We all turned in unison, leaning on each other in a heap. Tisha stood there with a tray. It held a giant pitcher of what looked like lemonade, and a pile of biscuits with gravy and chicken wings.

“Holy shit, that looks amazing,” I said.

I saw Jade check out Tisha as the blonde mechanic eyed her quietly. Tisha returned the glance, and blushed. Jade looked back at me and popped her eyebrows twice. Saying nothing. “I’m way ahead of you,” I whispered to her.

She leaned up on her tiptoes and whispered, “That’s what she said,” back to me. I chuckled and stepped forward, grabbing some lemonade and a chicken wing gratefully. I was covered in spider blood, burns, and dirt, but I didn’t care.

“Thanks, Tisha,” I said, tasting the sour-sweet drink and devouring the food. It was amazingly refreshing, especially after all the fire-casting.

“I… I owe you all. Thanks,” she said. Her voice was still tentative.

I looked at her, then at the ladies beside me. “We should be thanking you,” I replied. “That was a hell of a stunt you pulled in that torch machine.” I felt out for my dagger and called it back to me. Slowing it as it approached, then drifting it lazily into my palm. I wiped it off on my ruined pants and slipped it into its sheath. The action felt extremely sexual when I did it standing in front of three smoking hot women who were all staring at me.

I figured I was imagining that, but when I looked back up at Tisha’s eyes widened and she looked away from me back at the ground. Evelyn blew a strand of her orange hair out of her face, then yawned. Giving me and Jade a loaded look. It almost looked like jealousy, but I couldn’t quite tell.

I stood there and powered down two more glasses of lemonade and pretty much the whole plate of wings. Burning through it like a barbarian.

Because I was a barbarian.

A heavy fucking metal barbarian.

I burped, then looked over the wreckage. Wincing at the villagers rounding up the spiders that were mostly still intact. Putting the roasted ones in a separate pile on a tarp. “Can’t believe they’re gonna eat those,” I said, shuddering.

“They’re great!” one of them said, throwing me a wave. “Tastes like chicken.” It was the guy I’d bought my breakfast off early in the morning. It reminded me that I still had a sandwich tucked in my back pocket. I shifted and frowned, feeling it obliterated within my armor.

Aw man.

“Who’s in charge here?” I asked, breaking up the awkward silence. Tisha seemed like she had something she wanted to say, but was too shy to say it. I let her be for the moment. I was too tired to focus on it right then. “I… feel responsible for all the damage. Looks like they lost a lot of wheat.”

Truly the wheat was the last of their problems.

The downed airships had both detonated and left huge craters in what was clearly prime farmland.

“It was weird,” I said. “When I busted into that second ship, it seemed like they detonated it intentionally.” I scratched my head, remembering the grim and determined captain. “There was a pyromancer in there and he… let go of a spell. Then the ship exploded? I barely got out in time.”

Tisha’s eyes lit up and she nearly dropped her tray. “I’ve heard of that! I think it’s a dead man’s feature in the engine. It’s linked up to the cyclicite fuel cells in the storage section.” Her timidness was gone now as she talked about engines and hardware. I stopped myself from grinning at her coming out of her shell but making private note of it. “The pyromancer has a magical link to a hotbox in the fuel room. If he’s ever killed and none of his officers take the link, then the hotbox overheats. It sends the whole engine into overdrive and cooks the whole fuel supply!”

Tisha wiggled her soft body as she got excited. I saw Jade eyeing her eagerly, and Evelyn blew her hair out of her face as she watched Jade’s interest. I couldn’t help but join her. “Isn’t that crazy?”

“Sure was,” I said. Leaving out the part about how I’d nearly been flash-fried by the technology. An old gray lady tottered over and waved a thick cane at me.

“Ooh jeepers. That was,” she coughed and held up a hand. Waiting. “That was something else. I’m the Mayor, if you can call me that.”

“I uh, wanted to make sure that everything was okay? These guys came after us,” I said, pointing at the field of devastation behind me. “I wasn’t planning on them rolling through like this.”

She waved it off as if I was pointing at a pile of rags that could be swept up in a few minutes. “It’s fine. Besides, we can sell the spiders. The cooked ones make great meals, and the intact ones are powerful magical ingredien—”

Her jaw dropped open and she wobbled on her cane as I pulled out a handful of platinum. “Here,” I said. “It’ll help ease the sting. I think we kept everyone safe, but that’s to make this mess more tolerable.” The shrewd woman nodded quietly and pocketed the coin without a word. The girls stared at the exchange with open wonder. Evelyn crossed her arms and gave me a pointed stare.

I’d be hearing about that later.

Tisha was staring off into the wreckage, so I followed her gaze. She was fixed on the shattered hulk of her robot. My heart sank. That’s what she was bummed about. She’d probably built the thing by hand, and I’d pitched the damn thing through a giant spider and crushed it.

Granted, the alternative was death by arachnid swarm, but they’d only come after us because of the show the night before. That had to be the reason. The elven assassins had clearly known where we were. They were just the welcoming party. The real greeting had been the blimps themselves. I inwardly shuddered, thinking about how bad things might’ve been if I hadn’t taken out the blimps before they could fully unload.

“Tisha, do you think I could borrow your expertise on a project?” I asked, leaning into her fascination with technology. I suddenly remembered her miraculous escape from the robot. How she’d phased through it. The sight of her shapely curves as she momentarily became naked. I realized I’d stopped talking, and shifted.

“Um, sure,” she said, still staring at the obliterated machine.

“I’d like to hire you to help us plan an airship heist,” I said, letting the words drop out plainly as if I’d been asking for more lemonade. Her eyes snapped onto me as if magnetized.

“Say again?” she asked, her hand drifting to her breast. Teasing the cleavage that peeked out from underneath her greasy overalls.

Interesting.

Did big machines turn her on?

That only strengthened my resolve to get the biggest machine in all the land.

To my surprise, Evelyn was looking at me with pure hunger in her eyes. Only Jade looked apprehensive. It seemed that Evelyn was a real maniac and was down for crazy shit like this. Hell, she’d probably want to have sex in the cockpit or something if we got our hands on one.

Jade’s wings twitched in controlled jerks, and she put her hand on her chin. Shaking her head. “You really want to try that with them exploding… like that.” She pointed at the blasted wreckage of the smoldering airships. “I’m up for mischief, Luis, but that’s… ambitious?” She said that instead of another word that she was probably thinking.

Stupid.

That is a dumb plan.

I spread my grimy arms wide. Realizing that I really wanted a shower soon. The burns and wounds on my skin were painful too, and I probably should get them looked at. Or at least examine them myself with the basic first aid skills my mom had taught me.

“I don’t want this happening again,” I said, pointing back at the smoldering fields that Evelyn and I had extinguished with our magic. “We keep just driving everywhere and the towns we visit are gonna get smoked. I was worried about Clontikus as it was. This just confirms things.”

“Let’s do it,” Evelyn said. Her voice went high in a near-bark. Her foxy nature was coming through. Her own armor was soaked in spider gore too, not to mention char marks. The idea of slipping into the shower with her had me really turned on. Then I looked down at Jade and realized I’d almost have to flip a coin if I was pressed to choose who.

It would’ve been nice to have two ladies in the shower.

A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

It’d taken a bit of nudging to get Evelyn to sleep with me and Jade in the first place. And by that I meant literally sleep. She’d been firm about not wanting to share me in person, and that’d been a commitment I’d made when I brought her into the harem. It was fine by me, and actually fun in its own way that she’d be mine and mine alone.

Still though. The greedy sex hog in me that had started this whole harem bonanza wanted more. Threesomes were definitely a part of the more the greedy me wanted.

I caught Tisha checking out Jade’s athlete-fit body and her perfect and perky breasts. Jade hadn’t been wearing armor and was still in her pajamas. Her top was cut really tight, exposing her fit stomach and attractive hips. Tisha realized I’d caught her checking Jade out and her blush deepened.

Interesting.

“I’ll contract you to help us plan the job, Tisha,” I said, breaking the long silence. “I’d pay you. It could buy parts to replace your salvage machine.” She looked back at the wreck with sadness in her eyes. It almost looked like she was going to cry. “I can give you some money now to get the parts going, too.”

She shook her head. “It’s not about the money… that was just the first thing I ever really built. For me. You know? I make all sorts of stuff. Berty was just exactly what I needed.” She sniffled, then sighed.

My gut twisted.

Was I turning into the rich asshole that wanted to solve every problem with a stack of platinum?

“We can help shape you every replacement part you need,” I said. “Evelyn’s a master smith, and Jade is amazing with blueprints. You could make Berty from scratch.” I paused on the name, almost forgetting it. “And hell, once we get the airship we’ll cut you off some cyclicite. Maybe you can learn something from the airship engine design once we have it in our hands.”

Her pointy elf ears pricked up at the mention of cyclicite, but her big blue eyes locked on me at the last thing I mentioned. “You’d… you’d let me look at that engine?”

“Hell yeah,” I said, pausing dramatically. Knowing that I had her hooked. “You could even touch it. Feel around for what makes it tick.” Jade grinned and leaned into me. Her body that unique combo of warm and minty cool.

Evelyn rolled her eyes just barely and said, “I’m gonna go take a shower and see if I can get some sleep. Have fun you rabbits.” Before she left she gave me a wink to let me know she really didn’t mind. This part of the whole arrangement just wasn’t for her. I gave her a wave back and she shot me a foxy sly grin. Yawning and stretching as she went back to the RV.

Tisha was locked onto me with absolute focus now. Her hand massaged her sternum, tracing up and down her cleavage there. Jade was staring at her, two-tone eyes unblinking. “You’d let me play with the engine too?”

“Totally,” I said immediately. “We’d need someone to show us how it all works. You could even take it for a spin with us if you’d like.”

“No way,” she whispered. Her eyes went out of focus as she imagined it. Then she snapped back into focus and said, “You’re really serious?” I only nodded. “When do we start?” she asked, clasping her hands together in front of her. Bouncing up and down. A small noise came out of Jade as she tracked Tisha’s curves in motion. I managed to stop just short of something similar.

“How about dinner tonight with me and the ladies?” I asked. She started to turn in on herself at the prospect of a social call, so I leaned back into the project. “We can talk about what kind of precautions we might need to take. I saw you taking a look at the wreckage earlier.”

Tisha nodded slowly. Not entirely convinced.

“How about you take a drive with us to Clontikus? The Mayor has one of the huge orc war trucks. The ones that run on cyclicite. I could make him show you the engine on that sucker. It’s as big as my house. Plus I have a secret project I’m working on. I could use your help with it.”

Her blue eyes lit up again and she nodded immediately. “Yes. Yes. Yes.”

Jade brought her hand up to her mouth and coughed to hide another half-moan.

“Do you need a ride?” I offered. “You can roll with us in the RV.”

“Naw,” she said, flicking a wrist at me. “I’ve got a pickup. I’ll just tail you over.”

“All right. We’ll meet in the town square an hour before sunset and drive over. I’ll take care of the food.”

“Should I bring anything?” she asked, warming up to us slightly.

Just that rocking body and gorgeous smile of yours, I almost said out loud.

“Any specs you have on that engine—and that metal collection of yours. Evelyn wants me to hone my metal skills and feeling those things with my hands would really help me improve my stamina.” I’d felt myself drifting into something semi-sexual and then leaned into it for Jade’s sake. Her wings twitched and I could almost hear the that’s what she said bouncing around in her skull. Begging to be released.

“Deal!” Tisha said, extending her hand. I took it and shook it, finding it surprisingly soft for a mechanic’s. Maybe it was some trait of her elfhood. Tish bounced a little hop, then jogged off. Practically skipping.

“I have the restraint of a saint,” Jade said. Letting out a long breath. “You’re on that shit right? I—”

“I know, and yes I am. Remember what I said?” Reminding her of how I didn’t want her steering the whole damn harem. I was enjoying the prowl and flirt. Having Jade press me into the arms of every woman in town wasn’t what I wanted.

“Yes Luis,” Jade said with half-mock submissiveness. “You also told me to tell you when I’m into someone… because Jodi almighty that woman is a work of art.”

“Fair enough,” I answered as we walked back to the RV.

We were quiet for a long time. Then out of the blue Jade spoke up. “I got worried about you back there. I’d never seen you gassed out like that,” she said, referring to when I’d lost magical stamina. I shook my head in disbelief.

“I’d never pushed it so hard before.”

“Did you… pull her through that machine?” Jade asked, carefully skirting the subject of me running dry in combat. Evelyn would’ve come right at it, but Jade had a way of floating a subject and letting me come at it in my own time. I appreciated both of their approaches. It was nice to have that kind of feedback, but in both directions.

“That wasn’t you?” I asked, stopping in my tracks. She shook her head. “Damn,” I said in wonder. “I think we might have ourselves a hot magical blonde elf on our hands. Have you ever seen that kind of magic before?”

“No. I’ve heard of it, but it’s supposed to be rare. Did you…” she trailed off. Obviously referring to when Tisha’s magic revealed her entire luscious body.

“Oh yeah,” I said, doing my own impression of the Kool-Aid guy.

She reached over and grabbed my hand, then squeezed it. “Can I… maybe… take care of you? In the shower or something?”

My body rumbled, but I thought maybe her motivation was slightly off its normal track. “Are you turned on? Or worried about my magic stores?”

She sighed. “Busted,” she said.

I squeezed her hand back. “I’m honestly exhausted. Plus, I don’t want us getting each other off just for bonus magic. It would be fun—but I don’t want it turning into a chore. You know? I’m already feeling better anyhow.” I whipped my dagger out and waved it around to prove a point. “I’m a bit turned on, but I want to save it for dinner.”

“Why?” Jade asked.

I pondered not saying it, but finally cut loose a theory I’d had for a while. “I think people can… sense sexual attraction. Pheromones, you know? I want to reel Tisha in at dinner, and I want to be revving fully. Want to edge each other a bit?”

“You’ve got my attention,” Jade growled. “I am honestly fucking pooped. Something more laid-back sounds nice.”

“Follow me then,” I said. I got us into the RV and was surprised to find Evelyn fast asleep with the door open. She was totally naked, sprawled out on the cyclicite furnace—which was idling at a low hot roar. Her full chest and perfect nipples rising and falling. The tuft of her orange mound tugging at my attention. Her tail hung limp from the furnace. Twitching occasionally. I wasn’t sure if I was imagining it, but her tail seemed to be getting longer and fuller. Just like Jade’s horns. I hadn’t told either of them, and I didn’t think they’d noticed anything.

Evelyn must really have been exhausted. I didn’t think she ever wanted to be seen naked by Jade.

My body was blocking the little imp’s view, so I quickly pulled the door closed. Giving Evelyn her privacy. Then I turned and picked Jade up to kiss her. Grabbing her ass as I lifted the sexy little imp. She wrapped her legs around me and reached for my amulet. The chain was hanging just over my breastplate.

I grabbed her hand and shook my head. Stopping her from fishing it out and casting a cleanliness spell. Then I gave her a look of animal hunger and pulled her into the tight shower. She caught on fast, and we got undressed in the cramped little RV bathroom—which we only fit in because the thing was so damn huge.

Her smaller and perky breasts sprang out of her pajama top. Eager for attention. She helped me out of my armor and leathers. We left the mess on the floor.

Busy with something more important.

The steaming water felt incredible, and Jade found the soap. Frothing it in her hands suggestively and biting her lip. We ran our hands over each other’s bodies. Grinning like maniacs. Hers drifting closer to my manhood. Tracing the area just inside my thigh.

“Why is it so much hotter knowing we’re not going to get off?” she whispered, trying not to wake Evelyn.

“I don’t know,” I responded, reaching out and palming her hands. Teasing her nipples. Giving them a little magnetic vibration. She arced her body into mine. “It’s almost like a game of…” I searched for the right words. “Sexual chicken?” Then I traced my hand down her belly, gracing her hips and sliding just beside her womanhood. Her moan was wild and uncontrolled.

She giggled and put her hand on her lips. Trying not to wake Evelyn. Then she soaped up her hands further and then took hold of my balls. “Oof,” I groaned. My eyes practically crossing. “That’s… cheating.” I said as my breath quickened.

“I’m just tidying you up. We want you clean as a polished horn for dinner tonight. To capture a bi-curious curvy magical elf.” Jade brought her arm up in a victorious fist. I snickered. Her hand wandered a bit higher. “You filthy barbarian wizard, you.”

“Now that’s really cheating,” I said, leaning back up against the wall. Admiring her steaming body. I snatched the soap from her and grabbed her waist. Pressing myself against her thigh. Letting her feel the results of her attention. Then I scrubbed her body down roughly. Inching close to her most sensitive parts but gliding right past them. Showing her what real teasing was like.

“Oh fuck Luis. You’re far too good at that.” She turned around and pressed her hands against the shower wall. Pushing her hips back toward me. “I can’t take it anymore. Just get inside me.” The soapy water ran down her perfectly shaped ass, making her sex glisten. I grabbed her left cheek and jiggled it. Letting the motion shake on down to her pussy. Considering for a moment.

She was tempting.

That was for sure.

But I’d already made my decision, and it was going to stand.

“Bwaak bwaaak,” I said, with a laugh. Ruining the mood on purpose. “You lose, little chicken.” She scowled at me, then bit her lip and pouted. I gave her ass a wet slap—breaking our quiet game—just for good measure. Evelyn would sleep right through it after today. Jade’s face was full of surprise, but also hunger.

“You monster,” she said, sighing and then descending into an impish giggle. “Let me get your back.”

“Keep it above the belt,” I warned.

“Or what? You’ll spank me?”

“No,” I said. “You like that.”

“What, then?”

“Next time I give it to you, I’ll wait until you beg, then make you wait five more minutes for it,” I said. Letting myself be as cocky as I wanted. Reveling in it, then chuckling at the double entendre in my mind.

“You really are a monster,” she sighed. Coming in close and washing my lower back. “You’re the boss, Luis.”

“Damn straight.”

Spoiler action: Luis and Jade get a bit frisky and cleaned off in the RV shower.