Vincent woke first, still tired from the night before. He and Zaniyah spoke for what seemed like an eternity. Their past, their future, and what their relationship meant to them. The severity of her words still weighed heavily on Vincent’s conscience.
Zaniyah had had enough. Her foot tapped on the floor in an agitated manner as she folded her arms. “As things are right now, I mean, as you are right now, Vincent, I… I-I don’t think you can make me happy. We’re both going to have to give something up if we’re going to stay together and I’m not going to make you give up your family. As long as that remains an issue, we can’t work this out.”
“But surely…” He tried to think of something to say, but she shook her head.
“... I’m sorry.”
Neither one knew what to say at that moment. A painful lump formed in his throat. Vincent reached out and touched Zaniyah’s cheek, and she leaned into his palm. He closed the distance between them quickly with a simple peck to her lips. They gazed at each other for a moment before Zaniyah tossed her arms around him so she could kiss him passionately in return.
Their time was spent struggling to find a sense of completion amidst a mix of tears and tender touches. By the time they were exhausted, Vincent didn’t feel better. He felt worse. Gathering his belongings, he chose to leave while Zaniyah was still sleeping.
Vincent was only mildly surprised to find Chickadee waiting on the other side of the door. The blacksmith was impatient. He was in the middle of avoiding Flaytongue but was unable to report back to the others. A pair of jerks had locked him out of the room so that they could get their freak on, and he had no choice but to hide and wait or go help out Flaytongue.
Chickadee was not fond of Amalfrieda. He hated being called a gem bird. He didn’t even understand why she kept calling him that. No matter what happened between the lovebirds, he resigned himself to leaving as soon as possible rather than risk dealing with her again.
Vincent patted Chickadee on the shoulder as he walked past. There was still daylight, and perhaps others who needed to travel to Carapace. He could find a way to get back to the city on his own. Not a word was said to the mage as he left.
Chickadee locked the door behind him. He flopped down on his bed and looked over to Zaniyah. She was out. There was no point in trying to wake her up when she was like this. He took some time to make some repairs to Fling and Whisper, only to realize that Vincent had walked off with his bracer still full of the alterations Chickadee had made. Oh well. If he needed it fixed, he knew where to find the blacksmith.
Chickadee waited until morning before he gave Zaniyah a rough shake. She woke up swinging and Chickadee caught onto her wrist as she did so. Surprise turned to confusion, and that shifted to sadness as she looked around and saw that Vincent had already left. Tears were streaming down her face in an instant. With a sigh, Chickadee gave her a tight hug.
Chickadee let her cry. She deserved that much. He patted her back as her tears stained his clothing. Once she devolved to a series of hiccups, it seemed to him that she was done with her emotional outburst. What she needed was some kindness. Some magic series of words that would ease her worries and give her encouragement.
“... Please put on clothes.”
Crying naked girls were simply not his thing. He had never felt so uncomfortable.
Zaniyah let out a weak laugh and wiped her eyes. “Yeah, you’re right... I’m sorry. We’ve got a lot of work we’re skipping out on in Carapace and we should be getting back before we get into even more trouble.”
After she got dressed, they made their way out of Outcore. Gypsum was gone, and they assumed that Vincent had used him to get back. Chickadee formed another iceboat and Zaniyah sat in the front while he piloted it from the rear. As the wind blew the hair away from her face, there were a lot of thoughts going through her mind. Mostly memories being played over and over as she tried to think of something she could have done in the past that would have prevented any of this from happening.
Vincent was her friend. He was the first guy who wanted to start an actual relationship with her... And it was good. They were good together. Yet in the end, she didn’t want some guy who would solve all her problems for her or who offered her a future of perfection and safety. She needed someone who would always be around as her best friend and partner. That’s what she hoped Vincent would be for her.
“Contact your father?” Chickadee called out from the back.
“Yeah, Sybil said the same thing...” Zaniyah laughed off the idea then, but it was nothing more than a painful reminder now. “I don’t need any favors from that kind of man! If I’m going to be someone someday, I’m going to earn that right myself!”
Mulling over that, Chickadee frowned. “Cheating isn’t always bad.”
Once. Only once. That was the number of times that Zaniyah had met with her father.
Zaniyah was eight at the time. Her mother had bought her a fancy outlander dress with what little money they had. She had spent some time saving up for it, and had to cut a lot of deals in order to get it done on time.
Even though so much effort had been put into getting it, Zaniyah hated the thing. It was bulkier than the spider silk she was used to, and the bow in her hair made her feel like she was dressed up like a child’s doll rather than a person. The only thing she liked about it was the pink color.
They left the core and went to a hotel. Then they were ushered into a room and told to wait. Out of everything at that moment. Zaniyah remembered the table full of fresh fruit the most. Her mother asked her politely to not touch anything. She was worried that the juices would stain her daughter’s clothing and fingers, ruining her chances at making a good first impression.
“I want you to listen to me, Zaniyah.” Zoe smoothed out Zaniyah’s ever curly hair with her hands. A futile effort, but it made her feel better. “We’ve come here to meet someone important. He only wants to see what sort of person you are, that’s all. If he asks you anything, do your best to answer truthfully, alright?”
There was a reason why Zaniyah was extra worried. She had overheard Zynn and her mother arguing about it the night before. Zynn never had an interest in learning his own clerical abilities and he didn’t think Zaniyah needed to learn anything about her magic either. All of them had different fathers, but only she and Zynn had magic. Zynn had always argued that magic didn’t make them more special than Zyris and neither of them would have to use it in order to live in the core.
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Healing magic wasn’t something that existed in the core. Zynn may have said that he wanted nothing to do with his father, but it was actually because no one from the outerland would teach him. He was thirteen now. His job was to be the man of the family, and he couldn’t risk traveling outside of Carapace in order to learn magic.
Zaniyah was fine the way she was and Zynn didn’t believe that she should have to leave Carapace to be with her father. That was the real reason why Zoe was trying to hide how nervous she was. There was a chance Zaniyah would do so much better outside the core, but Zoe wasn’t ready to let her go.
“I don’t want to meet him, mom,” muttered Zaniyah. “Let’s go home. Please?”
“The core is much too small of a place for a special girl like you.” She kept messing with Zaniyah’s hair to the point of it being annoying.
“But I don’t want to be sent away…” Zaniyah looked off to the side and her arms tightened around her stomach. “... Is something wrong with me? D-do you not want me anymore?”
Zoe’s eyes widened at her daughter’s words. “No! Of course I don’t want you to leave! It’s just that it might be better for you if we don’t see each other for a while, you know? But it won’t ever be for forever! No matter what happens, I will always love you and be proud of you as your mother.”
The door opened and a tall man entered. His clothes were foreign and regal looking, with a large coat of arms on the front of his tabard. It was of a spindly looking tree with spikey berries and flowers that were made of fire. Zaniyah took a step back as he approached. She suddenly felt timid as he stooped down. He took his time to examine her and the two stared at each other in silence.
He had dark hair with wild curls, heavy freckles, and the same amber-colored eyes... But he didn’t smile like she did. Not at all. This man looked scary. His eyes flitted to Zoe as he frowned all the more heavily.
“She’s a girl.” He stood back up and looked down at the pair of them.
Her mother quickly stood up and bowed apologetically. “She is. Her name is Zaniyah and she-”
“I should have specified that I would only be interested if she were male.” He clicked his tongue and looked off to the side for a moment. “Leave.” Zoe put a hand on Zaniyah’s shoulder. “I need to speak to her alone. I don’t need you trying to coax her into giving me the answers I want to hear.”
Zoe’s fingers gripped tightly into the girl’s shoulder for a moment before letting go. “I’ll be right outside, alright, Zani? If you need me, just call out as loudly as you can. Just like how Zyris told you to do if you’re in trouble.”
The man waited for Zoe to leave. He kept his eyes on the door for a moment and then sat down on the floor. His hand went forward as he gestured for Zaniyah to do the same. With a nod, the girl did. They sat in silence while he studied her appearance again.
“My name is Nicolas… That woman claims that I am your father.” He still had a frown on his face. They had similar traits, but it still didn’t seem like he was certain.
“... I’m Zaniyah.” She held out her hand without being asked and he shook it. “It’s good to meet you, sir.”
He drew back his hand and folded his arms. “Are you in school?” She nodded. “What do you do for fun?”
Her eyes lit up with excitement. “I like to be with my friends, Sybil and Chickadee! And play with Lydia whenever she’s not busy! She’s always got these really great stories!”
“Lydia?” He tilted his head to the side. “Lady Larkin?” Zaniyah bobbled her head. “... I see.”
“Yeah, she’s super famous but she’s also really nice to all of us in the core! And Chickadee’s dad, Mister Dodo, said that if I’m interested, he’ll teach me how to toss an axe around.”
“Toss an axe around? Not a sword?”
“Pfft. Swords are tiny, but axes are awesome! And it’ll be super safe because Mister Dodo is the best bounty hunter in Carapace! I mean, he’s not, like, one anymore. He’s retired, so the only thing he does now is hunt down any monsters that threaten the core. It sounds like it’s lots of fun, so I wanna learn how to do it too!”
Nicolas blinked a few times. He hadn’t expected her to warm up so quickly. “Do you like weapons?”
“Yeah! I’m not good at a lot of stuff in school like tinkering and grub raising.” She failed to notice that the corner of Nicolas’ lip twitched with confusion. “So if I can learn to be good at something killing baddies, I think I’ll end up happy, right? Because people will be happy and like me because they’ll be safe, and I’ll be happy too!”
“Fighting isn’t an easy path but I would be wrong if I claimed that you didn’t get that from me... Are you strong?” Zaniyah’s head bobbled up and down. He held up his hand. “Push against me as hard as you can.” She stood up and pushed against his palm with both of her hands. Her feet skidded against the wooden floor as she strained and grunted, but he didn’t move.
She stopped and sat down in a huff. “... I guess you’re stronger.”
“Yes, but I am a grown-up.” Her antics were slightly amusing, and he relented to carrying a small smirk on his lips. “Do you know how to cast any magic? There are elementalists in our bloodline. You may possess a talent for it.” She hesitated for a moment before shaking her head. “Have you ever tried before?” Zaniyah almost nodded but then shook her head again.
“I don’t know how. My brother can, but he doesn’t like doing it. My other brother can’t, and neither can mom. Chickadee is really good at it, but he said he just follows the flows of the whispers... I tried talking to them once, but I felt like a crazy person when I tried.”
Nicolas let out an exhale as he eased into a seated position. “Relax and find your center.” Zaniyah closed her eyes and her face scrunched up. What was a center? “Hold your hands out with your palms facing upward. Imagine something warm radiating from them. Find your passion for what is important in your life. Love, happiness, or whatever makes you feel whole.”
What was important to her? Zaniyah thought hard about it before she set her hands back down. She couldn’t concentrate. This man was testing her so he could take her away from her family, right? If so, she didn’t want anything to do with him. Staying with her family and friends was what made her feel whole, and he was a threat to that way of life.
“... I can’t do it.” She told a lie as she folded her arms and puffed out her cheeks. Zaniyah didn’t even want to try.
Standing up, the man gave her a nod. “It was enough for me that you made an attempt. Thank you, Zaniyah. I am going outside to speak to your mother now... Wait here.”
He left the room and Zoe entered shortly after. She apologized to Zaniyah, gave her a tight hug, and then they left together. It was never brought up again. Her father never tried to contact her and only a few people knew that they had even met.
Old memories like that coming up at a time like this were… Uncomfortable. “Cheating is for the weak,” she replied to Chickadee’s statement. “I don’t need him, Chi! I’m a Krogastein! We don’t let people look down on us. Let people take me as I am or not at all!”
The mage shook his head. It’s not that he didn’t agree with her logic, but it felt like she was shunning an important part of herself because of it. That was something he could never approve of but he supposed that now wasn’t a good time to bring it up. He could tell that she was in a great deal of pain right now and his silence was more comforting than any of the words he could come up with.
Even with her back turned to him, he could tell that she was crying. The occasional water droplet would fly past as they glided along the snow and his heart sank a little at the sight of it. Everything would turn out okay though. He’d get her home and then Sybil would talk some sense into her or do something to make her feel better.
What a terrible adventure this had been. He didn’t want to admit it, but he looked forward to hearing what sort of boring things the rest of his squad must have been up to while they were away. Medicine mixing, social meetings, even Alton’s complaints on paperwork was welcome at this point.
After killing a dangerous tainted beast, dealing with Amalfrieda, and seeing Vincent naked butt run away, he needed a return to the mundane. Anything was better than this.