The other girls all looked at her. It was all too obvious that something was wrong. Nadia had just made it rather painfully obvious.

“I thought maybe Darrell did something to offend you,” Tish said, “He hasn’t taken his eyes off of you the entire day. I think he likes you.”

Amanda flipped to the next page of her book, merely nodding her head slightly in agreement. She seemed to have no care for this conversation.

“Actually, I haven’t seen one boy here who wasn’t checking her out at one time or another,” Jody said, “But what would you expect from Nathan’s cousin.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“She means you have his natural charisma with the opposite sex,” Amanda explained without looking up from her book, “You’re a vixen and you don’t even know it.”

“What! Oh please, I mean, come on, I’m just the same as the next... girl. Look, I’m not trying to get attention and I’m not a vixen!”

Tish folded her arms around her chest, “It just comes natural for you, I bet if you really worked on your flirting technique you’d have every boy drooling at your feet. You are a dangerous girl, Nadia. But don’t worry, I won’t hold it against you because I’m not really the jealous type. In fact, it was my idea to bring out your full potential from the start. Stick with us, and you’ll be one of the most popular girls in school.”

“Why would you want to do that?” Nadia nibbled at her hotdog.

Tish blushed a little, “Well, you kind of astonished me when I first met you. You were so timid about your looks and dressed so frumpy in your cousin’s clothes, yet you had an aura about you that just shone through. I just kind of wanted to see you have fun, like you did tonight.”

“We don’t know you that well, we only just met, but we all agree, we’d like you to hang out with us more,” Jody said.

Amanda closed her book, smiled, “I’d like that, so far you’ve been a fun person to be around.”

The tears coalesced in Nadia’s eyes to the point where she had to wipe them to prevent a stream down her cheek, she couldn’t understand how her emotions had become so unstable, wasn’t she livid with Darrell taking over in Nathan’s absence just minutes ago?

“I’m sorry, I... what can I say... I really like you guys, of course I’d want to be friends.”

“Then that settles it,” Jody said, “There’s one thing I want to know, how do you really feel about the Darrell Fleming? Do you like him? Hate him? Tell the truth. I can get you out of your bet if you really need it.”

Nadia scowled, she couldn’t believe it was back to this again, “First, why don’t you tell me how you feel about my cousin, the truth.”

Suddenly Jody was the one looking down, whispering, “That’s not the kind of thing you ask at a place like this.”

“And the same goes for your questions.”

The conversation shifted to lighter topics. Nadia wanted to get her regular clothes on before the birthday cake was brought out and did so. Everyone enjoyed some very rich chocolate cake with yellow cream icing. Those who still wanted to swim took a second dip in the pool. Nadia took her cake and sat on a bench; Jody joined her.

“So, where did you go to school?” Jody asked.

“I went to a one room school house. My parents don’t get out much and we live on a little farm in the middle of nowhere. It’s a completely boring and listless life unless you really like soybeans and cattle.”

“Wow, hard to believe you’re a farm girl, were your parents strict?”

Nadia leaned back a little, she felt horrible having to lie so much, “I worked from sun up to sundown, being with uncle Norman is like a vacation. I’m sure Nathan is training his butt off. They train in the martial arts too.”

“You said he has a lot to deal with?”

“Yah, I did, but I can’t talk about it. Are your parents strict?”

“No more than normal, I have chores and stuff, and since I’m an only child I have to mow the lawn. My mom is really cool; we do a lot of shopping and stuff together. My Dad works for Fabtech in Pittsburg and is rarely ever home, but when he is, he makes it a point to spend quality time with us even though he just really wants to go play golf. I guess I’m really lucky as far as families go.”

“Right, both your parents are alive, and your mom is actually glad to have you.”

“Hmm?” Jody asked.

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“Oh nothing, I had someone else in mind when I said that.”

“You really care about your cousin, don’t you. That’s why you came here for him. I know Nathan pretty well, but when it came to his mother, he never opened up to any one at all. After she died, he never even mentioned her name, not once, except maybe to his dad. I don't really know. It was kind of funny, because when we were kids, he was always scheming to get her attention. Did you have the same impression I did, that his mom treated him a little coldly.”

Nadia stood up and smiled the fakest smile ever in her existence of smiles but it was all she could manage, “I have to go now, been a long day and I need a nap.”

Jody forced a polite smile back, “No problem, if you get in touch with your cousin, please don’t tell him what I said. Just tell him I said hi and I’m worried about him, okay.”

"I'll be sure to tell him. I'm sure it'll make him happy."

Nadia grabbed her little bag of articles and waved goodbye to the other girls. On the way out, Darrel’s voice startled her.

“Leaving?” he asked.

“Hey, don’t sneak up on me like that,” Nadia said, turning around.

He stood directly behind her and she found herself staring up into his face, both their cheeks immediately flushing. He took her hand and she had to brace herself to keep from trembling as a silver loop with white and red feathers hanging from it found a place in her palm. She examined it with some confusion.

“What’s this?”

“It something Native American tribes use. It’s not a replica either, that’s a few hundred years old, pretty valuable, supposed to filter evil spirits from your dreams,” he said with a flair for the dramatic, “I want you to have it.”

“Really, I don’t-”

“I insist. Consider it my personal thanks for challenging me. I never met anyone like you before, umm, this is crazy because I couldn’t possibly deserve it, but I would really like to go out with you, on a real date, if that’s okay.”

Nadia dropped the dream catcher at his feet and ran away without looking back.

-----

It was a long walk home. Her father met her in the driveway. Nadia wondered if he knew something, or if he just enjoyed the nice weather.

“Did you get to swim?”

“I did. But, apparently, it’s not just Dew. I’m a boy magnet.”

“Did you flirt back?”

“No way! I just walked around in that swimsuit Jody gave me. Just a normal bikini for swimming. But really. But I don’t want to talk about it. Nothing happened. It was just a fun party.”

“Just a normal bikini for swimming?”

Norman examined his daughter; she had a slight glow in her eye.

“You like someone?”

Suddenly she realized she was blushing again.

“I don’t know. I don’t want to talk about it. It’s my business who I like or don’t like anyway. It’s not like I’m going to do anything crazy. I can sort it out on my own. But thank you for keeping Dew out of my hair.”

“You don’t have to seek the reverse of the transformation for my sake. If you find yourself liking this arrangement, nothing will change you back. You have to remember that ultimately, what actions you take, are up to you. You control a portion of your destiny and a portion of the destiny of those around you, but you have to live with your choices.”

He had spoken a bit too strongly for her and could almost see the responsibility weighing down her shoulders.

She burst into tears, “No! I can’t give up yet.”

“Nadia, calm down!” Norman snapped, taking her by those slumped shoulders. He had to take a breath to calm himself as he sensed her anxiety getting worse.

“What’s happening to me?! I don't want to be like this! Why am I like this!?”

Norman gave up and simply hugged her. How could he tell her that it would be okay; that she would find herself one way or another and no matter what, he and her sister would be there for her? Nadia pulled away and sat on the step next to her father, staring blankly at her hands. Her father gripped her shoulder and shook slightly.

“You're full of questions only you can answer. I want to get some pictures from the attic, maybe they will help you sort your thoughts.”

-----

The hatch to the attic opened with a creak. It wasn’t as hot and stuffy as most attics because of the multitude of trees that shaded the property. A layer of dust and cobwebs caked everything. A wooden transistor radio with faded hand dials stood to the side of the steps, blocking their way. They turned past it to a stack of marked boxes.

By moving aside boxes marked Christmas decorations and baby clothes, they finally found five large boxes of books on top of a cedar chest marked with name Natalie, only this Natalie was the senior, or Nadia’s mother. Books were gently pushed aside so Nadia could rummage through the boxes as her father stood crouched behind her to prevent hitting his head on the slanted ceiling.

A book fell at Nadia’s knees and released its bookmark, a picture of Nadia’s mother hugging a pajama clad baby boy. Her left arm was over the child’s chest, so he could be pressed safely against her body while he sat on her right arm face front. A tear slid across Nadia’s eye as she laughed at the brazen expression in the baby’s eye.

She had always been there to calmly protect him, even gently intervening in training sessions against her father’s will. Staring into that picture made five years seem like an eternity since she heard her mother’s laugh, her tired sigh, or her gentle hum. Nadia tucked the picture back into the book and gently closed its pages.

The next box was filled with cards and letters. In particular, there was a picture of her mother with her friends from before her parents were married. A tear she didn’t know about fell inside before she closed the picture book. It surprised her how much she was crying, but she couldn’t stop. The only thing she could do was lean over the boxes and wait. All the while she kept crying. Norman approached slowly and put a hand on her shoulder. Nadia glanced at her father with a red, tear-soaked face before turning back to the boxes.

“She wanted a little girl and got me instead, but I end up becoming exactly what she wanted and she isn’t even here to see it. I wonder how she would’ve felt to see me like this, what would she have said?”

“I think she would want you to be happy with who you are. I know how much it hurts that she's gone. Sometimes the pain hits you at the oddest moments as if for no reason at all, and other times it’s a thing that brings back the memory. I know she wasn’t partial to having a boy, and she put you through a lot because of it, but she loved you a lot more than you ever knew. And she would tell you that she'd support you no matter who you are or what you decide to be.”

“I miss her so much.”

Norman knelt beside her, allowing her to cry a little on his arm as he began to shed some tears of his own.

“I know you do.”