“Wow,” Pepper said out loud. A mental chime occurred within his head and he heard Andrea’s voice repeat, “Way to go, Owen Wilson.”
“You seem surprised. Have I done something wrong?” Amprage asked.
“No, not at all, actually. I am just a little amazed, I guess. How are you speaking to me, though?”
“There is a micro-speaker affixed to my rune card. It should have been installed on what could be considered the back of the wafer, directly to the left of where the rune housing brackets are connected.”
“That thing is pretty powerful. It almost sounds like you’ve really got a voice.”
“Many things can have a voice while at the same time never have a need to speak a single word.” Amprage nodded his head.
Pepper chuckled and enjoyed the gesture. He crossed his arms and smiled. “I never imagined one of my statues would be able to have a conversation with me. This is kinda rippin…”
“I have done an essence pulse scan throughout my immediate surroundings and realize that my body appears to be shaped like an American pitbull terrier. Are my estimates correct?”
“Holy crap. You have a built-in radar?”
Amprage sat down and tilted his head. “Of course I do. How else do you think I see?”
Pepper reached up and scratched his head. “I guess you have a point there.”
The raspy yet playful voice of Keith David continued to make Amprage come alive even more. “Of course I have a point, otherwise I wouldn’t have said anything. My system was developed to do an initial scan to understand the shape of the body I was put into. Then my system sends the information to a secure database that will try to instruct me on exactly what I am. The shape matched, and I understand that these Canis lupus familiaris, more commonly referred to as dogs, have eyes and advanced smell and hearing capability.
“Unfortunately, I must admit that I do not possess any of those capabilities. However, it helps train my essence radar, as you called it, to devote its efforts to aiming ahead. I still have a small peripheral radar that allows me to perceive items around me. Now, seeing that I am fashioned into the shape of a dog, would you like me to incorporate the listed traits and personalities associated with these creatures?”
Pepper immediately thought about how he had always wanted a dog. This was a no-brainer, and he reacted without hesitation. “Absolutely!”
“Excellent. Downloading dog personality profile now. Download complete. Installation started. Installation complete.” Amprage moved his head around as if he was looking for something. The scan didn’t last very long, and Amprage began to walk over to the recliner in the corner. Without a second of delay, he opened his mouth and bit down hard and aggressively on the side of the chair.
“Woah! Stop! What are you doing?” Pepper rushed over and pulled back his empowered familiar.
“Destroying furniture, of course. It is part of my personality profile.”
“No! We don’t… you don’t do that. Bad… Amprage!”
“We don’t?”
“No… you don’t… can you delete that part from the personality profile thing?”
“Will do, Pepper.”
“Goodness gracious.” Pepper ran his fingers through his hair. He turned around and rotated his head in a circular motion. Holy cow, what a day… His lower body was taken by surprise by a firm thud against his left leg. There was a slight thrusting motion and Pepper’s head snapped down. “Stop humping my leg, Amprage! Gross!” Pepper shook his leg as vigorously as he could.
Amprage hopped off and tilted his head at his bonded. “I don’t understand. I thought you wanted me to act out the personality profile of a dog.”
“I do! Just not all the gross, destructive, or annoying traits that go along with it.”
“Perhaps you should have mentioned that before I began down this path.” There was a slight pause as Amprage lowered his head. “Shall I … also delete this act from the pers—”
“Yes, delete humping people from the personality profile!”
“Understood. I am sorry, Pepper… I didn’t mean to cause you such pain.”
“You didn’t harm me, man. I guess I should have thought about some of this too.”
“Seeing how we are on the topic,… should I also delete pooping on your bed?”
“Seriously?”
“Just wanted to be sure. You don’t need to snap, Pepper. I’m still learning here.”
“Wait… how would you even do that? You don’t have any organs; you have no need to go to the bathroom.”
“Are you tempting me to find a way? Because if that is what people call a dare, then sign me—”
“Nope! No… forget it. Just forget we even went down that bunny trail.” Pepper placed his hands on his hips and hated the fact that he was in the classic pose of a disgruntled parent. “No destroying anything, no digging, no barking, no attacking the mailman, no vomiting or bathroom accidents, even though that should be impossible anyway. But most importantly, no humping.”
“There is still butt scratches on the carpet.” Amprage tilted his head and seemed to read Pepper’s demeanor. “No worries; I just added it to the list of things-to-delete.”
***
Pepper eventually went to sleep, and Amprage went into his own type of sleep mode and lay at his feet. The rays of sunlight that glowed in the room had started to pull him out of his deep sleep. But it was the door creaking that made him open one eye.
Princess Meg walked confidently into the workshop but soon squealed with excitement. “What is wrong with Amprage?” she asked. “He’s broken!”
Amprage roared to life and immediately powered up and launched himself to his feet. “What is it? What is wrong?” The golem’s head snapped around and its essence radar scanned the room. It looked at the tiny creature. “Alert! Alert! Pepper! Get back! There is a tiny alien life-form nearby, I can sense it!”
A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.
Meg screamed and covered her eyes with her tiny hands. The two fingers that parted to let her peer out made Pepper chuckle. “Both of you calm down.”
Amprage hunched down and looked like he was prepared to pounce on Meg. “Are you sure? Pepper, I can sense fear in the creature. I think I will have the upper hand. Stay back, though; there is no telling what germs it might have.”
Pepper slowly crawled out of his hammock and flicked the top of Amprage’s metal head. A soft metal hum rang out. “Knock it off, blockhead. This is my little sister Megan, but we normally call her Meg.”
“Pepper, what is that?” Meg asked with tear-filled eyes.
Pepper reached down and placed his arms around the frightened princess. The strong and reassuring arms of her favorite knight slowly began to calm her spirits. “Princess Meg, would I ever let harm come to you?” She shook her head. “Okay, well, you don’t need to be scared—”
Amprage cut him off with a low mumbled warning. “You should be, Pepper. There is no telling how many billions upon billions of microscopic organisms are crawling on her.”
“Enough, Amprage. Gosh… you’re getting as dramatic as Brent now.”
“Who’s Brent?”
“My best friend. Now give me a second.” Pepper turned back to Meg. “See, he doesn’t sound so bad, does he?”
She shook her head. “His voice is nice.”
“Well, you don’t need to worry. Amprage is known as a familiar. He is bonded to me. That means he is just trying to protect me. He was just scared because he didn’t get a chance to meet you yet. But now that he has, he won’t give you any problems. In fact, he is going to be your guard too if I’m ever not around.”
“He is?” Meg asked.
“I am?” Amprage asked in unison.
“He is,” Pepper stated in a firm parental tone.
Meg began to regain her composure. Her fear appeared to fade away and she quickly became curious. She looked down at the golem and asked, “Can I sit on his back?”
Pepper didn’t see why not. It wasn’t like Amprage could feel pain. The metal he was forged out of was clearly strong enough, and Pepper had spent countless hours ensuring there wasn’t a sharp edge on him anywhere. So there didn’t appear to be anything wrong with the idea. “Sure… why not?”
He knelt and gently lowered the princess onto her newly assigned steed. Her small hands braced herself against his back, but Amprage understood the task and began to walk slowly around the room. Pepper enjoyed watching Meg, who beamed and cried out with cheers of joy.
“He’s like a horse, Pepper,” she declared.
“Would you like me to add the personality profile of a horse?” Amprage asked.
“Yes!” Meg screamed.
The mental image of Amprage rearing up and kicking him in the junk appeared all too clearly. “No!” Pepper immediately countered. “This is fine… this is fine just as it is.”
A shadow arrived in the doorway, and Pepper looked up to see his father. A phone was pressed to his ear, but Pepper could still hear an Irish accent blaring out. That high-pitched tone could only be coming from Rachel Ni Chuirc, the regional manager of Nordon’s grocery.
Pepper’s heart paused when he saw the dread in his father’s eyes. It was a look he had not seen in years. It was the same look his father had had when he’d had to tell his mom that Travis had been taken from them.
Trent pulled the phone partially away from his ear. “I need to speak with you outside, Pepper.” His father barely got the words out.
Pepper’s heart skipped a beat. He quickly checked his holodex and confirmed his suspicions. His dad was already supposed to be at work. The sunlight blinded him for a moment and he reached his hand up to block it.
His hand couldn’t block the deputy sheriff that was standing in the center of their backyard. The deputy’s hands rested firmly on his nylon patrol belt. A finely trimmed military buzz cut and bland glasses matched his stern and serious demeanor. Pepper slowly approached and stood a few feet away.
“You’re Pepper Walker?” The voice was low, deep, and serious. A complete monotone that didn’t have a single ounce of personality to it. It was all business—serious business.
“Yeah, that’s me.”
“Hello, Pepper. I am Deputy Ryan Kaber with the Kalamazoo County Sheriff’s. I would like to discuss a few things with you, if that’s all right?”
“Do I really have a choice?” Pepper narrowed his gaze.
“Sure, you can choose to not talk to me or you can have a discussion regarding some information I have as it relates to your activities last night.”
Pepper’s heart soared to life and felt like it was going to punch straight through his throat. His hands began to go clammy. The sun was directly on him; Pepper could have sworn to any doctor that he had been placed into an oven. His temperature rose with every beat of his heart, and his chest began to contract with every breath he took.
“You see, Pepper. When I arrived at your house, I noticed your bike.” The deputy adjusted his left arm and activated his Emergotech Guardian X5 holodex, a specialized device specifically created for first responder personnel. The full-color holographic display illuminated. “This tire tread found just outside Kyle’s junkyard. It just so happens to match your tire tread. Now, that really isn’t that big of a deal; tire treads are not a highly competitive industry and many share the same pattern.”
The sheriff closed the holographic image and placed his hand back on his duty belt. “What is interesting is that Kyle’s junkyard is actually located in a highly dense red clay area of the county. The side wall of your bike tires has a small red clay coloration on them. It is also the same red clay I see on the shoes you’re wearing.”
Pepper felt a bead of sweat run down his face. He quickly wiped his head with his hand and dried his hand on his pants. A quick glance at his dad made him guess that there was still more to come.
“I can’t help but notice a slight red color on the front of your pants there. I would assume that was caused when you slid underneath the fence on the back side of the junkyard. It just happens to be right near where the tire tread ends.
“Now, I don’t really need you to lift up and show me the sole of your shoe. I am positive that it will match the shoe imprint my evidence tech is taking a mold of right now. To be fair, theft from the junkyard is not unheard of. I really didn’t have a lot of leads to go on.”
The deputy turned to his dad and waited for a second. Trent, with a remorseful expression, nodded to the deputy. “You see, Pepper, you would have easily gotten away with the theft, but you just weren’t satisfied, were you? So, you left the junkyard and traveled to your dad’s work. You used his access code to get into the building and deactivate the security system.
“What you don’t realize is that Nordon’s grocery stores have a central headquarters where they monitor all the stores’ alarms and camera systems remotely. Any type of door activity, such as what you did outside of the normal operating hours, triggers a silent alarm in their system. The remote worker not only watched you on video but recorded you modifying the golem with the damaged power core.
“The Nordon security team notified us of the burglary, but unfortunately, all our units were tied up with an emergency and couldn’t respond in time to catch you in the act. That and you were nice enough to resecure the facility. So, with no continued threat to the store, I decided to piece together the little bit of information I discovered this morning and pay you a little visit.”
The sheriff shifted his weight. “Did I miss anything?”
Pepper was looking straight at the ground and was filled with such guilt that he dared not look either man in the eyes. His eyes filled with tears and his hands were trembling. “No, sir,” he finally muttered.
“Where is the backpack?” Deputy Kaber asked.
“It’s in my workshop.” He motioned with his head to the door. “All the parts are still in there.”
A small commotion occurred behind him—a mixture of Amprage and Meg’s rumbling chuckles and laughter. Deputy Kaber started to break his demeanor and arched an eyebrow. “What is that?” The sheriff pointed behind Pepper.
“It’s my horsey!” Meg declared with resolute confidence.
“I am the royal steed of Princess Megan of house Walker. Stand back, you over-glorified mailman, or I shall act in defense! Hazzah!” was Amprage’s aggressive decree.
“No! You will do nothing, Amprage. Take care of Meg until I return home… whenever that is.” He turned back to the deputy. “That is my familiar. He is bonded to me. He won’t harm anything, or anyone, for that matter.”
“Pepper Walker, I am placing you under arrest. Please turn around and put both hands behind your back.” The deputy undid his handcuffs and took a step forward. Pepper turned around and did as the deputy instructed. The cold metal shocked his senses when they were first introduced. Each click of the handcuffs latched them further down until they fit snug against his wrists. The sound imprisoned his soul, and all Pepper could envision was dark days ahead of him.