Maraysa Umbrezha Dalyisea
Where? Am I?
Everything is different..what was I doing? Why is it so warm?
I was …attacking something…someone…but…why?
Every thought seems so far away as I try to make sense of the situation. I remember a hand, reaching out… a pair of eyes and then I was back…there
And now?
I'm not.
Dazed like waking from a nightmare and awakening to reality, my foggy mind clears. A voice called me back. A voice that broke me from my prison. Words that could break the walls which my magic could not. What power was held in such simple words? What manner of being would be capable of such a thing? And if such a being existed why would they be here?
Two soft hands rest on both sides of my skin. The touch of these two small hands pulls me into the present . I see, a child. With hair like the burning sun and eye of amethyst, baring into my own. A stare that sees everything from which I could not hide from. A human? It's skin was pale, it's ear's short. Can't be elfin , it does not have any tell tale signs of a beastkin. Was this the owner of the voice that called me?
The little human child's lips move using a language I've never heard before but understood as clearly as if I had heard it a was one I'd grown up listening and speaking.
"It's okay you're safe now"
Safe? What did that feel like?
I've ran, killed and hid for so long. Faced with constant danger at every turn , every second passed in strained vigilance. Waiting, watching, listening for beings of horror, for traps that could kill instantly. How could I ever be safe?
"They can't hurt you now" I hear the voice say
Of course they can't . I've killed everything. Nothing can hurt me now…no-one can hurt me.. there isn't anything left…
I'm
All.. Alon-
"You aren't alone anymore" the voice cuts through my own thoughts breaking them while they form .
Not alone anymore? Alone is all I've ever been. In that prison , the hell I called home, I was by myself. I relied on myself. I had to change, the little girl that first arrived could not survive. I couldn't rely on anyone else… I won't rely on anyone else. Why would anyone help me? Why would anyone be with me?
I ..I can't believe that, I won't believe that…
I can't afford to believe that…if I do, I'll turn back..
Back in to that little girl that believed in her family, her mother , her father , her siblings.
I can’t , if I do that…I'll be hurt again..I don’t want to believe it
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I don’t want to… hope. I won't believe…
The hands leave my face and I feel myself being pulled into an embrace. The action feels alien to me, a sense of security that I haven't felt fills me. My heart, my feelings, my pain all resurface. All this time my bottled emotions rise and begin to overpower me.
NO
I struggle in the arms of the human.
I won't let it, I can't . there is nothing for me, believing will only get me hurt, trusting will only get me hurt, hoping will get me hurt. I won't be hurt anymore. I have to be alone, I can't trust anyone again. I don’t want to be betrayed again…
I feel tears stream down my cheek , I don’t want this, I don’t want to go back.
But
I..don't want to be alone either…
"I won't let you be alone anymore" a quiet whisper that overpowers me , stopping my struggles and my breath.
Such simple words, but they're the words I've always wanted to hear. Words I wanted to all this time but never hoped to hear, for fear that my hopes would not be answered and the disappointment would stop me completely, hurt me more than mere wounds ever could.
I can't believe such words, I shouldn't.
But at this moment I want to. I decided at that moment.
If this is a lie. I choose to believe it.
If this is a dream. I choose to never wake.
My hands wrap around the of the human child and I hold on to it like it would disappear if I let go. Such small shoulders yet I feel as though they could carry the weight of the world. I tower over the being , but I feel smaller than I ever have. The tears fall without end, each drop melting my cold self and thawing my frozen heart.
The feeling of being so vulnerable fills me with dread.
But the hands holding me radiate the warm feeling of comfort and I feel the fears I have kept slowly disappearing
I choose to believe
And I dare to hope
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A bit shorter than usual more icky feelings in this one.
Man feelings are hard to put into words. Anyway this is the last one for
today.
sorry for the late post, I've been reading some guides on this forum and i have just now realised how little i know about anything regarding storytelling. there feels like there something im missing when im writing this story, i can't quite identify it yet but it makes everything i write feel a bit hallow. if any of you can see it please do let me know , its been driving me crazy this past week.