[https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/929765243184357380/1116016903962501282/gbheader2.png]
Chapter 5 - Gno Room for Jokes
“I think I’ve found something,” Percy called out, between a rainfall of loose pages and the occasional hail of splintered wood. The forecast was looking grim, as did most of the furnishings of the library.
Goreblaster did not respond - instead flashes of blue light from Pureheart and the chittering squeals of countless gnomes now skittering about the remnants of any shelves and books that still stood.
“Says here,” Percy continued, even if it fell on deaf ears, “There’s a big bad gnome we can slay, and that’ll end the curse.”
“Not the gnome-boss!” A nearby gnome squealed in shock, the phrases rippling and repeating amongst a few of their fellows.
At least somebody is listening, Percy thought, rolling his eyes amongst his nondescript face. “It will involve a lot of travel, however.”
A hideous slow crunch resounded through the gradually hollowing building as the awning of the second floor around the edges of the main room cracked and collapsed - sending clouds of dust throughout the space. From a pile of wooden planks and old tomes, a figure emerged with a growl and then coughed violently.
“Ugh,” Goreblaster spluttered, “Even the dust-devil of Sandcrater was not this bad; what do they do to make so much dust in here?”
“Probably not go around dusting with a sword,” Percy murmured to himself, to the brief giggles of a gnome close enough to hear. “Are you going to stop instigating an apocalypse, Gore, and listen to me?”
“Ack, you act like I do that more than once a year,” the barbarian scoffed but hopped down the small mound of rubble anyway, only slightly accidentally crushing a hapless gnome beneath his fur-lined boots along the way.
“We’ll need to go about five miles South East to the Rotglow Woods; there should be some kind of entrance to the Gnomish Plane that we can-”
“Gnomish Plane?”
“Yeah, it’s not the Goblin Plane, and not the Elf Plane.” Percy nodded.
“That goes without saying,” Goreblaster leant against the table where his companion still sat, “But why were we going there?”
“Honestly, Gore. There is a demigod gnome there that can remove your curse. A Gnome D, if you will, going by our usual threat determination designations.”
The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.
“So we have to get Gnome-D? Sounds like a quick in-and-out job. With my sword.”
A low groan was followed by a discerning growl as head after head (probably still attached to bodies) of the annoying gnomes popped up from all the debris and remaining shelves of the library. Surrounding them, countless new gnomes appeared from all directions.
“Just how many did you kill, Goreblaster?” Percy furrowed his brow in an attempt to tally the creatures.
“I lost count after… five.” The barbarian shrugged and brought his sword to bear. Like stood in a defensive stance, there wasn’t a bear present to receive the weapon.
There were definitely more than five, or even ten pairs of beady, glowing eyes now staring down at them. In fact, I did the footwork on this and counted them myself. Forty-seven! What was Goreblaster thinking?
“They aren’t looking too pleased with your lax attitude to counting,” Percy rose from the chair like a potato.
“If they want to feel the weight of Pureheart any further they best make a reservation, for pain. Seating available for… more than five.”
Instead of throwing mocking jobes or hurling needling insults toward the barbarian, the multitude of gnomes instead all, as one (almost, some were slow), drew small daggers from within their person - or more likely, some kind of sheathe or pocket.
“That… seems like a bad thing; they didn’t mention assault as a way of killing you.” The small (smaller than the barbarian at least, by far) assistant/manager edged his way behind the hulking form of the muscled fighter.
“Are you kidding Perc? With blades that small, they’d at best be only annoying… oh hells!” With the realisation hitting him, and before any of the pointed metal bits could, there was only one option left for the pair. “Tactical retreat!”
Goreblaster leapt forward towards the exit of the now mostly destroyed book-storing-building, the functionality now in about as much ruin as the order of tomes within. Percy followed close in his wake, as the barbarian had no choice but to cut down several of the gnomes in their way - only creating more of the mischievous critters.
Behind them, the dozens of unassailed creatures clambered over the dust and debris with daggers in hand and malicious intent in their eyes. A small horde of peaked red hats, grey beards, and chittering giggles started to form in pursuit of the heroic pair (or one heroic and one admin) as they struggled to reach the doorway into the fresh air.
“I hope you found what you were looking for,” Jimth called out with croaked voice, still staring out into nothingness and seemingly oblivious to the damage and noise wrought nary but a dozen feet behind him.
Goreblaster didn’t respond, partly because he didn’t have time for a conversation on how his experience in the library had been so far, but also partly because he forgot. Books weren’t so scary anymore once you knew you could just cut through them, and destroy their foundations and the structures that enabled them to thrive. It was a bit like that species of Rat-Goat that he had to help cull, only with less suspect cheese.
The library doors burst open like an overripened tomato as Goreblaster and Percy stumbled forth into the freshness of the day. The first lungfuls of dustless, moving air was almost as intoxicating as ratgoat cheese, and there was a temptation to pause and enjoy the sensation. The soft clattering of pointy felt boots on the floor behind them as a tidal wave of gnomes surged from the inner library put to bed that notion, and it would sleep well.
Fernando huffed in stubborn resignation, the pack mule languishing in impatience just down the street from them - awaiting their need of him just at the right moment.
“Dibs!” Percy called from behind, the rotund man sweating with the encroaching horde hot on their heels.
Goreblaster swore under his breath, he had forgotten to call dibs once again.