There was something cold touching her. A cool, slightly wet feeling on her toes. She twitched her toes, trying to dislodge it, but after a moment it returned, more persistent, huffing slight puffs of hot breath against the arch of her foot. She pushed the blanket back, annoyed with whatever was disturbing her melancholy. Her cat pushed his nose into her toe again, with even more insistence. ‘Oh you’re back.’ She said flatly. It was unfair for her to be mad at him when she left him first, but coming back to an empty home had been almost as heartbreaking as being ripped away from Ceit. Like he had abandoned her too. He gave her a reproachful look, as if he had the same thought. ‘I know, I know,’ she sighed, properly admonished. He walked to the exit, meowing at her insistently. ‘You want me to follow you?’ She asked. He circled back to her, nudging her foot again, nuzzling her leg. ‘Maybe tomorrow. It’s a bit too soon today.’ She mumbled, tears rising. She retreated back under her blanket pile, pulling the covers over her head.

She wasn’t sure she would ever be ready to get up. Everything felt too raw. Every place she had used to go was contaminated, now filled with memories of Ceit that were too painful to encounter just yet. Or maybe ever. She had been so eager to share her life with Ceit, to show her the world she inhabited, she hadn’t thought about how it would hurt when Ceit was gone. She entertained the idea of sleeping forever. Just like the gods in Ceit’s stories, the ones that went to eversleep and never woke up, sunk into the earth, their bodies becoming one with the planet, wrapped forever in its embrace with blissful smiles as they everslept, sunken into sweet forever dreams. There was nothing for her outside of her bed, she could just stay here, warm and safe from her own mind. She was just so tired. Of the loneliness, of life. She wasn’t even alive any way, she didn’t have a life to give up on, she thought bitterly. Her entire body hurt with the strength of her emotions, an ache deep in her soul.

Something cold was touching her. Again. She groggily kicked out at it, unwilling to leave the safe realm of sleep. Here she could dream. Of Ceit. Of a city filled with people. Of some nameless, faceless person that missed her. Anyone. Something jumped on top of her, crushing the blankets into her intangible body. Ugh, uncomfortable. Irritably she pulled back the covers, looking at her cat accusingly. He sat primly on top of her nest, as if some other, ruder cat was the one that had been using her body like a spring board. She looked around at her home for the first time in a while. It seemed the cat had gotten into her belongings, strewing them across the floor in disarray, her seashell collection scattered across the floor, and even some of her lanterns knocked down from around the enclosure. How did he even get up there? Annoying. Was this a ploy to get her out of bed? Probably. Was it working? Yes. She had carefully gathered all of the treasures in her house and she was loath to see them in such a state.

After picking up and carefully returning them to their designated spots, with a couple choice words to her cat, scolding him as she worked to reorganize her home, she perched on top of her bed, fluffy comforter depressed with the slight weight of her body, legs crossed, surveying her work with satisfaction. Her cat was waiting by the exit again, sitting on his haunches wide eyes staring at her intensely and tail twitching, seemingly uncowed by her reprimands. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to go out, just for a little, she thought, reluctantly, eyeing the world outside her skull home, vibrant and fresh. Sunlight streamed in through the openings in the bone, enticing, inviting her back into the waking world and its warm embrace.

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He led her somewhere new again, this time a tiny quiet overgrown cemetery, tucked in a corner of a public garden, kapok and willow trees nestling the grave stones, cradling them in their gnarled roots, flowering vines growing up the tree trunks, brightly colored petals occasionally drifting down softly in the warm humid breeze. Small stone cat statues in relaxed poses were scattered beneath drooping branches creating an air of peaceful tranquility in the grove. Her cat navigated the tombs with familiarity, guiding Alene to a small stone shrine in the center, open walled but with a tiled roof.

Her cat sat dignified in the center of the open altar, looking as if he belonged there more than he had anywhere else, his dark coat dappled mysteriously by the light making its way from the canopy above, before letting out a long plaintive sound more like a human’s voice than any sound she’d ever thought a cat could make, mournful and lingering. As if at his behest, ghostly lights lit up through the spider web cracks in the graves, ghostly feline figures broke free from the statues and memorial markers, erupting from their stones with puffs of glittering ghostly residue, dislodged leaves swirling in their wake from the bases of their tombs as they emerged, summoned to his side. They crowded around him, all facing him, reverently, while Alene was just another ghost among the throngs, surrounded by small furry ghostly bodies. He looked so very proud, Alene thought with a small fond smile.

What sort of creature was her cat, she wondered. He couldn’t be just a cat, she thought with certainty. He seemed…a king among cats, holding court over a ghostly congregation, at the epicenter of the ghostly activity, accepting their affections with the dignity of a god accepting homage. A god, perhaps, Alene turned the idea over in her mind, comparing her cat’s behavior with the gods in Ceit’s stories. It seemed ridiculous, to think that her cat, the cat that goofily batted at beetles, that was fascinated with the string from her bedding, was some sort of god. And yet… Had Ceit mentioned a cat god? She wished she had paid a little closer attention to the content of the stories. She had been so caught up in the comfort of Ceit’s presence, the cheery cadence of her voice. A pang shot through her chest at the thought of Ceit. No, she shook her head, centering herself. It was ok to miss Ceit, but she was here to let go of the despondency brought from her absence. Though it wasn’t all about Ceit. Their time together had only sharpened contours of the loneliness that her departure had articulated.

She had a life before Ceit, and she would continue to after as well, she resolved, taking a deep breath. If she had to live one breath to the next then she would. She would persevere.

Her attention was pulled back to the cat ghosts as they began to approach her cat, one by one, butting faces with him affectionately before being absorbed by the subtle diaphanous astral body outlining his form, glittering like a mantle of stars, increasing incrementally with each cat inclusion, the light of it growing steadily stronger as the ceremony progressed. As the last cat greeted him and was absorbed, its face in peaceful bliss, her cat finally looked at her, his milky eye still, but his other eye spinning rapidly, round and round and round in its socket, otherworldly and eerie. Suddenly and without warning, his astral body rapidly spread out, whooshing past her in a surging wave, encompassing her until she was surrounded by a sea of stars, overlaid on the grove. His body, she realized, a scaled projection of her cat stretched throughout the tomb yard.

She was in his eye. Or rather, just outside the astral projection’s eye, looking in. She could see herself. Well, some version of herself, holding another being in her arms, a peaceful smile on her face. The figures were out of focus, ambiguous. Not Ceit, or at least not Ceit as she had last seen her. She couldn’t tell if this was the past or the future or some fantasy, or who it was that she was holding. All she knew, in that moment, in some future-past-maybe time, was that she was not alone. And that was enough. ‘Thank you,’ she whispered to her cat, and she meant it from the very depths of her soul.