I sat there, staring at the impossible, a penguin cosplaying as Santa, and the only thought that came to my mind was ‘How does Present work irl?’ While I was rebooting from my new reality crashing my software the Delibird started approaching me. As it moved closer and closer the reality of the situation began to set in for me.

Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nu-uh this can’t be happening, there is no way I fell through a god-damn Ultra Wormhole or something into the Pokemon world! How fricking cliche is that???

The Delibird apparently curious about me got closer until it was right next to my face while I was still frozen in shock. The flying santa-penguin got right up into my face staring into my eyes before it chirped, “Bird, Delibird?” Then went to grab something out of its sack - Wait… isn’t its sack a tail? And it stores stuff in it? Isn’t that how Present works or something, but if it stores berries or trash in its tail how does the bad stuff not affect it, how does game design translate to real-world physics/aura magic?

My thought stream was interrupted when discount penguin Santa shoved a fruit right in front of my face. Shaken from my shock I took a closer look at the fruit, a blue…orange/blueberry? My best guess is it’s an oran berry.

Still spooked out of my mind I slowly reached for the offered berry and almost mechanically put it in my mouth taking slow bites. It was weirdly sweet and soft despite its orange-ish appearance… it was like eating a mix between a strawberry and a peach.

When I completely finished the oran berry, the Delibird still making direct eye contact patted me on the head with a wing…or is it a flipper? I realized the penguin never blinked the whole time it was looking at me. After the head-pat, the Delibird turned around and skipped off back to the treeline, with me once again frozen at the sheer absurdity of what was happening to me right now. Once the happy-go-lucky penguin made it to the tree line it turned around waved at me, then cheerfully chirped, “Delibirrrrrd! Birrrrd Birrrrd!” Before kept on its way and disappeared into the treeline.

I don’t know how long it was that I stayed there sitting almost motionless on an icy beach with blue oran berry stains on my hands as I contemplated how utterly screwed I was, but by the time I snapped out of my fugue state, the sun that had previously been floating in the sky at high noon was now lower in sky, but still not near the horizon thankfully.

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Okay so, I’m in the Pokemon world…great, just great. Well, I have no clue where the ever-loving fuck I am, I can’t remember a frozen island in any of the games or anime. Oh god, I hope I’m not in some maga-verse, I know literally nothing about them other than the world was waayyy fucking darker and messed up. Even if it's not the frickin’ manga there’s still world-ending events every three years or so to worry about, not to mention the plethora of organized crime, criminal syndicates, terrorist organizations, and frickin aliens from different dimensions. Wait… I’M AN ALIEN FROM A DIFFERENT DIMENSION! Let’s hope that wasn’t an ultra wormhole I fell out of then, because if so I’m screwed six ways to Sunday and there isn’t shit I can do about it. Okay, let's forget about all the shit future me has to deal with, right now I need to survive.

As I was slightly panicking over the potential ramifications of my current circumstances, I got up off my but and slowly cautiously made my way over to the tree line. When I got a better look past the wild and strange icy foliage into the forest, the sight took my breath away. It was like a shot straight out of an anime opening, within my view of the forest over a dozen different Pokemon, or at least evidence of them decorated the scenery. Beautiful webs of string covered in beautifully frozen dew stretched out between branches like art pieces, as blue Caterpie crawled about them, near the webs Metapod, frozen in ice rather than silk hung from branches as Butterfree with wings of ice with snowflake patterns like stained glass flittered about. Rattata and Raticate scurried about the forest floor, as a troop of Oddish marched in step behind a Vileplume. Many more Pokemon graced the clearing I peered into, and the Delibird scitterd about from Pokemon to Pokemon briefly greeting each one and sometimes giving them a berry or in some cases playfully throwing spoiled about for fun. None of the Pokemon around seemed bothered by this and their attitude towards the Delibird could be described as respectful.

Suddenly the Delibird wavered and chirped upon seeing me and all eyes in the clearing turned towards me. There was a sudden pause of complete silence before Delibird uttered an excited, “Delibird! Deli Deli Deli Delibird!” Almost at once, the various Pokemon in the clearing began discussing my presence with not a small amount of commotion. One of the oddish I saw earlier slowly crept up to me before pausing at my feet, I kneeled down, noticing the distance I had to kneel to be eye level with the Oddish was rather short, before realizing my altered body now meant a shorter height too apparently. Once eye level with the blue radish, it gave me a curious look. I held my hand out to it as if it were a strange dog, almost breathless. It took a quick look at my hand and approached it cautiously, once it touched my hand, it quickly shied away and shivered before giving me what I can only describe as an uppity glare before it scoffed and walked back to the other Oddish. Once back with its friends, it held one leaf in front of its mouth as it laughed and I could swear it was insulting me to the other sentient tubers. I met eyes with the Vileplume who just shrugged at me and sighed.

What…the…Did an Ojou-sama Oddish just diss me?!? A friking sentient radish is oh-oh-ho-ing to its followers and looking down on me? I…I…well…just what is the world coming to?

During all that the Pokemon were still discussing me, many with curiosity and occasional glances in my direction. I decided to wait for them to come to what I hoped would be a decision in my favor and sat down with my back against a tree. As I tilted my head up to look into the branches, it was at that moment an overexcited Caterpie jumped onto my face.

I did not respond gracefully.