It was Friday, two days since the last chapter. I had just finished working at my job, and I was about to ask Attractiveguy McBuffDude out on a date. I was nervous, afraid, concerned, edgy, fussy, hesitant, hysterical, irritable, jittery, jumpy, shaky, shy, skittish, spooked, tense, timid, uneasy, uptight, volatile, weak, a basket case, bothered, distressed, disturbed, fidgety, fitful, flustered, high-strung, nervy, neurotic, on edge, overwrought, querulous, restive, ruffled, sensitive, shrinking, snappish, solicitous, taut, timorous, troubled, twitchy, unrestful, unstrung, upset, wired, and worried. Did he actually like me? It was 5:01, one minute before 5:02, and one minute after 5:00. I was very nervous.
He walked out of the very tall office building wearing a 3 piece suit that was made up of 4 pieces of suit. “Hey,” He articulated in a deep, attractive, saxy, hunky voice, “What are you doing here?”
“Well, I got off from work, and then I walked over to your office building. Anyway, I was wondering if you wanted to join me for dinner tonight over at Club A Steakhouse, which the author found on ‘TripAdvisor’ by searching Best places to eat in NYC.”
“I would love to.” He spoke, winking at me. “What time?” He questioned.
“How’s 6:00?”
“Sounds good.” He stated and walked away.
I called Cubey. “How did it go?” She asked curiously.
“It went great! I think he likes me too.”
“Shocking. You’re only the most attractive girl in all of NYC, as dubbed by THYME Magazine.”
“I’m only a former supermodel. Anyways, I’ll call you after the date.”
“Talk to you later.”
“Bye.”
“Bye.”
“See ya.”
“Bye.”
“Bye.”
“Bye.”
After I hung up, I called a yellow taxi cab like the ones you see in those sitcoms you see about guys hanging out in NYC and not doing anything (No, not Seinfeld. No, not Friends either.) I paid the cabbie a couple bucks, and arrived at Club A Steakhouse at around 5:45. I waited on a bench outside out on the side of the restaurant outside. At around 5:54, Attractiveguy McBuffdude arrived.
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“Hey.” He said attractively.
“Hey,” I said romantically.
“Hey.” He said back attractively.
“Hey,” I said back romantically.
“Will you two go in the goddamned restaurant already?” A heckler yelled on the side of the street.
We went into the restaurant and sat down at a table with candles, roses, and boxes of Mott's apple juice on the table.
“So, what do you do for fun?” I asked askingly.
“I’m quite interested in the art of soap carving.”
“Oh wow, that’s interesting,” I spoke, even though I was very clearly not interested in the matter.
“I take care of a lot of plants in my 5-square-foot apartment.”
“Doesn’t that get crowded?”
“You get used to it.”
Suddenly, an alarm rang out very loudly. People started screaming and running away from the restaurant, including us. I got outside, but I lost Attractiveguy in the rush.
A man in a comically large chef hat came out and yelled “It’s all clear. One of the Line Cooks burned a salad.” I went back to our table, but Attractiveguy McBuffdude never got back.
A Mysterious Van In NYC
Present Day
Yo, what up, it’s ya boy Attractiveguy McBuffdude here. I’m taking over the story because the author felt like it.
Anyway, I was in this mysterious white van when Romancenovel Protagonist texted me.
(Pretend the dialogue below is text messages, we had a very low budget for this book)
Hey, Where are you?
IDK
I think I got kidnapped LOL
Oh LMAO
Suddenly, a sudden sound suddened. A mic crackled, and a mysterious, distorted voice crackled the words “JOHN KRASINSKI, GIVE US YOUR MONEY.”
“I’m not John Krasinski!”
“OH. MY BAD, BRO.”
The van doors popped open and I jumped out. I walked back to the restaurant, around a block away from the place where the van that the mysterious person used to kidnap me.
I walked up to the restaurant, but a man stopped and told me “Sorry, we closed one millisecond ago.”
“Aw, man! My date was in there,” I replied.
“That sucks. Bye!”
I walked back to my $100,000,000 apartment sad, bitter, dismal, heartbroken, melancholy, mournful, pessimistic, somber, sorrowful, sorry, unhappy, wistful, bereaved, cheerless, dejected, depressed, despairing, despondent, disconsolate, distressed, doleful, down, downcast, down in dumps, down in the mouth, forlorn, gloomy, glum, grief-stricken, grieved, heartsick, heavy-hearted, hurting, In those doldrums, in the dumps, languishing, low, low-spirited, lugubrious, morbid, morose, out of sorts, pensive, troubled, weeping and woeful. I decided to text Romancenovel tomorrow.