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Getting Hard (Old Version)
Chapter 6: The Name That Will Resound Throughout the World

Chapter 6: The Name That Will Resound Throughout the World

Follow me, I will show you the Mardukryon.

“No need. I don’t care if it’s as ugly as your collective mothers. Well, if you have mothers or whatever. Appearance does not really matter to me.”

The Dalkanus sniggered. Although, I was not quite sure if it was sniggering since it doesn’t have a mouth to laugh with nor does it make any sounds but just communicated with me inside my head. Would you like to overlay your facial features onto your character?

“Yeah, sure. Why not.”

Now, it will really look ugly.

The cheeks, or what I assumed to be cheeks, of the Dalkanus was raised as if it was smiling at me. It was an eerie expression that I just stared at it rather than respond. Was this NPC attempting to joke with me?

Lastly, before we send you out, pick a name by which we will call you. A name that others will know you by as you tread upon the world we have created, living your second life.

A keyboard appeared before me. Should I use the name I used before back when I played games? I typed out my awesome name.

The Dalkanus peered over my shoulder, leaning down, bending his huge frame like a snake coiling down. Major Donginator?

I could have sworn that the Dalkanus was laughing even without a mouth. Or maybe it was having a stroke. “Yes, a majestic name that was formerly feared by weaker beings. I really wanted to emphasize to my enemies what they were facing." I scartched my chin and said, "Nah, that’s inappropriate. I should choose something that would suit my stature as a responsible, mature adult.” I deleted 'Major Donginator'. My fingers hovered over the virtual keyboard, trying to think of a name.

Why did you delete it? We thought that it was an amusing name. 

I smiled as I thought of the perfect name for my tank. The Dalkanus behind me was doing that weird heaving thing that I thought to be laughter. My fingers slowly typed out the name fit for the gods. 

Heraldic Hard-on?

"I just think that people should be sufficiently warned that they should bring lube when facing me," I said to the Dalkanus. We stared at each other for a few seconds. "Ah, this is just a joke. You won’t censor this or something, wouldn’t you? ‘Hard on’ can mean a lot of things depending how you use it in a sentence,” I said. “Let’s see…French bread is hard on the outside and soft on the inside.”

You keep the name that you have chosen, human consciousness.

“Yey.”

Heraldic Hard-on, in the context of French bread.

“Exactly.”

The Dalkanus raised itself to its full height. Human consciousness, you have chosen the race Mardukryon and have taken up the name of Heraldic Hard-on. Are you ready to begin your journey?

“Again, two questions. What’s the end game here? And why are you doing this? I mean, you said you’re this awesome existence existing for nearly all of existence. So why bother with this when we’re probably merely a speck in your lifespan?”

Ah, we were right to judge you as interesting. Others of your kind would have run along without asking those questions. What’s the end game? Well, you have to reach this island to open the next stage of this game. You’ll just have to wait until then to have your question answered.

As for your second question. Why are we doing this? We have administered this same test to other consciousness across this universe. We have asked them a question. A question we hope that can be answered by giving them a chance at another life. Ripping them out of their three-dimensional thinking. 

“And what is that question? Oh, powerful and great one? Two, three… collective. Whatever.”

The Dalkanus leaned in once again. Its face was bigger than my body. Contorting its facial features into a smirk, it whispered condescendingly in my head. How can you justify your existence to us?

“What kind of question is that?”

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That’s another question, isn’t it? The time for questions is over human consciousness. It is time to assume your new identity the Heraldic Hard-on of the Mardukryon.

“I don’t know why, but I feel like kicking your wispy ass. I hope that you’ll be the final boss of this island. Wait for me, Dalk…Anus.” I was suddenly pulled back, straight out the tower full of creatures, down the hallway, out of the temple and over the island.

Speeding off once again like a bullet, I beheld the freezing landscape below, only now it was covered with grey fog. Maybe it was a game mechanic where unexplored areas cannot be seen yet. I was suddenly over water, leaving behind the lands of ice. Soon, the white outline disappeared over the horizon.

I passed several islands that were all clouded over, with a monster or two slipping over the clouds then diving back down. I didn’t have to time to closely scrutinize the wonders I passed by because I was going so fast, I was over the mainland after a minute. Flying faster and faster, I passed by mountains, valleys, forests, and deserts. I even zipped by some cities and towns. Looks like I’m far away as fuck from the goal.

The cloud covered areas became less and less. Perhaps I am nearing my starting point. I slowed down and came to a stop at the side of a tall, snow-covered mountain, falling onto the snow covered cliff below me.

There was a sudden jolt, and then there I was, at the edge of the cliff, staring down the mountain. Trees covered with snow covered the slope. The Mardukryons probably were here?

As I started to turn to look for my starting village, I noticed something odd. Looking down, I let out a yelp of surprise, but instead of a yelp, I let of a growl. I had four legs! I examined my body, craning my neck to look at my back. “I’m a fucking centaur!”

Not really a centaur, since a centaur is half-man, half -horse. I’m more of half a humanoid monster, half another kind of monster with four legs and hooves. It was a unique experience, something that I haven’t experienced in VR porn. Having four legs and actually feeling as each one of them treaded on the soft snow was remarkable. However, when I focused on walking, I tripped. Its better just to let the four legs do their thing.

I spent about five minutes trotting around the snow. Such a childish act, I know, but it was so awesome. My mind went back to the interview I watched while I was in the hospital. I wondered what Rhysand would feel in a giant’s body.

After satisfying myself, I studied my body. My skin was something akin to cooling lava, or smoldering charcoal. Mostly black, some grey, but there were cracks glowing a fiery tinge. My lower was more interesting. Pure white fur covered my lower body. My upper body didn’t feel the cold since I don’t even really have skin, so how could have I felt temperature, however, my lower body could feel slightly warm, even with all the snow, because of my fur.

My legs were quite muscular, even thicker than the heavy horse breeds. I pawed the ground with my front hoof while grinning like an idiot. My beautiful white fur flowed up and down. It was mesmerizing to watch that I probably spent another five minutes just observing my own fur.

“Now to go find where I should start my shit,” I said. My voice became guttural and unearthly. Rearing up on my hind legs, I let out and awesome roar while thumping my awesome magma chest and then descended into the forest in an awesome gallop.

It was not long before the forest cleared, opening up to a small village. A wall of tall strong timber enclosed a collection of houses, at least, that was what I saw through their gate. There were some Mardukryons milling around outside the walls and a couple of armed and armored fellow stood at the gate.

“Yep, it’s our village alright.” Why did I spawn outside the village? Perhaps, even at this early stage, I’m already given a choice to do my own thing. However, I suspect that beginner’s quests were given inside the village, and possibly even a tutorial, if there was one. I’m not a retard who would skip tutorial so I trotted to the village.

What worried me was that there was a ton of furballs, about three times the size of my head, between me and the village. They didn’t do anything to me while I passed them, though. As I focused on one of them, something appeared on top of it in white lettering. Numbering almost fifty, the Mirdabons just rolled about, never bothering me nor the Mardukryon village.

As I neared near the village, a young Mardukryon came out of the village.

“There you are,” it called out to me. I wasn’t able to deduce based from its features or voice whether it was a boy or a girl. For all I know, Mardukryons  have more than one sex. “The elder is calling for you,” the little pony said.

“And thus, Heraldic Hard-on, starts his journey,” I said as I entered the village.