“Uhhhhhhhhhhhh.”

I gave Bran a wide grin as I waved at him from outside his doorway. Beside me, Jamie did the same, though he wasn’t as enthused.

“Hey Bran,” I said.

“Muhhh.”

“A hello would be nice, Bran,” I said, enjoying this more than I probably should’ve, considering Bran looked like he was about to piss himself in fear. Actually, on second thought, I was enjoying the exact amount that was appropriate.

“Guh.”

“Hello,” Jamie said, giving Bran another shy wave.

“Bah?”

I couldn’t help it. The genuine fear in Bran’s face made me feel a bit mean for bringing Jamie over unannounced, but the stupid sounds he was making were too much. I burst out laughing, clutching at my stomach and crouching down to the ground.

“Lena?” Jamie said, though I could hear the hint of a laugh in his voice.

“Oh fuck you, Lena,” Bran said. Apparently sheer indignation was enough to snap him out of his fear.

I gave him a wide shit-eating grin, as I slowly caught my breath.

“Bran, this is Jamie. You’ve met before,” I said, gesturing to him.

“We have?” Jamie asked.

“You don’t remember?” I asked back. “You thought he was making me cry, and you almost made him piss himself? Ringing any bells?”

“Oh,” he said, wincing. “Sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it. It was hilarious in retrospect,” I said.

“Not that hilarious for me,” Bran grumbled. “Also, speaking of things that aren’t funny, what the fuck is going on right now?”

“I’m introducing Jamie to my friends,” I said. “Be honoured that you were the first.”

“Pretty bold to assume we’re still friends, you bitch,” he replied.

“See?” I said, turning to Jamie and gesturing at Bran, who still looked like he was somewhere in between wanting to kill me and wanting to run into his house and barring the door. “I have friends.”

“Your friends talk like that to you?” Jamie asked.

“Like what?”

“He just called you a bitch,” Jamie said, giving Bran a pointed glance. Bran only just seemed to remember that he was still there, and with Jamie’s attention on him again, he panicked.

“No, I didn’t,” he said, a little too quickly. “I respect my good friend Lena very much and would never disrespect her so callously.”

I laughed again, but it died down when I saw the conflicted grin on Jamie’s face. It was a strange expression, like he did find Bran’s reaction to him somewhat funny, but he felt guilty about it at the same time.

“Just a little bit of banter between friends. He’s not actually insulting me,” I said, patting Jamie on the shoulder. “And Bran, stop being so scared of Jamie. He’s a friendly guy once you get to know him.”

Bran nodded furiously. “Nice guy. Me too. I’m also friendly. And uninteresting and naive.”

I groaned and slapped my palm to my face.

“What’s he talking about, Lena?” Jamie asked.

“It’s an Otherworlder response thing,” I said. “Not really that important, but a good example of the other reason why we came here. Behold, an eighteen-year-old boy who’s also the stupidest person I know and also the future Sheriff of Plainswood. You still think you’re not allowed to be a fuck up?”

“A sheriff?” Jamie asked. “Like with a star badge and guns and stuff like that?”

“Woah. You guys can make stuff out of stars in your world?”

“Wait, he knows that we know he’s from another world?” Bran interrupted.

There was a brief moment of pause as Jamie glanced between me and Bran.

“Umm,” Jamie said, as he struggled to think of an answer. “Yes?”

“Yes to what, exactly?” I asked.

“Yes to your friend’s question,” Jamie said. “Not to the star thing. The badges are made out of metal, but they’re shaped like stars.”

“Oh,” I said. “Why are they shaped like stars?”

Jamie shrugged. “It was just a thing that Sheriffs had on Earth. I don’t know why.”

“Well, I don’t think I’ve ever seen the Sheriff wear a badge at all, though I guess it’s a bit pointless in a small village like ours. Everyone knows who the Sheriff is, so there’s no point in a uniform or anything. That’s why Bran gets to get away with dressing like a bum all the time.”

“Hey!” the boy in question shouted. “I’m right here!”

“Good then you can hear me. You should freshen up once in a while. Whenever you stand next to Polly, it looks like she’s a princess tending to a large mangy dog.”

“I’ll have you know, she likes my rugged charm. Plus, she said she likes the contrast. Makes her stand out even more or something.”

“I knew there was a reason why she would be dating someone like you. I was beginning to think she was half-blind or something.”

If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.

“At least I can get a girlfriend. How’s your love life been?”

I winced and, to his credit, Bran was quick to react to the fact that I didn’t snipe back at him immediately. He glanced up at Jamie, who I was pointedly doing my best to ignore, and gave him a shaky smile.

“Well, enough about that. Ryuji Nightblade, was it?” he said.

“Umm, no,” Jamie replied, sounding a little embarrassed. I spared a quick glance at him and was surprised to see him blushing. “My name’s Jamie.”

“Really?” Bran asked. “I swear you said your name was Ryuji back when you first came to Plainswood.”

“Can we please forget about that?” Jamie asked, almost pleading.

“Umm. Sure,” Bran said. All of the stutter and uncertainty had gone out of his voice by now and he was sounding more curious than afraid. Maybe our bantering had brought him back into a more comfortable mindset, but it was also possible that Jamie’s shyness had disarmed him somewhat. “So, are you guys going to go around visiting more people?”

“That was the plan,” I said. “Why? You’re that eager to see us gone?”

“No,” Bran said. “I want to come along, if that’s alright with you.”

I raised an eyebrow at him.

“Not that I mind, but why?” I asked.

Bran glanced between Jamie and me a few times before sighing.

“Because you’re terrifying,” he said. He held his hands up defensively before we had a chance to respond. “Our friends are going to get scared if you come over unannounced like you did with me. It might be nice to see a familiar face to assure them that they’re not going to get blown up or anything.”

“I’m not a familiar enough face?” I asked.

“You’re a Follower, Lena,” he replied. “Nobody knows what a Follower really does, but they always survive being close to Otherworlders for God knows how long. Your stakes are a little different than the rest of us.”

Before I could reply, Jamie spoke up.

“I’m not going to blow anyone up,” he said quietly.

Bran frowned and crossed his arms. “It might be stupidity talking, but I believe you. It’s the only reason why I haven’t pissed myself yet. That and the fact that I just went a few minutes ago. I know we didn’t talk much, but you feel different now. More human. But nobody else remembers what you acted like when you first came to our village. All they remember are the Goblins you killed in the town square.”

Jamie frowned at that. “I didn’t kill anyone. Those were Demons.”

Surprisingly, Bran nodded. “Yeah, we know. Mr. Mar-”

His words were cut off by a yelp of pain as he clutched at the side of his head. He whipped his head around a few times before he seemed to notice something. His eyes widened for a second before he looked back at Jamie, smiling and desperately trying to pretend like nothing had just happened.

Turning around, I noticed Marten leaning lazily against the wall of another house, just far enough that I probably wouldn’t have recognized him if it weren’t for the reflective sheen of his head. Jamie looked around too, but without knowing exactly what he was looking for, he didn’t seem to notice anything strange.

“You okay?” Jamie asked.

“Yup. Totally fine. Anyways,” Bran said, continuing the conversation with the subtlety of a hacksaw. “We realised that they were Demons after we dug up their graves and couldn’t find anything but black ash. But even with that, most people still don’t actually believe that they were Demons, and a lot of the rest don’t care either way. You were pretty brutal. It was hard to watch.”

Jamie frowned. “Sorry. I was working some stuff out.”

Bran raised his hands in an awkward surrender.

“Hey, as long as you don’t work some stuff out against me or the villagers.”

Jamie nodded. “I don’t plan to.”

“Then we’ll have no problems,” Bran said.

There was a long pause in the conversation, but before I could do anything, Jamie was actually the one to break it.

“Lena? I know you wanted to introduce me to all your friends, but could I make a request?”

I didn’t know what kind of request he would make, but his words were awkward and forcefully formal for it to be something benign.

“What is it?” I asked, a little afraid of what it would be.

“Can we put that off for a bit?” he asked. “I want to see the graves as soon as possible.”

I waited for him to continue, but after a long pause, it was clear that was all he wanted to say.

“Is that all?” I asked, just to make sure.

“Yeah…” he said. “Is that… okay?”

I glanced to the side where Marten was still standing. Though he wasn’t looking in my direction, I knew he was listening in on the conversation. If it wasn’t okay, I assumed that he would give me a signal of some kind.

When none came, I looked back at Jamie, who was just barely looking at me.

“Sure, that’s fine, Jamie,” I said. “We can go.”

Jamie smiled at me and gave me a nod of thanks.

I turned to Bran, who was looking at me strangely for some reason.

“I know it’s not what you expected,” I said. “But since you were gonna come along anyways, you mind guiding us to where you buried the Demons?”

He stayed silent for a few seconds, glancing between me and Jamie.

“Christ, Lena. What the hell did you do to the poor kid?”

I raised an eyebrow.

“Excuse me?”

“He acts like a newborn kitten around you. Listen Jamie. Best way to deal with her is either to ignore her or insult her back. You can’t let her walk all over you like this.”

“I didn’t do anything, you ass,” I said, punching Bran in the shoulder. “Just because you’re a rude barbarian doesn’t mean that other people can’t be quiet and polite. It’s just how he is.”

“Really?” Bran asked. He sounded annoyingly sceptical, like he genuinely believed that I’d done something to cow Jamie into politeness. But then again, maybe he did. No matter how docile Jamie acted, he was still an Otherworlder. It was hard to believe that someone with near infinite power could seem so timid and unconfident.

“Yeah,” Jamie said, scratching the back of his head. “I’m just kind of like this.”

Once again, Bran stared at Jamie in silence for a few more seconds.

“Okay, fine. But one last question,” he said. “But it might be a bit sensitive. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

“Umm, okay,” Jamie replied.

“And I’m sorry if this is rude in any way. I don’t really know Otherworlder customs, so I’m hoping I don’t offend you or anything. I’m just really curious about one thing.”

I raised an eyebrow, wondering what he possibly could want to ask. Jamie did the same, though he seemed a little more pensive than I was.

“I’ll try not to get offended,” he said. “I swear.”

Bran stared into Jamie’s eyes, as if searching for the truth in them. Whatever he saw, he seemed satisfied.

“Do you actually eat children if they don’t do their chores?”

Before I could smack my face in exasperation, I yelped in surprise as Jamie fell to the ground instantly, planting his face onto the floor with his legs bent crooked in the air.

“What the fuck?!” Bran and I shouted simultaneously.

Jamie groaned, though it was muffled from the fact that his face was planted directly onto the floor. “Goddamn anime character constitution,” he said.

Bran glanced at me, as if I had an explanation, but while I’d heard him reference the condition whenever he got his nosebleeds, this was a new behaviour to me too. I answered Bran’s unspoken question with a shrug.

Bran nodded and simply reached down to help Jamie up.

“What the hell was that about?” he asked.

Jamie let out a heavy sigh as he reached up to take Bran’s hand. “It’s a thing I have. Makes me do weird things. I didn’t realise face plants were included in that.”

“The hell’s a face plant?” Bran asked.

“It’s kind of like a facepalm,” Jamie said, with a sigh. “Except the floor is my palm.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah.”

Bran looked at me, but I didn’t have anything to add to the conversation. I shrugged.

“Sounds rough,” Bran said.

Jamie shrugged as well. “I don’t actually get hurt. It’s just annoying to get dust in my clothes every time.”

“Oh yeah, I guess you being an Otherworlder makes your face harder than the floor, huh?”

“I guess.”

Jamie glanced between Bran and me, waiting for either of us to say something. Thankfully, he seemed to realise that he’d effectively killed the conversation, and coughed awkwardly into his hand.

“I guess we should head to the graves? Please?”

“I guess so,” I said. “Lead the way, Bran?”

“Sure,” he said, walking forward, though he made sure not to walk far enough that he couldn’t keep an eye on Jamie. Instead of following the roads, he immediately veered off the streets and headed towards the forest.

Jamie and I followed him without question.

Another long silence sat between us, before Jamie spoke up once more.

“Wait, you guys have Jesus in your world too?”