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Help! Evil Wizards Turned Me Into A Girl!
47. Help! My Plans Are Clever!

47. Help! My Plans Are Clever!

A blue butterfly landed on the windowsill and fluttered its wings amidst the morning sun, which woke Josh with a gentle warming light. He sat up from his mat, yawned with arms outstretched, scratched his back, and saw the butterfly fly away as he threw aside the covers. He didn’t have to put on his clothes, as he had worn them to bed, so he quickly slipped on his sneakers before leaving the room. The smell of baked fish wafted through the simple stone hallway and guided him to the bar. No one tended the counter, but the sizzling of an oven fire complimented the aroma. He wondered where Nadia had gone so early when he heard someone speaking instructively, and then the soft pitch of Nadia’s voice replying.

Fish were grilling, baking, and boiling as Nadia rolled batter dipped meat into bread crumbs under the instructions of Swabert, who pressed his mustache while watching. When she saw Josh, she went to wipe her batter drenched hands on the light brown kimono that had been provided for her, but Swabert swiftly caught her wrist before providing a damp cloth.

“I won’t have you ruining your clothes. You need to look your best at all times for the customers. Use a towel and keep your hands clean.”

A circular patch composed of dark brown and white halves with characters that represented the name of the inn featured prominently on the right side of the gown’s chest. The letters displayed boldly because they were the opposite shade of their background. Nadia’s hair held firm, tucked into four tailed buns at the back of her head and neck. The longest tails fell over her chest, while the two from her neck hung behind her. Every move caused them to swing delicately. A smile formed when she saw Josh.

“Morning sleepy head. What do you think? Do I make a great hostess or what? Sit down, I’ll bring you some breakfast.”

“Okay?”

He returned to the bar and sat down with a blank stare until Nadia sat a tray of food before him. A fluffy mass of scrambled egg and a poached fish rested on a plate with parsley garnish. A bowl of thin lukewarm oatmeal sat next to the dish. She smiled warmly.

“Here you go sir, please enjoy,”

“Did you make this yourself?” Josh asked.

“The more I do, the more credit we’ll earn. All I have to do is assist Swabert, and provide service with a smile. Try the oatmeal.”

He picked up the bowl and took a sip, “Not bad if you like oatmeal shakes.”

“Try the whipped egg. It’s my own recipe.”

He ate a spoonful, then another. It was surprisingly sweet.

“It doesn’t taste like an egg, more like a whipped sweet cake. What did you do to it?”

“Did you taste the hint of vanilla?”

“Vanilla? In eggs? Vanilla eggs?”

“You like it. Admit it, I’m a natural.”

“Are you sure you want to do this? Don’t you have this thing against getting in touch with your feminine side?”

Josh took another bite of fluffed egg.

She smiled, “First of all, who said cooking was either feminine or masculine? You've been in this world too long. Second, I don’t mind one bit because it’s all part of my master plan. Wait and see. One way or another we’ll have our trip across the ocean before the week is out.”

She pulled a brush and a bucket of soapy water from beneath the counter.

“By the way, I hope you didn’t forget that you’re working for Nostrum too. When you’re done eating, you should scrub the floor, and don’t forget the hall. And in the afternoon, you’re going to help transport the daily catch. While you’re at it, you can scout for other ways we can earn money to get to Tramen.”

You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

Josh looked at the bucket, resisting the urge to tip it over, “And since when have I become a cleaning boy?”

Eyes narrowed and cheeks turned red as she stared.

“I’ll do it. I’m really not in the mood to pick a fight.”

At that moment two men entered the inn. Nadia’s attitude instantly changed. She bowed toward them, smiling graciously.

“Welcome to the Swimming Shark! What can I get for you?”

After finishing his meal, Josh took his bucket, pretended to vomit in it, and found an appropriate corner to start cleaning from.

-----

Nadia waited on an entirely filled tavern by herself and kept a brilliant pace to entertain the patrons. By balancing several dishes over her arms and sliding them onto the tables she inspired cheers from the fishermen. A short man stood atop a table playing a flute. Those around him banged the table and stomped the floor in sperate rhythms. The skirt of her kimono was pinned above her ankles to keep her from tripping, but it became a catch for tethers of leather, copper, and bronze, even a few silver. Nadia hastened to catch them with quick moves.

At dusk, Josh returned from his work unloading the fishing boats. His clothes were soaked, his wet shirt clung over his back. He took a seat at the bar and wondered how the others had energy to celebrate as he leaned over it. He watched Nadia go in and out from the kitchen, many times with as many as seven plates across her arms, and her robes as clean as they had been in the morning. She seemed to be going strong. Though her hair looked a little frazzled and somewhat out of place, and darkness grew under her eyes. Josh pulled her back to him by the shoulder while she balanced two wooden pans of dirty dishes. She told him to wait at the counter, delivered some more food, caught some more tips, and finally returned to talk with him.

“Don’t you think you’re over doing it a bit?” he asked.

“Didn’t you do anything useful?”

“I’ve been too busy hauling fish to do anything useful. Though the fishing boats seem good.”

“I figured as much from you.”

At a table nearby, two men struck up a conversation about Lord Nostrum’s wife. Nadia left Josh abruptly to investigate under the pretext of collecting dirty dishes. She leaned into the conversation.

“Lord Nostrum has a wife?”

“You’re the hostess and you haven’t heard?”

“No, I thought he was single.”

“He may be soon enough love. Mardela has the green mushroom poison. It won’t be long now.”

“They always say that,” said another. “She’s been going sick for two years now, but the healer keeps her from dying.”

“What’s green mushroom poison?”

“She was bitten by one of them green mushrooms. Once the wound gets infected there’s nothing anybody can do. A real sad state of affairs. I don’t know how the lord keeps his spirits up sometimes.”

“The mushroom bit her?”

“Has you got a hearing problem. That’s what I said.”

“Well... that’s just awful. Can’t anything heal her?”

“No hope of that. Even the healer from the twin cities failed. It’s that bad. He keeps her alive longer, but it’s all in vain I think.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

She collected the last of their dishes.

-----

Late in the evening, after the inn was emptied, they began to clean. When all the dishes were washed and the inn had been thoroughly scrubbed, Nadia and Josh returned to their room. Swabert met them at the door. He handed Nadia the duffel bag that had hung from their bike. Yet she acted like she barely had energy to take it.

“Miss Mavenslick, the Lord Nostrum is returning all the possessions you purchased with your tip money. I must say you liven things up around here, and the men appreciate it. They may even bring their wives to see you perform.”

“Thank you Swabert. That’s good to hear.”

Josh smirked as he retrieved his tooth brush from the bag, “Yah, thanks a bunch.”

“You’re welcome, sir. Good night to you.”

“That was your big plan, use your tips to get our stuff back?”

“I put a substantial down payment on my boat as well. But I have another plan.”

Josh looked away as she undid her robe; her street clothes were underneath it. She laughed briefly at Josh’s embarrassment. A hook hung over one of the belt loops of her jeans that had a coiled rope around it.

“You actually think I would undress in front of you?”

She crawled through the window to sneak outside. Josh grabbed her by the ankle.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“Lord Nostrum’s estate isn’t far to the east. Don’t you think if I managed to help his wife he’d be grateful? In any case, it wouldn’t hurt to try.”

“Any reason for being sneaky?”

“I heard he hasn’t been open to house guests, and is suspicious of people who make big claims. That’s why I don’t think it would be wise to suggest it to him personally.”

“This is so stupid. It’ll never work. And we need rest. Why don’t you just talk with the big guy later. You can even demonstrate your powers. So, give it a rest for now.”

“Then I guess you aren’t coming. Bye.”

She shook his hand off her ankle, jumped out the window, and ran off through the meadow. Josh pushed himself out the window and raced to catch up.