Confronting my past life, the regrets, and that what might have been was cathartic. A soul cleansing, even more of a rebirth that uploading myself into a virtual world hadn't offered. Genesis had explained my circumstances and guided me into this world, but she had done nothing about the baggage that I had brought with me. She had had no way to heal my emotional distress at the betrayal I had felt.
This stage of my tribulation sloughed those past sins, healing grievances and regrets. Leaving me free to embrace this life and the new set of mistakes I had made since my rebirth. There were a few I had already made, some I hadn't considered my responsibility.
Nero losing his leg had left me feeling guilty ever since. He had been chasing me when I'd lead him into that Troodon pack. His blunder into the animals was his own fault, if he hadn't been so focused on getting to me, it wouldn't have happened. But issues of guilt don't always make sense. The tribulation made clear that I felt partially responsible for his injury.
There were other lingering feelings of guilt that centered around the mission that had rewarded me with a Roc companion, shares in a spirit mine, and the Heavenly opportunity that gave me the [Dao of Movement]. I had gained so much from that mission, but I had done nothing to resolve the pressures that Sophie, that young girl, and her family found themselves under. I had left them to fend for themselves, enriched and with the knowledge that might allow them to fight back, but I had made no attempt to follow up on her situation or offer any substantive aid.
Of course, the largest emotional baggage that needed to be lanced concerned Niake and Braun. I did regret how my relationship with Niake had ended, not because of anything that I might have done differently, but that she had been forced into her choice. The tribulation was able to show me the possibilities, that path her life may have taken if she had stood up to Braun and put more importance on our friendship.
She didn't gain the attention of Elder Shadow or soon after Elder Tye at that shop when I had named Braun a liar. Both Elders had given me the gift of their time, more importantly, their protection. They had personalized the training that I had received. And it was because they lavished me with so much attention, that Elder An wasn't more blatant about dealing with me.
Niake would have been targeted by Braun and his people without that protection. And when they found they couldn't get to me; they would have taken their frustrations out on her. Heaven's tribulation showed me a few futures where that pressure forced her to grow stronger, to steel herself into becoming a formidable cultivator, the kind of woman that would laugh in the face of her enemies while spitting in the eye of her tormentors.
But in too many of the possible futures, I was shown, she crumbled under the pressure, never advancing beyond the Body Refinement Realm. And in a few of the more horrific time-lines, she either died early or turned into a different kind of monster. Her resentment and anger isolating her, allowing those emotions to fester until she walked the path of the traveling cultivator, searching for, finding, and practicing forbidden techniques. Techniques that involve blood sacrifice and trafficking with demons.
I had believed I'd understood her motivation, that I had accepted her need to act as she had. But it was only when I saw how her future might have unfolded if she had remained steadfast if she had placed our friendship over her future that I admitted she had made the right decision. And the pleasure I had taken on that flight back from Dragon Spire when she had attempted to apologize, to explain, maybe even to reconcile, was unwarranted and ill-mannered.
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I wouldn't and couldn't hold her choices against her any longer. She had had no real choice, not if she wanted to prosper. She had her own family and people that were depending on her. I had met her mother and father. I had seen the fierce love and pride they had felt as they watched their daughter begin her path. A path they were certain would lead to greatness. A greatness that they hoped would allow them to elevate their Family name.
I wasn't sure what would happen to her now, if her poor showing in the tournament would allow her to gain the focus she needed to regroup, or if she would continue down a similar path that led to isolation and failure. But I made a note to send her a missive, to offer my own olive branch. I would not and could not offer her a place in Four Element Sect, except as possible a servant. But perhaps I could give her a place as a Steward for one of the towns I would gain when I was promoted to Baroness.
Braun was another matter; I didn't feel guilt so much as appreciation. My path would have been mediocre at best if I hadn't proclaimed his guilt. That incident had brought me to Elder Shadows' attention. The attack by his people on my first day in the Sect had cemented Elder Tye's intent to mold me into an alchemist. Braun's attack in the forest had set in motion Nero's actions. He had been the whipping post behind my frenzied desperation to improve.
I owed Braun for serving as motivation if nothing else. It was his obsession that had guaranteed my success. In every future that the tribulation showed me where I had not spoken out, Braun had prospered. His faction had expanded until Elder An became Patriarch and Flowing Water Sect faded into obscurity.
It wouldn't happen immediately. The Sect had deep roots and a strong foundation, but as centuries passed, and the corruption became more pervasive, eventually membership would decline, and fewer students would accept offers of membership. The day Elder Cix abandoned his library was the day that served as the true death knoll for the Sect.
I had never felt a sense of guilt about Braun; I had always felt he would get what he deserved. Karma not only existed; it was a potent cultivation technique. Because Karma existed, there were ramifications that cultivators should consider when it came to their actions. I hadn't touched on Karma myself; it wasn't the path I was walking, but for those entire Sects that followed cultivations technique that delved into the Karmic threads of fate, its practice could be warning, weapon, and defense.
This stage of Heaven's tribulation strengthened my soul ocean, helped to firm up the foundation that the [Dao of Movement] I was embracing was built upon. That small island of land in the center of that vast ocean represented the foundation I had created. It was an astral projection of my progress and would grow as I grew.
There was none of the emotional release, the catharsis that freeing myself from the past had given me when I embraced the waters and land that existed in the now. There hadn't really been a need. I was stepping into the Qi Gathering Realm years earlier than any of the other members that had joined the Flowing Water Sect with me. For most, it would be a decade before they made the attempt.
I knew that I wasn't special. I had identified those forces that had guided my path. Niake, Braun, Nero, Elder An, Elder Cix, Elder Tye, and Elder Shadow. They had each donated something to making me the person I was.
I'm not sure how the Heaven's gauged a person had satisfied the conditions to pass each stage, but whatever metric was used, the barrage of lightning intensified. Storm was screaming her fury as she was facing her own tribulation, learning to better control her element. She was evolving with me, and as the tribulation moved into the next and final stage, her flight across the firmament of my soul world was a reminder that I faced my future for both of us.
This next phase would be the final reckoning. I had been freed from my past, accepted my present, the only thing left to face was my future. And because of my unique circumstance, the myriad of lives I could potentially live, my future was not confined to this world or this life.