"Now, If you may excuse me, I would like to get to the point." Jazz recollected his tiny lasting bits of dignity.
His gaze became cold, his face was no longer tainted by a tiniest shard of emotion.
"I've *cough* 'summoned' you into my humble abode to give a goal to your insignificant miserable life."
Arata had to say that he fancied the insufferable, informal Jazz a lot better.
"Could you not?"
"No, I shall make you my eyes and ears, my proxy, my ticket to another reality"
"I refuse."
A very awkward moment of silence insued.
"Anyway, before I fling you through the fabric of space, do you have some relevant questions?"
Jazhlauwush, seemingly unable to maintain a stoic expression any longer, reverted back to his default version.
"Oh hell yeah, I have a mountain of pressing, crucial questions, Jazz."
Arata took the lamp from the cheap plastic table and pointed it in the general direction of his almighty overlord.
"Why do you need a probe into another world?"
Jazz stared behind Arata's shoulder into the white nothingness.
"Sheer, utter boredom, thirst for otherworldly knowledge and as an escape from my dreadful existence."
Arata blinked few times, looked at Jazz, peeked behind his shoulder, rolled his eyes back at Jazz and then loudly exhaled.
"You know, I am trying to look disappointed, but to tell the truth I've already been disillusioned by our prior conversation."
Arata shook his head and continued the questioning.
"Why does it have to be me?"
His questionee just shrugged with a loud *hmph*
"I dunno, I'm not picky, you just looked very conveniently murderable and easy to deal with."
If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.
"The words can't describe how much I hate you right now .... Moving on."
"Will there be a lot of weird fantasy crap like catgirls, dragons and whatnot?"
Jazz was absolutely flabbergasted
"Are you thick in the head?"
"..."
"Of course there will, a world without catgirls holds no value within my heart."
Affectionately recitated the unicorn-creep with right hand on his chest.
"Ok, so how will I survive there?"
A gleaming, devilish grin appeared on Jazz's face.
"Well that's more of a YOU question rather than ME question, don't you think?."
Now Arata stared at the bland void behind Jazz's shoulder.
"Nah I'm just kidding, you'll have my awesome and highly reliable guidence!"
Needless to say, that didn't rise Arata's spirit by a slightest margin.
"Ok I give up, do whatever bullshit you want to do with me. Let's just get it over with"
"Excellent!"
"So now you'll do some weird abracadabra voodoo teleport-thingy right?"
Arata wiggled his hands and made some rings in the air.
"No, I'll just quite literally chuck you out of reality into another."
"That doesn't sound very safe."
*Ehh*
"Quit fussing drama queen, you'll survive... probably."
After Jazz's hearty words of good bye Arata fell unconscious due to the g-force overload.
"Ahh... please, end my suffering"
Muttered the half conscious living projectile.
"You're still alive! Gosh, I'm so awesome."
Arata stood up to find and subsequently slaughter the sick god/trebuchet that derived pleasure from his suffering.
Apart from the quite large crater beneath his foot, around him was a fairly standard meadow surrounded by some woods and a small town visible in the distance.
"We should assess your immediate medical situation, you know, check for internal bleeding and such."
That managed to wake Arata form his half-slumber.
"The internal what?!"
*Hmm*
"Do you want the good news or the bad news first?" Asked Jazz's voice.
"The good news, please."
"It doesn't seem like you will drop dead anytime soon." the disembodied voice cheerfuly replied.
"Thank god"
Arata felt like a big boulder finally fell from his back.
"Oh you're sweet, no need to thank me, anyways the bad news is that your soul is completely fucked. Shattered into eleven fragments of various sizes."
And the rock was right back up.
"Oh... and that means?"
"That you should already be six feet under, but you're still alive and kickin', well, good for us!"
Arata decided to run away from this issue by ignoring his condition entirely.
"By the way, where are you, Jazz? I don't see you anywhere."
He searched his surroundings for Jazz.
"Okay I'll tell you, so just promise you won't freak out, capisce?"
"Sure, I could try."
"...take a deep breath and look on your chest."
"WHY THE FUCK is there a huge black unicorn tattoo on my left boob?!"
"Chill, I told you to steel yourself, that's my stigma, you are now my partial vessel."
Arata ogled his detailed, permanent decoration for a moment before letting a long *sigh* out.
"Well, now I feel like one of those bronie creeps."
"Welcome to the club!"
"Not helpful, so...do I have some sick super powers now or what?"
"No, my presence in this world is miniscule, as of today, I'm basically just a unicorn tattoo that speaks to you in your mind, like a bad imaginary friend."
"Great, that's really lame, so now what?"
"I dunno, I never thought we'd get this far."