Those who think they know me when they see what has already been said and the words that follow will immediately say:

"What does he have to tell us? We know him..."

I am fully aware that my moralizing might be questionable to some people, as I have already admitted, immoral and wrong. Still, the place from which I am sending this story of mine today gives me the right to start it exactly as I have already started, and there is no reason not to continue like that.

About the place where I am now, I will talk a little later.

"Everything would be in the best order if you didn't eat the 'apple' from the forbidden tree. And this is how you are condemned to ask yourself for the rest of your existence, who are you and why are you?" - it came from a place I did not understand.

Life is full of miracles, and sometimes just one minor miracle is enough to encourage us and strengthen our hope for the better every human has expected since Adam and onward. However, many of us can be bypassed even in this overcrowding.

Those born in peaceful times yearn for restless ones full of events. The times I fell into are not at all colorless. The world is swinging unbalanced. Unfortunately, the call for balance is still not strong enough. People are hurriedly grabbing with irresistibly significant steps, moving away from what was human nature until yesterday. Will we adapt to the new thing we are creating by moving away from what we were created in? I'm afraid we're not writing well.

It is clear to me, and I see that we were created a little above the animals, but I cannot fathom how far below the Angels we are. If you know what we humans are here for, please tell me.

Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road.

We know much less about our spiritual existence than our physical existence, yet without the meaning of the spiritual, the purpose of the physical presence becomes inexplicable and, therefore, meaningless. This thesis became close to me only today when I played out my life.

Or is there still some time ahead of me, so I will still play?

Could I have played better?

In any case, however you play, having a sense of purpose is essential. Even when you don't know what it is, it's crucial to feel it exists.

Purpose?

But how to find it when it seems to me that the fog filled the night I was born and as if it never parted again? The creature's twisted imagination never left me, so my whole life was one confusing show.

I often doubted whether I should choose some shred of understanding about who I am and what I serve or whether I should crawl through life in complete darkness.

I have been dreaming the same dream all my life. In it, I am searching for something I know I must find, or there is no escape. I am still trying to figure out what I was looking for, so the question of all questions is; how to find something? I am still determining what it is.

I was looking for not some long-lost memory of something that once happened or something that I knew but was erased under the influence of something.

Did I seek and struggle to find out what I must not know?

What was it that I was looking for?

Can you answer about the future or the prospect of eternity?

Since I didn't know the answers, all I had to do was come up with questions. And those that remain eternally unanswered can lead to confusion, apathy, and hopelessness.

To ask or not?

I admit, when I was overcome by pain and hopelessness, I thought that it would be good if pitch darkness appeared from somewhere so that I could use it and quietly sneak away, to blur far away from my life, running away from that nagging feeling that has followed me since I know for myself, and in him something terrible is running after me and looking for me.

Today, when I ask myself countless questions without answers, I know that even if I could see eternity and find the answers, I would cover my eyes not to see them. Today, my desires are much different and more petite.