The shadows immersing Larious's features feel as though they are increasing tenfold all of a sudden. His cold, calculating gaze seems to weld my skin like a branding iron; so many people are watching and whispering that I feel heat cling to my face. Oh God. Oh God, oh God, oh God! Why am I doing this again?!

"Lorelei." His eyebrows raise and his lips tighten. He looks as though he can't believe what he's seeing. In fact, I can hardly believe it myself. "Leave."

I fidget. The last thing I want is to be sitting here, but I don't think this is the time to be leaving people alone with one another. Especially young women with weird old men. I remind myself of this and grip onto the seat like a vice, nearly having to chain myself to the damn thing so I don't leave her alone in her time of need.

Time seems to be passing very slowly all of a sudden; I find my pulse racing even from a simple act of defiance like this.

"Fine,' Larious says sharply. "I've been wanting to speak to you anyway."

I sink into my seat and slouch my shoulders. Oh dear God, what does he want?

Larious seems to have had enough of me. I'm not the biggest problem here.

Miranda folds her arms. I wish I had the spine that she has to glare at him so venomously; she retains her posture, head held high as she shoots daggers into his skin.

"How about the pair of you step into my office?" Larious asks as though it is a question, not an order.

Me and Miranda glance at each other. I'm relieved about this development; a chorus of murrmurrs resonates all around me—I don't want to be subjected to these stares a moment longer. I can only imagine the gossip that is going to be circulating about us.

I get up and we walk in silence to Larious' office. I tuck my head into my neck, feeling very small all of a sudden. He does not hold the door open for us.

I note that, for a room in a building in worship to a god of arts, his office is exceptionally plain. The claustrophobic walls are plastered with a monotonous grey as dull as Larious' sermons themselves; there is not a lick of creativity nor anything but the bare necessities to brighten up the place. Not a single trinket or piece of paper slips out of line. My imperfect self feels out of place here—this office is as prim and proper as he.

Larious takes a seat and the two of us follow. My leg absentmindedly vibrates and I rub my sweating palms across my trousers. Larious' punishments are notoriously brutal. What's going to happen to us?

Much to my surprise and immense relief, the hardened glare on his features softens. Larious touches his chest and speaks in a gentle tone.

"Miss Miranda Salem," he says. "I am simply trying to save your soul."

Miranda slouches in her seat. Those brown eyes of hers – the hue of tree bark kissed in golden sunshine – burn with defiance.

"My soul does not need saving," she says sharply.

Larious sighs. "Miranda, I will tell you a story," he says, spreading his palms in an open-armed gesture. "My mother. She was a prostitute." His brow furrows and he licks his lips. It takes a moment for him to collect his mind. "She got pregnant with me. She could have aborted me unethically like others in her line of work would, but she decided to keep me. And so, she worked tirelessly to feed me. Despite being caught up in such a deplorable scene, she had a good, kind heart. Things were tough though— she was a single parent, after all. So she started sleeping with Lupine. Male Lupine love human women and will pay good money to sleep with them." Genuine sadness clouds his eyes. I genuinely did not realise he had a heart. "She was…” Larious pauses and his mouth twitches to the side. “...eaten.”

Miranda's expression remains still. The air hangs with a heavy silence.

“Don't you see?" Larious touches his chest. There is exasperation in his voice, and I can tell he is speaking from the heart. "Lupine are naturally drawn to sinners. God put them on earth to punish the bad, but my mother was nothing but kind. So, obviously, it was her sexual nature that damned her— why else would god take such a kind heart? She was literally killed while having sex. The message could not be any clearer. If you do not see the error of your ways…" His voice flatlines and his eyes flare. "That will be you."

Miranda bares her teeth. She sucks in her lips to hide it; she looks as though she is doing all in her might to suppress an outburst.

"I told you," she snaps, "God himself told me it was okay!"

"Stop lying!" Larious bellows. He slams his hands onto the table. No longer is there a gentle cloud of his eyes — she has gone too far. To save these preposterous things is one thing, but to say them in God's name is utter blasphemy.

“How dare you sprout such… such…!” Larious seems to struggle to find the words to describe what she just came out with. “Such deplorable nonsense! You've never shown a lick of interest in God nor worshiping him — why would anyone ever believe that you have been visited by God?!”

Miranda's folded arms tighten. “I think the fact that I've never been interested in God until now is the exact reason why you should believe me.”

Larious eyes bulge and his face boils with anger. It takes a moment for him to speak. I am genuinely afraid for her; he clasps his hands and shuts his eyes. I am unsure if he is praying for her or trying to stop himself from grabbing her by the throat.

“Miss Salem,” he says calmly. His voice is unnaturally soft yet he speaks through his teeth. “The Lumina is clear on its stance on sex. His Radiance was subjected to an eternity of grief after soul-bonding, a sex ritual that shares pleasure, pain and even thoughts and emotions between the pair, with his deceased wife. The message about sex being bad is painstakingly clear."

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Miranda opens her mouth and I grab her wrist beneath the table. No more. Even if it is true, he's not going to listen. I don't know what happens to members of the church that have sex. I don't want her to find out. Even if she is just kicked out, we live hundreds of miles away from civilization. She will not survive her journey through the Lupine infested forest.

Sensing my anxiety, Miranda closes her mouth. Her stare is still pointed, however. Clearly, she is doing this for me.

“Normally, what you've done would constitute a very severe punishment, however, I will be lenient as long as you do not do it again," Larious snaps. "I will be sending you to work in the cellar, and when you get down there and see what's in there I want you to remember…” Larious leans back in his chair and clasps his fingers together in a pyramid. “That this is a warning.”

I freeze. What on Earth is in those dungeons?

Sensing my anger festerising, Larious peers up his glasses at me. His face does not move a muscle.

“And as for you, Lorelei,” he spits. “What is this…this… gender nonsense? Is this a damn ruse? Are you trying to have sex?”

My stomach prickles with aggravation. I had wondered when this was going to come up. In the church, high-ranking priests (which technically I could one day apply for if the whole Luminous One thing works out) may have sex once for the purposes of procreation. Women, on the other hand, are never ever permitted to.

My eyes flicker away. I've never met someone else like me. I don't even have the vocabulary to describe what I am, nonetheless figure out why I am like this. I've never gotten any sexual kick dressing like a man like Larious seems to think I have, but I have always been drawn to the same-sex mate bonds described in the forbidden section of the library. Particularly the kind between two men.

I hang my head with shame. I hate myself. My wounds are wide open for Larious to twist the knife in.

“You are the Luminous One, Lorelei,” he hisses, “the one foretold to be the prophet of Apollo by her natural ability to use light-based magic. And you have the audacity to not like the miracle of a body you've been given? You'd spit in the face of Apollo by telling him he was wrong in his vision for his creation?”

The lump in my throat sinks all the way to my stomach. He's right. He voices the exact same concerns I had as soon as I realised this about myself. By doubting my own gender, I am doubting my own God.

I don't know what to say.

Miranda leans in and speaks in my place. “By being true to himself Lorelei is honouring Apollo's vision for him. God made him this way.”

My head snaps up and my eyes widen. A sparkling warmth envelops my chest. It pulses through my veins all the way to the tips of my fingers.

I've wanted to hear someone say those words my entire life.

Suddenly, she looks so great with that aura of rebellion flaring all around her. I remember her claim that God chose her. I now want it to be true so bad. I've always felt like she should have been the Luminous One, not me. She's clearly the one most motivated for change and leadership.

Much to his look of utter dismay, Larious does not retort that. He glowers, however. It's really not his place to say what Apollo's vision for me is.

“I think the two of you have wandered astray from God, so I will be putting the two of you on a strict regime," he eventually hisses. Clearly, I can see the gears turning behind his eyes. "Firstly, the church will be holding a ceremony to honour Apollo. Miranda, you will be playing the piano, and Lorelei, you will be singing. The two of you will not screw this up, do you hear me? Apollo is obviously displeased with us and we need to rectify that. We do not want to anger him further by doing a bad job." He turns to me. "Lorelei, I'd like you to put on a dress for the special occasion. You will need to present in a way that is pleasing for Apollo.”

I snap out of my trance. Suddenly, I had been very interested in how Miranda's messy, golden curls glisten in the sunlight.

Wait, what?

Suddenly, my skin is itching. The more I think about wearing a dress, the more the sensation multiplies like insects crawling over me. Suddenly, I feel nauseous. Why does something so small bother me so much?

I'm struggling to speak up for myself. It's such a small thing that I know he isn't going to understand. I should be able to fulfill such a simple request, but for some reason, it makes me feel sick.

Miranda looks at me and speaks when I cannot. "Can't you see that that is genuinely distressing to him?" she snaps. "And he is pleasing to Apollo as he is!"

Larious considers me as I sink into my seat. "Is it really that big of a deal?"

I hang my head.

"He pauses for a moment. "Tell you what then. Lorelei, as long as you aren't trying to become a man, I'll let you off with the dress. But you must prove yourself to me. Prove to me you are on the path God intended for you."

I release a breath. “How?”

Larious drums the tips of his fingers together. “I think it's time for the two of you to go on your first hunt. The two of you need to be reminded of what we are fighting against and why. If the two of you successfully bring me the corpse of a Lupine, I'll never pressure you about how you present ever again. Should you fail…” Larious' face turns stoney. “You'll have to dress as a woman. Once you are pleasing to him, I believe then that God will guide you to your true path.”

My heart sinks and I flash my gums. No, I don't want to have to kill something just to be myself!

“And why would we ever agree to something like that?” Miranda growls.

“This is not an optional choice. We are wolf hunters. Surely you must have known this day would come?”

I sigh. Yes, but I really hoped it wouldn't…

“It's not a thankless reward though,” Larious states. “I will make it worth your while for both of you. Bring me the head of a Lupine…" Larious says it slowly and clearly like it's a bribe. "...and I'll bestow upon the two of you the church's secret blood magic.”

“Blood magic?” Miranda whispers.

Magic is a huge deal for normal humans. It is said that those who use magic are chosen by God. They are naturally selected as leaders and sometimes even worshiped. It's not a big deal to me since I know I'm not special, but Miranda's eyes twinkle.

“This will be of interest to both of you," Larious adds. "Lorelei, as someone supposedly destined to lead our church, you will be needing this magic. It is a status symbol. Everyone with power in the church has it—you will never be taken seriously without it. And Miss Salem, as someone looking to grasp power in this church, you will absolutely be needing it. If the two of you want power you'll have to work your way to the top like the rest of us.” Larious' eyes darken and he leans back in his seat. “If the two of you want revolution as to how this place is run you will bring me the head of a Lupine.”

I find it unbelievably strange that he's even giving us this opportunity to rise to power, but Miranda nearly bites his damn hand off without even questioning it.

"We'll do it," she says, nearly bursting out of her chair.