[https://i.imgur.com/VGCFMQy.png]

Refenial sat next to Nia on the bench, watching the fire. He glanced over at the crutch he'd bought her.

"I'm sure my leg will be fine in a few weeks," Nia said, but her voice was flat, and Refenial didn't even think she believed that, not really.

"I'm sorry," Refenial said, trying to keep the unending waves of guilt from his face.

Nia shook her head, "you did what you thought was right." She looked at him seriously. "Reffy, I chose my own actions every step of the way. Don't take responsibility for my choices."

"I'll make it right. I'll find a way of getting your leg healed." He already had ideas of how to make his statement a reality.

Nia shrugged. "I'm sure you will. If nothing else, I bet this magic academy you're going to has some way of fixing it up."

Refenial looked across at Helus, his arm in a sling. "What did the healer say about your arm?" He asked the man.

Helus smiled. "Apparently, both the bones in my forearm are completely shattered. But once I'm ordained as a full member of the Systemic Order's priesthood, I will be entitled to full healing for injuries like this from the Order."

He'd saved three lives; he didn't regret that, not for a moment. What he regretted was how close people came to dying to achieve that. What he regretted was that two people had to be injured to make that happen, especially Nia.

"Where is Nox? He seemed a little down. Perhaps I should check on him?" Helus said brightly.

"I saw him heading towards the far wall of the village a little while ago. I'll check on him." Refenial said, standing.

"Where are you going?" Nia asked, her voice holding a hint of nervousness.

"I'm just going to check on Nox," Refenial reassured her.

Refenial stepped away from the camp's lights and into the night, towards the ruined village's dark side. He opened his soul's eyes as he slowly walked forwards, allowing him to see into the night.

[https://i.imgur.com/oMrGBK6.png]

It didn't take him long to find Nox. He was sitting leaning forwards on a log. He was holding a large clay jug that he was dangling between his legs.

Nox looked up, the ghoul's night vision clearly having no trouble in spotting Refenial.

"Mnh." Nox grunted, then took a large swig from his jug.

Refenial approached and sat down next to the man. The smell of booze drifted off of Nox in the cold night air.

Nox held his jug out towards Refenial, then after a moment, he pulled it back again. "Damn it, I keep forgetting you're just a kid," Nox said, slurring slightly as he spoke.

Nox gave Refenial an odd look. "Y'know, you're so damn serious all the time." Nox seemed to consider his statement for a moment, "well, except when you aren't, I suppose."

"Nia's leg looks pretty bad," Refenial said sadly.

"They look pretty good t-" Nox paused as he looked down towards Refenial. He cleared his throat. "Do you regret it? Y'know, going in the fucked-up house to save those people?"

Refenial considered that for a moment. Did he? Did he regret his actions?

He shook his head. "No, it was the right thing to do. That's not what I regret."

"What then?" Nox asked, giving Refenial a suspicious look.

Refenial sighed, "I'm weak. My mistake wasn't trying to save people. My mistake was being weak. If I was stronger, if I was stronger than Nia and Helus wouldn't have got hurt. No one else would have had to fight the monsters."

"Bullshit!" Nox opined loudly, making Refenial cringe back slightly in surprise.

"What?" Refenial asked, confused by the response.

"Bull...shit. You're eleven. You helped fight and kill two monsters that could rip a grown man apart. I saw you on that thing's back, stabbing away. That's more than most did in the fight."

"There were actually three monsters. But that is-"

Nox wrinkled his brow and took another swig.

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"There was another one in the house that I killed before coming out."

Nox gave him a blank look, "how?"

"I stunned it with my whistle and then stabbed it with a broken chair leg."

"How many people do you think lived in this village?" Nox asked him.

"I dunno, 30-40?"

"Those three monsters were able to kill an entire village, and you killed one single-handedly, badly wounded the second and helped take down the third. I'm a cursed being with supernatural strength, and I did less than you, an eleven-year-old boy."

"yeah, but I was still too weak to protect everyone. Nia got hurt."

"Nia got hurt." Nox parroted back to him, "Nia can make her own decisions. She's an adult. A very beautiful adult that..." Nox paused as he stared vacantly into the night.

"I forgot my point." He admitted after a moment.

"You don't get it, Nox. Look at how people are. Look at Matrill, willing to burn that place down even though he knew there were people still inside. People take the safe and logical option time and time again. They let others suffer because they're too weak to do the right thing. The world doesn't care if I'm tough for an eleven-year-old. It doesn't care about right or wrong, good or evil. I care. I care about those things. I can't just walk away and take the easy option. I can't control the world, but I can control myself. I can become strong, strong enough to protect those I care about, strong enough to not need to give in to the constant little compromises to evil that people do to live." Refenial paused for a breath and realized he'd been ranting.

Nox slowly sipped at his jug, avoiding eye contact with Refenial as he did. he lowered the jug wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Do you think people can ever reach the point where they no longer have to compromise to protect themselves and their loved ones, to always be able to do the right thing? That's assuming knowing what's right is even easy to begin with."

Refenial considered Nox's words. "Even if I fall short, the stronger I get, the more I can do to make good decisions. If I'd been too weak to stand up and act against you and the others, you would have burned down that house. Maybe I couldn't stop Nia from being hurt today, but I saved three lives, and maybe next time, next time, I will be strong enough."

Nox smirked at Refenial. "When you say it like that, I almost believe you."

Refenial smiled at Nox's words.

"Oh, Helus was worried about you."

Nox, who'd been mid-sip, sprayed booze onto the snow.

Nox looked down at the jug, his expression growing dark. "Fuck Helus." He said in a slow murderous tone.

Refenial watched the man, surprised by his venomous response.

Nox spoke, "He believes in everything that the Systemic Order preaches, all their awful views. He'd quite happily see my entire family tortured and killed if he knew I was a ghoul. I hate him and every one of his monstrous cult."

Nox took several deep gulps from his jug, seemingly finishing it.

He spoke again. "I thought I hated him before when I thought he was irredeemably evil, but he saved me from that monster. He risked his life to save me even though he knows I hate him.

That's worse. It's worse now because I know he's capable of good. He can be good, yet he spouts that evil drivel with a smile on his face."

With his face twisted in a hateful grimace, Nox raised his hand containing the jug high and threw it hard with all his unnatural strength. The jug shattered on a rock sending shards of pottery flying.

Nox held his head in his hands, "Sorry, I'm sorry, Refenial." He said softly.

Refenial looked up, searching the cloudy sky for any hint of the moon, "Remember the day we met. I asked you about why the others hated Nia so much, and you told me it was because they feared the unknown. Wouldn't those same caravaneers have hated you if they'd known you were a ghoul?"

Nox looked up, a sardonic smile on his face. "Probably. No, certainly. The difference is their hate is unthinking and predictable. They hate because it's easier than understanding, not because they actually care or have thought through their position. Helus, oh, Helus and the whole Order, they're another beast entirely. They're not scared peasants hiding from the unknown."

Refenial thought he saw a glimpse of the moon for a brief moment between the clouds. "So what are you going to do?"

Nox opened and closed his hands for several long moments before he spoke. "What can I do? I can't make Helus a better or a worse person than he really is. I will get up tomorrow, curse myself for drinking this much, cringe at this conversation and get on with my life, one moment to the next."

"Helus will want to check on you; make sure you're ok."

Nox chuckled darkly. "I considered killing him tonight more than once. Maybe it'd make the world a better place if there was less people like him in the world..."

Refenial listened as the words hung in the air, an unspoken 'but' clearly hidden at the end.

After an uncomfortably long moment, Nox spoke again. "But, even if it would make the world a better place, I'm not a murderer. Once I start going down that line, there are so many people, awful people in the world. Once I started, I'm not sure if I'd know where to stop. Maybe it's selfish of me, maybe I could make the world better, but I know I'd make myself a worse person."

Refenial didn't have an answer to anything Nox was saying, so he sat in silence.

Nox pulled himself into a rigid upright sitting position. "Ugh, I'm sorry, I'm making a mess of all of this. It's not fair that I'm burdening you with all this. Don't worry, though. To answer your question, when Helus checks up on me, I will treat him no more or less than how I treated him before, with anger and contempt but with civility. I'll do it not because it's the right answer but because I'm not sure there is a right answer."

Nox stood stretching, "I've drunk too much, it's been a long day, and I'm tired. I'm going to bed. Are you coming back to the camp?"

Refenial shook his head, "No."

Nox looked down at him.

"No, I want to sit quietly for a bit. We're inside the village walls. There's no risk of monster attack tonight."

Nox nodded. "Night." He said as he wandered off, staggering slightly.

[https://i.imgur.com/oMrGBK6.png]

Refenial waited until he was sure the ghoul was long gone before pulling out the silver bell. He looked down at it as it caught a hint of moonlight on its surface.

He'd held off, held off on accepting Griselda's help out of fear. After today, he knew he couldn't let fear hold him back any more. Maybe Griselda was one more monster in the dark, but unless he was willing to step into the dark with her, he'd never know for sure.

He held the bell between two fingers and gently rung it as he guided Mana into it. The sound the bell made was gentle and delicate.

He stopped ringing it after a moment, the silence seeming to fill the void of noise.

There was a flap of wings, and a crow landed on the snow in front of him. It turned its head in silent curiosity.

Refenial stared back, knowing this was his last moment, his last moment to put the bell away and close the door on trusting Griselda.

"I need something to heal Nia's leg and something that explains stats."

K-kaw, the crow squawked in assent before taking flight into the night.

Refenial looked up, seeing the moon clearly through a break in the clouds, though he was unsure if this was a good omen or bad.

[https://i.imgur.com/3vZaHAB.png]