Feeling like she was swimming through a sea of black, Kristin slowly came back to herself. She shook her head, blinking her eyes to get use to the light. Looking around she found herself sitting in the waiting room for her psychologist. The clock on the wall confirmed that it was 5 minutes till her appointment. At least she hoped it was the same day.
While jarring, this was not the first time she came to realise she was somewhere without remembering how she had gotten there. She had always put it down to being spacey as her mum had put it. She had always seemed to have a bad memory, especially for the things that happen around her.
Moving her legs she found her backpack by her feet. She lift it up and opened it. All her things for class that day were in there, another thing she didn't remember doing. Kristin pulled her phone from her pocket. Thumbing the device awake she found that there were a couple of messages from her uncle that had gone unanswered. She quickly unlocked her phone and typed out a quick message to reassure him.
Sam: Kristin are you ok?
Sam: You just left, I thought I was giving you a lift to uni?
Sam: Kristin, please let me know you are ok, I haven't head from you.
Me: Sorry, must have gotten sucked into class
Me: I didn't check my phone till now
Me: I'm ok, I just felt like getting out of the house
Me: I'm sorry I worried you
After hitting send, she heard her name called in a mild German accent. She looked up and standing there in the hallway leading back to the rooms was her psychologist, Sofia. Sofia was not a tall lady, with a slender build. She had stern features that were offset by kind, warm brown eyes. Her brown hair flowed down to around her shoulders. She dressed in a bohemian style that lead Kristin to think she wouldn't look out of place in the head shop.
Kristin picked up her bag and followed Sofia back into her consulting room. Choosing her usual seat, on the far end of the couch from Sofia's chair, she sat down. Kristin looked around the room, scanning the items on the small bookshelf and across the titles of the books. Everything seemed to be the same as the last time she had been in, only two weeks ago. This gave her some comfort, knowing that some things in her surrounding were constant made her confidant that more time had not passed.
"Welcome Kristin, I hope you've had a good day so far," opened Sofia after Kristin had completed her ritual observation of the room.
"I guess so yeah," replied Kristin noncommittally.
"You don't seem so sure about that," Sofia said, jotting something down in her notepad.
Kristin chewed the inside of her lip considering her next response. She remembered the last time she had opened up about some of her thoughts and feelings regarding her issues. She had told the psychiatrist her uncle had taken her to that sometimes she felt very different, that sometimes she had lots of energy and drive and at other times she felt really depressed. She had tried to describe how the different times were both her but not her. The psychiatrist had brushed this aside saying that it was clear she was being dramatic and labeled her as having Bi-polar Disorder. He prescribed her some medication, which Kristin grudgingly took. She didn't feel his description of the disorder matched up to her experience. The medications made her feel terrible and did nothing to change her experience.
Sofia on the other hand had not shown any of the same issues that psychiatrist had shown. She had been nothing but patient with Kristin, and as yet had not given her any labels. Perhaps this time things might be different. At this thought she heard another train of thought in her head give her some reassurance.
'You've got this dear, just be clear,' it said.
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"Umm to be honest I have no idea," Kristin admitted out loud, "I don't actually remember anything after this morning till I was just sitting in the waiting room before."
Sofia quickly made some more notes, "I see, that must be quite jarring. What is the last thing you remember?"
Kristin described her morning, up to the breaking of the glass. She described how after that it felt like she was falling backwards into a sea of blackness. She left out the voice she had heard for now. She felt that revealing she blacked out but somehow still went about her day was pushing the line of crazy she didn't want to add in hearing voices in her head to the mix.
For her part Sofia predominantly listened. She asked a few questions like if it had happened before and such, but was more intent on letting Kristin express herself. When she had finally finished, Sofia put her pen down and looked intently at Kristin.
"I'm going to be honest with you Kristin," she started, "I believe something more may be going on here. I am not one hundred percent certain and this will take time to explore. In the mean time I would like you to keep a journal. Keep a track of anything and everything you experience. Our clues may just be hidden in there."
She looked at the watch on her wrist, noting the time.
"However we are going to have to leave things there for today. Thank you for sharing your experiences today, and we will explore them more next time," Sofia said, closing her notebook.
"Uh sure, thanks," was all Kristin said in reply, standing and heading for the door.
She opened the door and then paused. Without turning around she said, "thank you for not calling me dramatic."
At that she opened the door fully and left quickly.
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Kristin arrived home and threw her bag on the couch. Falling back into the soft seating she grabbed the remote for the tv and switched it on. It didn't matter too much to her at that point what was on, just that something filled the void.
As she lay her head back she became aware of a strange sensation in her head. It felt like her head was full, like there was herself there but also someone else. It wasn't the first time her head felt fuzzy like this, however it was the first time there had clearly been some other presence.
'You did great earlier,' the same voice as before said.
'Who are you? What are you? Am I possessed?' asked Kristin.
'Whoa slow down there,' the voice said. Kristin got the distinct sense that it chuckled. 'I'm Jenny, I've been with you for a while. You aren't possessed, at least I don't think so. I just am here and I just want the best for us. And before you think of it, you aren't imagining this.'
Kristin wasn't sure what to make of this. On the one hand there was no denying the voice that thought in her head. It came through loud and clear, and completely without her input. On the other hand this just sounded totally insane, having another person in her head? That was the kind of thing you heard about in movies. Also one of them was usually an axe wielding murderer or something.
'Are you going to take over and go around killing people?' she thought.
'No spud, there is no one like that,' the voice that called itself Jenny replied.
Had she heard that right? No one had called her that since, well since her mother had passed four years ago. And then it dawned on her. Her mother's name was Jennifer, although most people tended to call her Jen. However the happiest Kristin could remember her mum she had just been called Jenny.
This couldn't be real. To have a voice in her head that said things like her dead mother, using her name was just too weird. And so Kristin pulled out her headphones and jammed them in her ears. She always found the music helped to block out some of the extra noise that was always floating around in her head. Maybe it could also block out this imposter.
Some time later, Kristin felt a hand rest upon her head. The sudden touch almost made Kristin jump out of her skin. Instead she jumped out of the seat and stumbled against the coffee table. A hand wrapped around her wrist, preventing her from falling across the table.
For the second time in a day she felt herself falling back into herself. However unlike the sea of blackness she had been thrown into last time, this time she the sea was illuminated. She saw a screen much like one of the old drive-in movie theatres. On that screen however, instead of a movie, there was her living room. It was like she was watching herself in the third person. In front of the screen she saw a figure sitting down wearing some kind of helmet, like one for a motorcycle, except the lower front half was missing revealing the mouth of the person underneath.
Watching the screen she saw her free hand reach across and grab the hand that held her wrist, twisting it free. The view spun around and she saw her uncle step back as she rose her hand clenched into a fist.
"Whoa, I'm sorry Kris, I forgot," her uncle said defensively.
"I've told you not to call me that," Kristin heard herself say with a voice that was both hers and not at the same time.
As the voice from the screen spoke the words she saw the mouth of the helmet wearer move in tandem. She guessed that this person must somehow be in control of her body. Piloting her around like some kind of human mecha. This was too weird for her, and as she saw herself pick up her bag and leave the house, she felt herself fall further back and the black sea took over once again.