Chapter Thirty-Three
Natalia watched Alexander and Kay leave. She did not like the Siren. As Saki would put it he made her trigger finger itchy. She stretched, the only reason she was still stuck in the hospital is that it was one of the few areas where Kay was certain people wouldn’t surprise her. Physically she had healed from her ordeal on Osaka, but mentally…She was hair triggered, and the only people who could approach her safely were her team, Rei and Kay. She had broken Alexander’s nose when he had startled her earlier that day. Kay had set it, and Alexander was still enough of a soldier that while he didn’t admit that he was wrong, he didn’t hold the attack against her.
She looked at Rei, he looked exhausted. It had been two days since she had fallen asleep in his arms. It had been one of the most restful slumbers she had ever known. He had been gone when she awoke, called off by either Kay or Alexander for another emergency that required his attention, there seemed to be a lot of those. They hadn’t had more than two minutes alone since her rescue.
“How long till the meeting?” asked Natalia.
“Half an hour.”
He hasn’t said anything, really, since he got me out of Osaka. Not since I kissed him. I know things have been busy and there is no time for…personal issues, but I wish…I wish I knew what he was thinking. The Deep Dwellers looked at her with a mixture of scorn and pity that was hard for Natalia to swallow; it made part of her wonder if Rei regretted meeting her.
“I’m not planning to abandon you, you know.” Rei commented, looking at her with a smirk.
“What? What are you talking about?”
“You’re sitting there, wondering what I’m thinking, letting angst and worries get to you that you don’t need to have.” Rei shifted so he was facing her directly. “Natalia, why is it that you don’t trust me?”
“I do trust you! How could you say I don’t?”
“And yet you’re sitting there, staring at me with the expression of a teenager who’s expecting me to run away because of an, admittedly major, hiccup in our relationship.” Rei countered. “How is that not a lack of trust?”
“I just don’t know what you’re thinking! You haven’t been around much since we got back, and I was worried you were rethinking our relationship.” Natalia yelled, angry.
“Well stop it.” Rei instructed, though his tone was softer than his choice of words. “We aren’t Sirens, so we can’t know what the other one is thinking. And frankly, considering how hard it is for a Siren to find a life long mate… I’m not sure we aren’t getting off easy.”
Rei put his finger on Natalia’s lips when she opened her mouth to argue, shushing her. “No, let me talk. Your angst has sure as hell been whispering in your ear, so now it’s my turn.” He stared at her until, reluctantly, she nodded.
“I’ve been here every night, since you’ve gotten back.” He stated. “I’ve been sleeping on a blanket, next to your bed like a nervous puppy. Kay’s been teasing me about how ridiculous I’ve been, honestly. The only reason you haven’t noticed is I wake up before you do. I’m not healing, so I don’t need as much rest, even as much as you have improved.”
“When I’m not here, or in one of the stupid arguments these idiots call meetings, I’ve been with one of your team, keeping an eye on them and forcing the Deep Dwellers to accept them as part of the group.” Rei grinned wryly. “Though Saki’s gotten to the point of threatening to give me a savage beating if I don’t stay away from her and her guns. Makes sense really… she’s got a few young foxes vying for her attention, and she’s rather enjoying it, I suspect.”
“They better not be planning…” The finger returned to Natalia’s lips. Rei chuckling.
“She’s fine. They’re all fine boys, and wisely frightened of the pixie of death.” He assured her. “Now, can I return to talking about me, and us?”
“Yes…” Natalia said softly.
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“Good.” Rei sighed, and leaned back. “The first couple of days you were back, I was in here just about every spare minute I could get. Kay’s the one who chased me out. She was worried I’d start smothering you. I can’t say as I blame her, since I was acting a bit like a lovesick teenager.”
“That being said, Talia, I’ve only hesitated on saying anything to you because you are so worried, so hesitant, yourself.”
“I don’t understand.” She denied, though her voice was softer than she’d meant it to be.
“You’re a horrible liar.” Rei smiled. “I know Kay finally broke down and explained the bond to you. Tell me the truth, how does it make you feel?”
“At first… it scared me. I hadn’t chosen it after all, and it had come out of nowhere.” Natalia admitted softly. “But then Kay told me I… well…”
“She told you that you could simply start avoiding me, and that eventually the bond would fade.” Rei continued for her. “What did you feel when she told you that?”
“Better, since I had a choice.” Natalia admitted. “No, more than better. I felt happy!”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
Rei chuckled and shook his head. “Why were you happy?”
Because I… Could…” Natalia growled. “Just because, okay.”
“No, not okay.” Rei stated frankly. “Because what you aren’t saying is part of why you’re so angsty. So nervous. Or more accurately, it’s because of what I haven’t said, I suppose.”
Natalia watched him sigh, looking away from her and off into the distance. “What do you mean?” She asked.
“I’m not really much better at relationships than you are, Talia.” Rei stated, instead of answering. “I’ve never really been good at letting people inside. A defense mechanism left over from when my parents died.”
“I didn’t know… that…” Natalia admitted.
Rei shrugged. “Why would you? I never talk about it, and Kay sure as hell wouldn’t since she blames herself.” He said. “You’ve seen what can happen when the flu manages to take hold in a Kitsune, right?”
“Yes. It turns… vicious.” Natalia shivered. When she was eighteen, half the Kitsune, Shido included, in the Sydney office had come down with such a flu. He’d almost died and had broken several of his ribs by coughing too hard.
“One of those hit the Deep about four years ago.” Rei stated, still looking into the distance. Natalia realized he was staring at the past. “I wasn’t in the Deep at the time, and a Siren managed to contact me psychically before I took the elevator down during the whole mess. All but a handful of the Kitsune down there got it, my sister being one of those handfuls. Unfortunately our parents were not.”
“It presented mostly through high fevers and heavy vomiting. About all that could be done was to feed the victims through IV and try to keep them cool. My parents, realizing how busy Kay was, tried to treat themselves as best they could instead of telling her they were ill right away. They didn’t want to be a burden.
“My mother, sick and barely able to walk, stumbled into my sister’s lab maybe a day after they started feeling bad begging her to hurry, to help our father. By the time she had mother in bed, and had reached our parent’s home, he was gone.” Natalia gasped, and reached out for him, but Rei didn’t seem to notice. He was caught up in his memories.
“Mom didn’t last much longer. Kay always said it was her heart, breaking, that killed her not the flu. I wasn’t even allowed down until a month after my own parent’s deaths.”
Rei rose, pacing. “There was a girl, I was kind of serious about her, that I was dating at the time. I was weeks away from revealing the Deep, and moving down there with her… she was an Undercity rat, so she’d have only been improving her stake in life by going… when it all happened. I told her… I told her my mother and father had died, and how.”
“She had moved out of our apartment by the time I got home the next night. I only had a note for a good bye.”
“Oh my god. I’m so sorry.”
“Why?” Rei asked, looking at her confused. “I’m not. In the end, she wasn’t who I was meant for.” He shrugged. “She did tear me up inside fairly badly, though. After that I was all hot dates and fast affairs, nothing deep. Frankly, I wasn’t that very different from Shido, except I didn’t admire the asses of other people’s sisters when their brothers were around.”
“I know you’ve looked at my ass when he was in the room.”
“You don’t have kids at the moment.” Rei pointed out. “But, still, I was a mess. Then, I met you!”
“You met me… but how did that change anything.”
Rei sat back down, taking her hand into his. “It changed everything, Talia. Unlike you I knew exactly what was happening to us, I could smell it. And I knew something that, even with my sister’s explanation, you didn’t.”
“What’s that?”
“That if I didn’t love you, the bond could never happen.” He said, softly and just for her. “And that’s the truth, Natalia. I love you, so much it hurts!”
“But if it hurts…” Natalia started, confused. Again his finger rested on her lips.
“It hurts, yes… but it would hurt so much more if you were gone.” Rei said. “The pain isn’t because I love you, Natalia. It’s because I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
He smiled, leaning forward and gently kissing her. “And that’s what I hadn’t said, until now. I was a chicken and waiting for you to say it first.” He looked down at his wrist and sighed. “And now it’s time for the meeting. Are you ready?”
“Yes…” Natalia whispered. She was silent as Rei took her hand and helped her to her feet. He loosened his grip, but she tightened hers. Slowly she brought her eyes up to his gaze. “Rei…”
“Yes?”
“I…” She hesitated, and then blushed deeply as she took a deep breath. “I love you too.”
Rei smiled, watching her blush and look away. He followed her as she hurried out of the room, for the meeting. He had no choice, really.
She still had not let go of his hand.