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Dull beginnings

Dull beginnings

I find myself in the middle of a town square surrounded by cobblestone houses. Beside me were a handful of players who, just like me were logging in for the first time. But i didn’t care about them, after this job is over i don’t plan to come back to this game unless i find something truly extraordinary. For now, i’ll just test out a few of the base mechanics and leave. after all, according to the forums, this is one of those games that keeps players from leaving the starting city until they are level 10 and forces us to do stupid fetch quests to level. I guess its better than murdering defenseless bunnies right out of the gates, but still...

Anyways, back to reality. er, virtual reality.

I take a few steps to get out of the “newb zone” and head to a more open section of the street. The first thing i noticed was that ground felt flat and smooth like a tiled floor despite the fact that it was clearly supposed to be cobblestone.

10/10

-1

9/10

I like to pretend these games are monsters and when i find something bad it loses HP. Call me crazy if you want, but it helps stave off the boredom as well as helping me keep track of how to rate the game.

“Status”

Status WindowName:ScarabAlignment:NeutralLevel:1Class:noneRace:HumanGender:MaleTitlesnoneFame:0Infamy:0-Health:100 / 100Health Regen:0.5 / SecMana:100 / 100Mana Regen:0.5 / SecStamina:100 / 100Stamina Regen:0.5 / Sec-Strength:10Agility:10Vitality:10Dexterity:10Intelligence:10Wisdom:10Charisma:10Luck:10-ResistancesFire:5Water:5Wind:5Earth:5Light:5Darkness:5

Seems pretty standard.

“Inventory”

nothing fancy here either. Just the standard newb care package consisting of 5 pieces of barely edible bread, 10 copper coins, and a knife. I check my satiety bar and find it around 97%. Well, at least this won’t be a complete waste. I push the bread box and a piece appears in my hand. With great reluctance, I take a bite.

A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

Yup. Tastes like cardboard. Why does it always have to taste like cardboard? They could have made it taste like real bread, but noooooo, the players need ‘motivation’ to buy the more expensive stuff. Interestingly though, since i only took a bite, the bread lost some durability instead of just being completely consumed. I throw it back in my inventory and proceed to glare at it as it now takes up its own slot.

9/10

-.3

8.7/10

I walk over to a shop sporting a sign with a backpack over it. As good a place as any to test the so called advanced artificial intelligence they mention in the commercials. the shopkeeper, a bald middle aged man in a green apron, welcomes me as i approach.

“Welcome to the Venture Shop, how may i help you?”

without saying a word, i grab a piece of stale bread he was selling (seriously? who sells stale bread) and put 1 copper piece on the counter and walk out.

“Thank you for your patronage”

I immediately re-enter the store

“Welcome to the Venture Shop, how may i help you?”

“Yes, I realized i only bought half of what i wanted, could you please grab the rest so i can pay for it”

the NPC froze for a second. and another. I waited for 10 more seconds before i was entirely sure he wasn’t going to do anything.

8.7/10

-1

7.7/10

i back walk out and back in.

“Welcome to the Venture Shop, how may i help you?”

“I would like 2 pieces of bread”

“That’ll be 2 copper, lad”

the shopkeeper grabs 2 pieces of bread and hands them to me as i give him 2 copper coins. hmm, i wonder if i can abuse the dialogue reset? i walk out yet again and put one foot back inside.

“Welcome to the Venture Shop, how may i help you?”

step back, step forward.

“Welcome to the Venture Shop,-”

step back, step forward.

“Welcome to the Ve-”

back, forward.

“Welcome to th-

back, forward “Wel-” back, forward “Wel-” back, forward “Wel-” back forward.

“Welcome to the Venture Shop, how may i help you?”

Advanced AI my ass. My front door has better recognition coding than this guy. How sloppy are they not even to make the shopkeeper recognize previous customers?

7.7/10

-1

6.7/10

I sure hope at least the combat is worth something. But because of that stupid level 10 limit on leaving, that’s something I'll have to try later. Although... i suppose i could still test out 2 related mechanics. I remove my knife from my inventory. I feel along the edge of the blade. It’s dull, but it’s only a beginners knife. Since i’m not sure how the guards, or the players for that matter, may react, I move to a small alley behind the shop. Once i’m sure i am alone i plunge the knife into my chest.

100/100

-40   *critical hit

60/100

This is a neat little exploit i found in King’s Conquest where if you die at level 1 you don’t lose levels, experience, or items. Of course i tested it out in other games as well and all of them, without exception, have this kind of newb protection. Plus i get to test out how self damage and death work without any penalties. I pull out the knife and stab again.

60/100

-40   *critical hit

20/100

It hurts, but with only around 10% pain in this game, It’s bearable. Besides, this is nothing compared to the dragon’s fire from Path of the Crown, or the poisons in Ruin Online. One more hit and i wake up in my room with the perfect excuse to play Path of the Crown for the next 8 hours. Did i mention this game has the lockout mechanic? i hate it in the games i like, but it’s perfect for situations like this. Now just one more hit.

20/100

-40   *critical hit

0/100

I keeled over and everything faded to black.

YOU ARE DEAD

The window flickered for a few seconds before disappearing.

...

...

...

Why am i not waking up?

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