The two men sat in silence for several unbearably long minutes in Kimmie’s living room, each of them trying hard not to look at, or converse with, each other. Andy took a spot at the edge of the plush couch and perused the various books on the coffee table. Ollie sat in the corner chair, which was turned at an angle allowing him to see out the wide dining room window, which overlooked a rear deck and part of the backyard. A baseball bat caught his eye, leaning against the wall next to the window, with a signature prominently displayed. He squinted, realizing that the name was Barry Bonds. Ollie tried not to look impressed. He hated Bonds, but he had to respect the fact that it was hard to get the guy’s autograph. And he hadn’t taken her for a hardcore baseball fan. She must have really sweet-talked him.
On further inspection, most of the room had similarly strange décor for an attractive, young woman. A fish clock hung on the wall over the couch, next to a sign that said, “I got a new fishing rod for my wife. Best trade I ever made!” Brightly colored, hand-made quilts lay over the tops of the furniture, the yellows, pinks, and greens radioactive in their gaudiness. A set of stylish lamps sat on end tables on either side of the couch, designed to look like old-fashioned oil lamps.
Clearly, most of this stuff had belonged to her aunt and uncle. He hoped.
“Landscaping, huh?”
Ollie pulled his eyes from the furnishings and looked at the cop, trying to decide if he was giving him a hard time, or just making small talk. He gave a quick nod.
“How’d Kimmie find you?”
Ollie looked around the room, thinking of an answer. “Internet.”
Andy nodded thoughtfully. “Gotta be careful with that. You can find a lot of crazies on the internet.”
He took a satisfied sip of his beer.
Ollie raised an eyebrow. “In my experience, crazies come from all over. Sometimes they claim to be landscapers, other times they’re wearing a respectable uniform.” He glanced at Andy’s police attire as he took a swig of his own beer. “Crazy doesn’t always advertise.”
Andy regarded him carefully, probably preparing his own retort. He never had time, however, as footsteps creaked down the stairs, and an older couple appeared at the far end of the living room. Ollie recognized the woman from earlier this afternoon. She was short and portly, with curly white hair and a grandmotherly vibe. She wore a bright flowery blouse and yellow pants. Her husband sported shorts, sandals, and a Hawaiian shirt that barely covered an impressive beer belly. They both had the look of long-retired tourists.
“Oh!” the woman said. “Dinner guests?”
Andy stood up and shook the man’s hand.
“You must be Kimmie’s boarders. I’m Andy, a friend of hers.” He motioned to his uniform. “And a local officer of the peace.”
“A Ferndale Police Officer?” the woman asked.
“Yes, ma’am. I came here to make sure no suspicious characters interfere with your lovely dinner.”
He flashed a grin that probably made women swoon. Ollie stifled a groan.
Kimmie leaned through the swinging door leading to the kitchen, wiping her hands on the kitschy red, white, and blue apron tied around her waist.
“Making friends in here?” She smiled warmly. “Guys, this is Wendy and Albert Cook, from Santa Fe. They’re staying here for the week, on a sightseeing trip, the first leg of their first trip to California.”
“It’s good to meet you,” Wendy said. She and her husband took the spots next to Andy. As they sat, another couple made their way down the stairs and emerged from the corner of the living room.
“Good timing,” Kimmie said. “Boys, this is David and Mariah Best. They’re teachers from Columbus, Ohio. Also on vacation.”
David was a large, if bookish-looking man in his forties, with short brown hair and pale skin. He dressed like a teacher, wearing a solid blue polo and pleated khaki pants, and he had the face of a man who rarely smiled. Mariah seemed David’s polar opposite – short and petite, with blue eyes and a sultry smile that struck a chord with Ollie, though he couldn’t say why. She wore a revealing yellow and green sundress that caught the attention of every man in the room, no matter how much they tried not to stare.
“Boarders,” Kimmie said, smiling at the two couples, “this is Officer Andy Allsome, a member of Ferndale’s small, but proud, police force.”
Andy nodded his head in greeting.
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“There may only be seven of us,” he said, “but we do our best with this one-horse town.”
“And this is Oliver Hauk, my new landscaper.”
Ollie gave a polite nod. He was determined to get through this torture chamber of a dinner without saying a word. He heard the dogs barking outside. Probably putting Grika through the same ordeal, while simultaneously affirming Kimmie’s suspicions about the little beast. He felt a sudden urge to strangle whoever spilled the beans about that on CoN. After hunting this goblin, he’d need to hunt down some hunters who were talking too much.
“Good old Kimmie,” Andy said, eyeing Ollie over his beer bottle. “Never met a stranger.”
Ollie tried to ignore the smug jerk.
“Dinner is almost ready,” Kimmie stepped halfway back into the kitchen. “That means everyone can spend a few minutes getting to know each other while I finish up with the food.”
“Need help, dear?” Wendy asked.
“No.” Kimmie pointed sternly at the couch. “I need you to relax in here and make some new friends.”
She disappeared back through the kitchen door. Wendy and Albert took charge of the conversation from that point on, regaling everyone with how much they loved the town and what they’d been up to the last two days. Andy chimed in with some suggestions for other sights in the area, including a few places in Eureka and farther north, in Arcata and McKinleyville. He even offered up an old wives’ tale about hauntings at the top of the cemetery hill here in Ferndale. Ollie took careful note of that story, without looking like he was taking notes.
Mariah and David stayed quiet, listening intently to Andy’s stories, although Ollie caught Mariah giving him a few longer-than-appropriate looks. Fortunately, Kimmie arrived and shuffled everyone over to the dining room table.
The table sat next to the large bay window that overlooked the pen in the back of the house, along with the forest that formed a U-shaped ring around it. With perfect timing, the sun set as they took their places, slipping below the hillside to the west.
Mariah glanced over her shoulder at the sunset and nearly swooned. “I never get tired of that view.” She squeezed David’s shoulder, and he gave her a quick smile before focusing on the dinner rolls on his plate. Ollie looked up and caught a glimpse of himself in a wall mirror hanging between the window and the kitchen door. He blanched at how much he stood out amongst this little dinner party. The poor, grime-covered waif invited to a fancy gala. Now he felt even more uncomfortable.
Kimmie brought out a big salad bowl, followed by various beef sliders and a pasta salad. Andy and Kimmie’s boarders wasted no time in serving themselves as each dish was placed on the table. Ollie paced himself, not wanting to bring any more attention to himself than normal.
A few minutes into dinner, Albert cleared his throat. “So, Andy, is your job as Mayberry as we think it is?”
Albert chuckled, and most of the room joined him. Andy smiled and straightened the napkin on his lap.
“It’s not a bad gig. I get to cruise around with my windows open, chat with all the locals, and ignore the one stoplight in town.”
“Just like high school?” Kimmie smirked as she dug into her pasta salad.
Andy feigned indignation. “Ouch. I did go to a few classes, despite my reputation. And I passed, thank you.”
“You are definitely smarter than you look, that’s for sure.” Kimmie grinned as the others laughed at her joke.
Mariah looked up from her plate. “You went to high school together?”
“Yeah,” Kimmie said. “Middle school and high school. We were somewhat decent friends back in the day. Still are, I like to think.”
“Yep. Kimmie was the nerdy little girl with glasses, and I was the bone-headed jock who probably got hit in the head a few too many times in football practice.”
Kimmie raised her wine glass. “Andy Awesome!”
“But we never let that get in the way of a good argument about our chemistry homework.”
“Mr. Hancock’s class!” Kimmie said with a laugh. They clicked their wine glasses together and drank.
“So, you both stuck around here, huh?” Albert asked.
“Sort of. I went to DePaul University in Chicago,” Kimmie said, “so I could be out near my dad’s family for a while. I was going to stay there and get my Master’s, but then my aunt and uncle passed away a couple years back. This was their place. They left everything to me, and I didn’t have the heart to sell it, so I turned it into a bed and breakfast.”
“It’s a beautiful place,” Wendy said. “I can’t get over how scenic this area is.”
“What can I say?” Kimmie said. “It’s magical.”
“Ooh,” Mariah raised her own glass. “Good word!”
Andy cleared his throat. “I came back a little sooner. Went to college in Washington on a football scholarship, but I blew out my knee freshman year. Never really got it back to a hundred percent, but I graduated, then I came home and went to the Academy. My grandfather was the Chief of Police in Eureka back in the seventies, so I thought I’d make this a family business.”
The dogs began barking even more loudly.
“Those dogs are really after something out there,” Wendy said. “Want me to go check on them?”
Kimmie waved her off. “Probably a squirrel. They’ll get bored in a few minutes.” She smirked at Ollie, who looked away.
“What about you, Mr. Hauk?” Mariah rested her chin on her fist. “How did you get into landscaping?”
Ollie felt the entire table watching him.
“Wrong place at the wrong time, I guess.” He took a bite. When no one really responded to his answer he added, “Learned it from my dad. Like Andy here says, it’s a family business.”
“There’s something very noble in that,” Mariah said. She turned to David, who was focused on his food. “Don’t you think?”
David looked up, startled. “Huh? Oh yes. Very noble.” He smiled then went back to shoveling food into his mouth.
“Oh!” Kimmie said. She grabbed her phone and tapped the screen a couple times. “I need a picture. I always make sure to get pics of big dinners, so I can remember everyone I was lucky enough to meet.”
“What a good idea,” Wendy said, patting her hair.
Kimmie stood up and trained her camera on the center of the table. “Now everyone lean in! Mariah, stop hiding behind David. Albert, lean back about two inches so I can get Wendy in all her glory. Oliver, smile. Pretend like this is fun!”
Ollie inwardly groaned, but he forced a smile as Kimmie took the picture.
After a few moments of passing the phone around for everyone to see the picture, the conversation turned into a comprehensive list of the cities Wendy and Albert had visited in the last twenty years, and no one bothered Ollie with any more questions. He spent the rest of dinner eating, avoiding eye contact, and looking for an opening to bolt out the front door.