Turns out holy land burns just like the rest. Probably better on account of all the dusty, old books and dusty, old men. We'd been here less than three hours and there wasn't an unlit building in sight. We didn't even bring soldiers or matches so I shuddered to think how Darryl lit those fires. But if it was anything like how he melted the clergy...
Eight puddles marked the eight priests foolish enough to try and stop Darryl when we walked through the gates. So much piss. I don't even know how he stored that much. I'm pretty sure it was magical at this point since he always had enough for another priest. Come to think of it...
"... Used to be an order of healers who helped the poor but over the last two centuries they've fallen to corruption and exploitative means, extorting large sums of money out of the sick for healing that used to be free." Dave was saying.
"While the socioeconomic and political ramifications of clerical corruption is fascinating, I have an even more fascinating question. Have you ever seen Darryl pee on anything except a priest?" I asked. Dave looked momentarily confused before his brow furrowed in thought.
"Now that you mention it, no. Except that one time he peed on your shield and you scolded him about it melting through to the servants quarters." He answered. Darryl's happy screeches echoed through the once holy city as he found more prey. The responding screams of terror were abruptly silenced.
"Oh, I remember that! Always treat your-" I started
"Staff with courtesy, kindness, and respect. They do so much for us." we finished together as Dave rolled his eyes with a smile on his lips. He always groaned when I went on about the value of treating our workforce well but I saw how he had to hide his smile every time.
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"Sorry again about torturing that noble. I just lost it when he made those suggestive comments about Brunhilda." I said.
"It's all in the past, Villy. Besides, he did kind of deserve it for that. Brunhilda is such a sweetheart." He responded.
A strange flapping sound alerted us to a winged intruder to our conversation. As it drew closer a golden luminosity burst forth from around it's gleaming silver armor. It alighted in front of us and slammed its ridiculously long golden spear down like toll of a bell. Towering over both of us, it flared its pure white wings as it spoke in a chiming voice.
"The avatar of Callov is here to purge your filth from this holy land. Submit to judgement." It proclaimed.
"Not impressed, mate. You compensating for something with that spear?" I asked it.
"It's a holy avatar, I doubt it even has genitalia" Dave mused. The being's face distorted in rage at the disrespect as it leveled its spear. I smiled in its face as the loudest happy screech I've ever heard Darryl make tore through the desecrated city. The being's perfect white face snapped to the direction of Darryl's call. Another screech from the opposite side of the city caused it to shift it's stance again.
"What in the Abyss is that?" The Avatar demanded.
"That's just Darryl" I answered simply.
A streak of darkness launched from one of the nearby buildings, slamming into the Avatar's chest before it could react. Obsidian claws dug through its armor as Darryl unhinged its jaws and clamped onto the Avatar's face while spraying a corrosive stream on its lower half. Darryl growled happily and tugged at the shrieking, panicked face of the Divine being. In less than a minute the Darryl had the Avatar's head rolling free on the ground and rasped the flesh from its skull with strange tendrils from its mouth.
"Who's a good little eldritch horror? You are, yes you are." I cooed as a scratched right behind his horns. He stopped rasping for a moment to growl appreciatively before resuming. Soft purrs rumbled from Darryl's belly as Dave joined me in scratching his favorite spot