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Getting Hard (Old Version)
Icing Topped Eclairs

Icing Topped Eclairs

“Eclairs, don’t move for a bit so that I can cast my spell on you,” Amanda said.

I noticed that her earlier buff has ran out so I stopped swimming around them and stayed put, manipulating my tail so that I could keep the upper half of my body above water. The buff made me aim faster and shoot more powerful arrows. Buff was the correct term to use, right? I was still trying to memorize all these jargons in gaming. I knew that a buff meant some kind of beneficial status.

Amanda’s hands glowed while she was sitting on her giant furry pet that was swimming beside me. Some kind of monster otter or beaver she brought along. She said, “I suck at casting. I’m so slow. I know my boyfriend is annoyed at me being so slow when he brings me along to fight but he doesn’t say it.”

“Thanks, Amanda,” I said. I didn’t bother to comment on her relationship with her boyfriend. Lately, she always goes on with 'boyfriend this' and 'boyfriend that' when our topic was something remotely related to their relationship. Maybe they were having problems? I could go full Herald on this and analyze her way of talking. Then I remembered what I said when Herald gave me his shirt. I exhaled to keep me from punching my stupid self. 

And for the record, that was 'his' shirt. If he had bought it my size then I would have considered it as my shirt.  

I aimed my bow towards the sea and waited for more flying fish monsters to show up. There were plenty of birds flying close to the water. Those level one and two birds barely gave me any experience. They were the prey of my prey. One of the meter-long fishes with wings broke the surface of the water, shooting up with its mouth wide open, chomping down on a passing bird.

I waited for the fish to slowly glide back to the water with the bird in its mouth. It passed my sights and I released my ice arrow. I followed it up with more arrows in rapid succession using my skill [Ice Volley]. A slight increase in my experience told me that I killed it as its body fell to the water. 

“You’re not going to get the loot?” Ellie asked. She was sitting on a large rock by the sea a couple of meters away from me, playing an instrument that looked like an ornate ukulele carved from some weird monster bone.

“Nah, I’m just leveling for now. I want to level as much as possible while the two of you are helping me," I said. With the two of them casting spells to help me, I was leveling at twice the speed I level on my own. "By the way, thanks for playing a song to attract those weak monsters for me to kill.”

“No worries. I’ll help you level. If you want, I could go swimming with you. I really like the underwater kingdom of your race. There are more monsters down there, anyway.”

Amanda waved her hands. “Hey, people! Don’t leave me up here. I don’t know how to swim. Maybe I could swim, but not down to your place. I’ll run out of air.”

“Don’t you have a spell that could make you breathe underwater?” I said to Amanda. This past week, Ellie would sometimes accompany me while leveling in the bottom of the sea. Ellie, with her race, the Danube, could swim for long periods of time. They could hold their breath for about half an hour. Their community by the sea often traded with the mermaid kingdom.

“I know that there are those kinds of spells but I don’t know where to get them,” Amanda said. "Maybe I could get my boyfriend to buy me an amulet that gives that effect." Then she sat up straight and continued complaining. “I’ve traveled so far to get to this place with my pets in tow,” she pointed at her other pets waiting for us by the seashore, “and you’re just going to leave me here?”

“Relax,” Ellie said. “I’ll bring up plenty of monsters for Eclairs to kill here. No need to go underwater.”

"Why did you choose that race, anyway?" Amanda said. "A mermaid? Do you transform into a human like 'The Little Mermaid'?"

"Nope. But I can transform temporarily into a Gorgon when I reach level twenty."

"A Gorgon? So you're like those mermaids in the movies that turn ugly when they have already seduced the man they want to eat?"

"Kinda. That's why I chose the name Thessalonike. According to legends, she's the immortal sister of Alexander the Great. She doesn't seduce men, but she asks sailors she meet if her brother is alive. If you get the answer wrong, then she transforms into a Gorgon and attacks your ship." I shot another flying fish. I didn't use any spells, just a normal arrow. I was saving my mana for a stronger spell.  

Ellie said, "So what's the correct answer?" She stopped playing her instrument. I knew she was prepared to attack if I couldn't kill the fish in time. It was heading straight for us. 

"He lives and reigns and conquers the world," I said as I continued shooting at the fish. It died before reaching me. 

Another monster flying fish shot up in the air. I raised my bow and a red target appeared in my vision. I was supposed to line up the sight with my intended target, taking into consideration the time my arrow has to reach my target. Obviously, that was not how bows worked in real life. A virtual sight does not magically appear. I didn’t even know how one was supposed to aim a real bow.

My bow sparked as I prepared to use a lightning arrow. Amanda cast another kind of spell on me to make my next attack have twice the power. A lightning arrow cost a lot of mana so I rarely used it. A bolt of lightning left my bow and killed the fish in one shot.

“Yes,” I said, pumping my fist in the air.

“Nice. You can one hit kill them already,” Ellie said. She changed her music to something that made my mana recharge faster. There were already plenty of flying fishes for me to kill so she didn't need to sing to call for more.

I didn't have money to buy mana orbs in our kingdom to replenish my mana quickly because I spent all my money in buying a new bow. Ellie offered me money so that I could buy more items but I declined her offer. I wanted didn't want too much handouts even though I was just a beginner in the world of role-playing games. But I was perfectly fine with them helping me out in leveling.

I continued one hitting the flying fishes with my lightning arrow. 

"This is getting boring," Amanda said. "I'm not complaining or anything-"

"You are complaining," Ellie said.

"Well, I can't be like you who's fine with sitting on a rock playing music."

"I don't even know the song I'm playing," Ellie said, "But my fingers are moving on their own. I'm trying to memorize it. I'll try playing this in the real world with my guitar."

"Great. You're studying music. Eclairs is levelling up. And what I'm supposed to do here?"

I smiled as Amanda continued grumbling. I leveled up. Wow, that was fast. Opening my skill tree, I wondered what skill I should go for next. I ended up choosing a skill that made me shoot two arrows at once. Perhaps this was a good time to stop playing. I wanted to continue but Amanda was ranting about how her pets wanted to rest. It wasn't like anyone told her to bring them along. 

I said, "Let's meet up. We could go to that new cafe that opened up near Amanda's place. My treat since you guys are very helpful."

This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

"Huh, payment for my troubles," Amanda said. "We really need to find some way for you to travel on land."

"I can actually crawl around on land for about an hour before I, um, wither and die," I said. "And I don't want to crawl!"

"Maybe we could make you a carriage or something."

Ellie added, "And put a tub of water on it so that she will be fine."

"Let's get going already," I said, pushing the image of a mermaid on a carriage being drawn by a horse out of my mind. "If we don't log off now, my offer to treat you guys won't stand. We meet in an hour. Amanda don't be late."

----------------------------------------

After an hour, we met up at the café. Ellie and Amanda were already there.

“Wow, Amanda arrived before me,” I said with a grin. “That’s new.” I could have arrived earlier but I spent some time deciding what I wanted to wear. Unnatural for me to do that, I know. Maybe the game was affecting me.

“Wow, what’s up with your outfit?” Amanda said, mimicking my tone. “That’s newer. I don’t know if that makes sense.”

“What did you do with the real Eclairs?” Ellie said. “The Eclairs I knew would never wear something like this.”

I looked down on the clothes I was wearing. I wore the oversized shirt Herald bought at the Nornyr Online convention. It was too big for me, obviously, but I felt like I could make it work. Since the shoulders were too wide, I just adjusted it so that it became a sort of a one off shoulder dress.

Yes, it was long enough to be considered a dress, considering my height. I even wore a belt so that it followed the shape of my body. Herald was tall, and I was…not so tall. Okay, fine. I was short. But I couldn’t just wear it as a dress because it was kind of a short dress. I felt like it would show too much skin, so I just wore black leggings in addition to the shirt now turned dress. 

“Haha, very funny, guys,” I said. “Am I not allowed to change my style every now and then?”

“Do you even have a style? You hate any patterns on your clothes. You always wear semi-casual even in the most casual occasions.” Amanda gestured to my shirt design. “And what’s that supposed to be, huh? A centaur? Are you in a rebellious phase, my child?” Then she activated her WeeCee. “You look hot, by the way. I’ll take a photo of you.”

“Hey, don’t do that,” I said, moving her hand away.

"Come on, do a seductive pose," she said. "An off shoulder, huh? We should document this rare occasion for posterity!"  

“What is that design, though?” Ellie said, taking a closer look at my shirt.

“It’s a Mardukryon,” I said. “One of the races in Nornyr.” I had an easy time finding it on the internet. I just had to type centaur character and look for it. It was the only one who had so many horns among the centaurs. I bet this was the race Herald chose. He was talking to me about horses the last time. I tried searching for a race that has horse parts, or at least hooves, but there were too many. But now, I was sure that this was his character. Why else would he buy a shirt with this design?

“And why would you have that shirt?”

"It is really not like you to buy a piece of clothing with any design on it." 

“Um.” 

“Any explanation, missy?” Amanda said, narrowing her eyes. "Any juicy secrets?"

“Well…it’s a cool shirt. And—”

“Let me guess,” Amanda said. “Your boss gave it to you?”

The normally calm and collected Ellie giggled. She was always excited for situations like this. This was her weakness, gossip about the relationship of her friends. Then she waited what my response would be. There was no lying to them. They knew me too well.

“Yes,” I said in resignation. “But this is not a gift. Whatever you guys are thinking is wrong. This is not like he bought it for me. He bought it while he was in the Nornyr Online Convention.”

“That’s so cute,” Amanda said.

“Let me finish,” I said. “He bought it there, in his size. So, this is his shirt. And this is not a gift. You know that thing he usually does where he dumps the nonsense stuff he buys on me. He wants to keep his place bare and simple. Like some kind of psycho.”

Amanda slowly said, “Let me get this straight. You’re wearing his shirt. That’s not a gift? You’re borrowing it?”

“Essentially. Yes. I'm keeping it for him.”

Ellie giggled again.

“You know that that sounds more incriminating than if you just said that the shirt was a gift?” Amanda said tapping the table.

I jerked up at the sudden realization. I could feel my cheeks burning. I turned away from them to look out the window with a frown on my face.

“You’re slipping up, girl. Just tell me what’s going on between the two of you.”

 Ellie said, "We won't judge. Or maybe we will."

“Nothing, I swear. It would be improper for me…because, uh, you know.”

Ellie piped in, “Maybe he left that shirt when he visited your apartment? Why else would you have his shirt?”

Amanda gasped and put her hand over her mouth in fake surprise. “Morals, my child. What happened to the prim and proper Eclairs?”

“Ellie!” I protested. “No, he didn’t come to my apartment. I haven’t even brought my past boyfriend to my apartment. This is really nothing. We only have a professional relationship, okay?”

“Boss and secretary,” Amanda said looking at me with a wicked grin. “Sounds like the start of the plot to some por—”

“Hey, it’s not like that at all,” I said. I remembered that stupid thing I said again. 

“Maybe,” Amanda said, “but you’re beautiful, maybe he thought of you as more than his secretary?” Amanda gestured with her hands. "Attractive secretary. Hint. Hint."

Actually, he thinks of me as less than a secretary. More of a peasant in his kingdom. I shook my head. “Nah, Herald is not like that at all.” Which was the truth.

“A gentleman?” Ellie said. “Just like in those magazines and interviews.”

I resisted the urge to tell them what he really was. They wouldn’t believe me anyway. Like Herald said, if there was a national poll, people would believe him, not me. I just shrugged because I didn’t want the topic to continue.

But Amanda wasn’t about to give up. “Men can be a gentleman and still think of some…things, about a woman. And look at you, Eclairs. I’m sure many men have a crush on you. It’s not like your boss wouldn’t appreciate your beauty or something. That’s normal for guys to appreciate beauty.”

Normal was the operative word. Herald is some kind of high functioning sociopath. “I’m sure he isn’t even attracted to me. He’s very professional." Sort of professional. I told the story of my attempt to make a sexual joke to prove that Herald wasn’t someone who would flirt with women just because they were beautiful. That was his only redeeming quality that he didn't fake.

But it didn’t have the reaction I expected from my friends.

“Girl. Are you on drugs? Was that a feeble attempt at flirting?” Amanda said.

“If we were there and had those score cards, I would have given that a score of negative ten,” Ellie said.

Amanda fanned herself and said, “I can feel the awkwardness seeping through my being. Geez, what is wrong with you? Why did you say that, anyway? Were you really hitting on him?”

“I wasn’t hitting on him, I swear,” I said. “I just thought that we were close enough, as friends, mind you, that I could make a joke about something like that.”

“A boss punishing his secretary about violating the dress code?” Amanda pretended to choke. “Maybe I should buy you a book on flirting.”

“I wasn’t flirt—”

Ellie cut in and said, “And why would you say that you were close as friends?”

“Well,” I said, racking my brains for a sensible explanation. I must admit I wasn’t really aware of what I was doing at that time. Maybe I was just so annoyed at him that I tried to gain the upper hand by attempting to make him feel awkward about the situation. My womanly charms weren’t enough to intimidate him, I jokingly thought.  

“Well?”

“Well, he was sharing with me his hobby. I know he’s playing Nornyr, but he’s not telling anyone because it doesn’t look professional of him. I found it cute that he bought this shirt for his hobby. So I thought that we were close since he was sharing a secret with me,” I said. Note that Herald never told me that he was playing the game. But I was sure that he was.

Amanda sighed. "Do I need to give you some pointers on how to hit on your boss without looking unprofessional?"

I put my hands on the table. "Okay, enough about this. Let's order."