Location: Ba'al's Stronghold

Weeks turned to months, one after the other, until nearly a half year had passed. Rina's servants had happily returned to their duties, leaving Rina wondering how she ever could've thought of trying to manage without them. Her weak grasp of Ba'al's language—the Goa'uld language—had turned to mastery. She'd even begun teaching him some Earth phrases and mannerisms in return. And all the while, her concerns faded into the background till they felt like nothing but a vaguely troubling apparition. She became fully accustomed to the lavish lifestyle.

The only thing she remained unaccustomed to—even as she felt increasingly at ease in his presence—was Ba'al's lingering looks and touches, how they so often left her wanting to curl in on herself out of discomfort yet at the same time left her wanting more.

She reminded herself that under Apophis' control, the concept of neutral—let alone comforting human contact—had been utterly denied her, so it was natural for her to desire it now, even if it came from someone she wasn't perhaps entirely comfortable with.

But the way he would sometimes look at her...with thinly veiled desire or with a gaze that somehow pierced right through her...it made her cheeks warm and her stomach swoop as though she'd just dipped down the side of a steep hill.

And the thoughts that sometimes accompanied those feelings...well, it was confusing, to say the least. And as much as Rina tried to convince herself that there was nothing behind it, she couldn't deny the growing curiosity inside her.

Some things should be left alone, she thought.

Then again, she could very well be a doomed woman on borrowed time. Why not indulge?

Rina pushed the thought away, lifting her gaze from her meal to the figure sitting across the laden table from her.

Dining with Ba'al had become a regular occasion only shortly after his initial invitation, though given his tendency to seemingly see right through her, there'd been many times—such as now—that she was glad the table was lengthy enough to disguise the unspoken thoughts that sometimes showed in her face.

Searching for something to distract herself, Rina latched onto the first thing that came to mind.

"I haven't seen Shayla in a while," she remarked.

"I had some matters of importance that needed tending to. I sent her in my stead." Ba'al took a brief pause as Rina nodded and returned her focus to her meal. "Though I suspect I may have to join her soon."

Marina's focus snapped back toward Ba'al, her face plainly displaying her mingled surprise and disappointment.

"You're leaving again?"

"For a few days."

Rina practically deflated in her seat.

"It'll be boring without you..."

As always.

Ba'al gave a self-satisfied smile.

"Then you'll have something to look forward to upon my return."

"Well, can't I come with you? You'll remember I was rather rudely made aware of entire systems of inhabited worlds beyond my own, so I'd at least like to see, well, more of them."

"I cannot guarantee your safety," Ba'al reminded her, "If I bring you with me and the other system lords learn of your existence because of it, it may invite their combined might against me. I would not be able to protect you."

"Right..." Rina gave in, her disappointment compounding.

She could already feel that familiar sense of emptiness that Ba'al's absence always created starting to creep in. She forced herself to take a deep breath just as Ba'al rose from his chair and crossed to her side. A split second urge to reach out for him flickered through the nerves in her arms. Rina blinked in surprise but remained unmoving, only lifting her head to meet Ba'al's steady gaze.

"I get it," she said, breaking the silence, "You need to go do whatever it is a god does and I need to stay...here."

She did nothing to hide the bleak resignation in her voice as she uttered those last words, her eyes shifting back to the plate in front of her. Then a gentle hand caught her chin, guiding her focus back to its owner.

"One day, I promise, you'll go wherever you wish," he vowed.

Rina thought of home, discomfort creeping into the pit of her stomach. There'd been no word as of yet from the spies Ba'al had placed among Apophis' ranks, no indication of even the slightest progress.

The whole situation made Rina uneasy, so she tucked the thought away.

"Just don't forget to say goodbye this time," she said, feeling a heightened awareness of where his skin still met hers.

Ba'al's smile grew as he leaned over her, placing himself nearly at eye level with Rina, so close that she could feel his breath as he spoke.

"And how might you prefer that goodbye be offered?"

Unthinkingly, Rina leaned toward him, bringing them even closer.

"With words, probably," she answered, the slightest hint of teasing in her voice.

For a heartbeat, the subtle desire in Ba'al's dark eyes burned with sudden intensity, causing Rina's breath to catch in her throat. Then he seemed to regain control of himself, pulling away. Rina again felt the impulse to reach for him, to keep him close. Again, she made no move.

"Of course," Ba'al said, "I'll come see you before I depart."

"Well, good. Maybe I can see you off."

Ba'al chuckled softly. Rina quirked an eyebrow at him.

"What?"

"You wish yours to be the last face I see before I go," Ba'al said, tipping his head to one side with almost chiding expression, "Do you expect I'll be so quick to forget it?"

Rina sincerely hoped the warmth spilling into her face wasn't visible.

"Have I ever told you what officials on my world say when they don't want to answer questions?"

An infuriating triumph danced across Ba'al's face.

"You have not."

"Mmm. No comment," Rina said, pointedly directing her attention back to her plate.

Ba'al laughed. It was a maddeningly wonderful sound. He then returned to his seat, leaving them to finish the rest of the meal with thankfully far less awkward conversation.

Once they'd both eaten their fill and the conversation had drawn to its natural close, Ba'al rose to his feet, Rina only reluctantly following suit. Though as soon as she stood, she was forced to take a pause, a near overwhelming feeling of lightheadedness briefly taking hold of her. She leaned against the edge of the table, waiting for it to pass.

It's getting worse...

It'd started a handful of days ago. It'd been so mild that Rina had thought nothing of it. But now the dizzy spells were getting a tad harder to ignore.

It'll pass, she assured herself, Whatever it is, it can't be anything serious.

She still wished to avoid the sarcophagus, if she could help it. So she'd said nothing to Ba'al or anyone else. Only, it was getting harder to keep playing it off.

"Rina?"

She heard the question in Ba'al's voice. She silently cursed.

"I'm fine. Just thinking."

"Is there nothing else you wish to say to me?"

Yet again, Rina was reminded how much she hated the way he seemed to see right through her. She forced herself to look him dead in the eye.

"No," she said before quickly changing the subject, "I'll see you later."

Then she turned on her heel, making her escape. Though not before Ba'al answered:

"I look forward to it."

It was mere hours before he appeared outside her room, dressed in heavy robes and surrounded by a handful of Jaffa. As soon as Rina spotted his armored companions, she dropped into a low curtsy, sparking a gleam of pride in Ba'al's eyes.

While she'd never agreed with his ploy, Marina had no intention of upsetting the the status quo. So if that meant putting on a bit of show every now and again to keep people thinking Ba'al was truly some divine figure deserving of reverence, she had no issue with that. Especially given how the looks he would flash her in those moments would invariably send her heart skipping.

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Rina followed Ba'al and his procession of guards out of the stronghold to where the gate stood, pausing a stone's throw from the threshold and silently chewing her lip. More than anything, she wanted to ask him to stay, or else reconsider not allowing her to come along. Surely there were some precautions that could be taken to prevent her existence—the existence of the weapon—from becoming common knowledge?

He has important shit to do, she chided herself, Don't make yourself a nuisance.

For the third time that day, the instinct to reach for him wormed its way through Rina. She smacked it down angrily. She wouldn't be seeing him for days. The last thing she needed was to feed her own confused feelings for him.

Ba'al reached for her instead, cupping her face in his hands as he often did, his thumbs gently tracing the rise of her cheekbones. Marina silently relished his touch, feeling a stab of disappointment when he withdrew.

"Just a few days, right?" she queried.

Ba'al affirmed with a smile, the gate lighting up beside them. Then he stepped through it and was gone.

Rina stayed where she was even after the gate deactivated, staring at the ring-like structure before finally dragging herself away. She decided to take her daily walk, though it admittedly hadn't remained 'daily' as of recent times.

Probably why I'm feeling lightheaded. It's just about the only exercise I get.

Though the excursion proved unreasonably tiring, leaving her hankering for a nap, which unfortunately seemed to help very little. By the following day, Rina discarded the idea of daily outings. Her lethargy quickly worsened, as did her dizziness. She started sleeping for long hours during the day, leaving her waking hours dedicated to worried frustration.

"If my lady is not well," one of the servants suggested meekly after a few days had passed, "Perhaps she should—"

"I'm not using the damn sarcophagus!" Rina snapped.

At the stricken look on the servant's face, Rina muttered an apology and dismissed her.

This is getting ridiculous, she thought, Could I be sick with something? But who would I have caught it from? She ground her knuckles into her forehead. I wish Ba'al were here...

On the fourth day, Rina awoke with a dull ache in her back, the room spinning violently for nearly a full minute after she attempted to stand.

This has happened before, she realized, sending a cold shock like ice flooding through her veins, Back when Apophis had me...the dizziness, the backaches...it was all the same. Only it was worse back then. I'd thought it was due to stress...but what if it wasn't?

The weapon. It was growing inside her. What if her initial fears had been correct? What if it was feeding off her somehow? Breaking her down? Rina swallowed hard. No, that couldn't be it. She was just wildly jumping to the worst imaginable scenario again.

I wish Ba'al were here...how many days is 'a few days' anyway?!

Day five dragged by. Then day six and seven. The backache worsened, and once it reached the point where it began interfering with her sleep, Rina had had enough.

To hell with it, she thought, clambering out of her bed.

It was dark and silent as the grave. Just about the last thing Marina wanted to do in that scenario was lie down in a damn tomb and let it close over her head, but things had gone too far for her to keep hoping her symptoms would just miraculously vanish on their own. As she straightened up, the floor bucked beneath her feet, sending her grabbing blindly for something to steady herself. She gripped a fistful of the canopy hanging over her bed, feeling herself start to tip. Then an unmistakable ripping sound filled her ears and she crashed to the floor, her vision going blacker than the night.

There's no pain, was the first thought that struck Rina when she awoke, Anywhere, at all...

She opened her eyes. It was daytime. The sight of the sarcophagus cradling her form for once didn't send a jolt of alarm racing through her. She sat up, almost instinctively bracing herself for a waving of dizziness. But none came. She breathed a sigh of relieved gratitude.

"I heard you gave your servants quite a fright."

Rina couldn't believe her ears, much less her eyes when she turned her head to find Ba'al standing there. He was wearing the very same double-clasped tailcoat he'd worn when Rina had first seen him, and it gave her a strong sense of déjà vu.

"You're back," she breathed.

Half of her wanted to grin. The other half wanted to cry. She did neither.

Ba'al approached the sarcophagus, lowering himself to one knee.

"You were discovered unconscious. After failing to wake you, your servants brought you here," he explained.

Rina furrowed her eyebrows, shaking her head slightly.

"The weapon," she murmured, "It did something...and this isn't the first time."

Ba'al considered her a moment.

"This is most likely part of the maturation process," he concluded, "The weapon could have drained its internal power supply, which in turn caused it to drain your energy. The sarcophagus must reset the process."

Rina blinked. She knew he was only guessing. But it made perfect sense.

So as long as I use the sarcophagus every four or five months, I'll be fine.

Her relief grew.

"Good," she said aloud, "I can handle that."

There was a pause.

"I have good news," Ba'al said suddenly.

Rina watched him expectantly.

"One of my spies has discovered in Apophis' possession a list of worlds that had been formerly lost, a list he apparently utilized when searching for a host for the weapon. Now with the information you've already given me, I should be able to determine which among those worlds might be your home."

So this was it...the moment Rina had once looked forward to with hope.

Yet now it held not the slightest shred of appeal for her.

She wet her lips, hesitating. Was it fair for her to throw this back in Ba'al's face after all he'd done to obtain this information? Was it okay to discard this singular chance?

Chance at what? To go back to my hellish life? I don't care anymore. About any of it. I'm tired of second-guessing and settling for less than what I actually want. And what I want is...it's...

"I don't want to go home."

Her voice was hardly above a whisper. But she knew Ba'al heard it. She could tell by the look in his eyes that he was entirely unsurprised.

This was exactly what he'd wanted. But Rina didn't care. Whatever lies he'd spun, however vulnerable she'd made herself, she didn't care.

She leaned forward just as he did, repeating the words almost mindlessly, "I don't want to go home..."

Then they were mere inches apart, the world going still for a heartbeat as his breath touched her skin, sending heat flooding through Rina's body. And then their lips smashed together, Ba'al's fingers tangling in her hair and keeping her pressed tight against him. His fierce desire made it feel like he'd waited a thousand years to kiss her rather than only six months. Rina felt suffocated, overwhelmed, yet completely enthralled. As the taste of him filled her mouth, she clawed at his shoulders, trying to pull him even closer. She needed more of him, needed to lose herself entirely in him, to consume him and be consumed by him. Her scrabbling fingers found their way to the clasps on his coat, frantically working to undo them. Ba'al disentangled his own fingers from Rina's hair, gripping her by the waist and lifting her easily. The sudden motion broke their kiss and Marina gasped for air, her legs instinctively wrapping around Ba'al as he stepped into the sarcophagus. Then he was kneeling again, tipping Marina back until her head nearly brushed the base of the sarcophagus. She gripped the sides, feeling unsteady. Her dress pulled tight against her chest as Ba'al clenched the back firmly in both hands. Then she heard the material rip, felt it yank away from her, leaving her half exposed. There was the briefest pause as Ba'al's gaze raked over her. Rina's legs unconsciously squeezed him tighter. Then Ba'al dipped his head down, his lips caressing her bare skin. Rina closed her eyes and sank deeper into bliss.

The sound of their breathing was the only thing to be heard. It was a tad out of sync and slightly amplified by the partly closed space within which Rina and Ba'al lay entangled, yet Rina found it strangely soothing. She listened, her eyes closed, her focus on the body pressed against hers, on the hand roaming down her back. As it traced the unseen wound Apophis had repeatedly inflicted, Rina didn't flinch, didn't panic, only sucked in a sharp breath. Despite how her skin prickled at the touch, it felt somehow...nice. The hand stilled, lingering on that spot. Rina opened her eyes, meeting Ba'al's gaze. For a moment, they stayed that way, entirely absorbed in their unspoken connection. Then Rina voiced the question dancing at the forefront of her mind.

"If the weapon ever...'erases' me...if one day, I'm just suddenly gone...would you miss me?"

The corner of Ba'al's mouth tipped up in his characteristic smirk.

"Of course."

Rina narrowed her eyes at him.

"Liar."

Ba'al laughed. Marina inched her face closer to his, tightening her arms around him.

"It doesn't matter," she murmured, "I don't want anyone else having this weapon. Just you. Promise me. Promise me you'll never let the others so much as lay their fucking eyes on me. Promise."

Ba'al's smile grew.

"You have my word," he vowed, crashing his lips onto hers.

Location: SGC Interview Room

Year: 1998

Rina stared at the contraption resting by her elbow on the cool, grey tabletop, half wishing the weapon inside her would grant her heat vision or some such so she could melt it into oblivion. Hutchison assumed the seat across from her as the needles of the polygraph began scratching away, unhurriedly laying out his notebook in front of him.

"Are you familiar with how a lie detector test works, Miss Karssen?" he asked.

"Yes."

"All right then, let's just get started, shall we? So what's your name?"

"Marina Karssen."

"Where did you spend your last week on Earth?"

"Here. Here at the SGC."

"And when did you arrive at Stargate Command?"

"About a month ago."

There was a brief pause. The needles just kept softly scratching away.

"So after the time you've spent here, do you feel you'd be a good addition to Stargate Command?"

Shit.

She couldn't hesitate. It would give her away.

Let's just hope I'm convincing enough to fool this damn machine.

She looked Hutchison straight in the eye, offering a steady: "Yes."

Instantly, the needles began wildly jerking back and forth across the paper feeding through the polygraph. Rina silently cursed, letting out an agitated sigh as her fingers kneaded half-circles across her forehead. Hutchison shifted in his chair. There was a long silence.

He's enjoying this, isn't he? Rina thought angrily.

"Miss Karssen," the psychologist said, Rina reluctantly forcing herself to meet his gaze once more, "I want you to realize there are no right or wrong answers for these tests. You've been very defensive, tried to close yourself off, ever since you first opened your door for me. Understandable, for someone who's been through what you have." Marina's jaw clenched as her anger simmered hotly. "I'm not here to judge you," Hutchison continued.

Yes. You. ARE.

"I just want to understand...why do you want to join an SG team?"

Rina's gaze flickered toward the polygraph, then back to Hutchison. She could feel her chance slipping through her fingers.

If I can't find my way back to Ba'al, or to a sarcophagus or SOMETHING, I might not last more than a few months... Rina swallowed. But I can't lie.

So her only option was to tell the truth.

She stared at the tabletop, running over the words in her mind, unbottling the emotions that came with it. Then she took a deep breath.

"I'm..."

Her voice quavered slightly. She kept her gaze fixed on the tabletop.

"I'm tired of being a victim. I want something I can live for...something I choose. I want to—"

She hesitated, pressing her lips into a thin line. When she spoke again, her voice was hardly a whisper.

"—finally feel okay."

There was a notable pause. The needles on the polygraph maintained an easy pace.

"And you believe joining a team is the best way to do that?" Hutchison asked gently.

Rina locked eyes with him, unwavering in her answer.

"Yes."

Another long silence followed. Then Hutchison took up his pen, wordlessly jotted down a few notes, then closed his book.

"Thank you, Miss Karssen. I believe we're done here."

Rina blinked in surprise.

"That's it?"

"Yes, I think so," Hutchison confirmed, rising to his feet and tucking the notebook under his arm.

He paused for a second, leaning slightly toward Rina.

"You don't have to repeat anything you said here, if you'd prefer not to. I can pass along your answer to General Hammond myself when I give him my assessment."

Rina stared at him, her surprise compounding.

"Yes, thank you," she said quietly.

Hutchison nodded in acknowledgement before heading for the exit. Rina eagerly began detaching herself from the polygraph, only to pause when she noticed Hutchison had stopped by the door. She watched him expectantly, waiting for him to speak.

"I hope you find what you're looking for, Miss Karssen," he said.

Does that mean...?

"Thank you," Rina said again.

Then Hutchison was gone, softly swinging the door shut behind him. Rina finished freeing herself from the polygraph, silently wondering as she followed him out the door if her chance was still within reach.

Somehow, despite her usual pessimism, she had a feeling it was.