She’s seeing a patch of darkness. Feeling, the glances of the external world around her. Hear their breathings, the subtle shifts in motions when scimitar guy leans onto the shelf again with a little clink from hitting his scimitars against it. But even louder than that, is her own heartbeats from the distaste of Feno’s intimidating aura intruding her space. She can tell he’s too, placed his hands atop the crystal.
It feels like a wisp that’s trying to seep past these walls, knocking at closed doors and crawling beneath gaps. Making her feel vulnerable when it caresses against her skin, like an icy embrace. As though he’s aggressively inviting her to pool her Vita against him, to repel him because it’s getting colder by the second. She does after a few more moments of hesitation, channeling her Vita down her arms, to the tip of her fingers like he’s suggested. It’s fighting back against the cold, a red fog of her own begins spiraling around her, driving the blue mist backwards. Then it resists harder, lashing her back, so she pools more. More, until she’s surrounded, in this redness.
But the thicker this red fog gets, the further it separates her from the outside world. Now she doesn’t feel their presence anymore, instead, she’s just walking, alone, in this red space. Getting more, and more vibrant the further she aimlessly travels. Until she eventually sees a spark of light towards the end of it. It’s trying to invite her there, so she approaches the white glow, growing increasingly radiant the closer she gets, eventually, it’s so bright, she has to raise an arm before her eyes to shield her from it.
When she puts it down; she realizes she’s at a beach. Tall rocky cliffs surrounding her on one side, whereas the waves lap at the sandy shores at the other. Except, a dim red filter engulfs everything making them off color. Lifting her hands, she checks her fingers, it doesn’t seem to touch her, so she’s oddly out of place from this scenery.
She straightens her gaze again to chase the horizon.
In the distance, a small silhouette emerges. A child, she's holding something in her hands, running forward until she’s close enough for Lilith to tell, it’s a bridle. She’s flying a kite. Wind, whipping her spiraling black hair, tied up in two pig tails, like ribbons behind her. Wearing a simple white dress that flutters similarly. She’s tilting over her shoulders, bright green eyes squinting in a big smile. The girl waves her arm in an arch, beckoning the two adults following her to hurry up.
Lilith tilts her head up to match who the girl is addressing.
It’s a couple, the woman has an arm hooked around the man. The other pressed atop her head to stop her flower straw hat from flying off. It must have been windy given how wildly her hair, black and wavy, is being tossed along with her crème sundress. Whereas the man, in blue swimming trunks, carries a basket in hand. Walking past her, he too, has green eyes. They don't notice her. In fact, the little girl is running in circles right through her, as if Lilith doesn’t exist.
Are those her parents? Is this her memories? She has no recollection of them, but the girl, she definitely recognizes to be the younger version of herself.
It startles her when she feels another presence to immediately snap her head rightwards. Away from watching her supposed family set up the picnic. Feno emerges from nowhere, joining by her side with a remote in his hand. His exclusion from the red filter hints that he too, isn’t a part of this scene.
He hits a button, changing the imagery. Like an old television, flickering the mountain and ocean into something else. When they focus, they’re in a meadow beneath star washed skies. The pearlescent moon hangs tall above their heads, shedding beams downwards. Again, she sees younger her running through the fields. Butterfly net in hand, swatting at the fireflies that’s resting on grass blades. At the hit of her net, it startles the insects up to drift like dandelions around her. Young her manages to catch a few, before running towards her father to put them into a jar, but Feno switches the scene again.
It makes Lilith curious,
“Why are you here?”
He says simply,
“Searching your memories.” watching the next scene of what looks like her fifth birthday celebration in the dining room. The house itself is somewhat familiar. She feels like she’s seen the flowery wall paper, the vintage décor, the old-school furniture before. But the scene is foreign. She’s sitting at the table, with a cake before her, parents beside her, clasping her hands and before she’s able to watch herself blow out the candles, Feno flips to the next, it’s not what he’s looking for.
“Is this supposed to be my subconscious, or something?”
He replies,
“More or less.” not looking at her. He’s busy with going through her mind like tape recordings. At this point, she’s stopped paying attention them. It’s not like they are exceptionally personal considering that she feels, oddly disconnected to it, so instead, she pries,
“If this is inside my mind, then how are you able to be here?” in her peripheral, young her is carving a pumpkin in a shed. Her mother is helping her. She focuses on Feno again. He’s hitting a triangle button with his thumb to make the scene unfold faster. Setting it on two times speed. Explaining,
“Just like you, I’m not actually physically here.” he sounds a little sluggish, like he’s already bored of her mundane childhood, so he gives her a brief glance to say,
“Real me, is of course in the outside world, just like you are. But I’ve slipped a little of my Vita into you. That’s how I’m able to enter your internal world.”
She tilts her head up to ponder a little bit, before she connects the dots, striking her palm with a fist,
“Oh! So, you’re broadcasting my memories on the crystal ball right now?”
“For recording purposes, yes.”
She points at the new scene,
“That’s a bit voyeuristic.” six-year-old her is playing in a bathtub, beside her, her mother, wearing nothing but a towel lathers her hair from the ledge. Young her, yellow rubber ducky in hand, playfully swats a handful of water towards mother’s face, drenching her hair and making her laugh at her antics.
Feno jabs harder into the little sideways triangle, apologizing formally,
“Sorry. It isn’t my intention to.” like he doesn’t understand she’s just teasing him.
He definitely is a geezer.
Now it’s finally showing something she does recognize.
In the forest surrounding Gildamore. Nine-year-old her is holding an axe in hand. It’s exactly like she remembers, it looks so big on her back then. Trying to lift it up with twig like arms overhead, aiming for the log righted against a previously cut tree stump. Only for the weight to immediately collapse her backwards, like a see-saw. Landing her on her bum. Beside her, Killian, in his off-work, dirty white shirt and grey sweat pants immediately scoffs. It makes her nostalgic seeing his hair was way shorter back then. Flopping messily over his head with the curled ends sticking out in spikes. The expression on his face reminds her what he’d said despite the lack of sounds, ‘you’re so weak.’
That makes Lilith giggle a little. He’s as much of a bum when they have first met as he is now.
Little her instead, snaps towards him to stick her tongue out. It’s after this part where he picks the axe up to demonstrate how she should wield it. Of course, she hadn’t succeeded, so for the next few months following this, he’d made her do pushups and sit ups prior to every meal to build some core strength. It still makes her annoyed recalling he hadn’t let her eat until she’s completed them. He’s so stingy. But in hind sight, food was an extremely decent motivator.
But before the rest of her memories play out, Feno hits the backwards button, seemingly realized that he’s went too far ahead, so she curiously asks,
“What exactly are you searching for?”
He presses the stop button,
“Found it.” setting the stage.
They’re in the middle of an alley way, backs of tall pointed roof houses surrounding them at each side. Down one end, she can see Mother, in a Victorian style dress, dragging young her with her by the wrist as they run down the cobblestone path. She is constantly looking over her shoulders with a paranoid look on her face.
Lilith follows where she’s glancing. Atop the houses, something jets in the background, like it has just leaped from roof to roof. Someone's pursuing them. But it’s moving too quickly for Lilith to see who it is. Immediately, mother brushes aside the heavy dress.
It makes her notice the slit to the side of her thighs. Revealing a garter belt strapped on one, holding a black lace fan in place. With a quick swipe, mother retrieves it, furling it out. Immediately, dagger tips spring out atop of each connector bone. She tosses it at the pursuer with a violent swing of her arm. The fan, cleaving through the air, getting bigger in size until it resembles the rotating blades of a buzz saw. Duplicating into three separate pieces, spinning as it is, towards the dark silhouette.
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At that, the silhouette flips, akin a backwards dive from a pool’s springboard, to dodge the trajectories. Missing her, one above, one below. The moonlight catches her in the horizon. Revealing the bright red dress, she has on. Placing a hand over her head to stop her big circular hat from falling off in the motion, the other, lifting forward, her palm flares out, commanding a huge white skull to ascend before her. Its mouth gapes open to hold a chaotic red ball of Magia, ripping out in a beam to disintegrate the last buzz saw that’s travelling for her still, relentlessly continuing forward, in the direction of her and her mother running beneath. Her red lipstick against her milk white skin makes it easy for Lilith to tell she’s smiling.
Lilith instantly points out,
“That’s her! That’s the woman that I see in my head!” except, she doesn’t quite remember this scene, she’s witnessing it for the first time too.
The beam zigzags through the alley, slicing at buildings as though cutting a cake. Bricks, like cookie crumbles, tumble to the ground to splash in the rain puddles. The cobblestone path too, splits in its clean trajectory. A rupturing fissure, encroaching with the beam towards her and mother, still running. At that, mother yanks, she’s tugging something. It draws her attention towards her hand. There are silver bands around each finger, connected to a wire, so narrow, she’s unable to see it. Instead, she relies on the moon’s reflection to give it away.
It makes her realize the wires are controlling the buzz saws. She’s tugging one forward, flipping it vertical, on its flat side, to catch the beam. Refracting it to skewer through the building off to one side, like a mirror to a laser. Flinching her ring finger, the remaining buzz saw maneuvers like a boomerang, returning for the red woman from behind. But red woman simply obliterates that too with another hover skull’s laser beam.
Then Feno’s soft mutter,
“Interesting...” makes her look away to watch him grip his hand beneath his chin,
“It would appear, your mother is a member of the Hollow Bow.”
She follows his gaze to search at mother’s finger. It’s hard to see because she’s flailing her arm about to deflect the red woman’s relentless attacks. Illuminating the skies with deadly, chaotic light, demolishing everything in its path. With one last buzz saw, mother is forced on the defensive. The constant forward running isn’t helping either, they’re scampering for the exit towards the main road. Mother stringing her along with the other hand, quickly ushering her towards the house on the other side.
It’s only at that moment, she realizes, Feno’s right. Mother does have an adventurer’s ring. Engraved with a sigil of a bow, atop of it. So, she asks,
“Didn’t they disappear after losing the west to Felmane?” it was big news for a couple of years. Major guilds don’t just disband after losing Guild wars. Most of the time, they’re relegated to lesser local governmental positions, like the ones Maverick and Sandy Niles hold.
He says,
“Remember the odd activities I mentioned? The disappearance of Hollow Bow is one of them.” like he’s read her mind,
“We initially suspected foul play on Felmane’s part. But they are clean. There are also few motives for them to do so, considering they have officially won the territories in the quadrennial Guild wars event.” despite not looking away from the scene,
“To think, I will be finding out the answer here...” he trails off, too invested in what’s going so she matches his gaze.
The doors of the house are open. She can see her father rushing out to receive young Lilith at the front gates, he too, is in a Victorian style trench coat, holding something that looks like a conductor’s baton in his hand, a matching adventurer’s ring on his finger. Golden Magia, resembling the afterimage of sparkle sticks, forms in a circle that he drew. A leopard leaps out from the center, its fur, radiant as lightning makes it look like a bolt when the animal pounces upwards. Overhead mother, towards red woman who’s seated, legs crossed, atop her floating skull. Two more hovering by her sides.
She waves a hand, commanding another skull to combat the animal. At that, mother quickly drags her into the house, away from the flash of red that goes off behind them. She has a phone in hand, calling for backups. Up the stairs, mother pushes her into a room. Hurriedly closing the door behind her to quickly run outside to aid her husband. Young her is slamming her shoulders against it. Lilith can tell she doesn’t want to be there. When it doesn’t work, she darts for the windows above the bed, pushing aside the myriad of stuffed toys atop of the pillow. But little can be seen from it considering the room’s facing the opposite direction. She attempts to yank at it, it won’t open. The windows are fortified with a Magia field.
These memories are starting to feel familiar. Lilith remembers this. The next plays out like how she recalls. She’s running for the vanity table chair. Dragging it out and towards the locked door. With all her feeble strength, she lifts it over her head to smash it against the lock. It didn’t work the first time, so she tries again. Again, again. The lights suddenly go out. Even in the pitch darkness, she’s unrelenting. She recalls how she’s felt. There’s a dread in her mouth, a panic screaming at her to get out of here. She even remembers how fast her heart was thumping. With one last desperate strike, the chair shatters, taking the bronze knob with it to the ground. She bolts out the hallway, for the stairs at the very end. Running downwards and skipping steps on the double. She sees the back of her mother and father standing at the entrance.
Distracted, mother is giving her a look over the shoulders, before a beam of light jets through her midsection. She watches blood spray from her mouth. In her dying breath, she’s straightening her head, as though she hadn’t wanted Lilith to witness that. Father rushes forward to catch her, cradling her in his arm, with another hand. He points the baton forward, waving it about. Commanding the leopard, electricity, sparking from its fur, outside to leap for the red woman. She’s slowly, approaching forward, down their front porch.
With hand raised by her side, she catches the animal in a clutch. Her fingers, clenching down with so much strength, veins are popping from it. Ignoring the sparks that’s electrocuting her and exploding the leopard’s head like an egg in her grasp. It’s body collapses to the ground, flaking to golden light. Red woman, brings her arm forward. Pointing, in the same instance, a beam of red Magia, jets through the walls, right above the door in diagonal from the floating skull that has lined up above her. Spearing through father’s head and the floor all at once. Completely disintegrating it into dust.
He collapses too.
At that, young Lilith, with hesitant steps, traverses down the stairs. Holding herself stable with a hand to the rails.
This is the scene that she frequently sees. The red woman, standing by her open-door way. Behind her, the blistering rain continues to pour, but she looks completely dry. Her big circular hat casts a heavy shadow right beneath her cheekbones so she’s unable to see her eyes. Around her, blood begins puddling, oozing out from her dead parents. Seeping around her feet. The woman’s moving her lips, saying something, something that she doesn’t remember. She couldn’t remember.
Why can’t she remember?
Suddenly, a presence attracts her glance sideways. The red woman appears from nowhere, only way more vibrant. Untouched by the red filter. There’s two of her now. One behind Feno, and another in the scene. Feno doesn’t seem to notice her when she slips a hand over his eyes. In fact, he, appears to be frozen. Red woman gives her small glance. Gracefully bringing a finger over her lips like she's telling her to hush. Before straightening forward, she’s requesting her to watch the rest of scene play out.
It’s exactly how she remembers it. The red woman bends down, levelling to her eye and reaches a hand to tuck Lilith’s hair behind her ear. Leaning forward, she presses a kiss to the top of her head. Saying something, in a gentle smile.
Why can’t she hear it? She wants to know what she’s saying.
Despite Lilith can’t see her face, she can tell, there are tears streaming down the side of her cheeks. It makes Lilith want to cry too. There’s this insufferable bitterness welling in her chest. Exactly the same way she’s felt back then. When the red woman tries to get up, young Lilith throws her arms around her. She’s asking her not to go.
Why is that? It makes her confused, isn’t she supposed to be the bad guy? Why doesn’t she feel hatred for this woman that has just killed her parents? In fact, it’s a different sensation. Even now, it hits her, one that pulls her heart, and punches to her gut.
Longing.
She wants to see her. She wants to be with her. She can feel tears welling in her own eyes, but she doesn’t know why.
In her memory, red woman, gently peels her arms off her to get up. Behind her, more Hollow Bow guild members start gathering outside, pouring in like soldiers. They look hostile. She raises both hands by her sides, lifting the badly mutilated corpses of her dead parents, as if puppets beside her. Then she turns her back from young Lilith to defend her from them.
That’s when the real red woman beside her waves her finger in a small counter clockwise circle. The memories backtrack, like a tape on rewind. Stopping it at the door way again. Before Lilith’s able to confront her about what’s going on, she disappears in a red mist. Fading into nothingness.
At that, ever the subtle, she can see the raise and dips in Feno’s chest to indicate that he’s breathing. He's unfrozen. Watching the scene as though nothing has happened.
So, she holds back, observing with him.
This time, the red woman is vicious, grabbing her up by the neck. Strangling her in the air. Red Magia, spiraling down her arm to seep within her. Young Lilith struggles against her, clawing at her hand, before her supposedly dead mother. With one final twitch of her finger, sends her saw blade, spinning through the air to cleave her arm clean off. Dropping Lilith to the ground. Blood, begins pouring down the wound, but it’s behaving slightly different. It’s reforming the shape where her hand use to be. Regrowing it. Red woman flexes her fingers, before waving another blast of red, beaming in through the ceiling, to completely obliterate the bodies. Burning the carpet and wooden floorboards to the soil beneath. Leaving a gaping hole in its place, that even the walls collapse. Taking the front of the house with it.
Above her head, the floating skull descends. Positioning itself before young Lilith with its jaws hinged open. Preparing to fire another blast. Welling in red light, but before it does. A bright gold Magia comes crashing in behind her, forcing red woman to spin her skull the opposite direction to combat it. Pushing the gold back with harsh red. The caster catches up, along with more Hollow Bow adventurers summoned through doors and portals. Collecting on the main road. This time, as if to rescue her. Red woman turns on her heels to confront them instead.
Seeing this, makes her realize; red woman has rewritten the memory, replacing it with a fake. But why is that? Then Feno’s remarks snap her out of her thoughts,
“I see... So, this is how it is...” he sighs, closing his eyes as if he couldn’t bear to watch the one-sided slaughter,
“I suppose, this will suffice.”
At that, everything abruptly fades to black. She’s startled back to reality again. Her vision, flying open to harsh sunlight that is way too bright. It’s like she’s been rudely shaken awake from a confusing dream. And the first thing she sees is Feno before her, slowly unlidding his eyes to a contemplating stare.
Doesn’t feel like the best of mornings.
The green swirls of Magia around the crystal slowly dissipates. Clearing into glass. It draws her attention over her shoulders when she hears Cyan, in a really panicked voice shouts,
“Lilith!” he’s rushing forward to defensively drag her back. Towards the frame where Mereekh has positioned himself with his arms crossed. She straightens her gaze to examine Feno. He still isn’t saying anything, instead, he’s holding beneath his chin, pondering in deep thoughts to piece together what he’d just witness.
A moment passes, two moments. This silence in the air, apt to collapse. It’s making her unnecessarily nervous.
Finally, Mereekh’s the one that breaks it with a question, asking Feno,
“So, what’s the verdict?”