Silence descends upon us both immediately after — broken only by waves washing over sand and wind blowing through the dunes — as those words sink into mind and soul alike. Then, without another word or glance towards me, Lucienne turns away once more and starts walking towards Eumelia still standing further up shore. As for me...
“Bullshit!” I scream after her — refusing to accept such a ridiculous answer — before leaping up myself and nearly tumbling over from a sudden spike of pain shooting through leg where icicle bit flesh earlier. Clutching my thigh, I hobble towards the rabbit girl as fast as possible without aggravating the wound further while calling out again, “By the Hunt, wait! You can’t just say something like that and just walk away afterward!“
“Sorry, but no matter how much you want it to be otherwise,” she calls back without turning around once, “it’s already been set in motion.”
“Set in motion?!” I repeat incredulously, fighting back tears while chasing after her as best as I can. “Are you serious?”
Lucienne pauses briefly — glancing at me over her shoulder with a mixture of sadness and pity — before continuing again with a sigh. “Alice, you need to accept it — there’s no way to change fate now.”
“Fuck you!” I scream at her back while limping forward, my pace faltering with each step as the pain in my thigh continues to intensify from all the strain placed on it. But despite this, I refuse to stop pursuing her completely. “No way to change it now? So why don’t we just lie down and wait for it to happen? After all, three of us will survive somehow, right? Is that—”
“Alice! Stop it! Please!” She whirls around to face me, her eyes gleaming with tears threatening to spill out at any moment. Then, with a sharp intake of breath and a shake of her head, she starts again with a softer tone. “Do you think I have any control over this? Or that I wouldn‘t do anything to change it if I could?” Her voice trembles with emotion — regret and sorrow, perhaps — as she continues speaking. “I may have glimpsed the future, but that doesn’t mean I’m the one pulling the strings.”
“So that’s it? You’re just going to give up and let it come to us, then?”
“That’s not what I said.” She lets out another sigh and brushes aside tears clinging to eyelashes. Then, with a deep breath, she composes herself once more before resuming. “Listen, Alice... This isn’t an easy conversation for either of us... I really hoped to avoid it altogether, but since you dragged it out of me anyway—”
“Dragged it out of you?! You—”
A raised paw silences my interruption. “—and given that we’re now stuck together regardless of our personal feelings or beliefs about each other...” she adds, ignoring my outburst entirely. “I suggest we take whatever time we have left before the inevitable arrives and focus on staying alive rather than arguing over things beyond our control.”
She stares at me for a moment longer — fluffy ears twitching nervously — before continuing once more with a determined expression on her face, “Three of your group will survive — and while I have no idea which three — I am gonna do everything in my power to ensure that it includes you, Alice.”
It feels like everything stops for a moment after she says this... As if the entire world itself pauses for a second in order to allow her words to sink in... Before everything resumes again abruptly as my heart pounds madly within chest — threatening to burst forth at any moment now — while heat rises towards cheeks until they feel like burning coals beneath skin. I open mouth several times — trying desperately to come up with some sort of response — only for words to fail me every single time.
When the silence between us grows unbearable, she takes a step closer, placing hands on both shoulders and standing on her toes to look me straight in the eyes once more. “And if you want one of those spots to belong to him, too,” she says — her voice barely audible above the sound of blood rushing through my ears — “then you need to steel yourself for choices you may have to make.”
At last, my tongue loosens enough to form sounds again. “What kind of choices?” I ask breathlessly, unable to break free from her gaze despite my best efforts otherwise.
“You know exactly what I mean by that. Stop avoiding the truth, Alice,” she answers with a heavy sigh — giving my shoulders a firm squeeze — before releasing them and stepping back once more. Then, turning away again — leaving me stunned in place — she continues onward without waiting for any further reply or reaction from me. “And get dressed up already.” She calls over her shoulder. “There are people who are depending on us right now.”
“Yeah, sure...” I mumble absentmindedly while watching her figure retreating further and further away. Once she disappears over the dune’s crest though, my mind starts working again...
Lucienne knows more than she’s telling — that much is obvious to me. But just how much does she know? Or is she just making all of this up to... To what end? And why go through all that trouble? So many questions fill me with doubts regarding her intentions yet... I have no choice but to trust her, do I? After all, I owe her my life — twice now, technically — and while our relationship may not be close by any measure, the system binds us tighter than even blood bonds... For better or worse, I guess...
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With a heavy sigh of my own, I trudge back to where my clothes lie scattered about, picking up each garment piece and giving it a quick shake to get rid of sand clinging onto the fabric before putting it back on.
But if she’s telling the truth — if what she has seen is really the future itself — what will I do when those choices come up? When it comes down to him versus everyone else... When it comes down to me versus everyone else... Can I choose one over all others? Or maybe this entire conversation was just an elaborate ruse designed to mess with me. Because honestly, if it was anyone else besides Luci saying that... Not a chance in hell! But with her, though?... If it means saving Nael—
Fuck! Stop it already! You don’t know anything for certain! There’s no point worrying yourself sick over possibilities and outcomes which may never happen...
The chilly breeze blowing across the beach sends shivers running down my spine as thoughts swirl wildly inside brain — one question after another, interspersed with doubts and worries alike — while my mind races to process everything that’s happened so far between me and the rabbit girl today...
She was right... I wish I didn’t drag this out of her...
By the time I’m dressed again — sword sheathed at hip and boots tied securely around calves — Eumelia and Lucienne have already disappeared behind the dunes ahead, leaving me with only sound of a gentle wind whistling past for company as I follow in their footsteps.
Despite how peaceful everything seems around me — how beautiful everything looks from up here — it feels like someone just tore out my heart out of chest without warning. And no matter how much air fills lungs or how fast blood pumps through veins, there’s no way to undo that fact or restore balance once more...
So instead, I focus on each step taken across the sand below — focusing all attention on every sensation experienced along the way — trying desperately to keep thoughts at bay for the time being. To not think about anything else right now besides what lies straight ahead until reaching wherever destination awaits. Not about my father, my mother. Not about my tribe... Not now... Not yet anyway.
As I crest the final dune separating the beach from our makeshift campsite behind, I can’t help but cringe inwardly at the sight awaiting me ahead. There is but one word to describe the scene before my eyes right now: pathetic. That’s probably being generous too... Pathetic doesn’t even begin to cover how pitiful the sight of a bunch of exhausted survivors huddled together under a tarp held aloft by a few sticks and one spear looks like right now.
Our bags lie scattered across the ground where we dropped them earlier, their contents half spilled out and covered in sand as we rushed to find anything useful for treating injuries after the battle. And there are plenty of those... Bloodied bandages litter the ground between makeshift bedrolls created from whatever cloth could be found in our supplies. Metallic scent of blood mixes with the foul odor of antiseptic salve applied across wounds everywhere, creating a disgusting combination which makes stomach lurch every time breath catches it.
Ironically, it’s the two most hurt, other than Nael, who took the role of taking care of others despite being barely able to move themselves. Alder, with his legs broken, is currently sitting by Enril‘s side and applying some of the medicinal paste onto his injuries — his breathing labored and raspy as if every breath taken causes great pain even in unconsciousness.
Eumelia, as the most experienced in healing techniques among us, is guiding him through the process — that’s all she’s allowed to do for now. As much as her help was needed earlier, it came at the expense of her own health, as she continued using anesthetic slime to dull the pain of her broken arms while treating everyone else. And while it was necessary at first, if she kept going at that rate then eventually — even if I can’t see that far into the future like Lucienne claims she can — even an idiot like me knows there are limits to how much strain body can handle without permanent consequences following afterward.
As for the rabbit girl herself, with Nael still out of the commission, she’s taken over the role of producing more healing supplies for us. But looking at how thin his bag has become already, it doesn’t look like they will last us long enough... Not long enough by any measure. Not even if she rations every ounce carefully and only uses small amounts when absolutely necessary. We’re running out of time... Fast!
“How is he doing?” I ask Eumelia while walking towards Nael. She doesn’t answer immediately though, instead focusing all attention on assisting Alder with whatever task he asks of her. After finishing up — giving him an encouraging smile, which he returns gratefully — she turns to me. “He woke up earlier, but fell unconscious before I returned.” She answers, glancing at her sister’s resting form further down. “Alder says he just mumbled something unintelligible... and laughed.”
“I can believe that.”
His body is barely recognizable through all the salves covering it like a second layer of skin and the blood seeping through bandages wrapped around each wound. He looks more dead than alive right now. Like a corpse being prepared for burial instead of being treated for injuries. It’s almost as if all those cuts and gashes running across every inch of flesh were made post mortem rather than during the fight itself...
But despite all that damage inflicted upon him earlier... Even with leg torn off and face mutilated beyond recognition — half of which hangs loose by mere threads at this point — Nael still keeps smiling even in his sleep... That infuriating grin of his seems to have been permanently etched onto his lips now and no amount of pain can change it anymore...
Still, seeing him lying there motionlessly — chest rising and falling ever so faintly as air fills lungs and exhales escape lips once again — brings some measure of comfort to me as well despite circumstances surrounding us both being grim beyond words. Because no matter what happens next or how everything ends up between us as time goes by after today’s events... At least he’s alive... Even among us gathered here — with a family member still next to me — I may be the luckiest one.