“Why?” Gerald wondered at the creature.
“Why do you exist and why?” He repeated.
Gerald had examined the seemingly inconspicuous item on the floor.
BLUE BREAD SLICE
LEVEL 2 51/600
STATS:
STRENGTH: 1
VITALITY: 8
WILLPOWER: 69
INTELLIGENCE: 0
MAGIC: 0
SKILLS:
CAMOUFLAGE LVL 2
OWNER: DUNGEON OF MILD BLUES.
“Do I punch it or… eat it? Looks poisonous.”
Gerald picked up the bread and held it with two fingers pinched, he turned it around to look around it, it had a back, under it there were small blue shards, upon closer inspection from Gerald he noticed a shard was a guitar pick.
Gerald shook his head and threw the bread at the rocky wall.
You have slain Blue Bread Slice lvl 2
Exp: 200(230)
Level up. Please choose a class from the select list.
Classes:
Chef,
Iron Chef,
Coal Chef,
Nude Chef,
Hot Dog Chef,
Nudist,
Nudist Chef,
Outworlder Chef (RARE),
Lover,
Lover Chef,
A Loving Chef,
Disciplined Chef,
Risk taking Chef,
Trekker,
Tourist,
Fast-food Chef,
Pussy;
Yes, there is a difference.
“Do you want me to ask another question?”
…
“Oops!” Gerald laughed and started to mutter to himself, it was as he debated with himself about picking a class, but honestly he was thinking something along the likes of ‘Fuck this world’ ‘Suck a fat dick’ ‘Go fuck yourself.’
After his insane babble he came to a conclusion, he would choose the rare option, he felt it was more extravagant than the other options such as Nude Chef or Trekker and obviously Pussy, though he assumed Pussy would be a perfect escape artist if it didn’t make him a cat or perhaps that option would work too as escape artist.
Wow congratulations! You chose the worst option and now need to prove me wrong!
A comment from the system and with quick-wit he responded with a shout “Fuck you!”
Truly a great person.
Level up!
+5 to all stats, Skills gained: Pancake flip, Perfect Otherworldly Sear
“Pancake flip?!? Go fuck yourself.”
Outworlder Chef… um… class stats?
CLASS INFO: Outworlder Chef
+5 to all stats per level up
Two skills per fifth level
And so Gerald has finally leveled up in this new experience of a new world, with fantastical creatures, grill stealers and stuff he can never ever do. Now, back on track to the plot, Gerald continued his dungeon diving experience, after a huge fifty meters of walking in a dim lit cave of blue he stumbled onto the next monster!
“Why. Why?” He asked himself, for you see, Gerald had so many questions to ask and so many questions to be answered in previous blatant foreshadowing.
Blue loaf.
Gerald kicked a pebble away as he sprang towards the blue loaf that was seated comfortably on the stone floor, he would kick the ever loving shit and plot twist! He didn’t stumble.
This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.
Wow holy shit, have I ever been this fast?
No, you have never been that fast, you just leveled up.
Gerald never expected that it would retaliate, after he kicked it further into the cave a shower of small pebbles hit him that annoyed him. He swatted his hands back and forth trying to stop the shower of pebbles that came as a stream from the darkness.
He slowly creeped back as he continued to swat the stream, it soon came to a halt.
You have slain Blue Loaf level one.
Exp: 100(100)
“What? Why did I kill it?” Gerald said. He crouched and inspected the pebbles that hit him, it was bread crumbs, moist blue bread crumbs.
Gerald imagined it had killed itself from shooting its own mass at him in a desperate effort.
So Gerald walked on close to the wall avoiding stepping on the bread crumbs that he noticed felt too moist on his bare feet. Better to walk on a pebbly floor then a wet feeling of moist Lego’s, at least the pebbles weren’t sharp Gerald thought.
He came to the Blue Loaf, crouched and ripped it open to inspect once more.
Loot: Dry husk of Blue Loaf (Useless if you are not in to nutritional value, try eating it. I dare you.)
“Go fuck yourself.” Gerald said, he had decided to always respond to comments like that with ‘Go fuck yourself.’
Gerald threw it away and continued his walk.
“I just want my fucking grill back, what the fuck would you even need it for!” Gerald said, he was excessively using a variation of fuck in all his thoughts and comments, what a bad habit this kid had.
“Iz that right?” Said a smooth NYC accented voice.
“Yeah! …What?” Gerald questioned once again.
“Aight my man, grab my hand, I ought to show ya what I’ve been doin’” The smooth voice said, a man emerged from the side wall in front of Gerald, a black cloaked man in a dark cape with a flowing wild hair stroked back was all Gerald could see, the man extended his hand towards Gerald.
“What’s that’s smell.” The caped man said.
“Can I even fucking question why?” Gerald questioned.
“Nah man, you see, I wanna be dragging you anyways, cause you’ve been killing all my soul! But you proved me a wrong, you’ve got some real soul.” He extended on the real part.
“I’m confused?” Gerald questioned once more.
“Nah man, you’ve oughta see what I got cookin’.”
Gerald did not question what he did not understand and grabbed hold of the man’s hand, it was cold, icicle cold and boom he was in another place, a kitchen. There are two marble counter tops paralleled to each other in the wide, lit and open cave, one had two metal sinks in it, modern sinks. The other was a gas oven, MODERN gas oven with cooking plates on top of each other. On the side of the oven was a table for cutting.
“Welcome to my humble abode, you know what I’m sayin’” The black man said as he touched Gerald from behind, on his shoulder, not his ass. Gerald startled in a slight jump at his touch while he was transfixed at the MODERN kitchen.
“Calm down man, calm down. Just a teleport…” the man tried to calm down Gerald. Gerald turned around towards the black dressed man that smiled wide, what was even more shocking is his skin color, he was black.
“Fangs?” Gerald asked.
The black velvet dressed black man with a black cloak and fangs flinched at his question, he turned visibly sad for a moment and Gerald did not miss it.
“Yeah… you see, I’m a vamp.” He said.
“It’s alright dude, everybody is different.”
“Yeah yeah everyone says that man.”
…
“I hate em, blood sucking fangs, you know why? Cause I ain’t even got no soul,”
…
“It’s gone.” He said, the black velvet dressed black vampire man with a black cloak and fangs slumped down and sat down into a leather recliner that appeared with a pop behind him, same thing happened to Gerald, a recliner appeared behind him and he sat down too.
“Why are you sad that you don’t have a soul? Is it because of religious reasons?” Gerald said and crossed his eyes while setting his none-existing glasses with one finger.
“No man, no stuff as god. You know why I took your grill?”
“Continue.” Gerald said, “Yeah so uhm, your grill is special, it has a soul… and uh… your grill… its very special in the way… you can create stuff if you have the proper ingredients, and I’ve been using it.” He said. “For what purpose? Continue.”
“Well… I have some souls that is not mine and is mine, and I’ve been infusing ‘em to create new stuff to figure out if I can uhm… create a soul in me.”
“Why do you want a soul?” Gerald asked, “I can’t sing…”
“My name is Gerald, please continue and elaborate for me.”
“My name is James. You want the long story or the short one?” He asked, “Long story if you can bring me water, I am very thirsty.” An oak table popped in between them, jug of water with lemon slices in it and a glass on top of a very neat lace tablecloth. Gerald poured a glass of water and drank half of it, he would drink half again in 5 minutes to maximize the kidney elimination efficiency, no chugging for young Gerald.
“So… I was born in Harlem in the fifties – a place nobody here knows exist – and grew up with two parents and a younger sibling, before I turned 10 I started playing guitar with two friends of mine and we started a band when I turned 16.” He said.
“I have to stop you there for a moment, James. I could not help but ask if you grew up on earth? You’re an outworlder? How long have you been here James?” Gerald asked.
“How do you know?” James asked.
“Well… I am too an outworlder, like you, but I arrived yesterday, I think. Ahem, it was 2019 I died. No questions yet, please continue.”
“Our blues band played a lot of small gigs, school and café’s. But our big break was when we started playing in Bradley’s, it was the biggest jazz club and we were scouted, some big wig label took us in and before we could sign I died, not literally, I turned vampire. A woman called silk bit me cause she liked me but god messed up, he took it literal that I died and, by his words, shanghaied me by mistake. Since I had no soul nothing happened except those words ‘I shanghaied you by mistake, sorry.’ And so I’m here. I believe I am the only vampire that lives in this world, I have never touched a sapient being with my fangs by my moral code so don’t worry Gerald.” James said as he looked down on his fidgeting thumbs.
“*hic*I understand… you need soul to sing blues right? *hic* so sad, you died so young to never realize your dream right? So sad *hic*” Gerald said while sobbing a river.
“I’ll help you! I will help you get soul!” Gerald shouted. Gerald sprang on top of his feet and cleared the table in a sloppy rush.
Gerald started drumming the table in a slow 2-1 pattern, “Get your Guitar James!”
Then he started singing.
James flinched as Gerald started drumming but he listened and magically popped his Guitar, he started following the rhythm of his drumming and started playing an amazing guitar riff
♪ Why the fuck is there vampires on earth
What the fuck am I even supposed to do
Fuck god and fuck this world
I just want my fucking grill back
Go fuck yourself
♪
Then James played a mind shattering guitar solo that went something like krStttUUviiiiil looOOoomTsaaaaviblyblblbliiii
Gerald shouted across the table to James “SING YOU HEART OUT BRO!”
♪
Buttercup dreams about happiness
Flowing to a heart
Electrified by clingy pollen
Breathe, don’t let darkness flutter you
Away~
You’ve been captured
By her beauty,
Death
♪
A walking corpse came out of a cupboard and started slamming down on a synthesizer hanged from his neck.
Bibibiiiriririiiskrtpoooviiivivivi
The black velvet dressed black vampire man with a black cloak and fangs playing his guitar had a sad look on his face. His eyes started beaming white that slowly enveloped him in a tight hug, Gerald did not miss the chance and flipped over the table, broke a leg and jammed it into the right side of James’s torso where Gerald assumed was his heart.
James made a small whimper noise as his heart was pierced.
“MY FUCKING GRILL, YOU STOLE MY FUCKING GRILL!” Gerald shouted.
“...why? Cough” James said and coughed out blood while still in the white shroud.
“My,” Gerald said, Gerald drove the stake further into James with his hand “fucking grill!” Gerald hurried with his actions as the zombie stumbled itself across the floor inhibited by the synthesizer, breaking another leg and slamming it across the zombie’s head repeatedly, not effective. Gerald pulled out his huge wiener so it would drop onto the zombie, critical, the zombie cannot move and could only wiggle at its fate just as Gerald once did when arriving into the new world.
The white cloak dissipated and a now James dressed in white with a stake driven into his heart appeared slumped down in his chair. Gerald suspected that he kept his soul because the god made that stupid mistake and never truly was a vampire, the bloodsucking of humanoids which James withdrew from furthered his suspicions and in the end Gerald had committed cold blooded murder.
You have slain James the Day Walker recently turned Human lvl 1.
Exp 100(100)
Acting skill unlocked.
Good job, Gerald the Outworlder Chef.