6: FLAW IN FAIRYTALE
//
8:33 A.M. // 8 - 29 - 2023 // Arc
Starring Serene Goldwin
Featuring Cedrance Manamune
//
—Beep
In addition to these points, the total amount one has ever earned, which also includes the total spent amount, will contribute to one’s ranking.
—Beep
The higher one’s ranking, the greater their privilege, and even desirability outside of ARC.
I paused the video.
Wow. This was boring.
—Beep
“Hey,” Cedrance said, confused, “why’d you pause?” He stopped and nudged me slightly as I sat there, unmoving. “We should finish this now so you can rest later. Didn’t you say you were feeling okay now?”
—Beep
I glared up at him. The Guide menu appeared, and my frown deepened. My only reward for going to hell floated in front of me.
“No.” The screen closed, on it my reward of a single Guide.
—Beep
He looked more confused. “Sorry?”
I shook my head. “Never mind. Does this thing ever stop beeping?” I motioned my chin to the machine that the doctors had hooked me up to. Something about a heart rate monitor and heart attack. Or something. I wasn’t listening then, but now I had no choice but to listen to the monotonous and constant beeps. It was driving me insane.
—Beep
“Shut up.”
Cedrance shrunk.
“Not you.”
We were silent for a while. My eyes were down at the white sheets resting on my legs. If I looked up I knew I’d see Cedrance’s concerned expression. Man, was I tired of him and his overattentiveness.
Even his face, one that was fantasy before was now commonplace, and quite frankly uninteresting. It was the same handsome every day, just a face on a person, a person who so infuriatingly didn’t have a good personality. Cedrance was clearly a good person, but to me, it felt like he was less of a person and more of some sort of knight in shining armor filling a status quo for a story.
“You know, you can stop staring at me and just say what you’re thinking,” I said finally. “I don’t mind.” My gaze landed on him.
He nodded with a relieved expression. “Really?”
“Well, probably.”
His expression dimmed a little. “Serene, I know this might be a bit of a sensitive topic right now, considering, well, you know.” He pointed his chin at me.
I nodded. “It’s okay now. The healers here did a great—”
“I’m not talking about that,” Cedrance interrupted me. He cleared his throat apologetically, and with a little breath, said, “I was going to ask you this earlier, but you were in, uh, a bad mood. What happened earlier?” His look didn’t speak of pity or sadness, or anything mostly. Just a desire for the truth, and honesty.
I blinked. A heavy clutch of lead grasped at my chest. Sometimes Cedrance could be surprisingly cute, as far as I knew him.
“Well,” I began, “it started… well enough. They were nice to me, tried giving me some company, cause, well, I was alone. So it was only natural that I returned the favor of being nice back.” The story already felt difficult to retell, like the lead was tightening, but I proceeded nevertheless. “And, um, you know… they were… not as they seemed. I thought,” I continued, now struggling to speak. It felt like the lead chains were now squeezing the balloon that was my heart, about to burst and splinter.
I breathed for unclotted air as casually as I could, the tears visible at the edge of my eyes. “They gave me chocolates, and being p-polite, I tried one and smiled, saying I liked it.” Stop crying. I blinked rapidly now, embarrassed, but I kept going. “Th-they smiled too, and s-suddenly I was tired. And when I w-w-woke up…” Another sob escaped my throat. My voice was at least an octave higher.
“They attacked you, right?” Cedrance spoke gently, and placing his hands on mine he held them firmly. It was a comfort in the brewing storm of emotions taking over my mind.
I gave him a pathetic nod, but he leaned out of his chair towards me. His arms wrapped around me in a sudden embrace.
“You deserve so much better.”
He stayed there for a moment. It felt warm in his arms. I felt unsure of what to do.
Then the memories began tumbling. My real memories. First it was one. I hugged my mom after our nightly prayer. She was sad because her uncle had recently passed away. I didn’t know that until later, but in that moment I hugged her because she looked sad. She didn’t cry. She doesn’t cry.
I shouldn’t cry, then.
Next, my second grade teacher hugging me. Maybe she was sad to let go of her students, each she had seen grow up every single day in her classroom. She wished us all well, and hugged each one like the last. When it came my turn, though it was the same as my peers her farewell hug felt good. It felt special. Maybe it was special. I liked her a lot.
Then my dad hugging me, only to lift me up into the air and onto his shoulders. I could see the world, from the roof of my house to the toys downstairs. At the beach he’d do this, we’d run around the sand yelling like warriors and play until my brother gave up, breathless, and my mother gave spankings for dirtying the car. Good days.
Then there was an Award Ceremony. It didn’t matter what it was about, just that my friend hugged me for the first time as I lifted my hands up with the first place trophy. In the audience my brother nodded. He never hugged anyone, just nodded his approval. My friend and I celebrated on a call that night. We played video games until her mom shut down her internet. I wondered if the server was still active without me.
Maybe I should have treasured when my cousins teased me for writing the name of my crush on the wall in invisible ink. Or when they and my dad cheered as my ping pong ball narrowly made the point as it hit the edge, securing me a win against my grumbling brother, or when I got sick playing basketball with my eldest cousin and stayed at home on a school day, or when my aunt made us boba and all sorts of jellos whenever we visited, or when my dentist uncle cut out my cavity…
How happy was I when my whole extended family celebrated as I gifted both my mom and my dad AirPods with my saved money from taking my dad’s spare change? When I finally beat the bullies at handball? On that day, I think my brother cussed them out when they talked trash to me. He was good for something that day, for once. The times when I went to my beloved godmother’s house for parties, I slept as twenty people from my whole family counted down in the living room for the new year.
Vacations were wonderful too, spring or fall we always traveled together. Parties, friends, family, crushes, bullies, cousins, my dog,… I… I…
I…
The tears of regret flooded down my cheeks.
It hit me at that moment.
“I miss you, Mom, Dad,” I cried softly. My chest hurt so much from the memories, crying was a release. “Oh, I miss you.”
All my built up energy stored from the last few years, stuck inside another world without my family, without a home I could call home, all of it came out with each gut wrenching and ugly tear.
“I miss you so much, you don’t even know, I…” Every hiccup was louder than the last until I was breaking down on the small white bed, with a beeping machine and a boyfriend beside me.
I just wanted to go home. I wanted my mom for her love. My dad for his attention. My brother for his affirmation, my cousins for their honesty, my uncles for their joy, my aunts for their protectiveness, my grandparents for their wisdom… should there be a reason for why I should love my family?
“I just want you, “Cedrance smiled. I momentarily stopped bawling. Did I say something out loud? I faintly noticed he still hadn’t let go of me. It wasn’t calming, it wasn’t annoying, it wasn’t any feeling, and though as unfeeling to him as I was it felt right. He was there for me. Maybe I should have enjoyed how honestly he smiled when he was with me, or how his arms around me were warm and strong like a shield, and full of care and almost possessiveness. Like how his eyes gave me attention whenever I so much as glanced at him.
And maybe I shouldn’t have cried harder when he said those words, how he gave me his shoulder to wail into.
Soon I’d run all out of tears, but still then I knew that his arms would still be around me. Clearly, Cedrance wouldn’t run all out of love.
A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.
//
9:41 A.M. // 4 - 28 - 2020 // The Institution For The Gifted
Starring Gwen Olynn
//
Gwen’s hand in the box ruffled and shuffled about and about.
Please, please, be Avil. Please be Avil.
“Hey, hurry up and choose already,” someone called out behind her. “You’ve been at it for 30 seconds now.” Embarrassment flushed her face, but she unashamedly nodded her head. Don’t let it show.
“Mmm.”
She pulled out a little paper and unfolded it, closing her eyes she counted. 1. 2. 3. Gwen took a quick huff of breath and looked back down. Then she read the name out loud.
“Reyenal Ato.” Gwen hid the disappointment on her face with a mask of happiness. Reyenal Ato was second ranked in their year, so Gwen would have an easy time in the test dungeon, smiling much to the chagrin of all the other students vying for her. In the crowd of faces, only one stood out with familiarity, the one who passed by Gwen as she returned back and he walked forward to the box, and gave her a quick face of mixed feelings.
A nib of disappointment, a touch of sadness, a hint of envy, a dash of good will. It was acceptance. Avil looked away.
Gwen found Reyenal’s hand in the air, and she squeezed through the crowd to get to her, ignoring all the envious students around her.
She looked back as Avil reached into the box and pulled out a name.
“Cedrance.”
…
The sound of talking and laughing, spoon and fork against bowl and plate, people all around her. The cafeteria was loud.
“Hey, do you mind if I sit here?”
Gwen looked up from her bowl of soup at Cedrance.
“You’ve been doing it for a week already. Suit yourself.”
She looked back down and frowned as he sat down next to Avil, opposite of her. She took another sip and nibbled on the roasted chicken, which warmed her itchy throat.
“Are you still sick?” Cedrance asked conveniently. Gwen didn’t answer.
“Yeah, she is,” Avil said through his food.
Gwen didn’t need to look around the room to see the eyes of so many jealous girls on her. Under their facade of polite chatter were the poisonous daggers at her direction. Get away from our Cedrance.
Some guys looked her way too. Moreover, they glared at Avil. How did he manage to become the Cedrance’s friend? The first ranker with some no-name and no-life.
She spooned more soup into her mouth.
…
“Hey, ‘scuse me, you’re a bit too close,” Gwen finally piped up. Lines of sweat stained her PE uniform from the suffocating sun and the people around her. Why were so many of the high rankers sitting so close to her? And only the girls? The bleachers were hot, the excitement of the game was high, and the girls huddling into her almost like predators. Their collective body heat was killing her.
“There’s plenty of space,” She pointed out. “Please move.” The girls around her gave her only sideward glances and she shied into her seat.
“What are you talking about?” One of the girl said obnoxiously. Melinda.
“We’re just trying to get the best view of Cedrance,” she giggled, and her words caused the others to make sounds of excitement.
“Okay,” Gwen furrowed her eyebrows. “I’ll move then.” But as she got up, the girls shifted up alongside her and squeezed her in and down even more. It wasn’t just uncomfortable anymore, it was downright painful.
“Stop,” Gwen managed through her tight lips, and gasped for air through all the shoving. They squished her and pushed her around like some sort of plushy. “Move!”
“Why?” Another girl sneered. “If he looks your way, he looks our way too. Isn’t it a win-win for all of us? Girl, just sit back down and look pretty. Well, I mean, as pretty as someone like you can look.”
They were so blatant now how much they were picking on her for the past few days. Life at the Institution was becoming hell. Gwen was convinced now that the devil’s minions were girls.
…
“Gwen, where were you yesterday? Were you sick again?”
Gwen haggardly looked up. Avil’s face had an almost, ‘oh, this again?’ feeling to it contrary to his words. Her head still ached from the sounds of arguing and smells of perfume from the girl’s locker room just behind her. Just as the water dripped from her hair, she bathed in the sun to help dry off and also with two towels, one on the ground already soaked.
Should she say something?
Did she need to?
Then she noticed Cedrance just behind Avil, towering above the small boy.
“I’m fine. Yeah, wasn’t feeling good.” Not with him around. She wouldn’t say anything except lies.
“You’re so wet, though,” Cedrance pointed out. “I know the activities today might have been a bit exhausting, but-”
“I just sweat a lot when I’m sick and tired.” Gwen said with a stone face. Did they not hear the the bully-girls cackling loudly about spraying her with water, or the obviously drenched towel just beside her?
Noticing her expression, Avil shrugged. “That means she showered and we’re asking her dumb questions.”
No, Avil didn’t understand at all.
Gwen smelled terrible.
…
The doorbell rung the familiar chime. Followed by two knocks.
Someone answered the door. Father, probably.
Gwen could make out a girl’s voice even from inside her room.
What was Reyenal doing here?
“Excuse me, are you Mr. Olynn by any chance?” Her father gave a faint response that Gwen couldn’t make out.
“Oh, yes, please,” Reyenal replied respectfully, “is it possible that I can see her right now?”
Refuse. Father, say no.
The door closed, and Gwen breathed her relief. Two knocks on her bedroom door to her left.
No more relief.
“Who is it?” she asked tiredly. She was already mentally preparing for—
“Reyenal Ato. Can I come in?”
“Why are you here?” I asked her half-heartedly. Maybe she knew I was sick and couldn’t attend as her lecture partner. Was she angry? Was she going to berate me, telling me my worth and how lucky I was to even be partners with her, and…
“I’m here to make a deal.” Reyenal said something else.
Gwen sat up in her bed.
//
6:15 A.M. // 5 - 15 - 2023 // Oakcrest Sepulcher Cemetery
Starring Cedrance Manamune
//
It was still dark outside the window, the sound of the engine and somber were the only tangible things in the car.
The way to the cemetery always was eerie early in the morning, but calming in the sense that he was letting a part of his heavy heart go to rest.
He couldn’t afford to think of it any other way.
Mr. Daniase, Paps, looked back solemnly to Cedrance, whose eyes were glazed forward into Ma’s seat. Avil beside him had also come along, but said nothing and was about as still as bones.
“Buddy, we’re almost there,” Paps said quietly, his voice deep and consoling.
Cedrance rustled with the two bouquets of flowers in his hands. Maybe they’d like lilies. He’d never know.
“Thank you,” Cedrance said quietly.
Ma rustled in her seat. “For what?”
Silence. “For taking me here tonight.” He looked back out the window. Twice already he’d seen the sight of the entrance to the cemetery, not more for his fear of the dead and not less for the anniversary of his mourning.
And for everything you’ve done for me.
He saw Ma’s sad smile through her seat. “It’s only right.”
Unspoken words filled the car like hunger pangs in an empty stomach, the loneliness of gratitude left to sit on the tongue.
Yet even so the lapses of time they spent together, father, mother, son, and brother. They were home and comfort. They were peace and joy. Silence and knowledge of one another filled the gaps of these times, such that Ma knew Ced’s words before he spoke them and the meaning after. Only a mother had this power.
A moment resting, then the other of the car clicking unlocked, the door opening Ma first and offering Cedrance a hand. He shook his head and unbuckled wordlessly, and Ma nodded. Nobody followed him.
As he walked forward in the dry mist of the dead, Cedrance felt alone; he was alone. But he wasn’t lonely. He looked up. No star had the right to be so pretty on such a sad day. No, the stars didn’t go away, but only lit up the steps ahead to the grave, the cadence of each step on the soft dirt and the miracle of life, of grass, of flowers, all around which shrouded and buried the dead and the thoughts. The grass was a pale blue in the moonlight. Cedrance closed his eyes then. The gravestones around him mattered little yet so much at the same time.
Each person there was loved, then taken away by death. Cold, faceless, ugly death.
Finally there he stood still, the gravestones at his feet. There were two names.
Zoe Manna
Noeh Manna
Cedrance read them differently.
Mom
Dad
“I swear,” Cedrance said slowly, kneeling down to the floor. He shivered not to the morning cold, the breezeless dark, nor the mourning flowers which he rested on the graves.
No.
“If I ever find whoever did this to you,” he shook violently, “I will get my revenge.”