Sweat trickled down my neck, carving icy trails along my spine as I toiled relentlessly, the weight of my struggle suffocating the very air around me. The dimly lit room shimmered like a mirage as if the universe itself bent and quivered beneath the pressure of my efforts. My trembling hands danced in frantic precision, coaxing fragile fragments of power into some semblance of order, their glow flickering like dying embers. Time had long since become irrelevant—minutes, hours, none of it mattered. My focus was singular.
My soul core was a splintered, volatile mess—an unstable cluster of energy riddled with holes, leaking strength like a punctured vein. I could feel every fragment slipping from my grasp, every ounce of power resisting my will. It was like trying to mold quicksilver into a perfect sphere, the liquid defying any shape I attempted to impose.
Failure wasn’t an option.
The ghost of Julia’s mocking laughter echoed in my mind, her strikes still haunting my ribs with phantom pain. That defeat—two weeks ago—had been unbearable. A child. I had lost to a child. My last, desperate charge had been laughable, an embarrassing display of incompetence. Were it not for Lady Valdris’s intervention, I’d still be licking my wounds in disgrace. The memory burned within me, scalding hotter than the molten core inside my chest. If I couldn't defend myself against that, what were my chances against assassins, demons, and kings? None.
I thought time would I'd be enough. But time, I learned, was a thief, robbing me of opportunities. My breaths came fast and shallow, chest heaving with the effort to stave off the inevitable collapse.
"I will not die," I muttered through clenched teeth, the words evolving into a mantra. Each syllable slammed into my mind like the beat of war drums.
I clenched my fists a,d bore down on the fragments again, forcing them together. My soul core burned hotter, brighter, its light spilling out like a miniature sun struggling to be born. The pain was blinding. My veins felt as if they carried molten steel instead of blood. Muscles spasmed. Limbs trembled under the strain of holding everything together.
"I won’t quit. I won’t quit. I WON’T QUIT!"
The mantra became a roar, echoing through the room as I gave one final, furious push. The fragments collapsed inward, igniting in a burst of light so brilliant it rendered me momentarily blind. My chest burned, white-hot, as if struck by lightning. The world tilted violently. My knees buckled. I hit the ground, bile rising as the pressure released all at once.
Rain fell in relentless sheets, cold and unyielding. My coat was soaked through, clinging to me like a second skin. The wheels of my chair groaned under the effort of pushing through the slick, uneven gravel of the cemetery path. The third of January, my first birthday without them. It felt like the world was being especially cruel. Each icy gust that sliced through my coat seemed to carry whispers, mocking me and reminding me of what I had become.
I reached their graves after what felt like an eternity. Two simple headstones stood side by side, etched with their names and dates. "Emily and David Wolf, may they rest in peace," it said, the engraving worn with age. My mother’s stone had a small imprint of a dove, and my father’s had an oak tree. Symbols of hope and strength. Irony. The flowers I’d brought were limp from the heavy rain, but I laid them down anyway, arranging them as best as I could with my shaking hands. My fingers ached from the cold, and I had to clench and unclench them a few times just to stop them from cramping.
“They didn’t accept my letter,” I muttered, breaking the silence. My voice came out hoarse, carried away almost immediately by the wind. “Your son, the screw-up, the kid who couldn’t even keep the promise to go to college. I mean, come on.” I tried to laugh, but the sound was hollow, bitter.
A lump formed in my throat, threatening to choke me. No one was around to see the tears mingling with the rain on my cheeks, but that didn’t make them any easier to shed. I’d tried. I’d tried so damn hard. But trying wasn’t enough.
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I leaned forward, resting my forehead against my mother’s headstone. The cold granite felt grounding, a strange kind of comfort. “You always said I could do anything, Mom. I just had to work harder than anyone else and want it more, and I’d get my dream. But what if I’m just... not enough?” My voice cracked, and I clenched my fists, nails digging into my palms. “What if I’ve always been the kind of guy who half-asses everything? What if you saw that, and you just didn’t want to admit it?” The words hung heavy in the air, each one suffocating me.
The memories hit like a tidal wave—vivid, sharp. David Wolf, my father, was a firefighter, a hero to everyone, yet he always had a soft spot for me. Maybe it was because he had been the one behind the wheel during the accident. "Kai, you have something special, son," he'd say, sitting in his office chair, lecturing me for hours. "You're not held back by your body. You're more than that. Your strength comes from somewhere deep. Somewhere that'll always keep you going, your heart." I could still feel his hand on my shoulder, the warmth of his reassurance. "That makes you the strongest person I've ever known." Regret.
He died the week after. The worst part about losing someone you love isn’t the loss itself—it’s watching those you care about crumble in the wake of that loss. My mother screamed—pain erupted from her throat so loud that it must’ve physically hurt. You could feel it vibrate in your bones, freezing you in place, terrified that if you comforted her, she might break like glass. The doctors said he had an extremely fast-developing heart disease, hereditary. They took me for tests. Grief.
They concluded that I had it too.
And that news—well, that broke my mom. Destroyed any hope of a happy future. Her son was going to die. The disease wasn’t curable; they could slow it down and try to lessen the effects, but that was it. That next year, on December 13th, Emily Rae Wolf overdosed in a suicide attempt. And she succeeded. Unbearable pain.
I sat back in my chair, letting the rain wash over me, feeling the weight of everything. "Emotions plague my mind." I wish my entire body was as numb as my legs. The wheelchair creaked softly as I shifted my weight, and I couldn’t help but laugh bitterly. The kid who wanted to be an athlete, even though he was a cripple. What a joke. Even my parents’ dreams of me becoming a college graduate had slipped through my fingers like ice melting into water. I’d failed them. I’d failed myself.
But then, beneath the guilt, the grief, and the unbearable pain... there was something. Something small, fragile pulsing in my heart, that refused to be extinguished. I still had a choice. I still had the chance to find something worth fighting for, even if it wasn’t the life I’d once imagined for myself.
“I want to live,” I whispered, the words small, tentative, as though they were afraid of being stomped out. The rain continued to pour, cold and merciless, but now, it felt different. Almost cleansing. “I want to live.” Tears flowed through my eyes before I could stop them. "I want to live! Is it so wrong just to want to live?"
Silence.
I stayed there for a while, letting the moment settle over me. The cemetery was quiet, save for the rain and the distant rustle of wind through the trees. When I finally turned to leave, my hands were steadier on the wheels. My chest felt a little lighter. “I would take life head-on. I wouldn’t cry anymore.”
As I wheeled away, I glanced back at their graves one last time. The flowers I’d left were drooping, their colors muted by the rain, but they were still there. A small, fleeting beauty, "Goodbye." Everything began to spin
I blinked against the bright haze, everything spinning around me. I felt warmth begin to seep back into my body, and my vision cleared. Mom? The blue eyes and blonde hair in front of me weren’t hers, but Lady Valdris. “Crio, wake up! Crio, wake up!” Her face was full of worry.
A soft ding echoed in my ears.
System Notification:
First Beginner Soul Core Formed!
You have succeeded in forming your first beginner soul core, the foundation of all true warriors. From this moment onward, the soul core becomes an immutable part of your being, unremovable by any force.
Stats Boosted:
+20% Constitution
+15% Dexterity
+15% Strength
+10% Stamina
Achievements Unlocked:
Soul Warrior: The first step on the warrior's path is complete. By creating your beginner soul core, you have proven your resolve and determination.
Reward: <30 SP>
Young One Chosen by the Soul: Against all odds, you have become the youngest person on the planet to form a soul core, a feat that will be spoken of for generations. Your name will echo in whispers among the legends.
Reward: <120SP>