Location: SGC Level 21
POV: Daniel Jackson
Daniel stepped through the stargate into the SGC, Hammond's greeting sounding through the intercom.
"Welcome back, SG-1," he said, "I trust the mission went well?"
"Excellent, sir," Carter answered with a broad smile, "If all goes well, we may even be able to set up a consistent line of trade with the natives."
"I look forward to hearing all about it," Hammond said.
"Yes, sir," Carter beamed, making her way down the ramp.
"Off to routine checkup," Jack muttered to himself, brushing past Daniel.
Daniel glanced back at Teal'c. This had been their first mission since his recovery. And, amazingly, he seemed good as new.
Everything felt like it was back to normal.
Obviously, a few changes had been made, such as the new palm scanner in the control room, designed to prevent unauthorized personnel from opening or closing the iris. It was hoped that the added precaution would make any future foothold situations or attempted takeovers of the SGC highly difficult or else downright impossible.
Doubtless, they'd find out eventually whether or not it served its purpose.
Daniel stepped onto the lift with the rest of his team, listening to Carter excitedly elaborating on the possibilities that would be gained from the technology of their new trading partners while Jack repeatedly asked her simplify her scientific jargon. The two of them were still going back and forth by the time they all filed off the elevator onto Level 21, making their way leisurely down to the infirmary. It proved distracting enough that Daniel almost entirely overlooked Marina's presence. But once he caught sight of her, she had his full attention.
Since the attack from Apophis, Marina had been granted far more freedom, her mandatory escort having been removed and a number of requested frivolities having been supplied. Yet rather than enjoying that newfound freedom, she was instead standing across from the one place she'd been avoiding since the day she arrived at the SGC, her constant fidgeting clearly indicating her discomfort.
"Marina," Daniel called.
Her gaze snapped toward him, and for a split second she looked like a deer caught in headlights.
"I was—" Her eyes darted from SG-1 to the infirmary entrance and then back again. "I was just leaving."
Without another word, she slipped past Daniel and the others, half running for the elevator.
"That was weird," Carter said.
"Yeah, it was..."
Location: SGC Briefing Room
Daniel couldn't help but notice how distracted General Hammond seemed during the briefing. And judging by the subtle looks passing between the rest of SG-1, they'd doubtless noticed as well, though it wasn't until the briefing was concluded and they were awaiting his dismissal that one of them finally chanced drawing attention to the fact.
"Something on your mind, sir?" Jack queried.
The distant look in Hammond's eye vanished, though the presence of whatever was weighing on him clearly remained. He sighed, leaning forward in his chair.
"I suppose I may as well tell you. Ever since Colonel Maybourne's last visit here, he's been trying his damnedest to get the President to change his mind about releasing Miss Karssen into the custody of the N.I.D., and it seems the incident with Apophis has only given him additional fuel for his cause. I worry if I can't confirm Miss Karssen's citizenship any time soon, I won't be able to protect her any longer."
A somber silence settled over the group.
"That asshole," Jack muttered to himself.
It was a sentiment Daniel felt inclined to share. Maybourne was truly the lowest of the low.
"That's...not all," Hammond added suddenly, "Miss Karssen has made a request. I wasn't sure at first if she'd truly considered it seriously, but it seems she has, so I've had no choice but to do the same. Though I believe it's only fair that the four of you should know, regardless of what may or may not come of it."
There was a pause. The room was rife with anticipation.
"What is it, sir?" Carter pressed, breaking the silence.
Hammond folded his hands on the table in front of him.
"Miss Karssen has requested to join SG-1."
A stunned quiet followed.
"What?" Daniel said.
"I've made some conditions, of course. She has to agree to undergo basic testing, combat training, all the regular steps. And the four of you would have to agree to it."
"Is this 'cause of what I told her about being part of the team?" Jack asked, "Because that wasn't even really official. And it was temporary."
"I would've thought the incident with Apophis would've traumatized her even more than she already was," Carter said in confusion, "Why would she want to join an SG team after that?"
"Your guess is good as mine," Hammond replied, "When I asked, she couldn't give me an answer. So I told her to take some time to think about it and get back to me when she can. Now I'm giving you the same advice."
"Oh, well, as long as she meets the conditions, I don't mind," Carter replied readily.
"So long as she understands what she's signing on for, I can't say I do either," Daniel added.
"I agree," Teal'c said.
All eyes fell on Jack. He remained silent.
"Like I said, take some time," Hammond reiterated, rising from his seat, "In these circumstances, things could change at a moment's notice, so I'm in no rush to hear an answer from you. Just...think about it. Dismissed."
Location: SGC Guest Quarters
POV: Marina Karssen
Things had to change.
The realization hadn't truly struck Rina until some time after the attack from Apophis. Once the books, posters, and other such trifles she'd requested had started rolling in, it had fully sunk in.
She'd known since the moment she'd set foot in the SGC that this couldn't last, that eventually the weapon would run its usual course. And now, with the question of her citizenship still up in the air, she wondered how long it would take that weasel Maybourne to come crawling back to collect her.
Only things were different now. After all, she had gained the trust of the SGC. So if matters were to change, now was the time.
She'd already taken the first step. She had tested the limits of Hammond's generosity. Now she just had to wait and see if he granted her request.
There was only one drawback. She had to submit to testing.
She'd thought at first it would be relatively easy. After all, she had faced down her worst fear and pulled through. But once she'd reached the door to the infirmary, she had frozen to the spot.
There were too many unknowns, too many risks. What if the tests triggered some sort of negative reaction from the weapon? What if her panic attacks returned? What if something came to light that changed everything—for her, for the SGC?
Daniel's words sprang to her mind.
"Are you just afraid of being proven right?"
Yes. I'm fucking terrified. I keep imagining the worst and there's NOTHING I can do about it. I can't stop whatever's coming. I'm just forced to wait until my own body's turned against me...
She drew a shuddering breath, trying to turn her focus to something—anything else. Her gaze fell on the clock. It read 12:45. Rina got to her feet, exiting the room and heading for the mess hall. She wasn't hungry, but she didn't care. She just needed a distraction.
That distraction didn't work out quite as well as she'd hoped, however. Almost immediately upon entering the cafeteria, she spotted Teal'c and Carter at one of the tables, the sight stopping her dead in her tracks.
If they saw her, they'd inevitably bring up their brief but painfully awkward encounter in front of the infirmary. Rina glanced back the way she'd come, contemplating returning to her room. It seemed the easier option at that moment.
I can always bury my nose back in a book for a while.
And hopefully, her mind wouldn't drag her right back to the subject she was avoiding.
She turned on her heel, doubling back. But she didn't get far.
"Marina."
Rina halted, silently cursing her luck. Slapping on a passive expression, she turned to face Daniel.
"Hey. I was actually just—"
"Leaving?" Daniel finished.
Rina pressed her lips together.
"Yep."
She slowly turned again, hoping he would leave it at that.
"You know, if you want to be part of the team, you have to be willing to talk to us."
Rina froze, feeling completely taken off guard.
"Hammond told you?" she asked, facing Daniel once more.
"Well, yes, of course."
Rina was stunned. She hadn't prepared for this, at least not yet.
"I just...I didn't think he'd tell you so soon."
Daniel considered her a moment, then held out his hand in welcome.
"Come on," he said.
After an uncertain pause, Marina relented, falling in next to Daniel as he moved toward the assortment of food.
"By the way," she said, "You can call me Rina."
Daniel nodded. "Okay."
Rina hesitated briefly before adding, "Out of curiosity, what was your response when Hammond told you?"
Daniel shrugged, picking up two trays and handing one to Marina.
"I'm fine with it, assuming you know what you're getting yourself into."
Rina narrowed her eyes fractionally. "And what am I getting myself into?"
Daniel starting throwing together a collection of edibles for himself, Rina distractedly following suit.
"Well, let's just say our missions vary considerably. One day, we could be sorting through forgotten artifacts; the next, we could be fighting for the fate of an entire planet."
Rina topped off her tray with a glass of jello, following Daniel closely as he moved to join Carter and Teal'c.
"How often do you run into Goa'uld?" she queried.
"Oh, um..."
"Hey, Daniel," Carter greeted, adding in surprise, "Oh, Marina!"
"Carter, help me out here," Daniel interjected, "How often do we encounter Goa'uld?"
Teal'c answered first, "Quite frequently."
"How much of their technology do you have?" Rina pressed, "I mean, you have Zats, but have you ever managed to get your hands on a communication device or maybe a sarcophagus?"
Teal'c's eyes centered sharply on her, a look of knowing within. Marina hoped she hadn't showed her hand too much by asking about the sarcophagus.
"Unfortunately, no," Carter replied.
Rina felt the sting of disappointment, her worries renewed. But she couldn't let it show.
"Well, anyway," she said casually, leaning back in her chair and taking a bite of food from her tray, "You have the undivided attention of a system lord. I'm sure you'll all be seeing plenty of the Goa'uld in future." She made a calculated pause. "It is just the one system lord you've managed to piss off, right?"
"Well, so long as Ba'al doesn't figure out it was us who took you and not Apophis, then yes," Daniel answered.
God, I hope he does...
If he were even alive, that is.
If he's dead...
Rina pushed the thought away.
"By the way," Carter began, "Have you thought about what you'll tell Hammond? About why you want to join the team?"
"Oh, yes. I'm still trying to put it into words." She gave an awkward laugh, changing the subject quickly. "What did O'Niell have to say? I know we didn't start off on the best foot..."
Carter and Daniel exchanged a look. Rina's stomach churned with anxiety.
"He didn't really say anything," Carter admitted, pausing to glance over her shoulder, "Honestly, I thought he would have joined us by now. But maybe you can ask him next time you see him. Either way, I'm sure we'll hear about it when he's ready."
"Right," Rina said quietly, looking down at her tray.
If she wasn't hungry before, she certainly wasn't now.
"Anyway, I've got a project I'd like to get back to," Carter said, picking up her now empty tray and rising from her seat, "See you guys later."
Daniel gave a small wave of farewell, Teal'c only nodding in silence.
"I think I'll get back to my room," Rina said, "I'm not super hungry anyway."
"May I accompany you?" Teal'c asked suddenly, rising to his feet.
Rina blinked. "Sure."
They headed for the exit in silence, Marina uneasily awaiting whatever Teal'c had to say. Once they entered the hall, he finally spoke, his voice lowered in secrecy.
"You have need of a sarcophagus."
Rina's heart started beating a little faster.
"Not now," she whispered.
Teal'c cut in front of her, his expression dead serious.
"How long do you have?"
Rina halted, her brow furrowing.
"Maybe five months..."
"Then we have time. You must tell Hammond of your need."
"No," Rina whispered sharply, "You can't tell him. You can't tell anyone."
I'll never be allowed to join any team if people here figure out that I can't even risk learning to use the weapon effectively. I need to make them think I'm exactly the asset they're hoping I am.
Teal'c seemed displeased with her decision but relented nonetheless.
"Very well. I will speak of it to no one."
Rina breathed a sigh of relief.
"Thank you."
Teal'c inclined his head, striding away down the hall. Rina stayed where she was.
Perhaps it was due to the reminder that she was on borrowed time, but the need to fulfill Hammond's conditions suddenly felt all the more pressing.
To hell with it.
She made straight for the nearest lift. It was time for one more visit to the infirmary.
Location: SGC Infirmary
She walked straight into the room, not even allowing herself the chance to hesitate. Her eyes locked onto Dr. Fraiser instantly, entirely disregarding her current patients. Fraiser lifted her gaze from the clipboard she'd just been looking at, a light of surprise in her dark eyes.
"Tests," Rina blurted, "I need tests done."
This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.
Fraiser stared.
"Okay," she said slowly, "I'm just giving SG-4 their regular checkup but I can get to you in a few minutes if you—"
"No, it has to be now, before I change my mind," Marina impressed upon her.
Fraiser glanced back at her patients, one of her assistants promptly raising their hand.
"It's all right, Doctor. We've done this a thousand times," they insisted, "We've got it covered."
Fraiser hesitated a moment longer. Marina could feel her doubts trying to creep back in.
"All right," Fraiser said slowly, Rina resisting the urge to sigh in relief, "Let's step into the next room. It's quieter there."
Rina complied, following Fraiser to a room with just a single bed near the center. Fraiser gestured for her to make herself comfortable, Rina seating herself upon the edge of the bed.
"Hey, if you're going to take blood," she said quickly, "Just don't show me the needle, okay? I don't want to see it."
"Understood," Fraiser answered, though her tone was light, "You might want to turn away then."
Rina quickly threw her legs over the other side of the bed, adjusting her position so her back was facing Fraiser.
"And don't give me a countdown either. If you're going to jab me, just do it."
"Okay."
There was a stretch of silence. Rina fought the urge to turn her head to see what Fraiser was doing.
"Can you give me your arm?"
Rina grudgingly extended one arm, turning her head away as she caught Fraiser in her peripheral vision. Fraiser tied something around her arm. Rina tried to force herself to relax but each attempt achieved the opposite.
Then the needle went in.
Rina bit the inside of her cheek, dragging air deeply into her lungs.
Just stay still. It'll be over in seconds.
But time seemed to drag. She focused on a spot on the wall.
Get it out of me. Get it out.
She bit down harder on her cheek. The taste of blood filled her mouth. She gritted her teeth. The thought replaying in her head suddenly became words.
"Get it out," Rina hissed.
Fraiser instantly withdrew the needle.
"Okay," she said, untying Rina's arm, "Okay, it's done."
Rina exhaled shakily, somehow still feeling the prick of the needle.
"I never used to have a problem with needles," she muttered.
"That's actually not so uncommon as you might think," Fraiser said.
Rina gave a dry laugh.
"I think the reason in my case is a little uncommon," she said, an unintended edge to her voice.
Fraiser said nothing, quietly placing a bandaid on Rina's arm. Marina ran her fingers over it, finding the sensation strangely comforting.
"All right, if you'll follow me again," Fraiser prompted, moving toward the exit, "I'd like to take some scans."
So you can get a look at what's inside me.
Rina pushed off the bed, wordlessly suppressing whatever grotesque imaginings sprang to mind regarding what those scans might find.
Let's just get this over with.
Location: SGC Gymnasium
POV: Daniel Jackson
Daniel crossed the gym slowly, watching Jack relentlessly pounding the punching bag.
"So this is where you're hiding," he sighed, "I think I just spent thirty minutes looking for you."
"I'm not hiding," Jack said, briefly halting his onslaught on the bag, "I'm just...thinking."
"Really? Because it looks like you're punching that bag."
"Yeah, well, I'm thinking and punching."
Jack took a few more swings. Daniel sighed again.
"Jack, why don't you want Rina on the team?"
Jack paused again, eyebrows raised.
"Rina?"
"Yes, apparently we're on a nickname basis now."
"Good for you," Jack said, his tone very nearly sounding sincere.
"Just answer the question," Daniel pressed, his patience wearing thin.
It was Jack's turn to sigh.
"I don't not want her on the team," he confessed, "I just...we barely know her."
"Jack, she saved the lives of probably countless SGC personnel, ourselves included, I think that tells us everything we need to know," Daniel insisted.
"I know," Jack admitted, "But you heard Carter. Karssen escaped getting dragged back to whatever hellhole Apophis had ready for her by the skin of her teeth. After that...why would she want to join the team? And her saving our asses doesn't change the fact that we're missing a lot. She's barely said a word about what happened after the first time Apophis got his hands on her, she hasn't even mentioned the other Goa'uld—"
"Ba'al," Daniel offered.
"Yeah, whatever. The point is, at the end of the day, there hasn't been a lot to suggest that she really trusts us. And as long as she doesn't trust us...does it even make sense for us to trust her?"
Daniel dropped his gaze, brows furrowing.
He's not wrong, but...
"Well...you'll never have the answer to that if you don't give her the chance," Daniel said slowly, his eyes meeting Jack's once more.
The only response was thoughtful silence.
Location: SGC Guest Quarters
POV: Marina Karssen
Rina stared at the open Star Wars novel in her hands, her eyes skimming repeatedly over the same sentence without comprehending it. She silently chewed the inside of her cheek.
Dr. Fraiser had agreed to let her know the second the full test results came in.
Within 24 hours, she said, Rina recalled, glancing at the clock.
It felt as though it'd already been twice as long.
She's probably just overly busy.
Marina dragged her gaze back to her book, skimming over the same sentence a few more times. She sighed, glancing across at the door to her room and hoping for a knock.
None came.
Maybe she just needs a reminder.
She got up, pausing to dog-ear her place in the novel before gently tossing the book onto her bed and heading for the door.
The trip to Level 21 passed in nearly the blink of an eye, Fraiser greeting Marina with evident surprise.
"Marina? Was there something else you needed?"
"The test results," Rina pressed.
Fraiser stared.
"Marina, it's been three hours."
"Yes, but—"
"Marina, look," Fraiser interrupted, lightly squeezing Rina's shoulders in a comforting gesture, "I know you're uneasy, but you don't have to be. I'm going to finish running your test results and let you know as soon as they're ready, just like I said. After that, we'll figure out what steps to take next. Okay?"
Rina took a breath.
"Okay," she nodded, turning slowly and making her way back to her room.
She picked up the book on her bed, flipping through to the dog-eared page. Her second attempt to read it soon proved as fruitless as the first, however. By the time she gave up again, she figured she'd probably spent more time staring at the clock than at the novel in front of her.
She went straight back to the infirmary.
Fraiser pressed her lips into a thin line.
"No, Marina, your test results haven't come in yet," she said tightly, "Now if you'll excuse me, I have some other patients to attend."
Rina trailed back to her room, moving little faster than a snail. Though it was a mere forty-five minutes later when she returned again to the infirmary, Fraiser promptly snapping at her to get out.
It was that tertiary trip back to her quarters when Rina heard her name called. Turning, she spied none other than General Hammond headed in her direction. He was moving at a brisk pace, leaving him partially breathless by the time he reached her.
"I was just on my way to see you. I wanted to bring you the good news myself," he said.
Anticipation filled Rina's chest.
"What is it?"
"My men were able to locate the whereabouts of your family," Hammond said, sending a jolt of tangled emotion flooding through Rina, "Your American citizenship has been confirmed beyond the shadow of a doubt. I aim to call the President first thing and let him know he can tell Maybourne and the N.I.D. to back the hell off."
"That's...wonderful."
Rina wished she could feel more relieved.
"Did my—" She hesitated. "Did my family say anything else about me beyond just, well, confirming my existence?"
She laughed lightly, trying to disguise her inner turmoil.
"I'm afraid I don't have all the details right now, but—"
"No, no," Rina cut him off, "It's fine, just forget about it. Thank you, General, for letting me know."
"Of course."
They both turned simultaneously, heading in opposite directions. Rina's feet dragged along the floor.
What is wrong with me?
She should've been bouncing off the damn walls in that moment. But a melancholic cloud seemed to hang over her.
After a decade, her parents had received what was most likely a jarring reminder of their black sheep daughter.
How might they have reacted?
Why the fuck should I care?
"Rina?"
Karssen whipped back around, facing the speaker.
"Daniel."
"I saw General Hammond heading this way. It looked like he was in a hurry so I thought maybe something had happened. Are you all right?"
Rina spread her hands in a dramatic gesture, though there was no real enthusiasm in her face and voice as she delivered the news.
"My citizenship has been confirmed."
Daniel's eyes widened.
"Congratulations." He paused. "I think? I'm sorry, wasn't that supposed to be a good thing?"
"It is," Rina said, trying to make her words sound a little more convincing this time, though they quickly spiralled into a rather dry delivery as she continued, "It's a wonderful, fantastic, absolutely super thing."
There was an awkward silence.
"But?" Daniel pressed.
Rina's fingers bent into claws, unthinkingly framing her skull.
"But my stupid—"
My stupid thoughts won't leave me the fuck alone.
She didn't finish the sentence aloud, instead letting silence flood back in. Without warning, she turned on her heel.
"You know, I'm just going to—"
"Please don't walk away."
Daniel's plea was drowning in weariness.
I've already worn him out.
"Do you really want to hear my sob story, Daniel?" Rina snapped, turning back, "Hell, you've already heard one of them." She made to leave again, adding over her shoulder, "Do you really need more?"
Daniel sprinted after her, falling into step beside her.
"Hang on, your citizenship was confirmed, which means they must've found your family," Jackson hastily puzzled out, "Is it something to do with them?"
Rina exhaled sharply.
"Stop."
She quickened her pace, but Daniel refused to be shaken off.
"Rina, you can't keep shutting down—"
Marina slammed to a halt, her voice rising to a shout.
"God, you're infuriating!"
The few other people occupying the hallway froze, staring wordlessly.
Rina quickly rounded on them, snapping, "Walk the fuck on!"
The handful of passerbys hastily obliged, not wanting to be dragged into whatever was unfolding.
"You want to know so badly?" Rina demanded, turning to face Daniel once more, "Tell me, did you ever have a good relationship with your parents?"
"Yes," Daniel answered quietly, dropping his gaze for a moment, "Before they died, at least."
Rina's anger instantly smouldered and died. She stared silently, her own gaze wavering as Daniel's blue eyes settled back on her. She stepped back, pinching the bridge of her nose between her thumb and index finger. She took a few breaths.
"Well," she said shakily, dropping her hand back to her side, "I never had that. My parents disowned me when I was in high school, all because I dared to admit that I like girls the same way I like guys."
She uttered a pained laugh, wishing she could go back to feeling angry.
It was so much easier for her to feel angry than to feel...this.
She blinked rapidly, hoping the tears burning in her eyes didn't show.
"They told me I was going to burn in hell, left me to scrape and claw for a living as a 17-year-old. And for some stupid fucking reason, I still give a shit about what they think of me." She laughed again, her voice breaking. "It's pathetic."
Did they ever feel regret for what they did to me? Did they even think of me at all in the ten years I was gone...?
"No." Daniel took a step toward her, cutting off her train of thought. "It's not pathetic. It's human."
Rina didn't say anything. She couldn't.
Then Daniel opened his arms, silently offering comfort. Rina hesitated, then slowly, very slowly accepted the hug. Daniel's arms wound around her, gently pulling her against him.
Marina couldn't remember the last time she'd had a genuine hug.
It's...kind of nice.
"Marina?"
The two broke apart instantly, both turning toward the speaker. There stood Dr. Fraiser, looking somewhat intrigued by the scene she'd just stumbled across.
"I have the test results ready," she explained, "If you'll come to the infirmary, we can go over them now."
"Uh, yes, coming," Rina answered brokenly.
Fraiser nodded, taking one last long look at both Daniel and Rina before striding away. Rina started to follow, then paused, turning back.
"Hey. I'm sorry about your parents."
"It's okay," Daniel insisted softly, "It happened a long time ago."
Silence stretched between them.
"I should go," Rina said, pointing in the direction Fraiser went.
"Yeah."
Location: SGC Infirmary
Hammond was already there when Rina arrived in Fraiser's wake, which she found hardly surprising. After all, getting herself tested had been one of his conditions, an occasion he'd been waiting on since the moment Rina had stepped through the stargate.
And an occasion Rina had been dreading for just as long.
Now we have the results...
As impatient as she'd been to receive them, there was still a part of her that didn't want to know what it would tell her. Bracing herself, she waited for Fraiser to speak.
"Okay, we'll start with the blood tests," Fraiser began, placing a blood slide under a nearby microscope, "Now, there was nothing of note, except for this. I discovered thousands of nanites in Marina's blood."
"Nanites?" Hammond echoed in surprise.
"Yes. They've bonded with Marina's red and white blood cells somehow and seem to be slowly multiplying. You can see if you want."
Fraiser gestured to the microscope. Hammond held up a hand in decline.
"No, thank you, doctor. Your professional conclusion will suffice for me."
Rina didn't move either. The idea of scrutinizing her own blood felt strangely morbid to her.
"Well, the nanites seem to be responsible for the impressive rate at which Marina's body can heal itself. I tried introducing some pathogens to Marina's blood and they were destroyed almost instantaneously. With these nanites, Rina wouldn't be able to get so much as a cold. And there's one other thing. I had a theory I wanted to look into, so I tried introducing an electric current to the blood. The nanites absorbed it. But when I tried again with a stronger current, the nanites broke down and dissolved."
"So they can be destroyed through overcharging," Hammond summarized.
Rina's stomach twisted.
And what the hell would that do to me?
"Yes, but theoretically, as the nanites continue to multiply, they'd be able to hold increasingly larger amounts of power."
"What else?" Hammond asked.
Fraiser returned the blood slide to where she'd retrieved it from before leading both Rina and the General toward a desk equipped with a computer monitor. She pulled up an image onscreen, stepping aside to give Rina and Hammond a clear view. Rina stared in stunned silence.
"These are the images I got from the scan," Fraiser said.
"My god," Hammond muttered.
Intricately woven into the image of Rina's spine was a slender mass spanning half the length of her spinal column, wire-thin tendrils extending from it, having wrapped themselves around the surrounding rib bones.
The weapon.
Hammond managed to compose himself, asking, "Was there anything else?"
"No, not really," Fraiser answered.
"Then if you'll excuse me," Hammond said, briskly heading for the exit, "I need to find Miss Karssen the best damn spinal surgeon I can."
Rina watched him go, too stunned to speak. She turned her gaze back to the monitor, the image therein searing itself into her mind.
Was it even worth hoping that someone could somehow remove that? And even if they could, what about the nanites?
On the other hand, if by some miracle it could be done, it would mean that—
I'd finally be free.
"You all right?" Fraiser asked softly.
Rina tore her eyes away from the monitor.
"Yeah, fine. Thanks for putting up with me, by the way."
Fraiser smiled, a twinkle of amusement in her eye.
"Believe it or not, Marina, you're far from the most difficult patient I've had to deal with," she said.
Rina smiled back.
"Good. 'Cause I thought maybe I'd driven you insane."
Fraiser laughed, "Well, I might have come close."
Stepping closer, she laid a comforting hand on Rina's arm.
"Just remember what I said, okay? We're going to figure this out." She glanced at the monitor. "One step at a time."
"Yeah," Rina said, her voice hardly a whisper, "Okay."
The days that followed were quiet. Everything felt distant and hazy in that time, as though Rina were trapped in some sort of limbo, waiting. She wasn't even really sure why she was waiting. She had time-sensitive plans in motion and couldn't afford to abandon those efforts. Yet she felt paralyzed, knowing that on the slim chance the weapon could be surgically removed, all her prior plans would become utterly pointless.
She would be free, with absolutely no clue as to what she would do with that freedom.
So the room that had functioned as her prison for weeks on end now suddenly became her retreat, the place where she became wholly trapped in her own thoughts. There was no longer any attempt at distraction or amusement, only the incessant buzz of Rina's own mind.
And until news arrived of what drastic direction her life would ultimately take, she knew this solitary state of paralysis would inevitably continue...
Location: SGC Mess Hall
POV: Daniel Jackson
"When was the last time you saw Rina?"
Carter paused halfway out of her seat, her freshly emptied lunch tray in her hands.
"Marina? A few days ago, I think."
Daniel's forehead creased.
After his last conversation with Rina, he thought he'd finally gotten through to her. But rather than seeing her become more open and sociable with the team as he had hoped, she had seemingly entirely disappeared. He couldn't help but worry over whether or not she'd been feeding herself at all; it seemed strange that she could've so consistently avoided both him and the rest of SG-1 even around mealtimes. Then again, her mealtimes had always seemed a bit erratic.
"Daniel?"
"Oh. I was just wondering. It's probably nothing."
Carter stayed where she was.
"Hey, did she ever get tested? That was one of Hammond's conditions," she recalled.
The tests.
With a jolt, Daniel remembered Fraiser coming to collect Rina after their emotionally-charged conversation in the hall.
"Yeah...yeah, she did," he answered distractedly.
And I never even asked about it...
"Well, that might have something to do with it," Carter suggested.
Definitely.
"Are you planning on talking to her?"
"Yeah, I probably should," Daniel said.
"If she tells you the test results, let me know, okay? If not, I can always ask Janet. Hopefully, it's some good news."
Would Rina really react this way if it were good news?
He couldn't answer that question. At moments like this, he had to admit Jack was right. They just didn't know Marina very well at all.
Daniel finished his lunch and promptly headed to the guest quarters, knocking quietly on the door.
"Rina?"
No answer. He tried knocking a little louder, but to no avail.
"I don't think she's in there, Dr. Jackson."
Daniel turned to face the airman who had spoken.
"I saw her walk past just twenty or thirty minutes ago," said the airman, indicating which direction with a jerk of his thumb.
"Oh. Thanks."
The airman nodded, walking on. Daniel silently wondered where Marina might have gone. Was she simply stretching her legs? Or did she have a new hideaway? He headed in the direction the airman had pointed. The nearest lift was in the opposite direction. Perhaps she'd taken the stairs? He headed for the access point, stepping through the door and immediately hesitating. It was quieter in the stairwell than in the halls, so if Rina were looking for a new hideaway, this would certainly make a good one. The only question was: up or down? He silently considered the latter, his mind bringing to focus the memory of Rina painstakingly descending these very stairs, moving step by step toward the thing that terrified her most.
Perhaps, in a strange way, it was fitting that she might have come here.
Daniel made his way down the stairs, venturing past a number of levels before at last spotting a figure seated on the steps, slumped forward with their arms resting in their lap. Daniel slowed his pace, quietly taking a seat next to Rina. She kept her eyes fixed ahead, staring at nothing in particular, her expression blank.
"Didn't think you'd find me here," she murmured, "You hear the news?"
"No," Daniel admitted, "I was hoping you would fill me in."
Rina gave a pained smile.
"Hammond dug up some world-class surgeon somewhere and sent him the results of my scan. Just got word back today. The weapon can't be removed, not without killing me, or at the very least leaving me paralyzed for the rest of my life."
Daniel could only imagine the devastation hiding behind Rina's smile. He stayed silent, unsure of what to say.
"I allowed myself the slightest glimpse of hope," Rina sighed, her mouth twisting into a near frown, "And it blew up in my face. Again."
"But it was worth it to try," Daniel insisted gently.
Rina finally dragged her gaze onto him, anger and skepticism burning in her dark eyes.
"Was it?" She turned away again, a bitter smile growing on her face. "They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. So when your luck is as bad as mine, it seems rather stupid to keep thinking things will somehow get better. Even when I try to prepare myself for the worst, it always somehow ends up worse than the 'worst' I imagined. Like when I thought the worst thing that could happen to me was my girlfriend—who was the one good thing I'd ever had my life—breaking up with me, but instead, right after she dumps my ass, I get kidnapped by an alien and turned into somebody's guinea pig. It's almost fucking funny!"
No, it's not.
But Daniel didn't dare interrupt.
POV: Marina Karssen
Rina sucked in a breath, barrelling ahead.
"So now I get to go back to my favorite pastime of wondering what the hell happens when this thing inside me finally matures." She placed a finger on her chin in mock contemplation. "Let's see, it's growing along my spine so it might eventually reach my brain and turn me into a some mindless puppet trapped in my own body for the rest of eternity. Or since it's Goa'uld tech, maybe it'll be more along the lines of what happens when a Goa'uld takes over a human host and everything that makes me me just...dies." Her voice dropped to a near whisper. "And I become a walking corpse."
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Daniel shifting in his seat, clearly contemplating whether or not to say what he was about to say.
"My wife," he began, "Was taken by Apophis as a host for his queen. But I keep hanging onto the hope that some part of her is still in there, fighting...fighting until I can find a way to bring her back."
Rina stared at him silently.
First his parents, then his wife. God, how much shit has he been through?
"Rina," Daniel said quietly, "We can't know what's going to happen with this weapon. But you can't stop fighting. Otherwise, Apophis wins."
For a moment, Rina didn't speak.
He's desperate. He doesn't realize he's just making things harder for himself.
She took a deep breath.
"I'm sorry," she said, her voice strained, "But your wife is gone. Nothing of the host survives."
Daniel dropped his gaze to the steps below.
"I'm guessing Apophis told you that."
"No."
If he'd ever bothered to speak to me in a language I could understand, I still wouldn't have believed a damn word he said. He wanted nothing but to keep me scared and pathetic.
Daniel fixed his blue eyes back on her.
"So then it was Ba'al," he deduced.
Rina quickly broke eye contact.
"You don't really talk about him at all. What happened?" Daniel asked tentatively.
Marina drew a slow breath, still refusing to look Daniel in the face.
"He was nothing like Apophis," she said quietly, "Nothing at all..."
Daniel placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, neither of them saying another word.
Suddenly, the disembodied voice of Hammond crackled through the stairwell, startling Rina.
"Relax, it's just the intercom," Daniel clarified hastily.
"Will SG-1 and Marina Karssen report to the briefing room?" Hammond's voice prompted.
Rina exchanged a glance with Daniel, quickly climbing to her feet. Her stomach churned with uneasy anticipation.
O'Niell hasn't said whether or not he's fine with me joining the team. That has to be what this is about.
And Rina had to admit that the odds of O'Niell ruling in her favor were slim to none.
I guess I'm about to find out...
Location: SGC Briefing Room
Hammond and Jack were seated comfortably at the table when Rina and Daniel arrived, Carter and Teal'c appearing shortly thereafter.
"I imagine you've probably already guessed what this is about," Hammond began once everyone had made themselves comfortable, "So I'll waste no time in getting down to it. Colonel O'Niell has just informed me of his decision regarding Miss Karssen becoming a member of SG-1."
He looked Rina dead in the eye. She felt her chest squeeze.
"In light of the news you just received," he continued, "I figured you could use some good news for a change. Colonel O'Niell has agreed to your request."
Rina stared in silent amazement. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. She looked over at Jack, his face an unreadable mask. Across the table, Daniel shot him a look as well.
Did he talk Jack into this?
"Well, now you just have three months of standard combat training to go through," Carter said teasingly, yanking Rina out of her thoughts.
"Sounds lovely," Rina said dryly.
"You'll receive a psychiatric evaluation beforehand, of course," Hammond added.
Something else to look forward to...
"But otherwise, you're well on your way to becoming a member of this team," the General finished, rising from his seat.
"Congratulations," Teal'c said, smiling at Rina.
She smiled back.
This is really happening. I've almost made it.
She almost thought she saw the corner of Jack's mouth turn up in that moment.
"Just so nobody else gets the chance to say this before me," he said, waving a hand at the rest of his team before leaning across the table toward Rina, "Welcome to SG-1."