Needless to say, a lot has been going on that, somehow, the murder has been at the back of my mind. With the whole kill a living creature for your place in the church thing, no longer am I just the one trying to catch the killer – I'm the one about to be the killer. And then there is whatever is going on with Apollo, something I try not to think about due to how incredibly confusing it is

When I awake in the morning, I realise that I haven't asked Timmy about why he mouthed that God was real when he found out that Father Darius had died. I obviously don't think a small child ripped a man's head clean off, but he knows something. If there's anyone who knows what Father Darius might have done to make any enemies, it would be him.

I stare at the roof for a while and sigh. I'm a sinner, and I think it's fair to assume that if Lupine punish sinners, I could be the next target. If someone is targeting the higher-ups of the church, Larious will be next, then eventually I will be on the line. If you don't like a religion enough to call its God a liar, eventually you're going to go for the one who's meant to be its prophet to show that he's an ordinary mortal man. You want to kill anything that gives it hope.

All I know is I have to get to the bottom of this to save my skin.

Right now, my only real suspects are Larious and Miranda, and I struggle to even think of the second one. The only real evidence against Miranda is that she was missing when the murder happened and that she can play the piano. She also didn't have much of a reaction when she found out there was a murder, which I will admit is suspicious. But she couldn't rip someone's head clean off. Unless of course, she befriended a Lupine and got him to do it, which… well, although I don't like to admit it, I think that could possibly track. Miranda has never liked the church or shared its view, and befriending a Lupine could be an act of rebellion for her. The only reason she stays is because of how far we are from civilization. She knows that the church will happily just let her die if she tries to escape. The only people that live nearby are Lupine.

I freeze. The only people that live nearby are Lupine. Miranda's boyfriend; could it be possible that her boyfriend is a Lupine? Could he have something to do with this? She was rather secretive about the guy. She'd said she didn't want me to lose respect for him like I knew him, but could that have been trying to throw me off the trail?

I slide my hands so hard down my face that I tug at my eye sockets. She could genuinely be in danger here.

I try to think of what her motive could be. I know she doesn't like the church, and I know that she wants to rise up the ranks. Is she picking off people to make her own rise to power easier?

I shake my head. I feel bad even thinking about this. There's no way it's her – I'd know if she was capable of something like this.

I try to think about Larious instead. Larious, like her, also wanted power. He declared himself in charge a mere hours after the murder and I think everyone was too afraid to challenge it. For him, the church was never strict enough, and I remember there being rumours that he never liked how Father Darius did it. The main difference between him and Miranda is that I think he might be capable of killing someone. After all, he is sending me and Miranda - the one destined for power and the one seeking it - on a possible death mission to kill a Lupine. Usually, it takes years of specialized training before you do something like that, while we've only had basic firearm training and studied wolf theory. And everyone fears him. People in this church warn you of defying Larious, but never do they ever dare to mention why.

Larious also seemed to threaten Miranda with the whole dungeon statement. She hasn't started doing her work in there yet because she's been helping me with the recital, but when she does, I'll make sure she tells me what's in there. Assuming she gets out to tell the tale.

My plan of action is follows: Speak to Timmy, find out more information about Miranda's boyfriend, and find out what's in those damn dungeons.

The rain has cleared. Streams of glowing sunlight seep through the window. I reach my hand up and touch the light, my fingers passing through it.

I think about the whole Luminous One thing. I don't know if the dreams I've been having with Apollo are real or not. Given my supposed destiny of being his prophet, it might actually be me communicating with him. But it just felt so… unreal. Apollo just seemed too perfect. He's everything I ever wanted in a God. And what he said was everything I'd wanted to hear from him. It feels almost too good to be true. What's the catch here? Are they all just dreams concocted by my mind?

I curl my fingers. Either way, at the recital, I'll find out. If he's there, I'll know if the dreams are real and that I really am a prophet.

I stare up at the ceiling. Will I get to meet Apollo in person?

There is a knock on the door.

"Lorelei, please get dressed," comes Larious's voice.

I freeze. It's the terror himself. I think of the Lupine book that's hidden under my mattress and my heart stops. It's one that talks about mate bonds. He's not going to want to come in, is he?

"Just a minute!" I say.

I get up and pull on my clothes. I check myself out in the mirror, realising my blond hair that tumbles just past my shoulders is tucked into my shirt. I pull it out and check the mattress to see if any evidence of the book hangs out, but I don't think it'll be noticeable to him. Still, my heart is racing.

I open the door where Larious' tall, thin frame towers over me. His bald head, rimmed with grey hair, and long neck make him look like a vulture, the floaty sleeves of his robes tucked into his sides like wings. Despite scavenging away on those he deems unruly, he looks like he's never known a good meal in his life. The white fabric makes him float about like a ghost as he moves.

"We have a guest for you and Miranda," he says. "It's your teacher for the Lupine hunting training."

I feel the blood drain from my face. The Lupine killing thing is actually going to happen? Does he actually want us dead?

"Lorelei, I want you to know that I am hard on you because you are the Luminous One. One day, you are destined to lead the church. You must be up to standard."

"Yes," I stutter. I'm not sure what else to say to that.

Beams of sunlight flicker over our forms as I pass through the chestnut hallways and, eventually, we make our way into the main hall. It is warm but still in his presence, I feel chilled to the bone.

Unfortunately, I smell my new teacher before I see him. The stench of cheap booze assaults my nostrils. There, passed with his feet raised on the back of the seats, is the man we met the previous night, Rex. Drool is rolling down his chin and he snores loudly. The Lupine sits next to him, chewing on his cane like a giant chicken bone. I yelp and hide behind Larious, but I peek out. I can't help but stare at it.

Miranda follows behind us a few seconds later.

"This," Larious says loudly, "is the legendary wolf hunter, Rex Taylor. He's the number one freelance wolf hunter. Or was, anyway. He will be your teacher." Larious claps his hands together and

beams. I've never seen him smile like that before. "Good luck!"

Larious leaves and me and Miranda look at each other. Oh dear God, he really does want us dead.

The sound of sniffing, so loud it is like a vacuum, is heard. The Lupine looks up with the cane still in his mouth.

I cower. "Miranda, why is it looking at me?!"

Miranda is about to speak but is cut off by her eyes nearly popping out her head. The Lupine scuttles towards us half–walking half crawling like a chimp man. It stands to full posture and I feel my heart sink – gah, Lupine are so big! I flap my hands about my face like there's a bee about me and let out a dramatic, girly squeal. I keep thinking he's at full height and he just keeps going! I end up grabbing Miranda's shoulder and hide behind it. Why am I the one it's staring at? Can it smell fear?!

"Lorelei, stop being such a fruity little boy and calm down!" Miranda snaps. She spreads her arms out like a shield before me. "Stay back!"

The wolf boy leans into her arm and sniffs. He licks her hand.

Miranda swipes her hand to punch him but I quickly grab it to prevent her.

"Don't!" I hiss. You shouldn't be picking fights with creatures this powerful!"

Miranda glares daggers at the beast and slowly lowers her hand. A cold detachment brands her gaze; I can tell she's thinking about how easy it would be to take this beast's life. He's right here in our territory, so open and vulnerable with his teacher snoring. I shudder. It's really, really bothering me how unphased she is about killing a Lupine.

The Lupine opens one eye, still cowering.

"You scared him?" I mutter. I state it more as a question, genuinely confused as to why a gigantic beast like Icarus' would fear an unarmed human like Miranda.

I hear a lot of groaning. The commotion seems to have disturbed Rex's snores.

I stare at the Lupine and clench my fists. I have to get over my fear. I'm going to be killing one of these things. What can I do if I can't even look at one?

I squeeze my eyes shut and extend my arms, trying to let it see that I mean it no harm. I can only hope it means the same for me.

I shake as I hear a chorus of sniffing. Wow, this boy really likes to sniff. I open one eye and finally get the good look I want. The first thing that stands out to me is his eyes. They are a pale, milky blue, with a slight tinge of heterochromia – one is almost white. They almost appear to glow against the inky black entanglement of curls they peer out of. His skin is pale; to my surprise, he emits a smile as lovely as a beam of moonlight. A weary one creeps up my lips in response. These things scare me but it is the same morbid fascination as one might have reading a horror novel. I cannot deny that I am oddly enchanted by these things.

"Oh?" Rex mumbles. I feel his eyes on me and the Lupine.

Me and the Lupine just look at each other. Now that I've seen him up close and can see he isn't going to instantly grab me by the throat, I feel a lot more assured. It's like he can sense my fear slowly turning into wonder; there's something really pure about the vibe he gives that puts me in a good mood. It's like the rush of dopamine one might get looking at a puppy. Quite the opposite of the dark, dangerous creatures I've been told they are. He starts drumming his fingers on the wooden chairs excitedly. The action grows into a full-on thumping of his hand the longer I look at him. Suddenly, he bounces on the spot.

"Why is he doing that?" Miranda mumbles.

"Ic doesn't talk," Rex explains. "Don't know if he can't or just chooses not to. I think he does that to simulate the wagging of a tail."

Ic drops his cane and sits politely before me. He looks at me with large puppyish eyes, hand beating with excitement.

"Oh my God," Rex clutches his face and whispers in a baby voice. "He's giving you his cane…"

When I don't know what that means, Ic nudges my hand with the cane in his mouth. It is covered in teeth marks. I stand there, not sure what is expected of me.

"Well go on then!" Rex snaps. "Throw it!"

"Throw his cane?!" I spit. "Doesn't he need that?"

"Ic is only partially blind. I think he likes the challenge of trying to retrieve it."

"Wait, he's blind? But he appeared to be reading my face?"

"Lupine are very good at reading auras – ie, the light of your soul that determines what mood you're in. They use it to attract mates." Rex gets up and slips an arm around Ic's neck. "One day we'll find you a mate, won't we Icky boy?!"

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Ic starts smashing his hand against the chair as Rex ruffles his hair.

I've heard that before. It's how man-eaters are such successful hunters. They can manipulate mate-pulls, which is a very intense feeling of connection between a compatible pair. They trick the human into believing they are in love, sleep with them, and when they finally tire of them, feast upon their flesh and devour their souls – that's the reason they are known as hell hounds. They are very good at seduction and while no one knows what happens to a devoured soul, one thing is certain: it cannot return to His Radiance in the afterlife as the soul now belongs to the Lupine.

My face darkens. I shouldn't believe this facade. That Lupine probably wants my body and more, despite the innocent, puppy front.

Miranda voices my concerns. "Why is it like that?"

Rex narrows his eyes. "Like what?"

"Well, like a dog. Lupine can speak English and don't behave like that. It's weird."

"Why are you like that?" Rex counters.

"Like what?"

"Such a judgemental bitch?"

Miranda's mouth falls slack. It appears that Rex hasn't forgotten about the way she looked at Ic last night. "It was just a damn question!"

Rex folds his arms. "If you must know, Ic's parents were killed by the church. When they don't want to kill the kids or need funding for weapons they sell them to become Chains – Lupine that hunt other Lupine. The church was keeping him hostage for some reason, and I rescued him. I found him being raised by a literal dog.”

A chill rolls down my spine. “Why is the church holding Lupine?”

Rex shrugs. “Beats me. There's a lot of shady shit this place is up to. Part of the reason why I left.”

I shake my head. I don't know if I believe all this. Freelancers hunt Lupine for money and get angry when the church does it for free — as it should be. There's probably some bad blood due to us offering their service for free.

Yet still I find myself with the urge to ask questions. "You used to be a member?”

“Yes. I escaped with the help of Ic.”

I frown. Usually, those who leave are ostracised – well, most don't survive the journey back to civilisation. What he's saying has enough holes to make me doubt it further.

“Why did they invite you back?” Miranda asks.

Rex places his hands on his knees and kneels to her height. “They pay me money to keep my mouth shut, kid. They probably would have killed me if I didn't get my hands on a bunch of their weapons and didn't have Ic to protect me.”

Miranda's eyes darken. “What do you know about the church?”

Rex shakes his head, his unruly brown hair flying about the place. “I won't be telling you, kid. I'm just here for my pay.”

Lines of concern wrinkle my forehead. How can it be true that they're paying him money for his silence? We help rid the world of dangerous Lupine and shelter orphaned children. What could we possibly have to hide?

No. Nothing he is saying can ve true. These people sell Lupine cubs into brothels to house them until they're old enough to work. Sex with Lupine, or even man-eaters is a big… well, fetish due to their ability to share pleasure via mate bonds. These people give those monsters a taste for humans and then sell people the service of killing them when they get out of hand. Nothing he says can be trusted.

Rex makes his way to his bag. He pulls out a contraption unlike anything I have ever seen in my life. It is a gun made out of crystal and silver; the general mechanical parts like the trigger are metallic whereas the part that stores the bullets is topaz. Inside the crystal is a small orb of light races about the place. It rattles violently almost like it's trying to break free, causing the whole gun to shiver.

“This,” Rex hands Miranda the gun ,“is a spirit pistol and that,” he points to the beam of light flickering within, “is the soul of a Lupine imprisoned within . When you fire the gun a tormented spirit rushes out. Maddened by its imprisonment, it will viciously attack anything that it sets its eyes on – which will hopefully be a Lupine. Just make sure it isn't you. This is the most powerful weapon in the arsenal against Lupine. It is also extremely illegal so keep your damn mouth shut about it.”

A chill prickles down my spine. There's… a person in there. I shake my head. We've been fighting Lupine on the premise that they lead souls astray from Apollo, but we're just trapping souls and doing the exact same. Isn't that extremely hypocritical?

Maybe I shouldn't consider this freelance a member of the church, I think. Yes, that's it. We'd never use weaponry like this.

But then again, didn't he say he stole the weaponry from the church?

Even if Rex is lying, the ethics off it all still haunt me.

“That isn't ethical,” I utter.

Rex gives me a condescending smile. “Kid. When you see what man-eating Lupine do innocent women, you suddenly won't give a shit about what happens to them. They deserve an eternity of pain and suffering for what they do..”

I glance at Miranda. Is she okay with this? She doesn't notice my worried glance and aims the gun with a shut of one eye. Her face is fierce with determination, completely unphased. She looks like she was born to hold that god-awful thing.

I slouch my shoulders. This isn't good. I questioned whether I could do this, and already I have a problem with the mere weaponry we use. We haven't even got to the damn killing part yet. Miranda offers me the gun and I shake my head, feeling nauseous. I don't want to even touch that disgusting thing!

Rex takes the gun off Miranda. “To fire this thing you'll need to sacrifice a fragment of your soul. You can only fire so many of these in a lifetime, so use it wisely.”

My face pales. We've been taught that we should kill Lupine because they steal souls, but now we're just stealing theirs? We're just throwing fragments of something so precious away just for the sake of mere killing? Am I, as a member of the Helioist Church, really expected to be okay with this?

I look at Miranda desperately. “Don't you have a problem with this?”

She takes a moment to respond, tone flat. “Lorelei, you don't really believe that shit, do you?”

I touch my chest, baring my teeth. “I'm the Luminous One! I have to!”

It may be easy for her to disengage, but this is my destiny we're talking about! I can't escape it even if I tried! God knows I don't want to be any sort of role model or icon — I'm a damn sinner!

Rex's lips tighten. “We'll see how long you last with that attitude when you see what a man-eater can really do.”

My pulse races. This is hypocrisy at its sheer finest. No human, Helioist or not, should be sacrificing their soul. I have to do something about this. This cannot be allowed to continue.

“You can change this,” a little voice in my head says. “You're the Luminous One. You have the potential to rise to power and put people on the right path.”

But to do that I have to gain influence. Power. To do that I have to… I have to…!

I gnash my teeth, feeling tears bubble in my eyes. I have to kill something.

I hang my head. It's so hard to accept that I have to kill something to set this church on the right path. Can something good really come of something so deplorable? Will I then be the one branded a sinner even if it is for the greater good?

Rex looks at me with cold eyes. “Perhaps this will be more to your liking.” He rummages through his leather bag. “This is an ordinary gun loaded with a silver bullet. You can use these things to damage a Lupine's regenerative healing, although, this won't bring down a more powerful man-eater. It can be fired as an ordinary gun or can be infused with your soul to propel the bullet. As creatures who manipulate others with their soul, interfering with a Lupine's soul with your own is the best way to counter them.”

I clench my eyes shut. It is certainly not to my liking. I don't even want to look at this thing, but I know I have to. Trembling, I take it in my hands. It's so much heavier than I expected; I can feel the weight of my forthcoming actions in its mass. Holding the cold steel in my hands, it all becomes real to me.

I am going to be in a position where I will have to kill or be killed. I will be firing this thing.

I look at Miranda, heart pumping nauseous anxiety throughout my body. I don't know whether to admire her or be disgusted by how little this phases her. I pass her the gun, wanting it out of my hands as quickly as possible. She doesn't look at me. How can she remain so calm about having to literally take a life?

“Finally, this is a soul taser.” Rex finds the last disgusting contraption from that bag of nightmares. It is a misshapen oddity formed of topaz and silver, two materials good for conducting the soul. It has two nibs of silver at the front and a very thin wire of the metal. “These can obviously only be used at close range, and it works by stunning the Lupine's soul with the interference of your own. This will render them paralysed. Like the other guns, you'll have to channel your own soul to use it. To channel the soul, you'll have to want to harm the Lupine.”

Want to harm the Lupine. Hahaha. Something I'm already extremely lacking in.

Rex straightens his spine. “Tonight, I want you two to meet me at the shooting range at midnight. We are going to practice firing these weapons.”

Miranda nods. I want to puke. Already, I have a problem with the ethics of these things. We've not even reached the murder part yet.

It's going to be really difficult for me to even use these weapons.

******

Me and Miranda spend the rest of the day practicing for the recital. Not only am I going to learn how to kill, I will also be performing for my God. There is so much pressure on me it is unreal – the weight of the Luminous One destiny is really starting to strain me. I have to do a good job. I have to please him so we may have his protection back upon the church and stop the murderer once and for all. So much weighs on my performance. I have to show him how much I love him with my voice alone.

I sing with all my heart. I sing away all my anxieties away; when I am singing, I am free to express myself. I sing until my throat aches, until my heart wells with love for Apollo. Knowing what is to happen tonight, I never want this moment to end. I let my voice glow with all the bottled up emotion that strains my chest.

When it is time for dinner, I see my target. The hall is bustling with bodies and chatter but there is Timmy, sitting alone at the dining table. I wonder if this kid has many friends; he always has this grim expression on his face that I assume must scare people off.

I rush my way through the crowd.

“Timmy –”

“No.”

I pause. Timmy's voice is insanely flat. He chews slowly on his meal, not even regarding me with a single glance.

I take a seat next to him. He shifts one seat away.

I decide to just go for it.

“Timmy, if you can tell me any reason why Father Darius would have any enemies you can help catch this killer. You and me together.”

“Don't care,” Timmy spits. I've never heard a child speak with such cold malice before. His youthful face does not match the icy harshness of his words. His eyes look a thousand years old opposed to twelve.

I narrow my eyes. “You really don't care if people die?”

Timmy says nothing, sucking in his lips.

I stare at him in silence for a moment. Just what could make a child act this coldly?

“Timmy,” I say seriously. “Maybe that Lupine killed someone you didn't like, but if it is allowed to run free, it won't always be that way. It might be your friend, or even you next. This is serious. It needs to be caught, and I need to know what Father Darius did. ”

“Lorelei,” Timmy whispers. His voice is quiet and filled with anger, but it falls into a feeble break. He looks straight ahead, defying all eye contact, but I can see the sparkle of tears filling his iris that he is so clearly trying to hide. His bottom lip quivers as he scrapes his nails across the table into a fist. “I will never, ever, speak to you.”

I sit there, stunned. Timmy gets up and leaves. I don't bother chasing him. I can see that there's no coercing it out of him, and I don't want to cause a scene in public. I slam my hand down on the table with frustration; I rack my brain for an explanation of what would make a child act this way, but can come up with nothing that the church would realistically do.

I bare my gums. Just what did Father Darious do to this kid?

I'll admit that despite the church also being an orphanage, I have no idea how to handle kids. A lot of them parrot the beliefs of adults without really understanding them, which results in a lot of… stares about my appearance. Whenever I do interact with them, I get a lot of “why are you like that? Why do you dress so weird?” questions that I don't know how to answer, so I generally try to avoid them. I have no idea how to get close to him to get the information out of him, but the more grim Timmy's reaction, the more important I think it is. I must find a way to talk to him. I must find a way to befriend him.

I decide to eat, trying to rack my brain for a solution. I come up with nothing.

I have my dinner on my own. I'll be seeing plenty of Miranda later and it won't do us any harm to be apart for a while. I want a bit of space. She's giving me a lot of reasons to believe it could be possible for her to kill.

I'm not on clean-up duty after dinner today. At this time, a lot of the older kids congregate and play board games – all phases of worship are done for the day, so we may relax. I've never liked hanging out in large groups, and I've never felt at home with the rest of the teenagers. They don't say anything around the adults, but when we're alone they make snide comments and stare. So I go to my dorm with the plan to read and study until midnight. The one good thing about my identity is that it allows me to have a room to myself. Something Miranda is insanely jealous of.

I collapse onto my bed. I intend to go read, but in the end, I just can't stop thinking about him. Apollo. My beautiful, perfect God. I wrap a blond lock around my finger and fiddle with it; he makes me feel so strange, I'm all warm and fuzzy inside, elated, yet, irritated, as if there's an itch I can't seem to scratch. I think of how he held my hand and butterflies flutter through me. I think of his perfect beaming smile. Those eyes like an endless golden galaxy. I roll over, all giddy inside. He said he loved me. I want to celebrate, but I just can't seem to believe it to be true. Perhaps I misheard him. Perhaps he was just trying to be kind and not speaking earnestly. Perhaps he was trying to test me by making my heart utterly melt for him.

The words “your God is a liar flash in my mind.”

I grit my teeth. No. That's what the killer wants me to think – they want to sew doubts in my mind. I can't let them get to me. But… could a God really love me? What is there to love? I'm just my weird self, the only one of my kind in the church. No one has ever loved me for who I am. At best they only ever tolerate me. Just what is there to love about something so queer as myself?

I sigh. I decide to do some reading. I'll study some wolf theory in preparation for the hunt.

I grab a book and bury my nose in it. Yet, even as I read, the image of Apollo's smiling face and beautiful body linger at the back of my mind.

I shake my head, trying to focus. I have to get my head in the game. Tonight, I'll be firing those disgusting weapons. Anxiety quells in the pit of my stomach; I can only pray that I can actually fire those things, otherwise, my mission of setting the church straight will be a failure. I have to get this right to save the souls of my followers and every other human thinking about firing those things.

A lot rests on the upcoming full moon tonight.