Alton rubbed his eyes. He didn’t want to be in charge of the class meeting today but he didn’t have a choice. Their response of his mistreatment of Sybil was to force him to be perfect. Anything less than that and Irving was going to make certain that Alton would be expelled. Over a week had passed since Chickadee had been kidnapped, and he was clearly stressed because of it, but he had to remain the pinnacle of perfection.
Though it didn’t seem like anyone was paying attention to his simply ideal self. Sybil was going through her golem notes while Veximarl seemed like a corpse. His upper half was sprawled out and face down against the table. Everyone else was in different states of not giving a damn about this meeting.
“We’ve received word that Doctor Mona Saxifrage and her son will be arriving next week at the elementalist encampment. They are only here to gather information and report back to Grand Temple. They say not to expect any results immediately.
Moontear has already departed on their mission. They’re exploring… I don’t know, wolf migration or something. Hey, Vex.” Alton snapped his fingers until Veximarl looked up at him. “Philomena got a shipment of herbs that she needs help categorizing. Take Gwyn with you to Tilrey.”
Veximarl blinked a few times. “That may take some time. It can be difficult to identify dried herbs correctly.”
“Good!” Alton pointed his quill Veximarl’s way. “We’ll make a mission of it. Philomena needs assistance with some other tasks anyways. I’ll get Stonetoe to approve of you spending a few days in Tilrey as a member of their clinic.”
Gwyn partially raised her hand. “I won’t do well in a clinic.” She didn’t want to stray to far from Braytons while Anais was still recovering.
“But I would,” said Tish. “I would adore working in such a cute facility!”
Alton shook his head. “Doctor Saxifrage has requested full medical records and new physicals to be done for the elementalists. I believe it’s best for Macestar to stay at the barracks and to assist them and Lady Blu in their medical tasks. If you believe otherwise, get approval from Lady Blu.” He then looked over to Gwyn. “You may return as soon as you are done. I doubt that Philomena will ask for anything other than sorting from you.”
Veximarl raised a hand and patiently waited to be called on. He was going to object to being sent out. It seemed quite obvious to him that Alton’s mind was set on getting rid of him for a few days.
“And that concludes this week’s meeting. Our next meeting will be after Doctor Saxifrage has arrived. We’ll discuss what will be happening with the elementalists then.” Alton quickly slammed his notebook shut and exited the classroom.
Sybil looked over to the dismayed Veximarl. “I’ll go talk to him for you.” She gathered up her belongings and chased after Alton. He had made his way out of the classroom and was moving across the courtyard. “Alton? … Alton!”
He turned around with the sliest grin on his face.
“Did you seriously storm out of there just so I would follow you?”
“If I asked you to leave with me, they would’ve just claimed I was abusing you again, so I- Ow!” He had gotten his shoulder slapped. “... I wanted to spend time with you.”
Sybil let out a sigh. “You didn’t have to get rid of Vex just to hang out with me.”
Honestly, not having either Chickadee or Zaniyah around was making him distraught. If Veximarl could simply go away for a few days and let him and Sybil have the room to themselves, that would make him so happy. Lots of happiness to feel.
“... But I want to be a perv,” he muttered. “Ow!” He winced as she hit him again.
“You’re the worst!” She let out a surprised squeak as he grabbed onto her hand and began to walk again. “Where are we going?!”
“The same place I always go to hang out,” he replied.
Which was the rampart. Not that it was Alton’s favorite place in Braytons, but it was high enough where people couldn’t easily hear his conversations. It also served as a good place to play the harp and to gather his thoughts. He took a moment to look over the landscape before he smiled down at Sybil.
This was love, right? Alton studied her confused face, not saying anything right away. He was still feeling troubled about what Lydia had said. How much did she actually know? About Bellia or the other gods… Stallis was the reason why Lydia stopped searching for her father, but Alton wasn’t certain if Lydia ever stopped looking.
Alton firmly tugged Sybil’s hand and quickly clicked a key inside her bracelet. The one that Enzo had placed on her before they had left to Carapace. Sybil caught it with her free hand and immediately shook it in his face.
“Put it back!”
“Why?” He frowned as she began to panic. “I had to take mine off because it was getting in the way of my shield. It’s not fair to make you still wear yours.”
“Because it’s Fogbloom tradition to only remove them after you’ve consummated your marriage and I don’t need Duxton not believing me when I tell him that we haven’t done that!”
Alton stared at her blankly. “Our sex life is none of his business.”
“Which is why I need- Alton!”
He had snatched the bracelet from her and hurled it over the wall. “There! Freed from your shackles!”
“But that was expensive!”
“Ridiculously expensive.” He tightened his grip on her hand when she tried to run and fetch it. “Listen, I’ve been… I’ve been going through some difficult thoughts as of late, and I really need someone to confide in.”
Sybil blinked a few times. “... Alright?” She double-checked where the bracelet had landed and made a mental note to fetch it later.
Alton squeezed her hand for a moment before letting go. “I’m only half-human,” he said with a pained smile. “Lately, that’s been bothering me a lot.”
“There isn’t anything to worry about. No one thinks badly about you simply because your ancestors had sex with fish. It’s not your fault you were born.” He glared at her. “None of us believe that your heritage is your fault.”
Alton sought to get back on topic. “I’m starting to realize that I don’t know how to be human. I walk on two feet, and breathe the same air, but deep down… I worry that my mind doesn’t work the same as a human’s. Sometimes I have trouble understanding others or making friends, and I wonder if it’s because I’m different.”
“No, it’s because you’re an asshole.”
“... Sybil.”
“Being an asshole doesn’t make you less human. It doesn’t make you less siren either. An asshole is just an asshole, no matter what race they are. There isn’t anything to worry about.”
He struggled for a moment before responding. “... But what if I never learn how to love like a human?” Alton took a deep breath. “I dwell on it sometimes and then everything inside of me begins to feel tangled and broken.”
“Every single one of us is a mess. That’s just what being a teenager is about,” replied Sybil. “None of us have it easy. Not when Zaniyah is dealing with figuring out Shaw and her dad, and Chickadee being kidnapped by Tyrtain so that he can be brainwashed to murder Zaniyah in a battle of the gods…”
“And I am not trying to distract from any of that! That’s all important!”
Sybil bobbed her head. “Yes, of course, it is… But neither of us have had it easy either. Just because their problems are bigger than ours, doesn’t mean that we don’t have issues either. All we can do is be there for each other and take one step at a time to fix it together.”
“And that’s why I want to go back to Carapace,” replied Alton. “Zaniyah is only two weeks younger than me. Paladin Arbutus rarely left my father’s side. My parents must have been in Carapace when I was conceived, and for a siren to have traveled across the country… There must have been a reason to risk it.
If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.
I want to ask Lady Till for permission to return to Carapace after the next entrance exams. If Enzo is still in the city, I want to talk to him about what happened. It’s possible that my mother was there because she believed that there was a siren temple within the core. If that’s true, then it’s a place that I would wish to visit myself.”
“That sounds amazing!” Though Sybil doubted she would be allowed in the core after the stunt she pulled last winter. Suddenly she was full of dismay. Little actions, even if they save hundreds of lives, do have unforeseen repercussions. “My father still has friends at the factory. He’ll find a way to get you down there.”
“I would appreciate that.” Alton then glanced over to Lydia, who was silently watching the pair. “... I’ve also been thinking about us and what I want to do after we graduate.”
Sybil nodded. “I’ve been thinking about that a lot as well.”
“I want to travel to-” they said in unison.
“- Lyrhea,” said Alton.
“- Engine’s Folly,” said Sybil.
Alton blinked a few times. “Engine- what?”
“Engine’s Folly,” repeated Sybil. “That’s the translated name of the city. I can’t pronounce the real name. It’s a city outside of Lustro that houses several factories and research facilities concerning the production of golems. What they’ve been able to build is so much more advanced than what they have in the core.
Professor Rosethorn has been attempting to make contact with them for years. He might be able to find a translator. By the time we graduate, he might have enough financial backing to go on another exploration mission. If so, I want myself and my father to go with him.”
“That’s…” Alton placed his hands on her shoulders. “That’s great!” He was honestly excited for her.
“And the timing would be perfect because you’ll be busy in Lyrhea,” she replied happily.
Alton had lost so much when he left Fogbloom. Not only his parents but his connection with sirens. It hadn’t really bothered him until recently. Not until he started to realize that he was more different from humans than he had thought.
“It’s only to see if I could find some relatives and maybe learn a few new spells,” he muttered. “Unfortunately, Lyrhea is about as large as the Violet Region, so I don’t know how long it’s going to take or if you’d have anything to do there, but… You want to leave Lustro?”
“Only for a little while,” replied Sybil. “But it’s good, isn’t it?”
“It’s great,” Alton repeated.
“Then… What about us?”
Hearing her ask about their status as a couple, even acknowledging that they might still be one past graduation… It lifted a great weight off his shoulders. “No matter what happens, or however you end up feeling about us, know that I’m always going to be waiting for you. I will always be able to find you if you ever go out looking for me.”
Sybil wrapped her arms about his shoulders and gave him a tight squeeze. “Thank you so much.” He didn’t understand why she was thanking him. “It’s refreshing to be able to talk about the future and not have it set in stone. I like being flexible.”
“Hey!” Duxton called out to the pair. He waved when they looked down at him. “Training!” Both he and Rosethorn had halberds resting on their shoulders. Shaw was armed with a practice sword.
Alton frowned. “You should skip lessons and come work with me today,” he muttered.
“Aren’t you helping Lady Till sort through applications all day?” Sybil shook her head as Alton nodded sadly. “... I rather stab Duxton several times over. Thank you for the offer.”
“I would say that I’d find a way to make it fun, but,” Alton shrugged. “I’ll see you for dinner. Do you want to eat in the mess hall since it will just be the two of us?”
Duxton was getting impatient. “Stop ignoring me!”
“I thought we were supposed to be in the library today!” Sybil called back.
“Not in this weather!” Duxton exclaimed. He did have a point. It was a perfect spring day outside.
Sybil rolled her eyes. “I need to get changed first! Give me fifteen!” She then put her hand on Alton’s shoulder. “We’ll have dinner in the room tonight. It’ll be like… A study date or something.”
Alton watched her run off and sighed to himself. He didn’t want to spend all day indoors either. “Want to help me sort applications?” He looked up at Lydia.
“It’s more withdrawal letters than applications at this point, isn’t it?”
She had a point. Spring had done nothing to stop the procession of tainted beasts. Miasma was still strong in the northern half of the Crimson Region and it was beginning to spread southward. No one was looking forward to becoming a knight while the threat of conscription loomed above their heads.
Alton stretched out his arms and back. “There are still a few idiots left. Should we come up with some tests to use during the exams?”
That immediately perked her up. “Of course I would! I’ve been ruminating for weeks on it! You better have your notebook ready.”
Alton went about his duties for the day. There was a stack of withdrawal letters waiting for him in Till’s office. He had to file these letters and remove their application. Each application was a stack of school records, letters of recommendation, and personal essays. They had to be gathered together and sent back to each applicant along with a letter thanking them for their time.
He had done the math. Even with all the organizing they had done, it took a half-hour or longer to handle each withdrawal. When they had done as much as they could in a day, it was too late to send it with the barrack’s postman. Rather than let the amount stack up, Alton rode all the way to Tilrey and back in order to drop them off.
It was far past dinner time when he returned. He had messaged Sybil a few times to let her know that he was going to be late. She should eat dinner without him in the mess hall. Sybil would only respond that everything was okay and that she would wait for him in the room.
When he returned, he was greeted by a darkened room. “Sybil?” Alton looked around. Lydia had already vanished for the night. “Hello?” Had she already gone to bed?
Sybil appeared out of thin air. She was leaning against the dining table and dressed in a bathrobe, like she had just gotten done washing herself off. “Alright, here’s the deal, okay?”
“... Okay?” Alton closed the door behind him. He stayed near the exit though, because he didn’t feel like being stabbed tonight.
Sybil dropped her bathrobe on the ground. She still had her underwear on, but that didn’t stop Alton’s heart from skipping a beat. “I get to be on top. You do anything weird, I have the right to call the whole thing off. That means you get kicked out for the night. Got it?”
Alton glanced between her chest to her face several times. “... What?”
“It’s never going to be perfect, Alton.” Sybil propped herself up on the edge of the table and crossed her legs. “It doesn’t matter where we are or what the date is. The first time we have sex, it’s not going to be perfect. It’s going to be awkward, and sweaty, and the rhythm might not be all there, so there’s no point in trying to pick out a proper time and place.”
“... Uh huh.”
“My first time, my dad was working on his next breakthrough and wasn’t going to leave the factory for another week. I had to find a way to get Edwin out of the house for a few hours, but the moment he was gone, we decided to go for it. We had to use the living room because the beds in the core are ridiculously narrow.
Zynn ended up walking in during the middle of it because his mom asked him to drop off dinner for me. He just ended up congratulating us and saying that we should go out drinking to celebrate. Meanwhile, I was a complete mess and trying to cover both myself and Zyris up. No matter what happens with us, Alton, it can’t be worse than that... So let’s just get on with it.”
Alton stood there for a moment before he laughed to himself. “Letizia. A cellist. I was composing a piece for her to use for an audition. It was simply a fact that the two of us were passionate about music. She ended up passing her audition and moved to a conservatory in the Violet Region.
Then there was Bernard, a poet, and Leighton, a sculptor. I only picked partners who I knew wouldn’t get attached. Mostly it was a spur of the moment sort of affair, but only in winter. When I could pretend to be fully human. I would always end it with them when spring came.”
“So… Three?”
Sybil held up three fingers to confirm. He nodded. She was suddenly regretting doing this without reading some of those illicit texts that Duxton was always encouraging her to glance through. Was he going to notice that she wasn’t all that experienced? Her cheeks turned red at the thought.
Alton leaned against the door. “Does this have anything to do with the fact that I removed your bracelet and you were getting teased about it?”
“... No.” … Yes. “Alright, Alton, you’re already starting to be on the edge of weird, and I’m serious. I will lock you out of the room until Vex gets back.”
Alton started to take off his jacket. “Of course, you’re right.” He tossed his jacket off to the side and pried off his shirt. “... Did you have condoms ready or do I need to get them?” She winced. “I’ll take care of it.” He climbed up the edge of his bed and retrieved a box from under his pillow.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
Sybil was expecting him to blow her off again. Some excuse about his feelings or because he didn’t think it appropriate because of everything he’s done to her. Though he had done a lot, he hadn’t been as bad since they got back to Braytons. It was also nice to know that her fellow squires had her back when it came to the situation.
Not to mention that their talk today had given her new perspective on their relationship. Both of them were going to be apart for at least a year or two after graduation. There was no telling if they would still be together after that. Somehow, that idea brought a great deal of comfort to Sybil.
Alton held up a condom envelope. “Where do you want to do this?”
“I didn’t want to risk hitting my head against the ceiling, so I rearranged the pillows in my space.” Sybil looked down at the ground. “Why are you being so casual about this?”
Alton placed the condom on the table. He set one hand on her thigh and the other her cheek. “Because I love you,” he replied. “And it’s important to me that you feel comfortable and enjoy my company. I’m not going to make a big deal about it.”
Sybil wrapped her arms about his shoulders. She hesitantly brushed his hair aside and kissed the edge of his earlobe. “Thank you.”
Both of them felt happy during that moment. Whether it was about love, or the desperate need of having someone close, that didn’t matter. For them, that evening was bliss. In the end, that was all that mattered.