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Guild Wars
Chapter 14: Cow humping virgin and Captain Meatball (I)

Chapter 14: Cow humping virgin and Captain Meatball (I)

It takes them into a dark tunnel, mapped with green glowing binary numerals scrolling past its walls. The moment they’ve stepped inside. The door behind them vanishes. Crawling in its place, endless stretches of numbers to the opposite horizon, far as her eyes can take her. Before Cyan can pry further, Rufus explains,

“This is the Andora Archives.” the complete silence makes his voice, their footsteps, echo louder than he’s actually speaking,

She ponders a little,

“Archives?” glancing at the absolute pitch darkness beneath their feet before asking,

“Like what Feno was doing?”

Leading them forward, Rufus elaborates,

“Similar. Yes. Book keepers like Feno are the ones who record individual memories, contracts and official documents, whereas, we Under Oath are in charge of storing all collective information from the Elite Ten and their allied guilds in a place imperishable and impervious to the outside world.”

Cyan hurries,

“Basically, you’re saying we’re in a memory drive.”

“Memory drive?”

He shrugs,

“Kinda like a computer’s memory system. Books succumb to the wear and tear of age and destruction. Data doesn’t.”

Is that so? The only computer Killian owns is one that has long past its prime and freezes on every second click, so she’s never bothered tinkering with it. Then again, Felmane territories were never updated in technological advancements. She doesn’t know enough to commentate so instead, she just watches Rufus compliment with a small laugh,

“Yes. Youngling, you are quite the knowledgeable one.”

“You brought us here because you want to show us something, right? Get on with it.”

At that, Rufus taps his cane. Twice, once to send the numerals shuffling out of control. Glowing the room, brighter and brighter each forward step they took. And another, to entirely illuminate the tunnel with moving images. Flickering on one after another like a string of lights.

Rufus gestures them to the left. There’s a clip playing against the surface. She can see clouds, drifting amidst the white columns that are decorated with potted hanging ferns. Wherever this is, it must be really high up in the sky.

The observer’s running through walls of maze. An ice blade in his hand, he seems slightly out of breath. Turning the corner, he rendezvoused with another. A boy of golden eyes and short brunette hair. The flowy robes he’s wearing almost reminds her of Rufus, except he has a green sash draped across his torso. They’re discussing something briefly, before the observer flicks his head towards a tall podium in the middle. He’s looking at something on top of it that’s awfully familiar to her.

A red flag.

Immediately after, the observer’s attention’s panned forward towards the golden fuzz of silhouette wisping towards them. He pushes the brunette aside, repeatedly gesturing to the flag with head flicks. Instead, he’s tapped on the shoulders by the cheetah eared woman that emerges from it.

She recognizes this.

They’re playing freeze tag. It’s only when Rufus comments,

“Ah... This certainly is nostalgic...” that makes her realize, the brunette must have been Rufus when he was their age. That means, the ice wielder is...

“Are these Feno’s memories?” she blurts, it’s dated over four hundred years ago at the top left corner,

“It certainly is.” Rufus replies, laughing,

“If I recalled accurately, our adventurer’s exams took place in the hanging gardens of Athens.” and stroking his beard in reminiscence,

“Back when we haven’t quite figured out long distance teleportation yet.” he continues leading them forward, to the next scene, it’s an arena. Rather similar to the colosseum she’s seen in Kusma. Except it’s packed to the brim with cheering audiences, surrounded by clouds instead of sand. It's high up in the air. This must be one of the floating islands Killian speaks about.

Feno, amongst a few others is in the center of it. She’s able to spot Rufus a few examinees down. Around them, medics are rushing in the background to assist what look like defeated contestants lying on the tiles. A buffed elderly man is going down the line to put a ring on each of their fingers. When it’s finally Feno’s turn, he’s getting incredibly nervous given how badly his hand is shaking as the accessory is being slipped on. It’s exactly the same as the one she’s seen on his finger now. Except, instead of the stag, the sigil’s completely blank. He lifts it against the sun, watching a white spark glare off the metal band.

He’s just cleared the adventurer’s exams.

Rufus then gestures them to the next footage is on the right.

Feno and Rufus on a meadow, outlooking sheep grazing in the distance. There’s a large chunk of land structure amongst the clouds. Soil, rocks, debris steepling downwards like an inverted mountain, off to a side, a river flows and falls, descending from the skies to a large ocean beneath.

An entire civilization’s build on top of it. That must be the hanging gardens where they were at two footages ago.

The grass rustles beneath where they sat. Rufus looks older, now a dashing young adult. Holding a dandelion between his fingers, blowing it into the blue skies above them. It lets her notice the ring on his finger, carved with the same Under Oath sigil as the one he has now. They're talking about something. Feno’s fidgetily playing with his hood lying on the blades of grass. His adventurer’s ring is marked too, of a swan with clouds for feathers,

“Altyria.” Rufus recounts, there’s a forlornness to his voice as he explained,

“That was the first guild he joined.” she hasn’t heard of them before.

It’s only until the next clip that she realizes, Altyria is the guild that governs the hanging gardens, the same place where the two boys took their exams.

Feno’s behind a wall, peeking into the training ground. It’s here when Lilith sees her again. The cheetah lady from the trials. She’s cut her hair short. Spiking messily as it is, she thinks, it compliments her better. Especially with the black tracksuit that she’s wearing. Really brings out her green eyes. She’s in the middle of combat practice with a dozen others, parrying attacks and blasting spells. Her skillset reminds her of Rufus with how quickly she maneuvers. Except, instead of the grace he processes, she has a lot more vitality. Or rather, recklessness, she’s just punched through a pillar directly behind one of her training partners. Is she teaching a class? All of her sparing opponents appear weaker than her so it’s hardly even a fair fight.

It’s then when Feno brings his gaze downwards. He’s holding a bouquet of flowers, fidgeting ever so slightly.

No way! Lilith can’t help but to blurt,

“He’s totally crushing on her!” as she continues watching the scene furl out. Feno’s gingerly peeking through the side again. She’s holding one of her students by the collar, mid punch. But Feno seems to have caught her attention for her to stop and wave at him. That action itself made him retract his head back behind the wall as if she’s just assaulted him instead.

Rufus laughs,

“Yes... He held quite the candle for her.” that’s past tense, so Lilith points out,

“Held?” Rufus doesn’t answer her question,

“Her name is Lanara Pantazis.” just as Lanara loops around the corner. Now she’s standing before Feno. Flickering her pupils between the bouquet and him with a confused look on her face. Feno's avoiding eye contact, losing his sentences to awkward,

um’s and uh’s whilst darting his gaze on every marble step, every drifting cloud, every bird fountain in the distance behind her.

So even someone like Feno’s able to feel emotions huh. It’s funny, looking at him like this, she thinks, she’s almost able to humanize him again. That is, if she can forget the terror of death that still lingers on her tongue, tasting like blood. She’d still choose to never meet him again if she could. Why is Rufus even showing them this?

It’s only when, Feno hears Lanara laugh when he finally finds the courage to face her. Lilith can guess why he likes her. She has really pretty eyes. It curves like little crescent moons when she smiles yet her presence is bright as a sun. Perfect to melt the ice-cold tundra he has for a conscience. Hah.

But before he’s able to say anything, Lanara picks a stalk from the bouquet

‘Is this for me?’ she asks twirling it between her fingers, and looks questioningly at it like she doesn’t understand their purpose. Then her next statement makes Feno jerk his head,

‘Does it taste good?’ he isn’t the only one that’s getting baffled.

She’s that type! The type that has a brick for brain. She’s completely dense!

Lanara doesn’t wait for Feno’s to find his words, instead she abruptly takes a bite out of the rose bud and makes a face. Of course, fresh rose petals won’t taste good. Fragrant as they are, they’re bitter. It’s such a scam. Lilith's tried them out of curiosity before, so she knows. But Lanara swallowed it regardless and commentates,

‘It’s not very good.’ Lilith can tell Feno’s trying to salvage the situation by following up with,

‘You can make tea with them.’ does he not want to embarrass her? Why doesn’t he just tell her, she isn’t supposed to eat it.

‘Ah... Is that so.’ her eyes light up, ‘then let's go share it with everybody!’ she enthusiastically suggests, completely misunderstanding and reaches to grab Feno by the wrist, dragging him forward despite he’s still stuttering,

‘Wait, I have something to tell you!’ she isn’t listening,

‘Hey everyone, let's take a break! Feno’s bought some tea for us!’ to beyond the wall where she waves at her entourage of students that are curiously waiting for her. Feno’s getting completely panicked, shoving the bouquet behind his back when everyone else started snickering after they’ve realized what had actually gone down.

He’s so lame! Seeing this, Lilith can’t help but to feel slightly vindicated. Good job cheetah lady. Feno totally deserves it.

Rufus explains, going forward to the next clip,

“She was the sixth division captain of Altyria at the time. Feno was a part of her squadron.”

“He simped hard after he met her once during the trials huh?” Cyan deadpans.

“Isn’t it more like, love at first sight?” she gets a returned scoff for that,

“As if something whimsical like that exists. It’s her pants he’s trying to get into, not her heart.”

“Not everyone’s one track minded like you are.”

They continue going forward, strolling down the footages, Feno and Lanara are going on missions in neighboring towns. There’re a few snippets of them sharing ice creams after helping the villagers repair a broken bridge. Feeding stray cats whilst searching for a lost pet and watching an opera on the way home after capturing mountain bandits. Although, Lanara’s fell asleep mid-play. She’s also gotten into a habit of buying him a bouquet of roses after each mission. Looks like Lanara completely misinterpreted Feno’s initial attempt at courtship. So instead, he gets her souvenirs from every town they’ve visited as a returned gift. This continued for a couple of years, and with it, they’re spending more and more time together, mission after mission, until they’re almost inseparable. Lilith can’t help but to wonder, what happened to him? Feno seems so happy here. Yet now, he hardly makes any expressions except for a distant solemn like he’s trying to escape a nightmare.

Passing those, in another clip, they’re seated by the edge of the hanging gardens, outlooking the ocean and meadows beneath them. They’ve just returned from another quest. Lanara’s leaning towards him, curiously studying the ice constructs Feno’s making between his hands. He’s manifesting a sword, the same ones Lilith’s seen hovering around him. Passing it to Lanara to let her examine it. It’s frustratingly elegant actually. Deadly as they are. The pommel’s an ice crystal, spiking down the hilt, missing the handguard, to instead, spiral to a point making the blade. She gives it a few swings, before it collapses into snow dust. Seems like only Feno’s able to utilize it. Magia constructs don’t last long without constant input from the caster. But it was enough to awe Lanara, all sparkly eyes as she is and enthusiastically asking what else can he make. Feno again, concaves his palms in his lap, gathering a blue glow in the middle. Speckles, trickling inwards to form its shape, he’s creating a little cheetah, curled up in a napping position. It gets a chuckle out of her, questioning him if that was supposed to be her. To which, he implicated, yes, she does have the tendency to fall asleep easily.

It just looks like, the closer they got, the sillier they’ve become, Lilith can’t help but to doubt,

“Are you sure this is the same guy? That Feno, that ruthless, sulky forth admiral of Darkdawn?” does Rufus want her to forgive him by showing them this?

Cyan groans at her,

“Quit harping on that already, you lived in the end, didn’t you? That’s all it matters.”

“You try getting stabbed a few times by that little shit and tell me how you’d feel about it afterwards!” he shrugs,

“I’ll probably just eat an ice cream whilst imagining brutally murdering them in my head and get over it.”

Oh...

Is that how Cyan usually copes with things? Perhaps she shouldn’t have made that comment. That probably sounded rather insensitive considering what he’s been through. Though, he doesn’t seem much bothered. Was Cyan actually trying to cheer her up by saying that? He’s terrible at it.

Rufus laughs sadly, “I too, would like to apologize for Feno’s behavior. Perhaps it is too much for this old man to ask, but please do find it in your heart to forgive him.” so that was his intention. Rufus sighs,

“He certainly wasn’t always like this. Although, time has its ways to change a person.” that’s an understatement. His personality is completely different. She won’t be surprised if Rufus were to tell her that’s a clone from an alternate dimension. But he doesn’t, instead, Rufus walks them forward, introducing,

“It’s here, where Lanara’s finally suggested that Feno should be her Lieutenant. She hasn’t picked one for nearly a decade.” leading them forward. In her office, Lanara’s handing Feno a little badge. He receives it within his palms, of the cloud swan with a number six, written in roman numerals beneath it. Looking at it, he’s almost hesitant, but Lanara closes his fingers, pushing it before his chest and insisting that he should accept the role. Lilith doesn’t see any reason why Feno would reject it, she’s giving him an instant promotion.

Rufus explains,

“A Lieutenant should be someone that the division captain trusts. Someone that’s able to lead the squadron in the absence of the captain.” that statement makes Cyan point out,

“What? That’s clearly biased then, Feno isn’t even well acquainted with the rest of her squadron!” he still doesn’t get it, so Lilith says,

“That’s because she wants to keep him close by her side.” it’s quite obvious,

“They’re totally in love.”

Cyan remarks, “so, your definition of love is showing off your Magia to someone, gaining personal benefits and giving terrible gifts?”

“It’s not terrible!” reluctant as she is to admit it, she does think Feno’s presents were cute, he’s been observant. Those were all trinkets that Lanara’s liked. How does Cyan not notice,

“And no, of course not.” she argues,

“It’s about spending time together and enjoying each other’s company!” Cyan looks at her questioningly,

“Isn’t that exactly the same as friendship?”

“Of course!” she beams proudly, “if being next to someone makes you happy, and you want to spend much, much more time with them,” spreading her arms out to emphasize,

“Then, isn’t it love?” and proceeds to ignore Cyan’s rebuttal about how her idea of love is incredibly shallow and one sided. He’s insisting that it’s about unconditional self-sacrifice. The same way a mother still loves her child even if they’re utter scumbags. That’s just tragic and borderline masochistic. As if he knows better. Rufus mediates,

“Neither of you are wrong. Love, is actually a little bit of both. Happiness, sadness, grief, sacrifice, it’s because of love, we are able to feel these emotions.” and laughs at a memory,

“Feno’s has always been a little on the introverted side. But he isn’t a person with malignant intentions, regardless the impression he may give, his heart is actually all too soft.” Rufus gestures to a clip,

“It is because of love; he’s managed to warm up to others.” it’s true that the Feno that’s with Lanara seems a lot less scary. In fact, he’s the complete opposite of scary. He’s so dorky all the time like a lost puppy whenever Lanara teases him.

Then he sighs forlornly,

“And it is also because of love, he’s casted it with ice. A doubled edged sword that heals and kills. You will understand in due time why we reacted the way we did.” and she can only wonder, as they continue forward, what does he mean by that.

It looks like Feno accepted the role, because he has the badge pinned. In her office, Lanara’s formally introducing him to the rest of her men. All fifty of them cramped into the small space. Some of them, Lilith recalls seeing during the first sparring clip. They’ve grown older now and there are also new additional faces. She can tell how nervous Feno must have been considering he’s fidgeting a lot despite they’re greeting him with a polite bow. They’re excitedly asking him how did he get the job, Lanara’s once said she doesn’t need a lieutenant because she insisted that she can do everything by herself. But that’s just her sugarcoating that she hasn’t found anyone she deems fit. She didn’t want to hurt their feelings. From the way they’re speaking about her, Lilith can tell,

“They really like her.” she says out loud.

“They certainly do.” Rufus agrees, “they feel indebted to her actually. At the time, division six were filled with people that were released from the other squadrons due to their lack of combat competence. If not for her taking them in, they would’ve been kicked out of Altyria otherwise.”

“Heh... So, she suffers from help a friend syndrome huh.” Cyan comments sarcastically.

“That’s just called being nice, Cyan.” he scoffs,

“Being nice is also what got them stuck as division six. Didn’t you notice, despite the number of missions they’ve already taken in the last three years, they haven’t been promoted even once. Lanara’s been hard carrying them. They got booted for a reason. People like them drags the entire guild’s reputation down.”

“Not everything’s about rankings.”

“In a guild it is. That is, if you want to have influence within it. Especially if you’re one of the Elite Ten.”

“Influence isn’t that important.”

“Then what is?” how does he not already know, so she reiterates.

“Having fun, of course! Like I said, why do anything if you’re not having fun. Lanara seems fun to be around!” at her remark, Cyan groans,

“You’re impossible.”

She makes a face at him,

“No, you.” before returning to the clip to watch Feno answering with an awkward,

The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

‘I actually don’t really know either.’

He really is bad with social interactions. That’s when Lanara steps in, throwing her arm over a delinquent looking lad right at the front that was pressurizing Feno the most, she laughs,

‘Alright, alright.’ answering their endless prying, ‘he’s got the job because he’s earnest and a real hard worker. And have you felt his aura? He’s got crazy potential. Give him a couple more years, I reckon he’s going to be stronger than the whole lot of you combined.’

One of her squadron members immediately retorts,

‘Captain, is your way of saying we don’t work hard enough?’ to which, she jokingly replies,

‘You mean, working for a day and slacking for a week? I know some of you are doing that. There is a reason why we’re still in division six, you know!’

Another one chimes in, a girl with brown braids and freckles, ‘yeh, I know who you’re talking about Captain Lanara,’ she raises her hand to point towards the bowl cut beside her, his fringe is so long, it’s entirely covering his eyes,

‘that’ll be Anthony over here.’

Bowl cut immediately protests with a, ‘dammit Clara!’ with that, Lanara laughs,

‘Alright! You know what that means?’ with a beaming smile on her face, clapping her hands together. The sight of it makes her squadron members tense up a little, as if they aren’t looking forward to what she’s going to say. Lanara on the other hand, is fist bumping the air,

‘It’s time for collective punishment! Five hundred laps around the hanging gardens!’

‘It’s always fucking Anthony!’ her squadron is making a ruckus, ‘Oi Anthony! get your shit together.’ tunnelling in on bowl cut that’s now defensively putting his hands before his chest, ‘cut me some slack here.’

Then Lanara points to Feno, ‘led by your new Lieutenant that has just graciously offered his kind services!’ he immediately retorts,

‘No, I haven’t!’ to which she only slaps his back, laughing, ‘yes you did, the moment you’ve agreed to being my Lieutenant, you’ve signed your life away to me!’

‘That’s just entrapment!’

‘Oh! You lucky bastard!’ they started complaining, ‘Captain Lanara, can I sign my life away to you too?’ there’s a very faint,

‘Captain Lanara, can you be my mother.’ and ‘step on me please!’ drowned somewhere amidst the commotion. Looks like Feno isn’t the only one that’s enamored by her. She really is good at bringing people together.

They move onwards, towards the next scene by the quest boards. Seemingly a few days after they’ve rested up. They’re searching for another mission to take.

Feno’s reaching for an S+ ranked slip. Passing it to her and suggesting that they should do this one next, looking at the contents makes Lanara a little reluctant, so Lilith asks, pointing to the screen,

“Is it going to be dangerous?” it’s vastly different from the D ranked fetch quests, B ranked bandit catching quests and C ranked town repairing quest they’ve taken. This one’s located in the far eastern regions. Towards the current Raven's Death territories. The mission is to investigate suspicious disappearances in the village of YunChuan.

Rufus explains with a small laugh,

“Most of the time, the mission board is flooded with smaller local requests. Although, seemingly insignificant, it is also a guild’s responsibility to make daily life more comfortable for the common folk.” Rufus elaborates, pointing at the current clip,

“However, in order for divisions to get promoted, the squadron needs to compete with others on a set number of mission quotas. And that is of course inclusive of higher ranked missions. Right now, division six’s missing just one more high ranked mission to move up a rank.” so that’s why Feno’s insisting that they should take it. Lanara eventually relents, receiving the paper.

Moving forward, it’s the day after. Lanara’s calling out to her squadron that’re seated by the picnic bench in the guild’s gardens. Three of them. Bowl cut’s pulling on the freckle’s braids. He’s getting back at her for ratting him out despite she’s scowling at him and swatting him away akin a pesky fruit fly. Opposite them, a buff baldy, slightly older than them is drowning in a pile of paper work that his teammates are neglecting on helping him. So instead, he’s face planted on top of it, looking absolutely defeated.

The sound of Lanara’s voice’s gotten the bowl cut’s attention first, freezing in place but he isn’t turning around. And rightfully so, considering Lanara’s just knocked him across the head, telling him that he shouldn't bully freckles just because she’s more responsible. Freckles clearly doesn’t appreciate what he’s doing. The sight of him getting comically hit makes freckles giggle, he totally deserved it. It’s then buffed baldy picks his face up to greet Lanara. She’s showing them the mission they’ve picked, inviting them to join along. Buffed baldy immediately agreed to without a second of hesitation. Whatever to get him out of the mundane paper work, it seems.

They’ve strolled past the travelling montage. The five adventurers are sailing on a ship. It’s mostly snippets of buffed baldy leaning over the deck, throwing his guts up into the sea and bowl cut being punched by Lanara for running away with freckle’s bunny hair ties. He seems to enjoy picking on her. Feno on the other hand, likes to watch them from atop the main mast, gazing into the distance of sparkling blue. Somewhere in the middle of their journey, they’ve also defeated a giant squid that attempted to sink them. That must’ve been so fun! Well, not so much for the sailors, because they’d looked utterly terrified throughout the whole ordeal. It takes them another storm, a few more giant squids and couple of weeks until they’ve finally gotten to their destination. By the time they’ve disembarked it, buffed baldy looks like he’s lost ten kilograms. Poor guy must really have a weak stomach.

The eastern landscape is vastly different. With tall narrow mountains, towering to the heavens looking like a giant’s palm. Growing along the sides of it, the tree trunks are bendy with leaves of vibrant gold and orange. Waterfalling down some of them, it forms rivers at the base where numerous towns have sprouted. Platformed with stone pavements on each side of the bank.

The locals here are adorned in colorful garments. Both the men and women wore long robes, synched at the waist with a sash. Kept long hair, except the men groomed it simpler, with a single ponytail whereas the women decorated theirs with flower ornaments and gold pins. They’ve passed a few bustling villages. Greeted the local guilds to get directions. They pointed them further inland that leads them through a merchant’s town.

Going down the streets, every shop is furnished with protruding cloth awnings, red lanterns hanging down the sides. Bamboo chairs spread out front, with a pot of tea already prepared on the table for any walk-in customers. They’ve decided to try the local street side food. Bowls of soupy noodles, dumplings and stir fry. It must’ve been spicy given every dish looks bright red. That, and baldy’s chucking tea down his throat directly from the small clay kettle after a single bite.

Lilith wonders, tugging the hem of Cyan’s sleeve,

“Is that what Niwagumo looks like?”

“Don’t forget this is more than two centuries ago. Besides, Niwagumo’s is even further east, so no. It’s different, although there are some similarities here and there.”

“But didn’t Raven's Death already win this region at the time?” Cyan shrugs,

“Yeh, that’s probably my old man’s era. But he was always more obsessed with expanding the territory than governing it. So, he usually just leaves it up to the local guilds to do as they please.” and mocks him,

“He’s overcompensating, really. Always second to someone else. Second to Under-oath in members, second to Atlantia Empire in territory size.” it’s more malicious than playful. Cyan doesn’t think much of his father.

Continuing their stroll, the next clip has turned night time. The lanterns are much prettier when it’s lit. The party’s going down an alley, past the little ferry boats that have been docked under the curved bridge. The water is still enough to reflect the red lights emitting through the shops lining both banks. Lilith can’t help to think that this area looks rather shady. There are lots of drunk locals stumbling along the streets, it reminds her of the scene outside Killian’s tavern. Except, instead of being passed out next to bins, they’re collapsed by the river bank. It’s lucky there’re stone railings to keep them from falling off. Others just use it as purchase to vomit over. Men that are sober enough, are coupled up with scantily clad women, in sheer fabric, with a side of their robes, hiking off the shoulders. Smoking an elongated pipe. The women however, that aren’t paired, are waving at them as they pass, batting eyelashes in front of stores and behind red barred windows as if they’re products on display.

It must be one of those places, a red-light district. So, they have one of these places in every region huh.

Distracted, bowl cut was about to approach one of the girls before freckles drags him back and scowls at him. Reminding him that they’re on a mission. At that, Lanara laughs, shrugging,

‘Why not? We're going to spend the night here regardless.’ because bowl cut’s immediately ran off after her statement. Freckles watches him disappear behind the door, a young lady escorting him in. She's getting kind of sulky, crossing her arms at the sight.

Can it be? She’s actually jealous! No way, bowl cut’s such a jackass to her all the time. But Lanara, dense as she is, proceeds to ask buffed baldy and Feno if they’re curious to join. To which, buffed baldy only coughs awkwardly and declines the offer, telling her, true happiness is achieved through inner peace. Whereas Feno’s a little stupefied like he wasn’t expecting her to even ask him that question.

So instead, they carry onwards to check in at an inn a few buildings down. But before they return to their rooms which they’ve been assigned, Lanara suggests that they too, should lighten up and have some fun, now that they’re here. After an extremely questioning look from Feno and an overreacting,

‘Eh? I didn’t know Captain Lanara was into those sorta things!’ from freckles, Lanara laughs, pulling out a bottle of local wine,

‘Is it that odd? It’s customary when you take a S+ rank mission!’ It’s in a massive clay jar with a red diamond sticker slapped on top. When did she even purchase that and where did she store it the whole time? The realization makes freckles giggle nervously, scratching at the side of her cheek,

‘I thought you were referring to something else...’ she totally had her mind in the gutter! To which, buff baldy with a disappointed head shake, pats on her shoulder as if he’s trying to comfort her,

‘May you one day, find inner peace too.’ which leads to Feno finally catching on with a little, ‘oh.’ flicking his head up,

‘Wait, did you think Lanara was referring to an or-’ but before he’s able to finish the statement, he’s cut off by a very flustered freckles, immediately slapping a hand over his mouth, shouting,

‘Don’t even think about finishing that sentence in front of our innocent captain! We must protect her pure mind at all cost!’

Lanara’s tilting her head at her, ‘or?’

‘Origami!’ freckles corrects, ‘folding paper into cute little animals and flowers.’ I hear it’s a hobby amongst the locals in these regions.” almost too enthusiastically. She’s blatantly obvious. But Lanara buys it,

‘I didn’t notice Clara, you’re so enthusiastic about the art of origami.’ then she searches into her pockets, ‘unfortunately I don’t have any paper on me.’ and retrieves a handkerchief,

‘But will this work?’

At that, freckles strides towards the door behind Lanara, pushing it open and reaching for her wrist, ushering her in nervously,

‘It’s quite alright, Captain Lanara. How about we just all drink.’ she glances past Lanara’s shoulders, giving Feno and baldy two quick head flicks as if she’s saying, change the topic. To which, Feno follows up with asking Lanara if she’s ever folded origamis. Only to have freckles break her composure by yelling at him to stop talking about goddamn origamis like it’s a cringy memory she doesn’t want reminded.

They’re settling down in the middle of the room. The table was too small so they’ve shifted it to a side to make space to sit on the ground. Right before the bed that’s canopied with red drapes, pulled to each supporting pole. The aroma incense that was lit prior to their arrival apparently made the room a little stuffy so baldy’s opened the balcony windows outlooking the river beneath them.

Lanara cranks the pot open, pouring the wine into little tea cups that she’s previously retrieved. It’s an unassuming clear liquid, that at a glance, Lilith would’ve mistaken it for water. Drastically different from the whiskeys and ram Killian serves at his tavern. She wonders how it tastes, but judging from their expressions after they’ve downed the first shot, she guesses, it must’ve been pretty mild. Or at least it tasted that way.

They’ve downed a couple more cups before slowing down to share stories. It started off with baldy mentioning that he would really like to bring his younger siblings here one of these days. It makes freckles look at him questioningly as to why he would want to show them a red-light district. To which, he corrects her, he was referring to the merchant’s town they were at earlier. They’ve only heard stories of how the other guild’s territories look like but they’ve never actually left Athens. Travelling was always a dream of theirs. When Feno asked him why hasn’t he brought them yet, he sighs and reveals to him that he has twelve siblings and his parents are simple farmers. It’s hard to make ends meet in a massive family like that. He’s the only one fortunate enough to be born with enough Vita to become an adventurer so he’s got to support them.

Freckles went next chiming in and completely relating to him on that. She’s got terminally ill younger brother and medical fees are a complete scam. It must be something serious considering she’s mentioned, not even Magia’s able to cure. It simply delays and sustains his life. She asks Feno next, as to why he’s decided to become an adventurer. To which, he only answered, he wanted to get stronger, and when they pried about the scar on his temple, he redirects the question to Lanara. He’s totally avoiding the topic! There must be something else in his past that he doesn’t feel comfortable talking about. But Lanara changes the subject, she chuckles light-heartedly, she simply decided to become an adventurer because she could. Suggesting that perhaps Feno feels the same way and they shouldn’t press on when someone doesn’t want to share. That and she also wants to build a massive, massive house for her grandmother. The previous war with Beelzebub made the entire north poor. The economy completely collapsed, so it was difficult having to restart from a scratch. But her mentioning that dampens the mood, so she switches to something more uplifting. Reminding baldy that one time he’s sleep walked into morning training in his duckling pajamas whilst hugging a pillow.

No way!

Built as he is, that imagery is so mismatched. But freckles immediately started bawling from laughter, reminding him that he’s even sleepily called Lanara, ‘Mama, is it already time for breakfast? I’ll go wake everyone else up.’ in front of the entire squadron. They’ve teased him about it for weeks.

Baldy’s getting tense, awkwardly clearing his throat and downing another shot before he fires back, trying to conceal his own embarrassment. He targets freckles, recounting when she’s ate some weird mushroom on a mission and she had to be sent back because she couldn’t stop barking like a dog. Crawling on all fours for a week afterwards around the guild hall. She’s even played fetch with bowl cut the entire time and her moon howls kept everyone up at night. Lanara slaps her thigh, saying that she remembers that! And freckles even tried to mount the fourth division captain’s wolf summon whilst shouting she’s got to assert dominance and there can only be one alpha in the pack. That story’s so bizarre it even made Feno snicker, asking her,

‘Did that actually happen?’ despite freckle’s blushing from ear to ear burying her face into her palms like she wants to disappear. She too takes a shot and retaliates, going after Feno,

‘At least I’m not the one that got completely rejected by the person I like in front of everyone as my first greeting impression.’

Ouch.

That must have stung. She’s talking about the time when Feno’s tried to give Lanara roses.

Lanara flicks an ear at him, with the most oblivious face, she asks,

‘Oh? Feno has someone he likes?’

‘It’s y-’ but Feno cuts freckles off,

‘Did you guys know? Lanara once gotten so drunk, she’s filled an entire tub with stolen marinara sauce and buried herself in it declaring that she’s a meatball. And when the inn keepers came to charge her for the sauce, she demanded them to call her captain meatball, and how dared they extort captain meatball. It’s gotten so out of hand she’s even gotten all the other customers involved to bow before her and acknowledge her status as captain meatball otherwise she’ll beat them up. And that’s not all! She started singing,’ Feno imitates her, placing a hand before his chest, and raising the other in the air as if an opera,

‘Spaghetti Bologneseeee,’ with the last vowel crescendo to a high-pitched scream, ‘on the top of her lungs.’

Baldy widens his eyes, ‘the captain did that?’ and freckles instantly chimes in, ‘is this for real? That’s so out of character! I wish I could’ve seen tha-’ but she’s cut off by a shiver. There’s dark aura emitting from Lanara. Turning their gaze towards her, she’s lowered her head, her fringe falling before her eyes, chuckling menacingly under her breath, she says whisperingly,

‘Oh, Feno, you done fucked up now. You’re asking for it.’ before flipping upwards, she starts blurting,

‘On one infiltration mission, Feno had to cross dress as a young maiden to approach one of the traffickers. He played the role far too perfectly,’ she dramatically reenacts, pressing the back of her hand against her forehead,

‘Oh mister, whatever should I do, my mother is sick and my father has passed, I can neither afford a funeral nor medicine.’ she turns, batting her eyes with an upwards gaze,

‘If only there is a way, I can make money.’ she walks two fingers downwards midair against the imaginary torso of the trafficker, with a pitiful pout she says,

‘There isn’t much I am good at; however, my tongue is extremely skilled.’ before she straightens to continue the rest of the story, slapping her thigh with a wheezing laugh,

‘You should’ve seen the look on Feno’s face when that guy immediately grabbed him with one hand to shove him down,’ she mimics the motion, ‘and dropped his pants with the other. It was hell’s fury. I’ve never seen him so angry in my life! He flunked the mission right then and, in the end, we still had to brute force our way in.’

‘Oh god,’ freckles topples over laughing,

‘That’s lethal, that’s so lethal!’ hugging her stomach in a fetal position as if the gesture itself hurts her, ‘I don’t know what’s more absurd to imagine! Feno in a dress, Feno getting dick slapped, or the poor guy that dick slapped Feno in a dress!’ whereas Baldy dramatically spits out his drink that he’s been casually sipping this entire time, he composes himself,

‘I’m glad our lieutenant takes the job very seriously.’

Feno tries to defend, ‘that was Lanara’s shitty idea to begin with!’ but Lanara’s not done,

‘Wait, there’s more!’ she finds her breath after downing another shot,

‘There’s another mission where we were trying to capture this corrupt witch doctor, and Feno got hit by one of her spells. Nothing really happened at first, but guess what I stumbled upon when night comes. I found him in the barn, butt ass naked, rubbing his face on a dairy cow’s thigh. Repeating Daisy, oh my sweet Daisy, how beautiful you look under this marvelous moonlight. The poor cow was just trying to get some sleep! And that’s not even the best part! The best part was when the bull that’s in the same pen got woken up, and mounted on his Daisy. It was hysterical! He started scream crying,’ Lanara theatrically stretches a hand out like she’s reaching for something and scrunching the other on her heart, saying with the most exaggerated, petrified face,

‘Dai-sy!!!!’ as though she’s just lost a beloved family and she’s still in disbelief,

‘Not my precious Daisy! Get away from her, you foul beast! He started tackling the bull, trying to drag it off.’ she’s wheezing now, wiping a tear from her eyes, ‘and he got kicked, straight in the nuts.’ baldy’s felt that. He’s hissing at the remark, ‘oof.’ whereas freckles rolls around in hysteria,

‘Stop! Mercy! My gut’s going to explode.’ she slams her fist against the floor, ‘It’s gone. His image is completely gone. I can’t take Feno seriously anymore. Imagine that! Getting cucked by a bull.’ before she gets up and mocks Feno,

‘I didn’t know you were such an animal lover!’ but Lanara’s relentless,

‘I’m not done, in another missio-’ he’s getting flustered, waving his arms about to get her to stop but it isn’t working so he pounces her, knocking her over to cup her lips, but that gesture instead, just gotten freckles to accuse,

‘That’s so cunning! You’re taking advantage of our sweet captain!’

‘I’m not!’ he defends,

‘Lanara’s the one that’s taking advantage of me! I’m telling you, she’s the one that talks me into these weird situations in the first place!’ desperately trying to muffle Lanara’s story about the time where Feno’s ran around town wearing stolen bloomers on his head to little success. But freckles isn’t listening, she’s climbing on her feet, stumbling upon herself and slurring,

‘That’s not fair. I want to take advantage of our sweet captain too.’ before tackling herself into the pile. Shoving her face against Lanara’s breasts, she’s drooling,

‘Men are idiots. All idiots, every single one of them, one minute you get tricked into thinking they’re into you, and the next, they’ll run off to fuck someone else the moment the opportunity arises. Captain Lanara, you mustn’t be swindled. Reject the dick, embrace the tits!’ she’s completely drunk. But Feno’s taken personal offence to that, he shoves freckles off,

‘I’m pretty sure the only idiot here is you.’ hiccupping, his words are becoming garbled, ‘stop projecting your experiences.’ she’s resisting, wrestling against his palms like she’s pushing a boulder,

‘Okay, cow humping virgin. Just because you’ve deceived captain Lanara, but don’t think even for a second, you’ve deceived me. I know exactly what’s on your mind, you just want to fuck the capt-’ Feno isn’t letting her finish the sentence,

‘That’s awfully convincing from a dog humping pervert, especially when the first thing your thoughts default to is an orgy!’

‘As if that hasn’t crossed your mind, we’re in the middle of a prostitution hub.’

‘You know what’s the one thing both of you have in common?’ Lilith thinks, Feno’s seeing two baldies when he watches him say,

‘You’re both depraved animal humpers that needs inner peace!’ he doesn’t look entirely sober either. His eyes are squint, his cheeks are flushed, bobbing left and right as he is like he’s atop a drifting boat. Feno and freckles are too inebriated to care, they target him in unison,

‘Alright mama’s boy,’ tackling him down, freckles accuses, ‘come to think of it! You’re the one who yelled, step on me mommy, during the commotion few days ago!’

‘So much for your inner peace, carnal beast!’ each of them is pressing on an arm. But baldy’s throwing them up, with a roaring,

‘Reject humanity, return to gorilla!’ he certainly does look like one, hammering against his chest as he is. Lanara’s climbed on her feet now. Flaring her fingers across her face, she chuckles menacingly under her breath, drawing their attention as her maniacal laughter gets progressively louder and louder. She pushes her fringe back,

‘How dare thou lowly peasants start a fight before Captain Meatball!’ flipping her head up, ‘punishments, I say! Fifty spankings to the buttocks!’ looks like her alternate persona’s back. When they failed to move, Lanara threatens,

‘Submit to mine authority!’ with a holler, she cracks her knuckles, ‘submit!’ she commands in a booming voice,

‘Present thy buttocks! Or unholy wrath shall be unleashed upon the noisy commoners next door!’ drawing a fist against the wall,

‘Dare these degenerate filths indulge in frivolous fornication in the presence of Captain Meatball.’ but she’s immediately stopped by the other three, pouncing on her,

‘Lanara, no!’ But Lanara forces against them,

‘Preposterous! Mine divine name is Meatball. I answer to no other!’ forcing her fist forward despite baldy’s restraining her with his inner elbows, freckles, dangling off her arm and Feno attempting to catch her punch,

‘Enough!’ Lanara rages, she’s going full amazonness, throwing Feno, face flat, to the ground. Pressing a knee atop his spine. Whereas freckles and baldy, still trying their best to halt her to little avail whilst yelling, captain, stop! But she isn’t stopping, she’s raising a palm,

‘Spankings to those that defies mine divine will!’ but freckles immediately launches forward, groveling beside Feno,

‘If Captain Meatball really wishes to inflict spankings upon someone’s ass, please do me instead!’

Ah.

She’s turned into a complete pervert. Feno, trying to crawl away from Lanara’s grip immediately snaps at her,

‘I see you’re finally revealing your true nature, dog humping masochist!’

‘Oh, you got a problem with that, cow humping virgin?’ she points out, ‘I bet you’re all bricked up in your pants right now!’

‘I’m too intoxicated to be bricked!’ whereas baldy, the only remaining trooper trying to prevent this disaster is shouting,

‘Inner peace!’ above Lanara who's beginning to dramatically opera sing, ‘spanking!’ on the top of her lungs. Looks like the alcohol’s gotten the better of them at this point.

It’s at that moment the door opens. It freezes all of them. Turning around, bowl cut’s standing by the frame with the stiffest expression on his face like he’s just walked into a murder scene. And he thought his night must’ve been wild. Wordlessly, he slams it shut again, solemnly promising,

‘I saw nothing.’ only when he’s safely behind it, running away with pitter-pattering footsteps.

It takes them a few moments to register what’s just happened. Blinking in silence and exchanging gazes, then it strikes them, like they’ve somehow telepathically communicated,

‘Get him!’ Lanara commands, pointing at the entrance as the other three are already sprinting out of it,

‘We’ll never hear the end of this if word of it reaches the guild!’ stampeding down the hallway. Leading the chase, Feno and freckles tackles the escaping lad into the ground. Right before he’s able to reach safety in his room, with baldy, dragging him back by the ankle. Bowl cut’s screaming,

‘No! I have nothing to do with this! I’m innocent!’ on the entire way. Clawing his nails against the wooden floors like he’s being sent to the guillotines. They’ve brought him before Lanara, who’s now picked herself up to sit atop her bed, awaiting them like a mafia gang leader. Feno presses bowl cut’s head to the ground, saluting to her,

‘Captain Meatball, the defiant has been caught.’

‘What shall we do with this ingrate, Captain Meatball?’ freckles follows suit, stomping a foot on bowl cut’s back. He’s struggling against it, desperately reaching a hand towards baldy,

‘Michail, stop them! They’re completely wasted!’ but baldy’s just throwing his head back, roaring,

‘Inner peace!’ and drumming his chest like a gorilla, ‘rain judgement upon this carnal filth, Captain Meatball.’

‘Not you too!’ he’s resigning to his fate now, staggeringly, bowl cut turns over his shoulders to watch Lanara approach him. She’s cracking her knuckles, a devious smirk over her lips as she slowly, raises a flared-out palm, winding it up,

‘Stop! Captain Lanara, you’re better than this! You don’t need to do this!’ he’s getting more panicked by the second,

‘You’re going to awaken something in me I don’t want awakened!’ but his pleas are falling on deaf ears, Lanara slingshots her hand,

‘Thou shall only acknowledge me as Captain Meatball!’ whoosh, speedy as a whip, upon his rear that’s been propped up against his will, despite bowl cut’s desperately crying their names to save him. The impact lands resoundingly. Echoing against the walls, Lilith thinks, she’s able to see shockwaves, shuddering up his spine. That was merciless, bowl cut couldn’t even scream. The force itself is delayed for a split second, before it launches him forward, sliding cartoonishly over the floor as if he’s slipped in an ice rink towards the balcony rails. Hitting against it so hard there’s smoke furling from his forehead. It has short circuited his brain it seems, because he has the stupidest expression on his face, foaming from his mouth as he is.

It’s only when they’ve waited a little and bowl cut doesn’t respond that they realized he’s completely knocked out. Although, they’re too inebriated to be concerned for his well-being. Baldy’s busy rushing to the bathroom, cupping over his mouth. He’s going to hurl. Freckles has already cozied herself beneath the bedframes, in a fetal position. Blinking towards bowl cut before slurring something along the lines of,

‘Serves you right, dickhead.’ whereas Lanara, toppled over by the backlash, passes out cold on the bamboo mattress with her legs still dangling off the edges. Feno, beside freckles, is having more and more difficulties keeping his eyes open so the clip is flickering. He’s lying down on his side, curling up,

‘Goodnight, everyone.’ he mutters.

A blink, a blink, pitch black.