"Bahhhhh!" William made the goat-sheep equivalent of a facepalm, which didn't involve trying to paw his own snout. But I noticed he used his Perk to appear as a normal Tityron.

I was proud that, for once, I didn't need Alice to come and rescue me. But what she implied set my cheeks on fire. I couldn't even glance at Kara to see her reaction. We climbed the rest of the stairs to the first-floor boss room.

"Hey, you there!" Alice waved at us with her trademarked smug elf smile. As if she'd caught us in the act.

Sleepy bounded to smell her feet. Satisfied, he returned and jumped on William's back.

"Guild Master," Kara said in her business voice. Thank you for coming to get us out." Her tone was one of defiance.

"Well, it seems it wasn't needed. But I must ask, what happened to your equipment?"

I took a step ahead. "Destroyed when the Dungeon Core exploded. Only the magical items survived. Though my hat was nowhere to be found."

"Fair enough," she tapped her cheek with a finger. "What about the others?"

"All dead," I said with a grimace and a shake of my head. "Including that guy I won't name."

Kara sighed. We took turns explaining what happened to Alice. Minutes later, we ended the tale. It was weird reducing a person's life to "he fought and then he died."

"We need to go back and retrieve something belonging to Hector. If your magic items survived the explosion, maybe one of his survived too. The Lord won't directly accuse you of murdering his son, not with the contract enforced by the System but anything below that can fly. I really don't want to kill him and take over the city."

Alice believed it was a bother to rule anything more than her Guild branch. I thought that was the only reason she held back during the Dungeon Raid negotiations. That and Josephine's presence.

"Can we stay here? We just climbed all these stairs," I asked.

"Sure," she placed a hand on her satchel and pulled a chest out. It was weird seeing the chest stretch and grow as it came out of her small satchel. The chest was a meter tall at the hinges and two meters wide by one and a half deep. It was a big-ass chest. "There's assorted clothing in there, you can take whatever. And you must want some food and drink too."

Alice approached us. She reached inside her satchel and took comfortable leather loafers and wool socks.

"Captain Kara, here. I want you to have these. The shoes are enchanted and will resize to fit you. The socks are mundane."

Kara was still wary. I reached out and took the shoes, glaring at Alice. "No take-backs!"

"It was intended as a gift!" The elf protested and took the shoes back. "Actually. Kara, I am sorry."

My world shattered. Alice, apologizing? Did we die and go to another parallel dimension?

"Don't give me that look!" Alice protested with a bashful and whiny voice.

Definitely. The explosion knocked us into a parallel dimension.

Alice produced a tea table and two chairs from her satchel. These pieces of furniture wouldn't be amiss in any Imperial palace's gardens and were probably stolen from one such place. She then placed snacks and bottles of beverages on top of it. Lit candles floated above the table, high enough to not obstruct the view. Without any further words, she flew down the stairs, reciting a spell to push the rock away from her, creating a scalding red cylindrical tunnel as she went.

*

*

I opened the chest and found a ton of clothes in there, neatly folded and smelling of lavender. It had everything, from men, women, children, and lizard people's clothes. To ogre loincloths. Including everything from underwear, shoes, belts, sashes, and even neckties. Where did she get these, I had no idea and no desire to ask. It could be from a thousand years ago when she raided some clothing store, or from her defeated enemies.

"Do you want to get new clothes?" I asked Kara.

She smiled, then nodded. "Can you pick something for me to wear?"

It was a test, I knew it. I rummaged through the clothes, then selected a blue dress with some sewn stones for her. I showed her some underwear, panties, and some top options. She picked what she wanted, and then I turned my back to her.

"Thank you. This looks lovely." I heard her hum while fabrics rustled. "There. You can look now."

I turned. Kara looked lovely in that blue dress. I took my time admiring the woman I fell for. Then I met her eyes. She looked away.

"Do I seem ugly?" She asked.

"Not at all."

"I'm bald. And disfigured!" She protested.

"So am I. We will need to see a Flesh Shaper but you will make a full recovery. It's expensive but we have a huge reward waiting for us." I said as I approached and touched her scars. She pushed my hand away. "Kara. Look at me." She didn't. I took her chin and moved her head, finding no resistance. Kara was crying. "Can you tell if I'm lying?"

She snorted, sniffled, then shook her head. "You are a pretty bad liar."

"Thank you. Then tell me if this is a lie. You are the most beautiful woman in the world for me. Even without hair. Even with burn marks that will disappear."

She sputtered, pulled back, took a step away, then covered her face. Kara trembled. I was expecting a slap to the face and wouldn't dodge. Instead, she jumped and threw her arms around me. "You cheesy bastard," she whispered in my ear.

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We kissed, and then Kara picked clothes for me. After we were dressed for the occasion, we helped ourselves to Alice's tea set.

*

*

We slept for six hours and then talked for some time before Alice returned.

"Did you find Hector?" I asked.

"See for yourself," She said, then proceeded to dump Hector's partially molten armor on the ground next to his dancing sword. She showed the only intact item she found. "It's a storage ring. Quite spacious. The armor and the sword may be salvageable, I can still sense a faint lingering magic in them but I need to see if Haru can do anything with them. It might be more profitable to just ransom it to the Lord. Oh, and I found your hat."

She tossed it to me. It was charred, and threadbare, but I could still feel the bond. Once in my hands, I started to pour hundreds of MP to repair it.

"Thank you."

"Now, let's get out of here. I have some instructions for you but we can talk on the way."

*

*

It was night when we finally set foot back on the island. I was glad for it because, after all these weeks under the ground, the sunlight would blind us. Our world was already too bright with the blue and yellow suns. Now that we were back on the surface, I dreaded dealing with the aftermath of the failed expedition. The Core exploded, and everyone else was dead. Hector was dead. William… wasn't a ghost. I was still curious how he survived. And what that ethereal transformation was.

I digress. The Lord was going to be furious. The System contract we signed at the church shielded us from the worst but only Alice could keep us out of his reach.

Then, the System slammed us with more bad news.

> You gained the achievement, Dungeon Raider. Awarded for successfully raiding a Dungeon Core above your level and returning to the surface with the Dungeon Breaker.

> Benefit: Ten percent Attribute Efficiency for all of your and Skippy's Attributes. William already got his reward.

"Kara, did you…"

She nodded.

"Bahhhhh!" William demurely shrugged.

The fear of people finding out about William was so great I felt my balance waver. Alice floated around me and supported me from behind.

"William needs to learn how to conceal his magical aura," Alice said. "But don't worry, almost nobody in the city will sense it."

Silly me, trying to hide the fact that William had cracked that Dungeon Core.

"But did the Core explode? Did William strike the Core the moment it went off but before it could be destroyed by its own explosion? How did he survive?"

"There's a Perk for that," I said with a sigh.

"Okay. This stays between the three of us," Alice said. "It will be a shitshow if people learn of what really happened. You will be questioned about this, most likely at another visit to the temple. Did any of you witness the Core explosion? Don't answer. You didn't. I can see the burn marks. You were fleeing from it, far away from the explosion. You would be dead otherwise. When questioned, you will say only three things. First, that you didn't break the Core. Second, that you were away from the Core when it exploded. And third, that only you two survived. No speculation, no telling how people died. You weren't directly or indirectly involved in any deaths or we would know through the original contract. And that is it. This tale dies with the two of you. That, or this tale will be the death of you. Your choice."

Kara and I had the same reaction. We shuddered as if the grim reaper had rubbed our spines with their cold scythe.

"Understood."

"They will try to rephrase the questions but you will say only that," Alice said. "We can rehearse it later on. Let's go home. I have a carriage waiting for us near the bridge."

She had the light orbs follow above us, flooding the woods around us with light. Four giant Ocypus beetles were grazing near the carriage. As we approached, the Driver whistled and the gentle monsters came to let him attach them to the harnesses.

Alice sighed and reached for Kara's hand. "Come with me. The boys wait outside for a while."

Kara didn't want to go but she wanted to offend Alice even less. The women went into the carriage and closed the curtains.

"Bahhhhh!" William complained, indignant.

I scratched behind his ears. "I know, buddy."

I could use some time to digest what happened. But not the hour they took inside.

*

*

The door opened. Kara wore a floral sundress and a blonde wig. It was shocking but her smile put a fire in my heart.

We boarded the Ocypus-pulled carriage. I didn't miss the fact that Baron Montmour's mansion was missing. A charred crater occupied the site. I glanced at Alice, she stared out the window and made sure to avoid eye contact.

Bloody hells, Alice!

Ocypus beetles were damn cheap and easy to care for. But they were slow as molasses. We rode for four hours back to town. Kara held my hand all the way but we fell asleep soon after departure.

It was good to be home. I felt sorry for Hector but in hindsight, he was unsuited for the task. His descent into madness was a harrowing tale about greed, entitlement, and the burdens of leadership. A sobering tale.

*

*

We should have gone straight to the castle, with a victory parade just like when the Wolfertinger Sire was defeated. If the expedition was successful and we were victorious, that was. Hector would be leading us. Instead, we took the road that would lead us to the Guild Hall.

A group of army knights was stationed near the Guild Hall when we approached. They recognized Alice's carriage and blocked the street.

"Halt!" An officer shouted. "Prepare for inspection!"

Alice opened a hatch on the ceiling and flew out. The hatch shut right after she passed. Inside the carriage, we could only hear what was going on. Because I wouldn't open the doors, not even for a dragon.

"You try to block my transport, Colonel, and I'll schedule a meeting with the Gods for you."

"Guild Master, we have orders–"

"I am not seeing your men clear the street, Colonel. Move or be moved on the count of five."

"Four."

"Guild –"

"Three!"

"-- Master."

"Two!!"

"MAKE WAY!"

Marching boots on cobblestones hurriedly scrambled away.

"Thank you, Colonel. You may go and report this: 'Guild Master Alice has the survivors of the expedition with her but it is late and everyone is tired. Tomorrow, two hours after noon, they will be at the System temple to offer all the information they can to the Lord's satisfaction. She also stated that anyone trying to infringe on the rights of her wards or the Guild will be polymorphed into a Goblin. Permanently. She will then place a bounty of one gold coin on every confirmed Goblin kill inside the city."

The Colonel played his last hand. "Guard Captain Kara is required to report for duty."

Alice giggled. "Nope... She's my hostage. Driver, take us inside the complex."

The carriage moved. I made sure all the curtains were closed. Kara was oddly calm. I reached for her hand and held it.

"Are you okay with that?"

"Strangely, yes," she laughed nervously. "Does it mean I am being kidnapped? Like a Princess?"

Was she… man, I was so confused. I had no idea of what was going on in her mind. And she was older than me, twenty-five to sixteen. Was she roleplaying, was she sad and hiding her pain under that veneer, was she enjoying all this? I decided to take a risk and go along.

"Yes. You are now my hostage and you–"

She broke into a fit of giggles at my terrible impression of a villain. Caricature, is more likely.

"Kyaa! Please, I will do anything you want, just don't hurt me!"

I heard Alice snort and laugh above the carriage. But the way Kara said "anything"... stirred something in me. Some thoughts I was trying to avoid…

I pulled her on my lap. Kara wrapped her arms around my neck and pressed her body against mine. That sundress was too thin. I could feel her as if we were touching skin to skin. Then my mind betrayed me by making me remember her naked inside the Dungeon.

Kara tried to hold my shin but the hat repelled her. She took it off my bald head and tossed it away. Sleepy jumped and snatched it. Then she tilted my head up and stared into my eyes.

"It's okay," she whispered in my ear.

I think I heard the sound of popcorn popping outside the carriage. It must be my imagination because I couldn't think of anything. At all. A primal instinct was trying to take over my mind but my civilized.

Kara touched me. William put a hoof in front of Sleepy's eyes. Something using a cherry as a metaphor happened.

And now we interrupt this narrative and fast forward to the meeting at the temple. Shh. It is already embarrassing enough that Alice later reminded me the carriage wasn't soundproof.