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Hallowed Be The Menu
Chapter Forty-Six: Surprisingly Pleasant Forced March

Chapter Forty-Six: Surprisingly Pleasant Forced March

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Gone were the Riverglen and free sellsword companies, remaining near the Battletower and the hinterlands. Groman, Charlotte, Gael, and Karol were all left behind in the camp, standing guard outside the tower to ensure none could escape.

Calaf was the lowest-level member in a column full of level sixty and above Paladins in full armor. He was duly aware that he lacked a spear now, his trusty throwing spear having been embedded in Honest John’s torso. But at his ally’s level ranges his combat prowess would not be required.

It was a small column of elite church forces, all reliably loyal to General Perarde. With the Hammer of Faith at the head of the column, Calaf seldom got an opportunity to even see the hunter. But the group was relatively small, nimble despite their high-level heavy armor and more than willing to follow Perarde on the trail.

On this last point, Calaf was fully expecting to march from sunup to sundown for days, and maybe even overnight, on a forced march. To that end, things were quite pleasant. For level fifty or so Troubadours wandered about up and down the line, strumming on lyres and fiddles or blowing into flutes.

Merrily, these low-tier bards ensured that a bevy of buffs were always in play.

Various Bards Cast: Song of Speed

Effect: Increases Walking Speed for All Allies in Range.

Various Bards Cast: Song of Plenty

Effect: Provides Sustenance To All Allies in Range. Prevents Dehydration and Starvation Status Effects.

Various Bards Cast: Song of Awakening

Effect: Provides Boundless Energy to All Allies in Range. Prevents Sleep Deprivation Status Effects.

Troubadours jumped about in the wings. Bard magic was indeed handy, conferring benefits not covered by any Cleric, Battlemage, or Paladin-type spells.

They traveled north through the hinterlands, along some foothills, and back into the western plains. There, they stopped for Perarde to slay the Dire-worm in a quick bout of single combat.

Onward they marched, bypassing the Delta entirely and navigating some twisting badlands that served as a buffer between the arid plains and the fiery desert. This route kept them above the scorching sands. Firefield appeared during the night, a dim glow on the far-eastern horizon.

Still, they marched, experiencing neither fatigue nor thirst. They walked all night. When the sun finally began to rise in the east, they’d just reached an expanse of deciduous forest sloping gently higher to the north. These broad-leafed trees were colored in many hues of gold, red, yellow, and brown, and stretched far into the northern horizon.

The group continued marching until they reached a minor alpine trading post.

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Autumn’s Redoubt was sparsely populated. Its unique microclimate kept its dense forest in a continuous approximation of fall. This did not suit it particularly well for farming or ranching. It was hard to grow crops when it was perpetually harvesting season and never growing season.

There were a few taps for turpentine and syrup visible on the approach to the trading post and even on trees within the outpost itself.

Perarde dismissed his Paladins and Clerics for a scant few hours. Not because of fatigue on their part or anything, but because the Troubadours needed some well-earned rest.

With three hours to himself, Calaf first approached the trading post’s lone shop. He took a quick look at his cold coffers.

Gold: x67800

Whew. That was quite the haul. It included the bounty received and split with the party after the Battletower. And with a fresh shield in hand, it would be more than enough to acquire some at-level armor and a spear for the region.

The trading post was more just a series of huts and a depot. It wasn’t even on the pilgrimage route. But it did trade a fair bit with merchants trying to skirt around the desert. And for this reason, they had an ample supply of weapons

Item: Shortsword of Duran x4 (10000 gold) Description: A Short Sword in Style of the Knights of Fort Duran Du Loc. (Req: 16 STR, 21 AGL, 10 CHR) Item: Longsword of Duran x4 (26000 Gold) Description: A Long Sword in the Style of the Knights of Fort Duran Du Loc (Req: 42 STR, 34 AGL, 15 CHR) Item: Autumnal Woodman’s Axe (Enchanted) x1 (32000 gold) Description: Enchanted Wood Axe of Autumn’s Redoubt. (Req: 58 STR, 44 END) Item: Duran’s Flag-Spear x1 (38000 gold) Description: Flag Regalia and Accompanying Spear of Fort Duran Du Loc. (Req: 48 STR, 68 AGL, 45 CHR)

Calaf frowned. That was pricy, and the stat allocation didn’t quite mesh with his current distribution; too many points were required for Charisma and Agility.

“Do you have any spears or lances for slightly lower level?”

The quartermaster sighed and pulled up a second backlog list containing all the various types of spears between Autumn’s Redoubt and Riverglen. Basic Iron Spear was there for a whopping five gold. A Steel Spear o’ the Plains was there for a bit north of a thousand. And at the very top of the list, sorted by location and price, was…

Stolen story; please report.

Item: Redstone Spear of the Desert Nomads x12 (8000 gold)

Description: A Spear with a Hardened Redstone Tip Common to the Ancient Desert Oasis-Hoppers.

“I’ll take it.”

Calaf pulled up the trading window and provided the gold straight from his Inventory.

“Pleasure doing business with you,” said the quartermaster. Then, “If you’re in a church hunter’s regiment you probably want some heavier armor…”

And so, the quartermaster presented his armor wares:

Item: Mail of Duran (x4) (25000 gold)

Description: Heavy Banded Mail from Fort Duran. Typically Used By Paladins and Aspiring Paladins. (Req: Endurance 60)

Item: Desert Silken Mail (x2) (18000 gold)

Description: Desert-Forged Mail Under Silklike Threads. Offers Lesser Defense than Other Tank-Oriented Armors, but Boosts Agility

Items: Swamp-Wanderers Knight’s Armor (x1) (14000 gold)

Description: Armor Designed to Keep Even Fully-Equipped Knights from Accidentally Sinking in the Delta Swamps.

“First one, please.” Calaf already plopped his gold into the trading window.

Now fully equipped for a walkabout in Autumn’s Redoubt, Calaf took stock of what else he needed. His inventory read 34,800 gold. Just enough for something else…

“Do you have any spells? Specifically, those a beginning Squire of level forty may have?”

Again, the quartermaster sighed. He didn’t appear to get many customers going on a regular shopping spree at this time of year. Or ever. But he had wares all the same.

“Only got this,” said the merchant, and presented:

Item: Flaming Sword of Faith (x1) (15000 gold)

Description: Sets Your Weapon Ablaze with Cleansing Flame. Works on Any Melee Implement (And Arrows) Not Just Swords. (Req: 25 Intelligence, 25 Charisma, 10 Arcane)

Ah, a perfect spell for immolating any unwanted guests. But it was out of Calaf’s stat range now. Too much Charisma and Arcane. The Charisma stat should resolve itself in due time, but Arcane was a wilier beast. Even for mages, it liked to pop up randomly, or not at all for dozens of levels at a time.

Still, Calaf didn’t have to use it yet. He was preparing for the future, and both stats were just one particularly lucky level up away from fulfilling both requirements.

Calaf handed over the gold. Now his coffers stood at 19,800 gold. Still respectable. He headed back towards the road cutting through this forested trading post. A tired-looking troubadour was next in line, shopping for some new songs to play.

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General Perarde, Hammer of Faith and Paladin Exemplar stood on a rocky outcropping at an intersection some two miles past the outpost. He had no guards with him beyond a few other Paladins patrolling within ear and eyeshot.

“You’re all kitted out.” Perarde looked south, sheathed sword planted point-down into the rock, gazing over a sea of trees sloping down towards the high desert. “Good. Good. At-level armor is more important than a fully prepped weapon in this profession. You’re learning quickly.”

“Thank you, Sir Perarde.” Calaf said, standing straight.

“Do you know how the trees got this way?” Perarde asked.

Calaf looked to the sea of golds and reds along the path.

“Well, church sermons back in Riverglen said there was some kind of microclimate. Scholars at the Battletower and Clerics in Deepwood came up to study it sometimes.”

Perarde gave a characteristically implacable half-shrug. “That’s what they say. Might have helped. The whole forest glows in the moonlight. It’s subtle, but there’s a halo on every leaf. Moon is waning now, but it should be back by the time you leave.”

“What did you request I come here?” Calaf asked.

“You’ve had proper experience hunting and fighting apostates up and down the pilgrimage route. Why, one even killed your foster father, is that right?”

“That… is true.” Calaf ruefully noted to himself that it had been so long that the kindly Pryor Yordan’s face was not quite so clear in his mind any longer.

“So, you should have plenty of reason to wish to see this heresy put to the sword. Or spear, as it is.”

“Ah, but the Pryor wasn’t killed by these Cultivators,” Calaf began.

“Would you not slay the one who so ruthlessly killed the godly pryor who raised you?”

Trying to summon forth rage against Jelena proved futile, despite it all. Instead, Calaf mentally replaced her soft grin and eyepatch-clad visage with the snarky smile of Honest John. Now there was a face he could loathe – what was left of it, anyway.

“I… um, I would do my duty. Yes sir!”

Perarde wasn’t smiling. “Very well. Come. This should illuminate the situation.”

The pair walked up the pilgrimage path to another, larger outcropping. A miniature peak of a small mountain. And there, the pair had a perfect vantage over a tri-tower fortress and associated ramparts off the trail due north.

Fort Duran Du Loc. Something of a holy place for those on the path of the Paladin. It was said that the sainted Paladin of Yore was stationed there in the ancient past and was used by the old heroes as a font of pro-human, anti-demon rebellion.

Now, a fresh army camped out in and around this hallowed fortress.

“Riverglen and most of the southern stations are all run by the church,” Perarde said offhand. “Cuts out the middleman between the flock and the Holy Menu’s priests. But north of here, near the Olde Capital, there’s still lords and ladies. All Branded, of course. But there’s been… friction, between old secular authority and the church of late.”

Calaf looked out over the ramparts and the camp at the foot of Fort Duran.

“Are you sure we should be so close, sir?” Calaf asked.

“There is no danger wherever I happen to stand,” Perarde said simply.

“Of… of course, sir.”

“That rabble down in the hinterlands were the ones who found the heretical leveling artifacts, yes. But up here, nearer to the centers of power – that’s where the actual threat manifests. Several units of the regular army have deserted, declaring for a lord who claims that the church’s teachings, practices, the pilgrimage, are unnecessary at best. Why, even our crypt burials are derided as false. Do you recall a certain System Message to that effect?”

“Why me?” Calaf asked. “What can I do against this heresy that you cannot?”

For the first time since their march began, Perarde let out a chuckle.

“My soldiers and I are an infamous church hunter and church auxiliaries of some renown. We’d stick out like a sore thumb. But you…”

The question hung in the air. Then, when Calaf did not respond:

“… you, do not share our appearance, or discipline, or our training. But you are dependable. And you have proven your ability to resist heretical temptation in the past.”

“I see…”

“Which is to say.” Perarde pulled up a trade window.

Perarde

· Bronze Ring of Title-Spoofing (x1 of 2)

· Silver Ring of Level-Spoofing (x1 of 2)

· Gold Ring of Glamour (x1)

To:

Calaf

· None

“Wait. Never mind that.” Perarde exhaled sharply, then removed his Gold Ring of Glamour from the trading offer. It was a curio Calaf had never seen before. “Much better. Take these.”

Calaf received:

Item: Bronze Ring of Title-Spoofing (x1)

Description: Allows Wearer to Set His Title and Status to Whatever They Desire (Within Church-Approved Profanity Filters)

Item: Silver Ring of Level-Spoofing (x1)

Description: Allows Wearer to Set His Listed Level to Whatever They Desire (‘True’ Level HP and Stats Still Apply, Though They Will be Hidden Until Attacked)

“With these, you will be able to pass as a merchant, or civilian camp follower, or whatever alibi you can concoct.” Perarde’s full attention remained at the fort.

“These rings,” Calaf began. “Sir, is this… chivalrous? Surely, it’s a better task for a Scout.”

Perarde let out a huff. “Chivalry is a code of honor. The honorable thing is to smite all threats to your home and hearth before they do the same to you. If you could have hounded that murderer of your foster father to hell before the deed had been done, would you have not taken that opportunity without question?”

“I… I see, sir.” Calaf nodded but did not answer.

“Some of my fellow hunters have been harrying this rebellious noble’s troops for a week or two now.” Perarde angled his neck down a narrow footpath below the rocky outcropping. “They shall explain the particulars. Go forth, infiltrate this heresy with the full blessing of the church, and find out what you can about its leadership. With a decapitation strike, far more good will be done for the faith than simply running through low-level heretics out in the hinterlands.”

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