Several hours passed. Sparrow checked his phone. It was 12 a.m. The sound of his parent’s snores were audible from the door over. The time had come.
Sparrow was at his computer. The light from the monitor’s screen illuminated his face in the dark.
There were game icons scattered across the entire desktop. He had spent the majority of his time playing single player games. Only one game was multiplayer.
His eyes wandered to an icon which consisted of the letters RQ, the letter Q being made up of a circle with a sword piercing it.
Sparrow clicked on it and a bootup screen appeared.
A title appeared in big bold letters in front of a fantasy backdrop. “REALM OF QUESTING”.
Realm of Questing, abbreviated as “ReQuest” by fans, is an online virtual reality video game. The world’s most popular VRMMORPG.
The memories of childhood flooded his mind.
ReQuest used to be Sparrow’s favorite game before Ascension came out eight years ago. Many players left behind ReQuest in favor of the competitive arena fighter.
It had been long since he deleted it from his computer.
After a bit of waiting, a login screen appeared. Sparrow had stayed away from this game ever since Cassi’s passing.
The guilt he felt helped him stay focused at the task ahead. He logged into a new account he had made.
After clicking through some menus, a prompt appeared on his screen.
[Please put on the headset]
He looked over to the DualMind vr helmet on his desk and placed it on his head. He was in the dark for only a second before the visor lit up before his eyes.
[Please lie down on a flat surface]
Example images of a man sitting in an inclined chair and a bed appeared. Before the game transports the player’s consciousness into the game, they need to be laying down on a sturdy surface.
Sparrow walked over to his balcony. He slid open the sliding door, and walked out. He looked out at the night cityscape. He felt the cool night air touch his skin.
He slowly crept towards the railing.
He grabbed a chair, stood on it, and held onto the railing of the balcony. It was thin but wide enough to lie down on.
Sparrow’s heart beat out of his chest as he sat down on the railing.
It felt like the night breeze would be enough to push him over.
Every cell in his body screamed for him to get back down but he quickly got over it.
C’mon don’t be a pussy.
He was almost free.
Soon there would be no more pain. The pain of loneliness, of the past, of his thoughts. They would all cease to be.
He tried his best to not look over the ledge.
He lived on the 8th story of his condo. He already knew what the view looked like, there was no need to be curious.
While grabbing the rail, he slowly dangled his leg over the side of his balcony.
He balanced the length of his body on the railing. It held little more than his spine, but regardless had enough surface to hold a third of his body.
His arms shook a bit as he planted his back flat against the railing, leaving a leg brushing the ground for stability.
Hauling the rest of his body up, Sparrow held his head still as he shimmied back and forth, balancing himself. The helmet propped his head up at a slight angle.
Once he felt stable enough, he lifted his dangling leg up onto the railing. Sparrow strained the side of his body that still remained on the railing. If he loosened the tension in his muscles, he would fall over.
The edge of the railing was digging uncomfortably into his back. However, for the headset to begin calibrating, his heart rate had to be relaxed – a safety measure implemented prior to the incidents.
He took deep breaths through his nose. They were uneven and shaky. Eventually they smoothened and his breathing was steady and calm.
The helmet began calibrating and analyzing his brain.
[Game ready. Voice activation required]
‘It worked!’
He felt oddly proud that this succeeded.
Sparrow took one last deep breath, finally feeling at peace with himself.
He looked past the screen's visor, not yet fully opaque, to the night sky. The stars had never looked so beautiful before.
Sparrow closed his eyes.
“Game start,” Sparrow said with finality to his voice.
Cool air blew into his face, the headset whirred to life, and stars burst in his vision. Then, everything went dark.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Suddenly he was conscious again. He now found himself in the middle of a raucous town square. Rustic buildings and cobblestone beneath his feet, and a big castle could be seen looming over majestically in the distance.
Suddenly, he was conscious again, in the middle of a raucous town square. Rustic buildings cast shadows on the cobblestone beneath his feet, and the majestic castle in the distance all but obliterated every other presence.
Login notifications greeted Sparrow, but he ignored them.
Sparrow sighed, a shameful smile creeping onto his face. Any second now, everything would finally cease to exist.
While there were players bustling all around him, laughing, making noise, and going on about their business, Sparrow felt like the only person in the world.
He felt like the only person that mattered, which was a first since he had become a recluse.
In its truest sense, the world ends with you. While the earth would keep spinning and its people would continue living their lives, Sparrow wouldn’t have a body to perceive it with. His world would effectively be nothingness. The world might as well have died with him.
‘Unless there really is an afterlife.’
Sparrow wasn’t religious, although he had always been open to the idea of there being a god.
Whether the afterlife is a place where evil suffers or where the good find peace, he didn’t believe in it.
‘If hell does exist, I don’t doubt I’ll be sent there.’
In a world full of truly deplorable people, he surely wasn’t the worst of what humanity had to offer, but he felt he couldn’t be labeled a decent person. Not in the slightest.
Sparrow began making his way up a hill and towards the city park, in an effort to distract himself from the impending fall. A few minutes spent in tense anticipation later, he found himself on the park trail.
The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.
The sun in-game was setting, falling in the East towards the city entrance, directly opposite of the castle.
Players looked toward the horizon beyond the castle walls, enjoying the virtual sunset. Friends and couples were lost in its artificial beauty.
Sparrow hadn’t timed this. The stars had aligned for his last day to be a beautiful one.
He looked around and found an empty bench. He walked over to it and sat down.
Sparrow opened the menu and checked the time. 12:22 a.m. He estimated about five minutes, give or take, before his muscles would totally relax, dropping him from the railing to his death. Honestly, he was surprised they hadn’t given out yet.
His plan was fool proof. Even if the game disconnected while Sparrow fell, it took around ten seconds before one would regain consciousness after logging off. Before that could happen, he'd be dead and gone.
It was actually a pretty common method of suicide back then. When the DualMind headset first released, people used the nerve sedation feature for assisted suicide.
Of course it caused an uproar, and the 1st generation headsets were called off. Recent models now had more counter measures in place.
In order to encourage product owners to hand over their old headsets, they offered a variety of incentives, including in-game currency and discounts on newer headsets. It was wildly successful.
Although many had kept theirs, their newfound rarity and notoriety made them collector's items. Some were purchased for the very same reason they were called off.
Despite his hatred for the game, Sparrow had kept his first headset because it was a gift from Cassi’s family.
He watched the virtual sun as it moved below the castle walls. It had been a long time since he had been in this game. Aside from the login tests, he rarely touched it.
Sparrow looked around him. Many groups used the park as a meet up spot, the buzzing environment of the town center carrying over.
He watched as a lone player approached a waiting group, sparking cheers and jests before the merry band marched most likely towards the adventurer’s guild.
Memories of his old friends and Cassi made him feel both nostalgic and sick.
He checked the time again. 12:28 am. A minute past the original five minute timeframe.
This made him feel only a little uneasy. He already came to terms with the chance that it might take him a while to fall off.
He was sure with the way he was lying down, his left arm and leg would dangle off the side after the nerve sedation kicked in, making him fall over the edge.
He was sure that with the way he was positioned, the already precariously balanced left side of his body would dangle off the side as the nerve sedation increasingly kicked in, eventually rolling him off the edge.
He looked out at the scenery before him. The sky had begun to darken and stars appeared one by one.
In game, day and night cycles were twice as fast as in real life, so 2 days passed in the game every 24 hours.
Before darkness could engulf the park in its entirety, small fires ignited within all the lamp posts, growing them till the pathways were illuminated.
Sparrow’s mind drifted as he got lost in thought.
He began to imagine all the scenarios that could play out. Either he’d die sometime soon or by some miracle, he’d survive.
It might be possible that he could fall the other way towards his room. Maybe his parents would pull him back to safety.
It then occurred to Sparrow that if he is out there for too long, the chances of him being seen by a passerby or neighbor in a nearby building would skyrocket.
The last thing he wanted was the attempt to be unsuccessful. He’d be more pissed about being alive if he were to get locked up in a psych ward. He looked up at the stars and waited for his time to come.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
1:30 am. It had been over an hour since he had logged in. His mind raced. How long would he be here for? He began to entertain the idea that he had already died and this was all an illusion.
‘No, it can’t be. I can’t be dead just yet.’
The players around him seemed too real, and some of their conversations were way too stupid for it to be just an illusion.
So what were the alternatives? Maybe he had fallen off and he was stuck in the game, like a protagonist straight from an Isekai story.
‘Doubt it.’
The range between the headset and the computer was not that great. He’d have been disconnected by the time he fell down three stories.
There might be a chance that someone had already seen him,his parents dragging him down to safety.
Upon giving it some more thought, he shook his head.
Even less likely. The headset would have instantly booted him out the game had his body been disturbed.
Also, more likely mom and dad would have removed the headset and slapped me silly.
It was probably a matter of time before emergency services were called and they would come to break down his door.
He just sat and waited some more.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Signs of dawn had begun to show themselves. He was still sitting on the bench, now bent over with his head in his hands.
The time was now 5:30 am. Why hasn’t he been disconnected by now? Even weirder, the game hadn’t sent him the usual warning to take a break.
After five hours, the game would remind players of their time. After four more hours, it would forcefully boot lingering players. Though this was an adjustable feature, Sparrow hadn’t made any changes on this new account, and so still had the default minimum time enabled.
Sparrow opened up his menu and checked his in-game timer, confirming his five hours time elapsed. While he had the menu open, he looked for the log off button. It was there, where it had always been.
He looked for any oddities in the menu, finding nothing. He hovered his finger over the log off button and hesitated.
I’ll wait another 4 hours. By then, the game should forcefully boot me off no matter what.
So whatever purgatory he was in, it would soon come to an end. Possibly. He closed the menu and sat some more.
Sparrow had stopped bracing himself for death. His mind wandered to his family, his old friends, and Cassi. He wondered what their reactions would be to his death.
His parents would be devastated of course. He was painfully aware of how much he would hurt them.
His little brother would definitely hate him, but he knew that Robin would eventually come to regret not being there for Sparrow.
He played no part in the way he felt. Sparrow doubts that things would have changed if Robin talked to him more. It would have delayed his suicide a little bit at best.
Sparrow could imagine the pain his empty room would bring his family. A room frozen in time, occupied by a ghost.
His old friends might jump for joy at the news. Sparrow had ruined their lives. He couldn't imagine his death bringing them anything but happiness.
If there was an afterlife, he wondered how Cassi would react if she saw him. It was possible that she had been watching Sparrow and was already well aware of what he had done.
Would she forgive Sparrow? Be angry with him? If there was a heaven or hell, would he even be given the chance to see her?
Part of this was for her. This would be his repentance.
He wanted her forgiveness, or at the very least, the chance to make amends.
Sparrow had tried once before. But the last time he reached out to her, she had taken her own life.
He didn’t know if the message arrived before or after, or whether she read it or not. The idea that Cassi had seen the notification, that it was what had caused her to go through with it, made him feel a knot in the pit of his stomach.
Sparrow recalled the morning he received the news. He had woken up after only a few hours of sleep, waiting for Cassi to respond. He left his room and walked into the hallway. His mother was crying, sobs interrupted by small hiccuping coughs, tissues littering the table in front of her. His father had a strong hand on her shoulder, similarly somber but doing his best to comfort. As they looked up at him, their expressions gave it all away. It was like they had lost a child. As they confirmed his suspicions, all he could do was laugh.
He fell into a downward spiral. The days that followed were the worst days of his life.
This cycle, endlessly sinking in the same bad memories, he had grown sick of it. It got to the point where…
Sparrow realized that he had finally taken the steps to break that cycle. He laid back into the bench, and wished his life would end already.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
It was 10:54 am. The in-game sun was out. Sparrow got up from his bench and began to make his way out of the park.
As he walked into the city proper, players hastened here and there. He paid no attention to the people around him.
Eventually he found himself back in the city square. In the middle of the square was a grand fountain. Players began spawning all around, now that a new day had broken in real life.
He checked his in game timer. He had been logged on for over 10 hours.
He began to giggle. Giggles turned into hearty laughter. Shortly after it turned into hysterical cackling. He noticed that people were staring at him. He walked up to a player put off by his outburst.
“Hey, can you see me!?”
The man was startled and stepped back.
“Uh, yeah I can see you. Are you good man?”
Sparrow turned to a couple.
“Can you see me?”
“Ye-yes we can,” a girl said as her boyfriend pulled her away.
He looked down at his hands.
“THEN WHAT THE F&%^#!?!?” The in-game censorship system kicked in. “Why is this happening to me?”
Sparrow suddenly reached out towards the onlookers and they stepped away from his hand, like he had the plague.
Hysteria got a hold on him and his head spun. He stumbled and fell back on his bottom.
The other players stood there bewildered. A few of them had begun recording him with their menu cameras.
Sparrow laid down, limbs sprawled out and laughed some more.
He looked up into the sky.
‘What is going on?’
While it was funny to him that he was still alive, he didn’t want it to stay that way.
Sparrow opened his menu then hit the quit button.
[Are you sure you want to quit?]
[YES/NO]
After taking another deep breath he hit YES.
The prompt remained the same. He pressed YES over and over again. Nothing changed.
Sparrow closed the menu and laid there. He looked up at the people watching him and raised a fist. A pixelated blob appeared where his middle finger should have been.