Her fur, filthy and matted with blood, clings to my fingers like wet clay; so unlike the silky strands I ran through my hands not that long ago. Now, they feel heavy and stiff beneath my touch, leaving traces of crimson on my palms. But still soft somehow — just barely...

It hurts so much... Yet also... Not nearly enough...

This emptiness within me where rage once burned bright is vast, devouring any light or warmth that comes near. It eats away at me hungrily, spreading far beyond what my skin contains. As if intent upon consuming the very earth beneath me whole, leaving naught but darkness behind once it runs out of prey nearby to consume. Because that is what remains once everything else falls away — even despair eventually gives way to nothingness.

My grip tightens, and I can feel her body tense under my hands. Her breath comes in ragged gasps, matching the erratic beat of my heart. As if the rhythm of life itself has become chaotic — no longer under our control — unable to maintain its steady course amidst turbulent waves crashing against it without mercy or respite. Yet despite my best efforts to hold on tight — to cling desperately to some semblance of control over reality unfolding before our eyes — everything slips through my grasp like grains of sand slipping between parted fingers.

It would be so easy to give in... To squeeze harder until flesh crumbles beneath pressure and bones snap apart from strain placed upon them... To twist around until joints crackle in protest as muscles tear and ligaments stretch past limits set by nature... To pull until veins burst open and arteries rupture completely, filling lungs with blood until breathing becomes impossible even for a moment more... To release all that pent-up frustration and anger in one final, decisive act that would end it all... It would be so simple...

But there is no spark left inside anymore to fan into a roaring inferno capable of such a deed — even just a small ember would suffice to bring forth the torrential flood of emotions necessary for carrying out these wishes — yet only ash remains where once there was vibrant fire blazing brightly.

Two crimson orbs gaze into mine pleadingly while a single word escapes trembling lips between shallow gasps for breath; “Please...” It hangs in the air between us — fragile and delicate as if made from glass itself — ready to shatter at the slightest provocation. Tears glisten in those scarlet pools, reflecting light shining through clouds drifting lazily above us. “Please... It’s so cold...” she whispers again through chattering teeth as her whole body quivers violently under my hold.

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale... Exhale... I’m gonna murder this rabbit, am I not?

I close my eyes and force myself to take slow, deep breaths while trying to calm down a bit before acting rashly again. It takes every ounce of self-restraint remaining within me to not begin wringing her neck right here and now. As tempting as it is to let go completely and allow rage to take over once more. To feel blood pumping through veins with every beat of heart, filling limbs with energy and warmth, burning away cold emptiness consuming me slowly. To scream until voice becomes hoarse and throat grows sore from exertion while clawing at flesh with bare hands until there isn’t a single shred left untouched by fingers or nails or teeth or anything else sharp enough to draw forth crimson nectar seeping within.. To collapse upon ground afterward with mind hazy from exhaustion and heart pounding madly within the chest, beating out staccato rhythm of life, until weariness overcomes me completely...

Instead... For now... Instead... Inhale...

“Alice...” Lucienne whimpers quietly, “it hurts.”

With a sigh of resignation, I release my grip on her shoulders and take a step back, allowing myself a moment to compose myself further before facing her again. But when my eyes open once more, she is already gone; the sound of splashing behind informing me she is rushing towards the shore with haste.

It is cold... The river water laps at my waist as waves roll over it — sending shivers down spine as cool air touches bare skin. After one final deep breath, I submerge fully into its depths and allow myself to sink into its icy embrace for a minute or two. As blood and grime wash away from hair and body alike under currents’ gentle caress, my mind clears somewhat from the haze clouding it previously. When lungs begin burning for oxygen, I kick off from the bottom hard — propelling upwards toward the surface where sunlight awaits patiently above — and break through its barrier once again with a gasp of relief.

It’s already late afternoon judging by sun’s position overhead. As much as I’d love nothing more than staying in here until nightfall arrives and darkness covers land once more, I know I’ve been putting it off long enough now — too long really — so there’s no point in delaying the inevitable any further. Besides, after fleeing God’s judgment and fighting to death against Its divine messenger, isn’t it pathetic to fear a simple system message? There is hope in ignorance though... That maybe if it goes unanswered, then perhaps everything could stay like this forever... Or is that just denial...

With trembling hands grasping onto nearby rocks to keep steady as waves continue rolling past, I close my eyes and brace myself mentally before speaking aloud: “Show status.” After a moment passes in silence while waiting anxiously for some kind of reaction from whatever forces guide this world we live in — whether it be gods above or laws inherent within nature itself — my eyelids crack open cautiously just enough to peek through a slit between them at what lies ahead. Sure enough, there they are... Those glowing letters floating right before me like ghosts haunting my dreams...

<< Name: Alice >>

<< Age: 18 >>

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<< Species: Elf (High) >>

<< Class: Dawnbreaker (Guardian: Unique) >>

<< Level: 0 >>

Zero. I knew it would be zero, but... It still stings nonetheless to see it confirmed like this. If Luci was next to me right now, she’d probably be saying something comforting, along the lines of “It’s only been a few days,” or “You’ve got time to grow.” But do I? Because it doesn’t feel that way...

<< Key skills: >>

<< Coordination - 2 => 5 >>

<< Perception - 1 => 4 >>

<< Dodge - 1 => 3 >>

<< Parry - 0 => 3 >>

<< Block - 0 => 2 >>

<< Misdirect - 0 => 2 >>

<< Light Weapons - 0 => 4 >>

<< Flameweaving - 2 => 3 >>

<< Dreamspinning - 0 >>

Seeing that “5” next to coordination already is somewhat reassuring. Even back in the village, increasing at over level a day in the beginning was considered pretty impressive. Though, that also means I’ve hit the first barrier to growth already. Dreamspinning, ah, dreamspinning... I’m not looking forward to this talk with Lucienne.

Below the key skills, hundreds of smaller entries scroll down endlessly — many of which are currently grayed out — but almost none of them catch my attention for longer than a second or two. The only real standout being vitality, that also hit five after the last night’s struggle. Despite that, I still go through them one by one — stalling for as long as possible before having to face reality again... Before having to accept things as they are now. Until I actually see it myself with my own eyes...

But as I reach the bottom of the list and read through that last entry, my heart sinks into my stomach and remains there for a long while after reading it. It was inevitable, but seeing it confirmed in writing hurts far worse than any physical wound inflicted upon me this far.

There is no hope left in ignorance anymore; no way to deny what’s staring me straight in the face. Not when even that one thing was taken away from me too... As if the entity behind creation itself decided to make sure there remained no room for doubt whatsoever. As if everything else wasn’t enough already: every single blow dealt to my psyche, every single wound inflicted upon flesh and soul, every single bit of happiness snatched away and replaced with sorrow; they still weren’t satisfied until taking this last piece away too...

<< Your closest kin (Faelon) has perished >>

With a heavy sigh, I dive underneath waves once more — letting current carry me along its course until lungs burn fiercely for air once more and body demands oxygen.

His whole life, reduced to a single emotionless system message. As if he was nothing more than a footnote in some historical text detailing events long since passed rather than the father who raised me up into who I am today and gave everything to keep us safe.

Even the emptiness within me cannot swallow this grief entirely — no matter how vast and all-consuming it may be — because deep down beneath layers of apathy lies sorrow waiting patiently for its turn. As I break through the surface once again and gasp for breath desperately, tears stream down my cheeks and sobs wrack through my entire being violently until I’m barely able to keep afloat anymore.

I want to scream out in rage against this injustice. To curse the heavens for their cruelty and disregard toward mortal lives. But even that seems pointless now, because it wasn’t just him that got ripped away from me so abruptly. My mother, my entire tribe, my whole home town and everything it represented as part of our culture — all gone just like that in one night...

All my life, the elders taught us to revere the Hunt. To worship It as something sacred above all else; not only a God, but an eternal pact between predator and prey where each plays their part and balance is maintained for the greater good. After all, according to them, it was only through Its mercy that our kind was spared from annihilation by the other races long ago and instead granted the status as blessed children of the forest itself...

So why? Why would It turn Its back against Its own followers now? Why would It send such an abomination after Its most faithful believers without warning? What crime did we commit against It that deserved this level of retribution? Did It grow bored after eons of worship and seek new amusements beyond what simple faith could offer? Or maybe we never mattered at all... Maybe we were never anything more than toys It used for Its own entertainment — nothing more than playthings destined to die out once they run out of utility...

<< Quests: >>

<< Kill the Rabbit (Active) >>

<< Follow the Rabbit (Active) >>

<< Kill the God of the Hunt (Active) >>

I will learn why. No matter how long it takes or how far it leads me, I will find answers to these questions someday. And if there isn’t any satisfactory explanation waiting at the end for me? Then, so help me gods themselves, I will hunt It down! I swear it upon the memory of those lost! Upon everyone taken from me unjustly tonight!

This vow resonates deep within my soul, echoing through every fiber of my being, filling the sore and battered body, giving me purpose once more. Though, what exactly is a promise worth coming from someone who couldn’t protect their own family? Or friends? Or anything at all, really...

It feels almost ridiculous now. To make promises to myself at a time like this. But perhaps that’s all I’m capable of right now — promising something beyond what little control I possess — trying desperately to give meaning to these events somehow. And yet... Even though I may not have enough strength for revenge at present. I may not have enough resources available or enough knowledge either. But now... Now, at least, I have a goal.

With this newfound clarity in mind and determination burning brightly within, I wipe away tears from reddened eyes before turning towards shore. In the distance, Lucienne waits patiently on dry ground for me, watching over me silently while drying her still pink fur under sun’s rays peeking between clouds above.

Before stepping out myself, though, I glance at the final entry of the status screen one last time. “Goodbye, father. Thank you for everything. And please... Forgive your foolish daughter for failing you completely,” I whisper quietly, hoping somehow these words reach him wherever he may be now. “Goodbye, mother. Thank you for giving life to me. And—” As I try to say goodbye to her as well, words catch in throat unexpectedly. Because among hundreds upon hundreds of system lines detailing everything about myself in excruciating details...

There is no message announcing her death.