of that sacrifice almost worth being honored by.

“I’m not as bored as I seem,” I slowly confessed.

“Then you're fascinated?”

“No. I'm still bored,” I lied. “Are you sure you still want to pursue me? There are lots of other options if you've changed your mind.”

“I haven't.”

“If that’s what you want, then I've decided to give you a courting schedule. I will give you two dates a week for a month. One in the afternoon and one in the evening. If you should need to cancel for some reason, a text will suffice, but will not be replaced with another date.”

He was laughing.

“What's so funny?”

“Courting? Who does that any more? I'm--”

“On the verge of not being able to see me at all,” I finished sternly and he quieted down. “You're lucky I'm giving you this much. I already said that I have no plans for love or marriage in the future. I have my own plans. I'm doing this as a favor, so that after we part ways you will not be confused about who I am. Once you spend a significant amount of time with me, you’ll understand our deep incompatibility. You'll think well of me and I will think well of you because you will use our dates to convince me what a wonderful person you are.”

“What a wonderful person I am?” he repeated with a dangerous edge to his voice. “Veda, I'm not wonderful. I'm selfish. I want you because you are clearly the best, even if you have a serious snobbery problem, but I'm not convinced that isn't part of your charm. No. During those dates, I will make you change all your plans, so that not even one of them doesn't include me.”

My cheeks colored as I glared at him and then turned my attention to my phone. “I guess we'll see.”

We made a schedule with our faces turned toward our phones and our heads dangerously close to each other. I didn’t realize how close until I looked up and saw tiny flecks of light in his irises. It was like snow falling on sand.