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Jelena.
The relic thief.
The murderer of the kindly old Pryor who’d raised Calaf from orphanhood and put him on this path of the faithful.
The heretic who’d put the entire pilgrimage at risk.
Jelena. Last name started with a T. That’s all anyone knew. Her identifier was scrambled in the Interface due to some heretical rejection of the Holy Menu.
And here she was. Wearing her eyepatch, that hair bonnet, and nothing else. The relic thief dipped lower into the hot spring; lips angled downward in a slight frown. She had not at all expected to be apprehended like this.
“I have you now, you murderous fiend!” Calaf declared with his chest puffed out.
Jelena’s cheeks flushed a dark shade. She averted her eyes.
“You, uh, really going to arrest me in the bath?”
So caught up in righteous fury was Calaf that he’d barely registered the transgression.
“I…” Calaf looked at her face, then down into the oh-so reflective water. “I… I didn’t see you playing fair in our fight not but a week ago! Surrender, knave, or it’ll be the spear point for you!”
“I’m sure.” The lower half of her face morphed into a deep frown. “Awfully dishonorable, confronting a lady as she bathes. Not very chivalrous.”
While the heretical fiend herself may have forsaken the Holy Interface, her personal effects could still be examined. One such Menu appeared as Calaf deftly looked anywhere but below her neckline:
Item: Silky Bonnet of Waterproofing
Description: Protects maiden’s and less-than-maiden’s luscious curly hair from the ravages of flowing water.
CHR -2, END +1 specifically for hair when properly tucked into the bonnet.
“Well…” now it was Calaf’s turn to blush. “Even so, at least I know you are not armed.”
“You got a fiancé?” Jelena asked.
“What?”
“A betrothed. Back in Riverglen?”
“Indeed.” Calaf’s thoughts turned to Deaconess Charlotte.
“Of course you do.” Jelena’s eyes darted up and around, remembering something. She grimaced – it must have been an unpleasant memory. “Sooo, would you want your dear betrothed to know that your eyes first laid on my naked, heretical form rather than hers?”
“I am not either laying eyes on anyone’s heretical form!” Calaf scowled. But it apparently told Jelena all she needed to know.
“Didn’t think so. Well, that’s what’s going to happen unless you at least let me get out of this bath and get dressed…”
“You have…” Calaf looked at Jelena, looked away, then glanced back. “… three minutes. Hurry up.”
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Calaf turned around. There was a sloshing sound as Jelena emerged from the bath, and then quickly dried off. Calaf was paying attention – audible only, of course – as Jelena got dressed.
Letting his foe get dressed and prepared was potentially foolish. But chivalry demanded it for any number of reasons. What kind of Paladin would he be in the future if he were to accost an unarmed and unclothed lady so? Yes, she was a heretic – but she was also a woman. Not – not that he was thinking anything about that right now, beyond what chivalry dictated.
At the very least, he hadn’t been stabbed in the back yet. Awfully decent of the honorless fiend.
“Ready, Hot Shot.”
Calaf turned. Jelena was back in tight-knit and functional leathers. Water caused the outfit to cling to her admittedly bombshell-quality curvaceous body. Not… not that Calaf was focusing on that or anything. Because he wasn’t. A tied-up corset covered in pockets still allowed for a fair bit of movement while further accentuating those curves. She’d have made a nice Scout class, to be honest. Her long boots were mismatched – one ending just below the knee while the other was maybe a finger’s length shorter. And she had fancy operatic church gloves – no doubt pilfered right off the fingers of an innocent nun, the fiend! She hadn’t gone for a knife or any other type of weapon. She’d stashed her stolen relics of course.
“Your reign of terror ends here!” Calaf grabbed his spear with both hands.
“Reign of what now?” Jelena’s eyes narrowed.
“You’ve plunged the pilgrimage route into chaos, you fiend. Terrorist! Your thefts from the holy reliquaries have been disrupting the level ranges of beast and bandit alike.”
Jelena pulled out the relic she’d taken out of Pryor Yordan’s cold, dead hands.
“Is that so?”
“What, is that not what you wanted?”
Impossible. Surely this was her purpose all along. She’d intentionally blocked their way north at Granite Pass!
“So, it throws levels off?” Jelena looked at the bauble, then tossed it about in her hand. “Huh. That… was not my intent. Guess this thing is valuable, then?”
“Priceless,” Calaf said with a scowl. “Hand it over, and submit yourself to the judgment of the Church, apostate!”
“Ah, well, you seem nicer than most,” Jelena said. “But I don’t think I will. Gotta make ends meet, see? And there’s goanna be gaggles of faithful pilgrims who’ll pay top gold for real, confirmed relics from the ancient heroes.”
“Huh. You’ve done all this just to sell the relics back to pilgrims?” Calaf scowled harder still. “Why… why would you even tell me this?”
Jelena shrugged. “You seem reasonable. It’s a rare quality for the god botherers. Plus, I’d hate to have my good name sullied as some sort of terrorist.”
Anger flared in Calaf’s heart. He even gained a surprise buff:
Buff: Righteous Fury
Effect: -5 to Dialogue-based categories; +10 to Combat. General debuff to agreeableness and reason. +15 to Overconfidence and Bravado.
You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.
Surely, there was no possible way he could lose!
“Have at you!” Calaf reared his spear back.
A basic thrust, which Jelena dodged again. He knew this was coming. And while he had to rely on the stats of the Holy Menu, his opponent could just cheat.
“You killed the Pryor. My foster father. Have at you!”
Calaf uses: Triple Thrust
Effect: Thrust Thrice, Damage Multipliers Increasing by 25% with each thrust.
Twice more, Jelena dodged. Then she dodged a third time and grabbed Calaf’s spear.
“Hey. That’s un-Menuly conduct,” Calaf said in indignant protest.
They were at a stalemate: unarmed Jelena up close, Calaf’s spear stultified. The relic thief smiled slyly.
“You hardly seem surprised that I’d follow you all this way,” Calaf said.
“What? Because I killed the Pryor, right? Oh, it’s as good a motivation as any.” Jelena’s smile widened. “I mean, it’s the same at every settlement. Pryors take in the local orphans of all those whose parents happened to die on the trail.”
“How would you know?”
“Eh, same way I knew you were betrothed. It’s a pretty common church practice, yeah?”
The pair continued to grapple over the spear. Calaf couldn’t exactly take another jab at her so long as she was this close. He was beginning to see why higher levels carried a smaller offhand weapon.
Calaf’s shield remained on his back, where he’d stashed it while two-handing the weapon. He reached around and…
Calaf Uses: Shield Bash!
Effect: Attack With Shield. Low Damage, Potential to Stun.
More dishonorable dodging meant that Jelena was not hit by the bash, though it did force her to abandon her grip on the spear. She leapt backwards.
“All this time I was under the impression you were some radical out to bring ruin to the Interface.” Calaf thrusted again, which Jelena dodged. “But in the end, you’re just a petty thief.”
“Well, no rest for the wicked. Gold doesn’t grow on trees, certainly not when you’re unbranded.” Jelena shrugged mid-fight. “Wasn’t going to go much further up the path, but now that you mention how valuable these things are I’m already formulating my next scam.”
Calaf Uses: Rushing Thrust!
Effect: Rush Forward and Give a Full-Force Spear Thrust. Damage Modified by Distance Traveled in the Rushing Phase.
The damage and speed multipliers were far too high for anyone to dare dodge! So instead, Jelena merely ducked down on one knee, picked up a globule of mud that sat beside the hot spring, then threw it directly into Calaf’s eyes.
Status: Blinded!
Effect: -50% Modifier to All Accuracy
Well, he couldn’t rightly hit what he couldn’t see! Still, Calaf rushed forward. He sensed Jelena off somewhere to his right, then before he could react, he received a swift blow to the backside that sent him sprawling into the warm waters of the hot spring.
Water flooded his armor. But at least he was only ankle-deep in the shallows. If he’d been kicked into a deeper pool the situation would’ve suddenly been dire.
Still, Calaf waded out of the steaming water in a huff. His amused opponent was still there.
“You’re not fleeing?” Calaf slowly, slowly waded back to high ground.
“Eh, it’s funny watching you try so hard.”
Something would have to be done to catch his opponent off guard. Potentially combat most unMenuly.
The option for what Calaf wanted to do did not exist in the Interface. Alas, he would have to give penance for this lack of faith later. But for now, he turned off the Interface, hunched over, and delivered a shoulder bash into the thief’s side. Not a maneuver the Menu would teach you.
Jelena let out a most uncouth grunt as she stumbled back. Her eyepatch jostled out of place due to the force of the blow.
Name:
Jelena TnOdRaTU
Status:
???/??? (-2 HP)
A hit. He’d had to go off-Menu, but he’d actually landed a hit. Even if it was scratch damage, Calaf’s ego went wild. He let out a triumphant ‘ha!’
Both of Jelena’s eyes were now unobstructed. One remained a rusty brown. The other was grey and glassy. The remnants of the Menu Brand circled the pupil. She really was blinded on one side.
“Hmmmph. You put out your eye brand. Blinded yourself, all just to forsake the many benefits of the Interface?” Calaf scowled.
Jelena adjusted her eyepatch back into place. “Doesn’t exactly meld with the criminal lifestyle, yeah? Y’know the priests and pryors can see a record of what’s in your inventory right? There are no secrets, from anyone. Hell, pregnancy is a status effect.”
“Good. It keeps everyone on the honest and godly path!”
“Yeah, well, rest assured there are plenty of other strings attached.” Having been rebuffed by Calaf’s shoulder charge, Jelena pulled out some matching, functional glass knives.
Item: Glass Knives (x2)
Description: Knives of Dragonglass. Forged by an expert smith. Faster than any sword but generally weaker hit-for-hit.
Glass. A fragile material but, properly formed, the needle-tip sharp end would still be quite painful. More advanced than steel to be sure, albeit with drawbacks that leave steel the better all-around kit. Why, glasswork weaponry was a specialty somewhere down the pilgrimage route…
No time to dwell further. Calaf held his shield up as Jelena’s knives raked against it. He looked for an opening, but true to form Jelena was never standing in the same position for terribly long. Neither could she get past his shield.
Just then, when the battle had reached total stalemate, did Calaf hear a tell-tale whistling sound coming down the path to the springs.
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“Hey there, what’s all this then?”
Gorman appeared, having traded his spear in for the longest sword that could reasonably be wielded one-handed, just like he’d been talking about on the road.
“Ha! Outnumbered now!” Calaf declared, puffing his chest out with renewed vigor.
“You found her? Just, like this?” Gorman asked, sword drawn, as he rushed into the springs. “Well, that’s quite serendipitous. Bounty ought to more than pay for this sword.”
Now it was Calaf’s turn to don a cocky smile. “Yield, thief. And perhaps the church will see fit to, in its mercy, reform you at a convent.”
But Jelena didn’t like that. Her cocky expression warped to a scowl.
“Oh dear, whatever will I do?” She asked.
Her eyes darted to the stairs leading up out of the spring. All the while, Gorman used his battlemage abilities to prep a fireball. Magic was generally quite adept at frying anything bound by or unbound by the Menu. And yet Jelena didn’t seem concerned.
“Gorman, behind you!” Calaf said.
A greenish blur leaped from a nearby bush. It zeroed in on Gorman, who turned and blind-fired his rapidly developing fireball directly at this new foe.
Gorman Casts: Fireball
Effect: First Level Fire Spell. Shoots A Ball of Flame. Scales off INT.
There was a flash of light, scorching heat, and half the springs were covered in thick smoke. Jelena took five massive steps back from the din, causing Calaf to rush forward.
Special Technique: Sure Strike
Effect: One Full-Force Thrust With 100% Base Accuracy And x2 Damage.
But a green blur emerged from the smoke, leapt clear over Gorman, and landed between Calaf and Jelena. A lanky and bearded man with long, wild hair held a sword of jagged and fire-colored red out at Calaf, menacingly.
“Now who is this!?” Calaf asked.
“Oh, jealous?” Jelena asked. “He’s my partner in crime, of course.”
This new opponent had no Interface. Nothing appeared when Calaf examined him. He was never branded, and so had no possible Menu to observe. Judging by his person the fireball had done no damage whatsoever despite being point blank.
“C‘mon, Enkidu.” Jelena took two steps backwards, then turned.
With a sudden burst of speed Jelena ran up the rather steep incline leading out of the hot springs. Her partner turned to run after her as well.
“Hey, don’t try to get away!” Calaf prepared another mighty strike.
Only, this newcomer – Enkidu – sliced the spearhead clear off in one swing. With a toothy smirk, he turned, then leapt after Jelena.
Item: Broken Steel Spear +1
Description: Two Halves of a Broken Spear. Requires Repair to Serve As A Weapon Once More.
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“Man, they got away again?” Gorman ran his hands through his hair. “Ah, that new fellow seemed especially deadly. Guess she keeps him around as some kind of attack dog?”
“Something like that.” Calaf looked up at the moon as it wafted over this depression the spring was in.
He still held onto the back half of his spear. The spearhead sat in the mud. The level delta between the swordman’s equipment and Calaf’s steel set must have been… twenty, no, thirty or more levels!
A red-colored blade. And glass knives. It was a lead as to what part of the pilgrimage route the thieves could operate out of. He’d have to do research in the church archives.
And he’d landed a hit on Jelena. Reduced some hit points. Even though her Interface was scrambled due to all the heresy and the defiling of her Brand, that meant she was still, at some level, bound to the Most Holy Interface.
Which meant she had a level, forsaken though it may have been by the thief.
… and she wouldn’t be able to level up further since her brand was desecrated.
… which meant…
“Formulating a plan?” Gorman asked.
“Something like that.” He turned back to the steaming hot springs.
… which meant that if Calaf could keep leveling up, he would eventually surpass her.
She could be beaten!
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